34 I Know I Love You
[Shu Chuanli offers to have dinner at a restaurant later. Which restaurant do you choose?
>Spicy Hotpot
>Vanilla Jade Patisserie]
(Shu Chuanli likes sweets, so it's obviously the patisserie.) Mo Aini made a paper plane and shoot it in Mo Jiagei's direction.
She opened it and it said: Spicy Hotpot. She crumpled the paper and choose the opposite.
[+5 Cupid Points!]
(I don't care about the fucking Cupid Points, I just don't want the 'Bad Ending to happen.)
[But you can buy skills with the Cupid Points, including another Cheat Pass. Though you wouldn't earn enough at this point.]
Mo Aini scoffed. (The Cheat Passes are a scam. I figured it out.)
[Oh? What did you figure out?}
(You can only transfer me to a parallel universe, but not an earlier time from that universe. That's why in the first world, I started with the first day of school, and when I got here, I got out of the hospital elevator and it's already two months since the classes has started. This world is just a copy of the original, and the changes in the environment there also happens here. That means.....)
Mo Aini slumped down at his desk, twirling his pencil while frowning. (That the scratches on the cherry blossom tree were made by Hu Chuntian 1.0 . That bastard waited for me despite the letter I made before I left.)
[... You really don't want to get your memories erased again?]
(No.) Mo Aini shook his head. (I should be aware of the truth so I could avoid any more mistakes like.....)
(Making another Hu Chuntian fall in love with me.)
[I see. Oh, speaking of the devil.]
Mo Aini turned to the door of Class A as the system said this. Hu Chuntian 2.0 was waiting by the door, checking his watch impatiently. Their current class was overtime because the teacher kept droning on and on with no regards for the time, so the great Tiger Emperor waited outside like an idiot for 15 minutes.
Finally, that class was dismissed, and Hu Chuntian went to take Mo Aini by the arm. "You promised to teach me until the finals next week, remember? Why are you suddenly avoiding me now?"
"I'm not avoiding you." Mo Aini shrugged him off emotionlessly. "I'm just busy. I have to study too by myself and maintain my grades to stay in Class A."
Mo Ain turned and walked away. Hu Chuntian doesn't buy it, and followed after him.
"What really happened when you collapsed?" Hu Chuntian took his hand again, his expression worried. "You just... changed. Did I do something wrong?"
"No." Mo Aini shook the hand away again. "What wrong can you ever do to me? You're the great Tiger Emperor. My 'Da Ge'. I merely followed all your commands, but I have to think about myself too. You need me for good grades, and I'm willing to help by giving you reviewers and books and pointers to remember—"
"I don't need those things! What I need is to be with you, ok!?"
Everyone in the busy hallway went quiet and looked at them. Mo Aini could barely care. He just want to drive this Hu Chuntian away so he could not hurt him as much as he hurt the first Hu Chuntian.
He breathed slowly..... then said, pushing Hu Chuntian away: "Don't make a scene! I don't want to be with you! I'm tired of you only using me, so I don't like you anymore! Just leave me alone!"
Hu Chuntian was pushed back so strongly that he stumbled on the lockers with a bang! Mo Aini fought the urge to help him up so badly, and he turned and ran before he changes his mind. Hu Chuntian was so stunned that he didn't get up for quite a while. The students whispered among themselves yet he didn't care.
Out of breath, Mo Aini reached the outside of the building.
[Your acting has gotten really good.]
(Go die.)
He pushed his hair back and calmed his chest. But it still aches. God, it aches so much.
[Why can't you allow yourself to love this Hu Chuntian? They are more or less the same anyway—]
(That's exactly the problem. I'm hurting the same person all over again, and he isn't even aware of it. And I'll end up hurting myself because of him....)
Mo Aini looked up to the bleak and dreary sky. (In the end, we're both losers in this game.)
----------
Hu Chuntian walked out of the building in a daze, and right on time, it started to rain.
He had no umbrella.
Still, he kept walking like a zombie. A bespectacled teacher with a long goatee approached him. "You shouldn't walk under the rain, you'll get sick."
Hu Chuntian waved him off lazily. "Leave me alone, baldy..... Wait.... Don't you have a twin brother in the clinic?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Hu." The teacher shrugged. "Anyway, I came to tell you that I am pleased with the result of your latest quiz. If you keep this up, you'll get to Class B, maybe even Class A if you work hard enough."
"There's no point. I'll skip class during the exam."
The teacher pushed up his glasses. "Oh? Why?"
"My only motivation to study doesn't want to see me anymore." Hu Chuntian looked down on the grass, watching the water drip from his hair.
"Ah, so you only study for a person. Not your future, tsk." The teacher reproached him.
"I have no future, baldy. Just a dead-end. " Hu Chuntian grinned wryly. "You know what I was like before. Do I look like someone who even has a future to bother with?"
