1 This Seems Familiar

Hello. The name's Ron. Ronald Stoppable. But it wasn't always. I used to be... well, I used to be someone else. I remember my old life, as well as how I died but I don't exactly remember the name to who I 'was'. A rather strange predicament if you ask me.

So you may ask how, and who, I am. Well that is simple. As cue my previous statement, I remember my past life. Not a bad life. It was simple. I wake up, check my notebook for which house calls I have to be ready for, and for any clients who are coming in, and make sure everything is slotted correctly for travel time and the amount of time they have picked for their therapy.

What do I do? Well I am a licensed massage therapist. I mainly help with the elderly with the aches and pains life has brought them, and cancer patients. Chemo therapy... It sucks. I do my damndest to help everyone and I will never tolerate any bastard who belittles any of my clients. Sometimes it feels like I am a psychologist as well when I listen to my clients, but I enjoy being here for them. Sometimes, just having a person to listen to you can help the stress on the body. Trust me, those knots in your back aren't just from lifting heavy weights, life just gets to ya!

And no, I am not a 'masseuse' or a 'masseur'. One being that we, the therapists, HATE being called as such. Two, a masseuse was and still is commonly used to refer to the ladies in this line of work. Thus, I cannot be such as I am a man. And three... Ya get the drift, definently not acting as if I do not have a third point to mention. Nope.

So anyways, I was heading to a house call for Mrs. Greene when I had a hankering. A hankering for some Reeses! And they came with these new snack cakes reeses. Just oh em gee. They are so good. Like a non crunchy reese stiks, but with chocolatey cakeness, and a yummy smooth peanutty deliciousness. Just divine.

Only one problem. I sandwiched the two that come in the pack. Normally, not an issue. But when your vehicle gets rammed into from behind at a red light, thus causing you to slam your face into the steering wheel and shoving the reese deliciousness down your throat.. Let's just say I never expected to die this way. Choking on chocolatey goodness with that smooth creamy filling.

No homo.

Or is it?

Meh, don't care.

Now onwards to what happened afterwards. Sorry to burst your bubble, but the bright light I saw was just when I was pulled from my new mother's womb. Yep, I went from dead to reese's to alive and still hating bright lights. Oh, and getting slapped around until I cried? Also hate that part. I will get my revenge doctor... Just you wait...

So yeah, now I'm a baby. With parents that are useless at the parenting thing. Don't get me wrong, they change me, feed me, and leave me with the cuddliest bear ever. But that's it. No social interacting. No cuddles. No going crazy with their first born and making sure they don't muck everything up. But when they called me Ronald Dean Stoppable. I will admit that I pooped myself. Diapers are a great thing when you need it. And this will be the only time I can say they shocked me shitless. So kudos to them.

And now it brings us to what I am doing. I stand here now (more like lay here) as a bubbly baby boy in a crib. And it sucks. So much. Oh my sweet bejeebus it is so da..ng boring. I want to be free dang it! Let me out! Cue the banshee wail and here comes the frustrated mommy.

Don't judge me! This is my only entertainment until I can start crawling! And seeing those baggy eyes, from who knows how many sleepless nights I have caused, brings me great joy.

I'm just waiting impatiently until I can finally meet the heroine of this story. Kim 'Don't Call Me Kimberly' Possible. And that's when I can finally get this show on the road. I'm gonna be the bumbling sidekick that is secretly bad ass. And then!! Well I don't yet. I'm stuck here whether I like it or not. So I'll make the best of it and enjoy what life brings me.