....I have to carry this guilt and pain my entire life...

"Thank you very much I thought you were different but then again I guess I was wrong"

"Alma what are you talking about..."

"Griffin how could you?"

these words echoed in his mind so loud as he clearly remembered the ugly look of disgust on her face...

He could loudly hear the screams in his head they were so vivid . Startled he got up quickly and sat down he clearly did not want to relive that fatefull day,he didn't want to remember anything from his past life as he now considered it to be...seemingly he was having a hard time to come to tearms with his current reality.

He then got up and went ahead to light the room.

"Damn who the f*** is that?" Stephano quickly granted as his eyes hurt trying to adjust to the sudden switch in the light intensity.

" it's you! You came back, when, how long have you...?"

"Bro come slow,honestly speaking,haven't you ever gotten a fill for watching such stuff,you did not even notice me getting in what if you were robbed by someone thief?" Griffin made a sarcastic remark, he then reached for a glass of water and filled it up to drink.

"hey, hey this is not p*** hub, I stopped watching that stuff long ago," he said as he tried to hide his laptop but it was clear Griffin had already seen it, "Stop hiding it I have already seen it and yeah,yeah it's not porn hub but still no,you really need some help you know,"giggling

"You should get off my case please!"he chuckled

"OK! OK! fine! fine! I will," he raised his hands in the air showing surrender,warmly smiling at Stephano who was alittle startled at the moment as a light sweat ran down his eyebrow.

"Anyway you vowed never to cook in this house Griffin added sarcastically once again as he chuckled,

"See who's talking I'm not your wife bro if you want food made go to a hotel or just marry already, get a Wife! hahaha or do whatever," he ranted sarcastically rolling his eyes.

Speaking of which, I've been anxious the whole day, wanting to ask you of this new mama everyone is talking about... James..."

"Which James are you talking about, who are you actually talking about, for real Stefano be forward,"

"Oh Boris's brother, don't tell me you don't know him any longer, he couldn't stop nagging me asking me for details, I had to tell him that I would call him once you clarified everything,"

"Wait what are you even talking about?" Griffin asked as he took a gulp of water furrowing his brows completely clueless of whatever Stephano was blabbering about,

"ok,ok take a chill pill, let me tell you, this is what I'm saying or then again why are you playing dumb so you decided tu hide such a babe and chop her by yourself, this one you'vebeen flaunting around,I thought that I was your friend I thought I was your bro, that's so f**** up,Now stop acting as if you don't know what I'm talking about and tell me who is the lady, like come out with it already I know you know what I'm talking about,"

Stephano smiled sheepishly.

"Honestly Stefano I don't know what you're talking about...my day today has been a hectic one so bad I cannot relive it even for a million dollar,wait! right now that you're speaking of it today ,almost everywhere I went and everyone I know was excited in fact they were elated with this new Mama issue on my status, I've been waiting to get home so that..."

He grabbed Stephano's phone,

" hey! what's that for?"

"wait, as long as you are sure you are not surfing the net for blue screen content you shouldn't be all defensive, bro I just want to check on my status on your phone,

"Oh yeah right, let me unlock the password for you ,you really have to tell me who she is....Damn! bro that baby is super hot if not h..ho..hooooot!" Griffin then looked at him suspiciously smiling as stephano's scrolled through his phone, to his Messenger app and clicked on to Griffin's status page.

"Here it is Griffin,"

Griffin couldn't believe it, "Believe me bro I don't know her,Oh my goodness so this is why...

"Why what? bro I'm not stupid, you take a hot photo like this with a new Mama and you pretend you don't know her!"

Flashbacks of the incident at the Matatu came to him as he remembered the soft voice that told him consoles him after he had fallen he then remembered taking a selfie not turning back to see who had actually consoled him after he fallen.

"Aaah no I remember,I fell in the matatu as in I fell on the floor and there was this person who I sit next to and she was like trying to help me up I did...like you understand I'm a man and my pride wouldn't let me....I assumed her and later turned to clean myself up, anyway I slept off and I did not notice her leave,when I got up the seat next to me was empty, I think she highlighted shortly after I slept then I didn't realise she got captured by my snap,"

"but you can't deny it she's hot and yeah simple and maybe two modest but she's hot," Stephano commented ruffling his head his dreadlocks and funning his shirt as feeling rather hot. Griffin on the other hand stared at the photo bedazzled by the beauty he saw, the glossy dark chocolate skin, the neatly tied long dreadlocks, the lips, her face wasn't fully captured as she was looking outside the window half but her beauty was simply obvious half of her face could be seen.He looked at her neck and shoulders, the rest of her body wasn't captured but from the looks of it the lady was simply stunning she had a left dimple from the looks of it that was visible even without her smiling.

