34 CHAPTER 34

JIN

The next day I woke up at  the sound of heavy rain, drops of water bumping into the window. I let out a sight, remembering that it meant the summer was ending, I didn't want to go, not yet.

I stand in front of the window, Y/n's blinds were down. Was she still sleeping? I grabbed my phone from the night stand, it was only  7.21 am. Would be better to start my day or went back to sleep? Before I could think twice my stomach made sounds, making me realise I was hungry.

I ate French toasts and orange juice, before going back upstairs to get ready for the day, but not after making breakfast for the other members. I knew they would be hungry when they woke up.

I took a long warm shower and got dressed before going outside, grabbing an umbrella, it was still raining. I looked at my neighbour's house, thinking if I should go there or just go back home. It was already 9.00 am, would she be awake? I figured out she wouldn't and turned myself around, I looked like a fool, but suddenly a voice caught my attention.

"Good morning, Seokjin. What are you doing here?" It was Y/n's mother. 

She told me she was going to the supermarket to buy some vegetables and medicine, it seemed like Y/n wasn't feeling okay. Was she sick? She smiled kindly, before saying that it was nothing to worry about, I'm sure she noticed how worried I was. I asked if I could see her (Even though I thought to do it before anyway), she nodded, but warned me that maybe she was sleeping, she didn't sleep too much that night. 

A few minutes later I made my way to the living room, I saw her sleeping on the sofa, a soft blanket over her. I sat in the other sofa, trying not to wake her up, but of course I failed.

"Mom, are you here already? Why you came so quickly?" Her eyes were still closed. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"I'm not your mom." She sat on the sofa quickly, putting her hair besides her ears. She looked at me as if I was a ghost.

"I met your mother outside, she said it was okay for me to come here..." I said, scratching the back of my neck. She didn't say anything. I took that moment to look better at her, it was the first time I saw her after I realised my feelings for her. She was beautiful, even with a sleepy face and dark circles under her eyes.

"Jin?" She said, raising her voice. I came back from my trance, was she talking to me all this time? "Are you even listening?

"Sorry.... What were you saying?" I smiled sweetly.

"I asked what are you doing here." She said with a straight face. Was she mad at me? Well, of course she was. I messed up really badly by ignoring her and all the situation with Samantha.

"I was worried about you." I felt stupid, I had a lot of things to say, but I ended up only saying that. "Your mom said you weren't sleeping well." I tried to give her a comfortable smile.

"No, not really." She put her hands on her face.

"Are you okay?" 

At first I doubted, but then I let myself put my hands on hers, putting it away from her face. I took a few seconds to analyse her face, her eyes were puffy, but not only a sleepy one, the same red we all have when we cry. As a self-reflection, I kissed her eyes, she closing them at my action.

"I know you are not okay and I'm so sorry." I looked at her, "You can talk to me if you want." She let go of my grab, I didn't notice I was holding her hands since that moment. Something in the air changed.

"Talk to you? To you?" She almost yelled. "You've been ignoring me for weeks Seokjin, being with the boys or Samantha." She mocked her name. I knew what was she talking about, and I knew why she was jealous, but my face at that moment didn't show it, still shocked about her words. I didn't see that coming, even though if you think about it is not that strange. "You knew I was hurting, you knew I wanted to talk to you. Why?" She screamed.

"Y/n I'm sorry-" I tried to say.

"Sorry?! If you were sorry you wouldn't have done it in the first place!" She cried. "Why did you do it?"

"I thought it was okay at the moment-" 

"How would be okay to ignore your friend in a blink of an eye? In less than 24 hours you changed everything, why? I thought we were okay-" She paused, her eyes looking at the floor instead of me. Was she remembering something? She breathed a few times before saying what really killed me that day.  "I correct myself- You were okay. You really don't know or are you playing dumb?" She said, her voice was trembling. She said the same words, the same way, the same crying., just like the first time. It felt like a deja vú.

I stand up. "Yes- I mean, no. I wasn't playing dumb back then, now a little bit- I thought it was the best for you and now I realised I was wrong, I didn't know what was the best for you, but I think I do now." 

She titled her head. A few tears streaming down her face. "What are you talking about?" I sat again, this time beside her. "That night, after the party, we were in Taehyung's room. You drank too much and started talking about your feelings-"

"What feelings?"

"You said you weren't okay, to be honest," I laughed, a sad one, though. "You said the same words you said now." She looked completely clueless. "'You really don't know or are you playing dumb?' You said this, before saying 'I love you', that for your looks I understood that it wasn't a friendly one and then asked me to let you alone."

"I- I did- I said- what?" She looked at the ground, her eyebrows frowned. I could imagine how she felt, it hadn't been easy for me neither.