10 1.10

[Warning: Consensual Sex]

After detaching the IV, Jianyu helped me off the sofa, then hesitated before lifting me into a princess carry again. I recalled the embarrassing carry home. Not once had he let go of me until setting me on the sofa.

As he set me on the edge of the bed and let go, my hand instinctively reached out to him, feeling desperate.

"Sleep with me tonight," I clung to his sleeve, reluctant to let go.

He examined me head to toe with his steel grey eyes, then ran his free hand through his short, neatly trimmed, black hair.

"Luna, considering what's happened tonight, do you think that's wise?" He asked, his face finally showing emotion and hesitation, now that we were alone.

All my walls crumbled at the sight of his wavering expression. He was truly torn up at my suggestion. Did he find me dirty now? Did he no longer want me?

"Please?" I barely managed to form words as tears escaped my sore eyes. Tears I'd been holding back for too long with too many eyes watching me. But in front of him, I knew I could fall apart. I knew I'd be safe. 

He dropped to the floor, swiftly wiping a tear that still clung to the corner of my eye. 

"Sh… Luna, it's okay, everything will be okay, don't cry," he soothed me, despite his voice being hoarse, holding back tears of his own.

"D-don't leave me," I begged, unable to look him in the eye as my fingers wound their way to clutching onto both his forearms tightly.

"I won't," his breath hitched as he cautiously leaned towards me, his head resting on top of mine as he pulled me into a tight embrace, "I will never leave you, nothing will stop me from staying by your side."

"Y-you really s-still want me?" I sobbed into his shirt, uncaring for how ugly I must look right now.

"Of course," he exasperatedly sighed, "I will want you no matter what."

"Even, even though I'm d-dirty now," I shuddered, feeling itchy from the sweat drenching my body.

"You're only a little stinky," he laughed bitterly, pulling apart, "why don't I go run you a bath?"

I nodded glumly, watching his broad back as he walked into the ensuite. 

Once I'd regained my senses, I pushed myself up to gingerly follow him through. The shower was running alongside a bath that released a soothing scent of lavender amidst its bubbles.

"Thank you," my hand reached to touch his arm, "thank you so much…" even though I'm not your Zhiyue.

"It's no problem Luna, after all, one day I'll be your husband, I have to work hard," he winked playfully, suppressing all former emotion from his face. 

"Why," I bit my lip nervously, "why do you call me Luna?" The immortal had called me Luna before, making me think that it might just be my actual name. Mine, not Zhiyues. 

"It's your English name, your mother is half-British," he explained without batting an eye, stopping the hot tap to turn on the cold. 

"Oh," I sighed, pulling off my socks to toss directly into the bin, instead of the laundry hamper. I wanted to incinerate these clothes if I could.

He went to turn out of the bathroom, after ensuring the bath water was at the perfect temperature. 

"No," I desperately clung to him like a leech, "please don't go."

He coughed nervously, his every muscle tense. 

"But you're bathing," he gulped, his adam's apple bobbing. 

I did not care. I did not care about anything else. I just couldn't bear the thought of him leaving my side. Even if he wasn't mine before, he was mine now. 

"Stay," I tugged, forcing him to look down at me, "please."

He relented, "okay."

Stipping off his jacket, he leaned against the countertop, folding his arms. Reassured he wouldn't leave, I walked to the streaming showerhead and stripped out of my clothes. 

Turning the dial hotter, I let the steaming hot water hit my bare body, it felt like bliss against my bare skin. Letting it scald my nerve endings into submission, wanting it to destroy all sense of touch as I scrubbed each and every inch of my body red. 

"Luna," Jianyu spoke from outside the glass door, "come on, why don't you come to relax in the bath."

"O-okay," I dropped the loofah to the floor and stumbled out dejectedly, uncaring for the way his concerned eyes scanned my body. 

"Come on," he ushered me, then practically lifted me into the large freestanding bathtub like I was nothing. 

The water gave a soothing sting to my raw skin as I sunk to lower myself beneath the bubbles. I finally let go of the breath I hadn't even noticed I'd held. 

"Feel better?" Jianyu asked, his hand pushing the wet hair that clung to my cheek.

"Yeah, much better," I clung to his hand, gripping it tightly in mine.

After relaxing for a while, I noticed Jianyu was mixing oil into my hair just as his fingertips reached my scalp. I let out an embarrassing moan, making the air somewhat ambiguous. 

"I'm done," I sat up, blushing. 

He grabbed a bathrobe and helped me out of the bath, eyes awkwardly looking away. 

Once he had dried my hair at the vanity, he got up, eager to leave. 

"Please," I reached for him again but found thin air. "Jianyu."

"I'll be back," he reassured me, ruffling up my hair to make me bat his hand away.

"Okay," I pouted, then watched him walk out of the room with a heavy heart.

