19 Pride or Pity
Violette sat sideways on the couch under the large window, stretching her legs to the full length and propping her elbow on the backrest as she gazed out of the window with a calm expression on her face.
"What are you thinking about?" A hoarse voice pulled her attention back into the room and she saw Charlie looking at with a smile, as his frail, bony fingers pulled down his oxygen mask.
Violette quickly got up and reached his bed, ready to put the mask back over his nose, but Charlie held her hand and tapped it reassuringly.
"I need you to do something for me." He said gently, his voice thin and low.
"What is it?" She asked, without a second thought.
"I want you to meet someone." replied, Charlie, much to Violette's confusion. But he soon continued with a cautious tone. "He is the son of your mother's friend. He is a really good man and…"
Violette understood where it was going and a deep frown settled between her brows.
"Just… hear me out. Please?" Charlie requested in a feeble tone and Violette looked at his pitiful expression helplessly, before nodding her head, allowing him to continue.
"I've known him since he was a kid. He can be a bit slow, but he is a good man, and if you marry him, I can finally let go, knowing he will be there by your side to take care of you."
"I don't need to be taken care of, Charlie." Violette grumbled, with a stern glare directed at the old man. "And if you are so worried, get well and look after me yourself."
"Violette…" Charlie let out a defeated sigh at her stubborn attitude.
"I'm sorry, Charlie, I have no intention of getting married." Violette made it clear, not giving him any chance to convince her. "I've been by myself most of my life and I'm perfectly fine being alone for the rest of it."
A brief silence settled between them as Charlie glanced at Violette calmly, trying to find a trace of the lively girl who was once so full of dreams and ambitions. But now, the girl in front of him was just a shell he could barely recognize.
"Nobody should be fine living alone, Violette." He muttered out loud, his tone laced with grief and guilt. "If we refuse to form connections because we lost someone close, we would all be living lonely, miserable lives."
Violette was quiet as she gazed into the distance, her eyes drooped down as if unable to bear the weight of her sorrow. The aura around her became gloomy and her presence itself turned dim.
"If there is one thing I learned in this life, it is that being alone is much better than becoming alone." Her words sounded mournful as if she was trying to completely erase her emotions so she won't feel the pain anymore.
The atmosphere in the room turned heavy and Charlie took a sharp breath in and closed his eyes helplessly.
Just then she heard a knock but chose to ignore it and glanced back at Charlie. She felt a stab in her chest at the sight of the old man's silent anguish. She could see the sorrow and heartache in his expression and felt extremely conflicted.
Unable to see him like that, she bowed her head down, while biting her bottom lip heavily to stop herself from speaking anymore.
"You are only alone as long as you choose to be so, Violette." He said, still so full of hope and concern
She slowly raised her head to look at him and saw that he still had his eyes closed. "I want you to know that you don't have to live like that."
He then slowly opened his eyes and smiled at her, his deep, sunken eyes filled with pain and affection. "You deserve to be with someone who will treat you with love and respect. Someone who won't judge you for your flaws but accept you for who you are. Someone who will stand by your side through it all."
"I just hope you don't hold yourself back because of the past and look forward to the future. You deserve to live a full, happy life with a family of your own.
Violette was deep in thoughts when she heard the knock again and frowned in annoyance.
Charlie let out a weak chuckle and smiled at her. "Now, go and let him in."
- -
The small, cozy room was quiet and still, as if secluded from the chaos of the world. The dark carpeted floor was littered with loose papers here and there, forming a trail towards the bed in the center of the room.
Lying on the bed was Violette, peacefully asleep as she curled herself into a ball, with her legs pulled up closer to her body and her hands stuffed together under her chin. She was still in her light blue jumper and black leggings. Her short, honey-blonde hair was covering the scars across her face as she slept with a solemn expression on her face.
Yet the tranquility was broken by a knock on the door and the girl slowly stirred awake with a low groan.
But as she tried to sit up, a sharp pain shot through her leg, making her gasp as she quickly lied back onto the bed. She squeezed her eyes shut and gritted her teeth as she tried to bear with the pain and keep the scream contained in her throat.
The throbbing pain made her fully awake and she realized that she must've fallen asleep on her bad side. She sighed heavily and stretched her hand out as she began to search around the bed.
She found her mobile after fumbling around a bit and quickly unlocked it before checking the time.
Her brows knit into a tight frown as her icy blue eyes stared at the phone screen in confusion. She gently rubbed her eyes with her sleeves before taking a clear look at it again.
The screen displayed 8:05 PM and she was surprised for a moment as she realized that she actually slept for more than five hours. She used the back of her hand to cover her mouth as she let out a sleepy yawn.
It was rare that she managed to get such a long, dreamless sleep without waking up at least once or twice for varying reasons.
But alas, the cost of her long, uninterrupted sleep came to be the agonizing pain wracking her body right now, completely draining the energy she regained through the sleep.
And just as Violette was going numb from the torment, there was another knock on the door, effectively pulling her out of her limbo.
She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, taking long and heavy breaths in a bid to gather whatever energy she could. She wasn't in a hurry to go open the door, as she already knew who might be on the other side.
If anything, she was too stubborn to face him in her current state and didn't want to reveal her weak side to anyone, much less to a man who deserves a perfect wife.
Her pride wouldn't allow her to appear in front of him in such a dismal manner.
There was another knock on the door at that time and Violette couldn't lie still anymore. Despite her earlier reluctance, she bore with the stinging pain and sat up slowly and slid her legs down the side of the bed.
Around her were various files and loose documents scattered all over the bed, with some slipping onto the floor as well. She pushed some of the loose papers aside and sat still for a while, with her hands by her side as she let out a heavy sigh, and a thin layer of sweat on her forehead.
And just as the pain subsided and she was able to breathe normally, she heard another knock followed by a voice. "Violette… it's me. Uh… are you okay?"
The concern in his voice somehow soothed her pain and momentarily allowed her to regain her bearings. Her lips unconsciously twitched into a faint smile as she let out a low chuckle.
What was she so worried about?
Her pride?
Or his pity?
She remembered what he told her as he left her at her door in the afternoon.
'Don't do anything reckless.' He advised her, as if she was a mischievous kid always looking for troubles.
And he even dared to laugh as he poked her nose. For the second time too.
The image of his warm smile somehow reassured her heart and cleared her head of all the unnecessary thoughts.
She slowly got up to her feet and took a deep breath before turning towards the door.
But just after a couple steps, she felt the pain shoot through her leg again and she grabbed the bed to keep herself from falling onto the floor. She carefully steadied herself and took a deep breath as she made her way to the door, albeit with a bit of effort.