"Hey bro snap out of it, you've forgotten that this stupidity was the same that made Fiona leave you,".

"Bro you had to go there..." Griffin placed his hand on his face rubbing it.

"look it wasn't intentional, I just ...anyway now that I know whatever is going on I will not bug you again,"Stephano apologized as he pulled his blanket to cover himself.

Griffin stared blankly into space he seemed as if he was in a trans before he sighed.

"Hey you... stop thinking about it," Stephano suggested handing him a little blunt.

"No thanks I'm good just smoke it outside,"

"if you say so," Stephano put it off on the ashtray,"But then again I can't stop thinking about it, whatever happened to M.J was an accident everyone knows this to be true,"

"But Fiona... chose to believe... " suddenly,he chocked on his sob as a tear fell from his eye.

"Yeah f*** her she chose to believe Dominique over you and chose to walk out of you because her family said so ,so what bro, you got to move on it's going to be hard it's going to be a bumpy ride I know but welcome to my world it's not easy," Stephano reached out to Griffin and patted him on his back .

"Seems you are still being haunted by this memories right?" Stephan asked.

"Yes I hate it I wish I could just forget it all but then again what am I to do, I have to carry this guilt and pain my entire life," he leaned on the wall and slid to the floor, "I need some hard drink right now something strong," he added taking another sip of water.

"Yow I think you also need to quit drinking hasn't it cost you so much already?" Stephano's eyes were full of worry and concern he didn't like seeing Griffin in this state and this was his brother, his sworn brother and he loved him so much.

"Isn't it funny, how can two bats lead each other as they are both blind?" Griffin asked taking another sip of water from his cup, Stephano moved close to him once again and sat right next to him putting his arm around his neck

"Did you know that a bat is not completely blind and they move in flocks yet they don't bump into any objects, how, you may ask, they are created in a way they use sound and echoes to see their surroundings and to navigate through even the thickest and darkest of rooms."

"for a guy who's always hung up on weed you're quite smart," making fun of Stephano.

"look I'm trying to say something important here don't cut me again..."

"Okay,well it's ok, but sincerely speaking I can't help it when you start giving me your wisdom... hahaha... but feel like laughing,guy I know you ain't dumb but still I ain't used to all this,"

"Are you going to sit up and let me finish what I want to say or should I let you figure out what I was about to say," Stephano complained a bit pissed at Griffin's indifference and insensitivity at the moment. Stephano wasn't the guy to publicly get emotional but if something meant a lot to him he could get really intense and Griffin constantly interrupting him wasn't amusing at all. anyway can he be blamed the two were practically brothers and getting on each other's nerves was inevitable, Stephano got his mood back and then cleared his throat,

"as I was saying before some vrat rudely interrupted me..."

"Wait! what did you call me?" Griffin gave him that cold icy look.

"A brat...are we going to dispute over that fact?" Stephano asked laughing he then playfully ruffled Griffin's short dreadlocks and pulled him into his bosom pressing his head into his chest practically choking him.

"Stop...!.... I can't..... breath..!" he pleaded

"Tap out first before I can let you off,"

Stephano gave him an ultimatum as Griffin quickly tapped out the grip on his head was quite strong.

"like I said don't interrupt a master while he utters words of wisdom," Stephano confidently stated as he gave a sophisticated demeanor like that of a sophisticated well-educated royal British prince or some Irish scholar or whatever....

"fine forgive me master,"Griffin added scoffing, "wisdom will kill you,"

" I see now we are talking it through... both of us seem to be lost and blind but just like that, we fit nowhere else better than we would with each other, pain is a dark cloud a dark force that tends to blind the eyes of the victim it deafens the ear of the recipient and cripples all their nationality and hope, hope I. the other hand is Golden and just like an echo we are led through these hard times by it so bro have hope things are going to be ok,''

In as much as Griffin had been avoiding this conversation he was quite amused by stefano's point-of-view how he looked at things, his perspective and the manner in which he handled issues himself,

"Well bro thanks, for a guy who takes weed you really got wisdom, I guess this reggae stuff is really doing you good," this were the last words he said but after a long time of digesting Stefano's words of advice, by the time he got back to him, Stephano had already zoned out and dead asleep on the floor Griffin smiled warmly pulling a blanket to cover him before he slid into his bed.

"Fiona believe me I cannot do such a thing let alone to your sister Mary Joanna....please believe me!"

Griffin struggled in his dreams before he finally got up all sweaty and scuttled a lot of hair he was dizzy he then took of his top only to bust into an uncontrollable whipping it just calling to go away the memories were as fresh as if they'd just happened again he cried himself to sleep now Stephano was a heavy sleeper so Griffin didn't have to struggle so much to hold anything in or the worry of having to wake him up. He cried himself to sleep.