54 She Haoran's Secret

Even when Hu Chuntian said it was alright for him to get hurt all night, in the end, it was Mo Aini who got hurt the most.

They passed by She Haoran and Mo Jiagei, and the couple couldn't help but stare quite a bit.

"Mr. Mo, what happened to you?" She Haoran frowned. "You have bandages all over your neck and face. And you seem to have been.... scratched?"

"What are you guys talking about?" The blond perpetrator had come by with a cheerful innocent smile.

Mo Jiagei felt awkward that Hu Chuntian is here, but it was more of seeing your ex-crush than your current crush kind of awkwardness. She's starting to get over this character a bit, seeing that he was not the bad boy type she expected.

Mo Aini narrowed his eyes at Hu Chuntian. "My cat scratched and bit me last night. Again and again."

"Oh my! Then you should get some rabies shots or something!" Mo Jiagei's character's eyes widened, mildly worried.

Hu Chuntian grinned. "It's alright, the cat was vaccinated. It got tame when Da Ge gave it some good disciplining. But you know, Da Ge was really weird last night! He seemed to have enjoyed getting scratched and bit by the cat, and made some pleased sounds and turned into a complete sadist—"

Mo Aini immediately covered Hu Chuntian's mouth. "Ah, we'll be going now! Good day to you both! Let's meet again when class starts!"

He dragged the talkative delinquent away before his alibi could be busted.

Hu Chuntian just smiled and kissed the hand that covered his mouth. "Da Ge, can we do it again tonight?"

"What the hell do you mean do it again!? Your back doesn't ache at all!?"

"Oh, it aches a lot. You were so mean last night. I had no choice but to bite your neck because of the pain. Chomp!" Hu Chuntian tried to take a bite on his fingers like a cat.

Mo Aini immediately let go and hid his hand yet Hu Chuntian still cling to it. The tired Da Ge sighed. "Sorry about that, I got a little carried away. Let's rest up for today—"

Hu Chuntian then whispered to him. "But it's not enough. I'm still able to walk after all. Da Ge should wreck me so hard so that I wouldn't have to go to school anymore."

Mo Aini gulped. (WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?????)

-----------------------

Class A's Chemistry class had a group project and it was about the basic lesson about chemical reactions, molecular structures, and states of matter. Mo Jiagei and Shu Chuanli got in the same group, while She Haoran and Mo Aini also picked the same number.

(Shouldn't Mo Jiagei always be together with She Haoran? Why are they in separate groups?)

[We're letting Mo Jiagei deal with her emotions towards She Haoran now. In order for that to happen, they need some space.]

(I really don't understand this route. Aren't they an item already?)

Before the system could answer, She Haoran cleared his throat. "Mr. Mo, please hand me that beaker, please."

"Oh, ok." Mo Aini reached out and grabbed the beaker then placed it over She Haoran's tongs.

She Haoran heated it and mixed it with some other substance, and foam started to come out.

"Good, we followed the formula perfectly in this experiment." She Haoran said, writing his findings on a pad. "On to the next one."

Mo Aini peeked and scratched his head. "This stuff is really complicated, Mr. President. I can't even make sense of these scribbles. How are you so good at everything?"

"Hah, I beg to differ." She Haoran waved his gloved hands. "There are many things I'm not good at."

"I'm having a hard time to believe that!" Mo Aini chuckled. "You're our perfect school pres! Where could you possibly be bad at?"

"Hmm.... If you really want to know then." She Haoran put down his pencil. "I'm horrible at sustaining long and genuine relationships."

Mo Aini blinked. "What do you mean? You're famous, everyone knows you, and you're a master at socialization."

"That's because I know exactly how to act and what face to wear in front of people. But it is often not what I truly would have acted when they're not around."

She Haoran gave a short glance at Mo Jiagei's direction. "I wish some people would see that more than the others. That's why, I'd rather be a neutral solvent in a relationship and see if someone could finally find my true form."

Mo Aini's eyes flitted back and forth from his sister and her boyfriend, then came to a realization of his own. He asked cautiously, "You mean that..... There's no one who made you feel like you are understood?"

"Or perhaps it is simply there's no one that exists that could understand." Shé Haoran lowered the heat a bit. "I don't think I quite understand myself either."

His eyes lowered a bit, but it was unnoticeable to anyone who isn't extremely perceptive. "Am I truly this 'image' that you believe I was, or am I also fooling myself? And once the image is gone..... What will be of me? Would I still be the same person...."

He poured something into a solid object and it vaporized into smoke. "Or would my sense of self vanish and I'll be abandoned completely by everything?"

Mo Aini was surprised by this sudden exposition. "I.... don't know what to answer. Have you communicated with Mo Jiagei about this?"

She Haoran nodded. "Ah, yes. Communication. We communicated a lot. But we merely communicated the things we wanted each other to hear. After all, this coupling would not last in the long run."

"If you don't mind me asking..... Are you truly a couple?"

She Haoran turned to him with a businessman smile. "You must be a relative of hers, correct?"

"Ah, no. Just the same surname—"

"I was testing you. I already knew you were her brother." She Haoran said. "You both have the same idiosyncrasies when you lie."

