I’m Cool. Apollo Is A Master Poet. We Need Condoms.

Gaia, Mother Earth, has stayed still for too long now.

With power as large as a planet, literally, but influence as slight as a piece of paper, she knew she could rely on no one but herself.

Of course, Tartarus would probably help her, but he sees her as nothing but a tool for amusement and pleasure, maybe at a later date she would ask for their help if she deems it to be needed.

Through the constant pain of losing her children, only a parent would understand her position. Her anger became sadness in fight mode.

Ouranos betrayed her.

Kronos betrayed her.

Zeus betrayed her.

Her emotions bubbled and inflated to engulf her heart and mind. None to offer relief. None to offer comfort.

However, despite how much she thinks and wonders what to do, there is nothing, no explanation, no answer.

"Mother!" A voice sounded in her mind, reminiscing of years ago…

"Kronos, how are you, my child?"

"Mother!"

"Mother,"

"Mother…"

The voice of her youngest child repeated over and over. She trusted him, but the trust was not given back.

Only a single conclusion came to her head soon in the future…soon too late…

To beat the most powerful…make something greater.

….

"So, is he near?" Hermes asked me.

"Is…who near?" I questioned the God to my side.

"HERMES!" We both heard, turning to see Apollo dashing over.

""HAHAHAHAHHA"" They both laughed as they ran into each other, causing a small crack in the floor.

They indulged themselves in a strange, random conversation about how "The color of an orange is the same as its name. Just like a lemon"

After that, a shout of "Koalemos!" was heard as the man in question passed Hermes and Apollo asking, "Who? Is that me?"

At this, I decided it was best to leave the Gods alone, going over to Brontes and co. instead.

At this, I took a moment to truly embrace the moment I am in right now. I was stood here, in a hall of something believed to be a myth in what he guesses is a world of a book he read as a teenager and onwards.

I looked around and saw beings of multiple races and appearances, all celebrating an addition to the sears of Olympus, while the one in celebration waited by themself, walking over to cyclops, the three most disassociated people on the mountain currently.

Everything just felt so surreal, being a God, an Olympian now at that. The feeling of responsibility quickly began pressing into me.

Gods and Goddesses are always seen as doing what they wanted to mortals, which makes sense, but coming from a former human, my sympathy was much higher than all the others.

I didn't want to be known as a mega ultra swan rapist who ruined lives for a fleeting moment of pleasure.

I had only done this so I could secure Lemnos. Now with that done all that was left was to keep an honorable image and finally return to the Island with my head held high, knowing I had achieved glamorous results.

I do miss Algaea though…

And Thetis, Eurynome, Theodore, and all the residents of the island.

"Hello there," I heard a burly voice call out to me.

I look to my right to see a handsome bearded man smiling at me, "King Zeus,"

"How are you, my son?" He asked as I looked at him in confusion, "I can call you that since you have been floating around with my daughter, no?"

"What?" I voiced in utter confusement.

"My daughter, Algaea. I may not have the reputation, but even I can remember the names of my children. I just received her prayer a few moments ago. Hoping you would be successful," He explained.

"She was your daughter? I…didn't know," I said, now realizing that would make her my…cousin?

I don't mind though, since Gods would do that most of the time anyway…I should stop thinking like that, not good for my arrogance.

"Don't let it scare you now," he said with laughter.

"You shouldn't worry about that I don't think, I have my own parental problems to deal with," I told him, staring at Hera who was busily talking with Athena.

"Nice arse though," He commented.

"I don't think I should respond to that statement, My Lord," I said with a cringing expression.

He just smiled at this response, staring at her.

"Anyway, some ambrosia?" He said, handing me a beautiful golden glowing food, "My welcoming gift,"

"Thank you," I said generously, taking it from him and eating it in one go.

"Hey! You shouldn't eat it…in…one go…huh" He slowed his words every syllable as he stared at me.

"Why not?" I said, feeling a fresh ooze spread throughout my skin, like a shiver that cools you when you're too warm.

"Hahahahhaha!" He laughed loudly, attracting lots of attention, "It's nothing! You're really incredible, you know that?"

"Yeah…sure," I said, feeling a strange parental comfort as he gripped my shoulder.

"I hope to rely on you for many things in the future?" He said to me seriously, leaning near my ear, "You're new, so you wouldn't know. But seeing from your…presentation earlier, I know a certain 'problem' can be fixed,"

"What is it?" I said, taking a serious tone; he sounded ridiculously serious right now.

"Do you think you could maybe…make something for my presence to go undetected? Like the helm of Hades?" He questioned.

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

"You see…Hera always spots me when I am out you see. I was hoping you could fix this problem?" He said, keeping up a smile on the outside.

"Yes…I can see how that would be a problem," I put my hand on my chin, scratching it, "It would be nice to get some payback on her,"

"I knew you would understand!" He said, backing away.

"Of course," I gave him a thumbs up.

