Chapter 12 - "I See you"

"Are you there?"

The voice called out again. Where was I? What was it? I had no idea and the void of sensation around me was infinite and terrifying. I couldn't feel my body. I couldn't open my eyes, twitch my fingers, or even try to move. I was completely, and totally isolated.

And it called out again.

"Are you there?"

I couldn't feel myself trembling or the pounding of my heart against my chest, but I knew that I'd be shaking in my boots. There was just something so unnatural about the voice. Primal fear bubbled within me.

I said nothing. I did nothing. I was nothing.

"No?"

"Are you really not there?"

The voice whispered. I didn't know how, but I could feel it searching for me.

"Are you there?"

"Hello?"

"Don't ignore me."

"I know you can hear me!"

"Hello?"

I held my breath or at least tried to. Without lungs or a body, it was hard to mimic the motions. The voice grew more and more distant until it completely vanished. Only then did I let myself relax.

What the hell had that been? The stupid ritual was supposed to help me find this "omen." Was that it? I thought the guy was just some crazy monk that could feel my psychic energy! Is there really some crazy shit inside me?

...

I slowly tried to "open" my eyes. It failed, of course. I didn't have a real body right now, so it was obvious I had no eyes. But did that really mean I couldn't see? Supposedly, the stupid ritual should have sent me inside myself or something? At least, that's how these things normally work.

I calmed my mind and tried to imagine making two small balls of energy. If this was my soul, mind, or whatever, then I should be able to at least affect it, right? I called and the world around me responded, subtly swirling into tiny marbles. And then the energy dissipated a second later.

It wasn't going to be easy, was it?

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Time and time again I made the stupid clumps of energy, only to feel them crumbled between my non-existent fingers. Why? Why was this so darn hard?

I had to stay calm. The smallest of distractions could just break them apart. I needed to think of something else. So I put my mind to it. What could keep me focused?

The answer was simpler and far stupider than anyone could have guessed. I imagined that I was holding something. I closed and opened my "hands," squeezing down on the soft, round objects. They were spongy and quickly bounced back the second I loosened my grip.

I used small stress balls, sponges and the like. In my mind, they might as well have been there. After about what felt like ten minutes, I finally made the small "eyes" that I'd use to look around. Compared to actually making the damned things, it was so much easier to see through them. I just "moved" my floating consciousness next to them. I moved them where I thought my eyes would be and then there was light.

"Huh..." I whispered. Wait, I heard that.

My eyes snapped open and I looked down at myself. I had an actual body!

My lips rose into a smile as I looked at my hands. With a tiny bit of effort, they opened and closed.

"What the hell?" I mumbled to myself. "How does this work?"

An old quote came to mind.

I think, therefore I am.

I still had no idea how this worked, but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. More importantly, did having a body mean whatever was calling out could see me?

...

I wasn't going to risk it. Suddenly, the sound of rolling waves reached my ears. I had been standing in a perfectly white, infinitely long void. But now I could feel sand between my toes and cool refreshing water flowing over my feet. In an instant, this world had changed and I found myself standing by the shore of a beach.

"Maybe I should leave," I said softly. The distant sun was slowly rising into the sky. Its brilliant rays were warm against my naked flesh, and yes, I wasn't wearing anything at all.

"Are you here?"

A soft echo bounced from the rocks to my left. My eyes shot open. Are you fucking serious?! I desperately looked around, trying to find anywhere I could hide. There! I rushed behind one of the large boulders behind me. It looked like I was by a cliff-side beach or something. Before, I felt like I was shaking, but now I was shaking. I bit down on my lip and tried to make myself as small as possible behind the rock.

"Hello?"

The voice continued to grow louder and louder until it felt like I was right next to it.

"Are you there?"

It was probably just behind the rocks. I could hear the crunching of sand and the splashing of water.

"Are you over there?"

I could recognize the voice as something... well, It wasn't a guy or a girl. It felt like both were talking at the same time while someone dragged their nails across a chalkboard.

"I can see some footprints!" the voice said again. "Come out!"

My stomach churned and I felt my face pale. It would find me any moment, but I couldn't so much as move. I was petrified. A minute passed, then two.

"I can just follow them! Come out!"

Wait... if It could see my footprints, then why hadn't it found me already? It wasn't like I ran very far or anything.

