7 Oath by Sunrise

Enamored by this tantalizing silver-gazed wordsmith, I find myself in a state of mental stillness; as if the rest of the world cease to exist.

Like forest vines clinging on for survival, my flabbergasted heart clings to every enticing word that held quixotic promises of happiness and reignited security; willful logic cautiously beseeches to re-awaken my heart's bewildered state of being, flooding my senses with dreamy memories of the past, to relentlessly preserve loyalty to Mithras.

My agitated mind demands unquestionable fidelity from my heart to not be dissuaded by flowery words from this raven-haired glitter-eyed provocative gift from god.

And yet, how can Ansel replicate the security I've only experienced with Mithras?

"Had my love for Mithras always been this feeble?" my thoughts uttered under silent whispers.

"What do you say Amaris? Are you willing to take a chance with me?" Nervously settling me down, Ansel, hesitant yet hopeful for my response, had lured my speechless body out to the airport's secluded corner garden to talk without distraction.

Embodying every known textbook micro-expressions exhibiting nervous hopefulness, Ansel truly seems genuine with his intentions to pursue; my heart proceeds to fall further for this unknowingly sincere stranger.

A man who willingly wore his heart on his sleeve deserves an honest answer. With his claims of potentially knocking on Death's door, I worry about his rather frail state of mind; for I do not wish to deny him of a love I feel he deserves.

Pulling him closer to sit by my side, placing each hand on his flustered chiseled caramel cheeks, taking a slow steady breath, I allowed my head and heart to say its piece; "Ansel, I find us meeting each other as some inexplicable twist of fate. With you wearing your heart on your sleeves like that, I feel like you deserve genuine honesty, given your situation."

With another deep breath, firming holding his gaze, ensuring he hears every word, I continued; "You deserve a love that is genuine and honest; a love I fear I may not be able to provide. For I still yearn for the traitorous silver-gazed thief that took my once welcoming heart, leaving me broken, haunted by a trail of unanswered prayers."

Suddenly, diamond tears cascaded his forlorn eyes, devastation rapidly spreading across his crestfallen face. The need to remedy the situation took over me, urging me to pull his dispirited face closer to mine.

"Ansel, look at me! Believe me when I say that I wish that for both our sakes! My broken heart will allow me to let such sincere love like yours into my life someday. Yet in my current gloomy state, I cannot give you a part of me that is in the possession of someone whom I still hold dear." Proclaiming my sincerity to Ansel, hoping he doesn't fall prey to trauma bonding.

"For now, I can be a friend; a comrade to the road of healing. Please don't lose hope in life, Ansel." Pulling him closer into my embrace, placing a kiss above his furrowed brows, desperate to not let such a sweet soul depart the land of the living, burying his face in my chest, I whispered:

"Life has never been kind nor generous to people like us. We live in a world of perpetual imbalance, of resources, wealth, compassion, and love; yet that doesn't mean that the world offers nothing but pain and hurt!?"

Slowly raising his teary demeanor, eyes filled with indescribable regret, Ansel finally spoke: "Amaris, I..." choking while trying to find the words to say, "I'm sorry for everything. Amaris, please forgive me... I-"

Ansel held me tighter, his painful sobbing muffled between my chest; as if every restrained whimper had excruciatingly caused a crack in his transparent glass heart, his weary body, muttering inaudible heartfelt apologies, clung onto my vertically challenged frame.

Hushing and lulling him in my warm embrace, the first few rays of sunlight graced his somber eyes, my thumb guided a stray hair from his face as I whispered to his ear, "I am still a stranger to you, Ansel. Nor do I have any intention of abusing the love you offer so freely. I will not allow anyone to abuse your generous loving heart."

Leaning my lips on his forehead, not wanting to pull away from his protective arms, I continued: "Our story may not start as whirlwind lovers, but if you'd still have me, why don't we start our journey as friends first? There's no guarantee that you might even pursue me once you get to know me."

With my half-hearted chuckle, Ansel nuzzled further in my neck, deeply inhaling my scent for some sympathy and comfort, my desire to rid this world of injustice and cruelty ignited the once dormant protective streak I'd once reserved only for Mithras.

Shocked by how my heart was eager to provide a space of empathy and comfort for dear precious Ansel, I found myself kissing his tears away as I gently caressed his weary broad shoulders, hoping I'd given him any sense of hope to live forward.

The bolstering noise within the airport seemed so far away; as if the rest of the world, laid still and had ceased to exist.

I found myself, cradled within his warm inviting embrace, as we welcome our soothing sympathetic silence to drown out the harsh realities of the cruel world that we live in.

My nimble fingers tracing his chiseled features towards the base of his well-defined jaw, my curious eyes gaze upon this beauty of a broken man. Who dared hurt such a delicate soul? Which sadistic ass-hat had pushed this loving man to the point of no return? Why break such a sincere human being?

Lost in my unanswered thoughts, our hurt-filled eyes held each other's receptive gaze, my fingertips barely grazed the prints of his sumptuous lips; my unsuspecting heart overpowered all sense of logic as I let my desires convey my heartfelt offer,

"Ansel, I may not be able to fix you. But I am willing to stay beside you as you work hard to heal yourself. If you're up for it..." Throwing caution in the wind, my heart, so full of hope for us both, took over my once-sullen being.

Conveying such a risky proposition with a forward-looking grin, my hopeful eyes remained drawn towards his silvery loving gaze, asking faintly sun-basked Ansel a simple question:

"Shall we stay by each other as we heal?"