"Well, I should get to my husband duties, if you know what I mean?" He winked at me, "Don't you forget what we spoke about!" He shouted, before walking off with a boisterous laugh, in the direction of a random Goddess.

'Husband duties' huh?

….

10 years later…

Apollo neared the gates to Hephaestus' forge.

A lovely, perfect structure of a beautiful Goddess was laid at the front, accompanied by the nature, laid as the guide of direction for those seeking Hephaestus, named:

"Hephaestus' Maiden"

The kind God made quite the good image for himself. Created revolutionary inventions which mainly benefited the sea nymphs and the lower deities.

The effects of the winter, Persephone's absence, we're also lessened on the mortals, by introducing a few things here and there.

Also, Hera's rage cases of catching her husband seemed to lessen considerably…

Overall, he kept a blemish-free image with a large, generous personality, causing quite a few maidens to follow his image with their eye, something Apollo would constantly remind him of whenever he had the chance.

His response would always be, "My eyes and heart are set to another," Or something like that.

As a God of Poetry himself, Apollo found the words…lacking in the theme of love.

It should be more like:

I love you.

My heart is set.

On your sibling.

You know?

Anyway, currently, Apollo had already passed the large underground City of Hephatrite.

Named by yours truly. It is lovely, I know.

Apollo currently stood in front of the entrance of Hephaestus' main domain, speaking to a minuscule metal box.

'WELCOME. VOICE ACTIVATION REQUIRED,'

"Apollo," he said, brushing his hair, fascinated how Hephaestus made something like this.

'ACCESS DENIED,' was the response.

"He changed it again?" Apollo grumbled to himself, "Errrr…Son of Zeus,"

'TOO MUCH PROCESSING. PLEASE WAIT WHILE WE RESET OUR STORAGE...ACCESS DENIED,'

"Apollo, Son of Zeus," He tried.

'ACCESS DENIED'

"For Zeus' sake…God of the Sun,"

'ACCESS DENIED'

"Strongest Olympian,"

'ACCESS DENIED,'

"STRONGEST. OLYMPIAN,"

'ACCESS DENIED,'

"Damn you Hephaestus…" Apollo said, bracing himself for this self-torture he is about to do.

"Sun Twink,"

'WELCOME. SUN TWINK'

Apollo swiftly entered, punching the small machine, causing it to send a small spark of electricity in retaliation.

"Fuck you, you annoying machine," He shouted at it.

'SUN TWINK,'

"FUCKING-""Apollo?" A shout was heard, accompanied by a loud CLANG!

"Hello," Apollo replied, shaking his hand to negate the static.

"Hey," Hephaestus replied with his odd sense of speech, setting his hammer to the side.

"So…how are you?" Apollo asked, getting closer, since he is one of few beings who could stand the heat of Hephaestus when he is in the forge.

"I'm fine," he said with a chuckle, "Why?"

"What do you mean, "Why?" I'm just…asking how you are, is it not okay for me to do so?" He said with nervous chuckles.

"You never ask me how I am," He said with a suspicious look.

"Fine. I won't ask you again," Apollo said with a huff, grabbing some random tools before throwing them to the ground when he got bored of looking at his reflection in the cleanliness of the blades.

"You look disgusting with your sweat and grime," Apollo mocked him jokingly.

"Noe that's more like you Twinkle," Hephaestus replied, fully refreshed from the forge, "What is it you really want?"

"Zeus was saying something about how he needs you to style a…'dump and jump' situation?" Apollo explained, confused with the nickname.

"Another one?" Hephaestus thought, thinking to himself:

'Should I just try to make contraception? Nah, Greek Mythology is nearly nothing without the dick of Zeus,'

"Why does he need me to fix this again?" Hephaestus questioned, putting his equipment onto himself, his beautiful fire locks spreading across his neck and shoulders.

Thus, the two Gods, chattering and laughing, made their way to Olympus to have some fun in the guise of fixing Zeus' conundrum.

….

"So…did you take care of the sea dragon problem?" Delphin asked his friend, Poseidon:

"Yes, I just laid the last one," He said, taking a seat in the palace hall.

"'Slayed' the sea dragons…" He corrected his best friend.

"'Laid' the sea dragons…"

"'Slayed' the sea dragons…"

"'Laid'… the dragons…"

"What did you do?!" Delphin asked Poseidon desperately.

Poseidon started to get an adrenaline rush extremely quickly.

"Shit…it isn't my problem!" He shouted to Delphin.

"Yeah…yeah we'll leave it like that," He said, calming himself.

"Don't bring this up again…to anyone," Poseidon said to Delphin seriously.

"I won't, I can't forget what happened when we told everyone that it was you who birthed the cyclops-""No!" Poseidon interrupted his friend.

"I still remember the look on my wife's face when she found out…it was horrible,"

"They were friendly children though, nonetheless," Delphin chirped up.

"That is true…" Poseidon commented; the last sentence of this conversation as they both began complementation in silence.

With this, the birth of sea horses is explained…