...

Something wasn't right. I slowly edged closer to one side of the boulder to get a better look. I'd just peek around the corner and then hide back.

I-

My blood froze.

If... If seeing through those eyes I made was enough to have my body appear, then would "seeing" the voice make it appear?

"Come on! There's no point hiding!"

I gulped and held a hand to my chest. It felt like my heart was trying to jump out of my body.

My eyes went wide. I... I couldn't even describe it. It had no face, no form, nothing I could recognize. Looking at it made my head hurt. The body I was using began to break apart. What little concentration I had, went into keeping it in one piece.

"W-What are you?"

I called out with a growl, struggling to keep my eyes on it. It was as if I was being hit with the worst brain freeze in existence. Just talking had me feeling like my lungs were on fire.

"Huh? I guess you wouldn't recognize me, would you?"

The corners of my eyes began to dim. Everything was going dark.

No! I wasn't going to fall here.

I called every scrap of power I had and shaped it into a barrier. It was a thin creation that hugged my skin, but It would hold.

"W-Why would I?"

The tangled mass of chaotic energy, space, and god knows what else recoiled at my words. Was... was I somehow hurting it with my powers? How? The barrier was only supposed to protect me.

My vision swam and then began to focus. I started to unwind the wild storm in front of me.

"I-I guess you really wouldn't know. We've never met, after all."

There was something pink and... soft inside the mess of concepts and ideas. What was it? No, wait, now that I was looking at it, something felt familiar.

"You... do I know you?"

"Not really," it said softly. The chaos was starting to take shape, folding into textures that I could perceive. "I've only recently arrived."

Why wasn't it attacking me? It had more than a dozen chances, yet it stood by... maybe it wasn't hostile, to begin with? Was I just misunderstanding all of this?

"..."

"In that case, I'm asking again- what the hell are you?"

It finally started to look like something recognizable. It was pink and around the size of a small dog. It had arms, legs, and a dress? No, that was part of its body. Two pupilless eyes stared back at me, framed on a pink head that looked like a flower petal. It was flying on green, leafy wings, though they didn't look to be moving. Was it keeping itself aloft with pure psychic energy?

"I don't have a name, but I guess you can say I was born when you made the contract."

It answered softly. The small fairy or whatever the hell it was, hovered closer. I contemplated just reaching out and crushing it like a bug. But, no, it really hadn't done anything aside from scaring the shit out of me.

"What contract? I didn't sign anything with you."

Was it the monk? I swear to god, if that bastard put this thing inside me, I'd kick his ass so hard he'd be eating my toenails for breakfast.

"Not me. You made a contract with the other half that made me," the fairy said casually. "I'm one part you and one part her."

Other half? What the hell-

...

"Benitsubasa?" I whispered. No. It couldn't be, right?

"Yeah," the fairy nodded. "The two of you are linked and your psychic energies mingled." It continued. "At some point, I spontaneously gained consciousness inside your head."

"Are you trying to take over my body?"

"What? No! It's not like I can exist outside of your mind. If I tried doing that, your ego would probably snuff me out like a candle."

...

Now, how much of that can I actually trust? The fairy wasn't lying about its origin. I could feel a sort of mixture of mine and Benitsubasa's psychic auras coming off this thing. It was something new but the signs were there.

"Ok... so you're not the ominous aura the monk felt?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but maybe? I'm technically not part of you."

Hmm, that still left a few questions.

"How do you know so much? If you've only been alive for a few days, how come you can hold a conversation and stuff?"

"I borrowed a bit of your knowledge, along with the other half of the contract."

"Wait, does that mean you can read my mind?"

The fairy shook its head.

"No. If I tried that, it'd be like If I was a drop of water jumping into the bottom of an ocean. As I said, I'd be washed away and lose myself."

"Alright..."

This was definitely one of the weirdest things I'd seen. It was just behind getting powers and appearing in this world.

"Is there anything else in here that I should know about? Any other psychic babies or whatever?"

The fairy hovered motionlessly.

"I don't think so. You could go look, but you're the only thing I can feel that's out of place."

It's not like I can feel anything else either. So far, it looks like it's telling the truth. Which means I should probably get the hell out. Though... do I really want to leave this thing just walking around freely?