After dressing into a nightie and undies, I crawled into the bed, wondering what Jianyu was doing. Was he really coming back? Was he just trying to soothe me before escaping?

The door clicked open and a freshly showered Jianyu walked inside in a pair of lounge pants. It exposed the thick and sturdy muscles I had felt under his shirt before. 

"Not asleep yet?" He murmured, closing the door to join me in the bed. I shifted from the middle making room. The bed sank with his weight, luring me to lean back to feel his hard chest behind me. 

"C-can you hold me?" My skin still burned with the feeling of that stranger's touch. I wanted nothing more than to smother it with Jianyu's. 

"Sure," he pulled me into him, his chin resting just above my head as his hand rested on my stomach, the other slid under my neck. "Now sleep."

I nodded slightly, shivering and leaning against him to seek more warmth. 

Moments passed and his heavy breaths lulled me as my eyelids drooped shut. The memories of my first experience and the event from hours before merged into one tormenting nightmare, making me jerk awake. 

My heart beat wildly in my chest. Only Jianyu's tight hold on me grounded me in reality. I was here, I was safe, I was with him. 

He was such a good man. Always filling me with safety and security that I did not deserve, though greedily I'd taken it. 

Though my body was no longer a virgin, my soul was new, I'd never experienced sex. The idea that somebody may take that first experience from me forcefully filled me with dread. 

I wanted him. I wanted only him to do that to me. 

I wriggled, turning over to study his sleeping face. 

"Jianyu," I squeaked, my hand reaching to cup the side of his freshly shaved face. 

"Yes?" He answered clearly, making me aware he had never been asleep. He was good at playing dead. 

I bit my lip, nervous he had witnessed my panicked state just before. 

"Can, can we do it," I asked quietly. His eyes snapped open, his eyes somewhat glowed silver in the dim light. 

"Do what?" He asked a hint of humour to his tone.

"You know," I bashfully closed my eyes, "sex."

He chuckled softly, then kissed my forehead, "go back to sleep."

The rejection stung like a blade through my chest. 

Speechless, I lay limp in his arms as he adjusted to get comfortable again, pulling me to him. My hand twitched, then spread out against his warm chest.

My fingers lightly glided along the toned muscle, feeling the lines of his abs in the darkness. 

"Luna," his voice was hoarse.

"Jianyu," I feigned ignorance and innocence in my simple reply. 

"Sleep," he spoke through a clenched jaw.

"I can't," I sighed dejectedly, letting my finger drift to the deep V at his pelvis.

His hand swiftly moved to grip mine still. 

Persistently I raised my leg so my thigh lingered over his crotch, feeling something hard. 

So he did want me?

"Jia-" his lips smothered mine in a suppressing kiss as he rolled me onto my back and pressed his hard bulge against my core.

Hands lingered on either side of my head as he pushed harder, pressing me firmly into the soft mattress. 

Elated, my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his head closer as our tongues clumsily met. A deep need filled the pit of my stomach as my thighs parted wider. 

Breathlessly our lips parted as we stared into the eyes of each other in a moment of hesitation from both sides. 

Seeing that he was about to climb off me, my legs instinctively wrapped around his hips.

"Luna, I…" He found himself lost for words when I reached up to kiss him tenderly.

My heels pushed down his pants, exposing his ass. He growled, deepening our kiss before pulling apart to kneel. 

No longer hesitating, his hands went straight to lift my nightie and tug at my underwear, pulling them all the way off and tossing them aside. 

My hands reached and lowered his pants, exposing him before my wide eyes. Though the lighting was dim, my vision was enhanced. A perk of being an immortal, I could heighten or dull any sense I wanted, though limited. 

Though bashful, I studied it momentarily. Then Jianyu lifted my nightie over my head and pushed me back before I could take another look.

"I love you, Luna," he murmured into my ear, before kissing my neck. 

Speechless I lay there, a shred of guilt tearing at my heart. His love was not for me, but here I lay stealing it.

Before I could adjust to my bitter thoughts, he entered inside me cautiously, slowly. My legs gripped tightly at his hips, neither pushing him away nor pulling him closer.

My eyes widened at the new sensation. A hand pushed a loose strand of hair from my face, then cupped it. 

Such a warm and loving look he gave me in the darkness, as his hips moved slowly thrusting it deeper. 

A moan escaped my lips as he hit at something inside of me, making my toes curl. Then he pulled out, making me tighten my grip on him.

Gently, too gently, he eased in and out, not gazing away, unashamedly studying every expression on my bashful face. 

I closed my eyes, just focusing on the pleasure building up alongside his speed and strength. Unable to bear it any longer, I found my hips motioning alongside him whilst my fingers clutched his back, nails digging in.

Feeling carried away by a strong tide, I let the waves crash over me, smothering me, until I breathlessly cried out succumbing to them entirely. 

He collapsed on top of me, smothering me in kisses on my lips, my cheeks, and my tear-stained eyes.