prologue

"I want to die"

I am a early adult, A 18 year old boy/man

Who will thought that i a young adult think like that but i who has several times rejected accepting reality has that thought many times

"Ah man being adult sure hit me hard"

"Just where did all of this started" I muttered to myself

"Ah I remember now" I muttered as I close my eyes memories started to flow in me one by one just like when you are going to die it appears.

Right I hadn't always been a shut in Depersed teenager . I was born to a well- of family of a mother and father being a single child I was pampered my all wishes are being done before I complain but i also was a silent child .

I mean not always back in my elementary school everyone everyone always praised me for being smart for my age. I didn't have a knack for academics, but I was good atathletic . I got along with folks. I was the heart of my class.

It was not until my middle school second high that i develop social anxiety I don't know why maybe because of social pressure of everyone around me Or because of my parents but i don't want to blame anyone.

But after some time in the last year of my middle school I started to change and become again a center of class.

But It wasn't until high school—well, the last year of junior high, I suppose —that my life got all messed up.

I spent so much time fixated on my mobile that I neglected my studies. In hindsight, that was probably what led to everything else.

I didn't think I needed to study in order to have a future. I thought it was pointless. As a result, I wound up getting what was widely considered the second grade on highschool .

But even then, I figured I'd be fine. I could do anything I set my mind to, after all. I wasn't in the same league as the rest of these idiots. Or so I thought.

But after some time after the harsh reality hit me, I become a coward and run away from it