He shivered a bit from the cold seeping in his skin, and hugged his tiger jacket tighter to himself. "But when this person came out of nowhere..... I suddenly felt like I could have one. I want to have one. I don't want to have a dead-end life, I want... What I want... Is a future with him."
"Are you sure this feeling is real? This strong desire to have a future with someone.... will it last? You're still young." The baldy shrugged. "You can still meet someone else to be your motivation to have a bright future. You'll forget about this crush eventually---"
"It's real." Hu Chuntian said defiantly. "I know it. I don't need your validation to tell if my feelings are real."
Hu Chuntian ran off, his eyes blurry from the rain. He ran to no direction in particular. He bumped into something hard....
And realized he reached the cherry blossom tree.
"Stupid tree!" Hu Chuntian punched it... but a tear fell from his eyes. He continued punching while slowly falling down to kneel, and eventually hugged the tree. He had never felt such a strong fear to lose someone. He doesn't want Mo Aini to leave him.
He looked at the poem left at the trunk, and the scratches. He narrowed his eyes as he seem to see light coming out from the engravings.
Suddenly, a burst of light swallowed him.
-----------
"Welcome back, Hu Chuntian!"
The club greeted him as someone opened the door for him because his arm was on a sling. He thanked that person briefly and nodded to everyone who greeted his arrival. He approached Ma Jianyu. "Where is Jie Taime?"
"Jie Taime?" Ma Jianyu blinked, as if only remembering the name. "Ah, we haven't seen him for days. He didn't visit you in the hospital anymore?"
"He left a note." Hu Chuntian used his free hand to get the envelope.
It just said the simple words: 'I'm leaving. Forget about me. Don't wait for me.'
The club members read it and frowned. "Maybe he went to another school?"
"Did he say anything about going to another school?"
"No, he didn't really mention anything like that."
Then there's only one explanation. Mo Aini was taken away by the entity that brought him to this world and was controlling his actions. He may never see him again.
The atmosphere at the club went awkward. Hu Chuntian can sense the pitying looks that everyone was giving him. He looked at the decorations and the feast that was set up, and broke the ice by asking. "So.... you guys are having a party?"
"It's a celebratory party for the play's success." Mo Jiagei said. "The play's last performance was a week ago, but we postponed the party until your recovery from the hospital."
Hu Chuntian frowned. Mo Jiagei is still here, yet her brother is not. How is that fair? " You shouldn't have waited for me, I had no contribution on the actual stage performance anyway."
"But you used to have one of the important roles, and your performance set a standard for us to follow." She Haoran offered as a consolation. "Won't you join us?"
"I'm not in the mood to party, sorry." Hu Chuntian turned back to the door to leave.
"Wait!" Gou Manchu placed his hand on his shoulder. "I know how hard it must be for you. I'm Mo Aini's friend too—"
"He's not just my friend." Hu Chuntian gently brushed his hand off.
"Oh... y-yeah, I know that. What I'm trying to say is that he's important to me too. I understand how you feel—"
"No, none of you do." Hu Chuntian eyed the whole room sternly to stop them from attempting to comfort him. "I'll be going out for a smoke. You don't want to have a party in a room full of smoke, do you?"
The club members shut their mouths, and finally allowed him to leave. Hu Chuntian brushed his long hair back, and with one hand, placed a cigarette on his lips.
He lit it with a lighter, and a dark thought came over him. He placed the flame closer to his skin....
Then stopped, and shook his head. "That's not what he would have wanted for me."
He heaved a huge breath, walking to the shade of the cherry blossom tree where they last met. Where he almost killed him. Hu Chuntian kinda wished he just did.
Sitting below the tree which pink petals are starting to show signs of wilting, he played with his lighter again and again. Once he got bored, he resolved to watching the clouds as he smoke after smoke after smoke. Merely passing the time, remembering that it was just like this before Mo Aini came into his life.
"Da Ge. Maybe you really are a divine immortal." He said to the empty air.
His life before him was..... nothing. No direction, like the fleeting clouds. No real joy in making other people suffer. Then like magic, he finally had a purpose.
Mo Aini was his purpose. It sounds cheesy as hell, but it's true.
So how could he just leave him and expect him not to wait for him? He didn't even hear Mo Aini say what he was to him. How he feels about him.
"Would you say that you love me? Or do you just pity me?"
But he guessed he'll never know. What he knows for sure.....
Is that he loves him so much that living without him is just impossible.
He picked a piece of sharp, jagged rock. He traced it to his wrist... and decided to injure the tree instead.
"I, a worthless person, wanted to be loved back by you
Desperate and pathetic, I chase after you
There is only you, and so I'll wait for you."
Then beside it, he made a single straight line to mark his first day of waiting. Even if it takes his whole life, even if his hair has grown white, he will wait. His heart will forever call out his name, in this life and the next.
Mo Aini.
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