Mo Aini immediately shut his mouth. (Fuck, this man really knows how to make anyone feel inferior and awkward!)

"Nonetheless, there is no point in hiding it. No, we're not in a real relationship. Not in the usual sense." The school president pointed in Mo Jiagei's direction. "We are in a sort of contractual relationship, she and I. What you call a 'fake couple'."

"Why?"

"She needed good publicity, I needed good publicity. That's all we are to each other, assets to achieve more gains in our school endeavors."

Mo Aini clicked his tongue. (I should have guessed. So this was that kind of route all along.)

"But...." Mo Aini looked at She Haoran's writings. "Is it really just a mutually beneficial relationship as you say that's meant to last for a short amount of time..... Or do you want something more?"

She Haoran went quiet, and eyed him suspiciously. It's like he only now realized that he was being more open than usual.

"Come now, Mr. President! I really think you need this kind of talk, man to man." Mo Aini elbowed him. "I have a little experience in relationships myself so I may help you a bit."

Mo Aini remembered the stuff that happened earlier this morning. (Very little at that, and I'm still getting a grip around it, but whatever.)

"What do you desire the most for you and my sister?"

She Haoran knitted his eyebrows. "You want plain honesty? Because I guarantee it would surprise you."

"Be honest as much as you want. I'm not asking you to be as open as a bisected frog or anything." Mo Aini shrugged. "I'm just curious."

"Bisected frog? I'm amused by your response, so I would divulge a bit more to you." She Haoran said putting down his safety goggles. "Do you like birds, Mr. Mo?"

"Not really, why did you ask?"

"I had a bird once. My friends and relatives told me the bird liked me a lot. More than any human in the world. I believed them."

"The bird did seem to like me. It fed on seeds from my own hands every day. It would nuzzle when I pat its head. Then, while I was feeding it..."

She Haoran was so dazed from telling his childhood story that he completely dissolved their experiment material. "It flew away. Just like that. Without a tweet or goodbye."

"Did this.... sadden you?" Mo Aini was quite worried because the dissolving solution was spilling all over the table now.

"No." She Haoran turned to him with a smile. "It angered me."

There was so much self-awareness in the way he said it yet real rage at the same time. The awareness is keeping the rage at bay, but the extreme rage was also causing pressure in his mind.

"I thought 'How dare did that bird leave me? I own that bird. I should have cut its wings so that it would not go away.' "

"And that's when I realize my deepest hubris as a person. I cannot let go of something that I believe is mine. Object, animal, person..... Once I have claimed ownership of it, I could not let it leave me."

She Haoran got some rags to wipe the solution away, and smoke rose up a bit from it. Yet he did not care.

"It's very petty, don't you think?" She Haoran said. "But my mind would immediately go through ways on how I would bind my possessions to myself so that it may never abandon me. Because without them..... Without the things and people that I like...."

"Who am I? Aren't I just someone who's here to please? Aren't I the one who should be favored by the bird, by the school.... by her?"

He turned to Mo Aini. "Aren't I?"

His tone was very light, yet there was an edge to it like he was pleading. He needed Mo Aini to confirm it so badly. To keep his sanity intact.

There was a pause between them. The other group members were busy fulfilling the tasks assigned by She Haoran to them to notice.

Mo Aini then gently patted his shoulder. "You are a man who's afraid to lose everything. You think no one else can understand that or relate to that. But I do. I've been there before."

She Haoran's eyes widened and he blinked.

"You are scared that no matter how much you cherish something, it will escape your grasp and would not last. I can't tell you that you would manage to keep everything and you'll be happy with the ones you love by your side. I don't know much to say that."

He really doesn't know if Mo Jiagei would get a Good or Bad Ending at this point. But he really wanted to help She Haoran just like the others.

She Haoran had given him some good advice and a listening ear before, so he'll now return the favor.

"All I know is.... There are just times when we have to completely turn off our rationality. That is how you get the 'genuineness' you're looking for."

"I'm not saying you shouldn't worry and shouldn't overthink. I think anyone who says people can immediately turn off their anxieties are either bullshitting or plain insensitive since they don't really experience it themselves. What I'm saying is despite the worry... Just do it. No matter how much your head says no, try to be a little rebellious and....and.... I don't know, jump off that cliff or something!"

"Jump off that cliff? Pfft."

And for the first time, he heard She Haoran's genuine laugh that only a few people in this world have heard.

"Haha, your advice sounds like Wang Jing's and Ms. Li's, only much more..... simpler." She Haoran sighed after the good laugh. "I like it. How come I only conversed with you this thoroughly now?"

She Haoran offered a handshake. "It was nice to make your true acquaintance, Mr. Mo."

"Mn." Mo Aini couldn't help but smile as well as he took it. "Good luck on your relationship."

"You as well. I know Hu Chuntian's a rebellious type but don't forget to use protection. And as you said, good communication is a must. If it truly bothers you, ask him to cut his nails as well, unless you're into that thing." She Haoran said with a wave as he went over Mo Jiagei's table.

"Yep, bye...."

Mo Aini was just nodding and waving happily when he realized what She Haoran just said. "Fuck!!! He knew everything!!! Ugh, Hu Chuntian!!!"

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