7 I think I'm pregnant
(Rina's point of view... )
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At 9:00 in the evening, I ascended to my room after finishing dinner and tending to other household chores.
Holding a glass filled with wine, I sipped its sweet nectar slowly while lost in contemplation.
Now, I find myself standing on the balcony of my room, gazing up at the luminous night sky.
On that particular night, its beauty was spellbinding, with the moon and stars gleaming brightly, leaving me utterly captivated.
My mind wandered, recalling a time when things were different between Erwin and me.
We were once close friends who often indulged in stargazing, venturing out to admire the night's beauty.
However, much has changed between us. Our friendship has disintegrated, replaced by a rift that seems irreparable.
In the tranquil night, my contemplation was abruptly interrupted by the sound of my cell phone ringing—a sign that someone was trying to reach me.
"Ringgggg, Ringggggg."
A smile crept onto my face as I saw the caller's identity.
In the dimly lit room, bathed in the eerie glow of my phone screen, the voice on the other end crackled with a sense of urgency.
Hey, bitch! What's up?" was the greeting on the other end.
I retorted, "Bitch, how's everything going?"
"What made you call earlier? I'm sorry..I didn't notice your call because I was busy." She inquired.
"Just wondering if you've been still alive," I replied.
"Of course, I'm still alive!" she exclaimed, her words dripping with enthusiasm.
"There are so many things left to accomplish in my life, including giving your ex-friend Helena a piece of my mind. My gosh, just thinking about her makes my blood boil!" Her statement was nothing short of dramatic.
The voice on the other end of the call belonged to Denise.
It had only been a few hours since I'd dialed her number, but I knew she'd return my call.
Since earlier, my cellphone hadn't left my side, as I anticipated her call.
I couldn't help but chuckle at her words. Denise had harbored disdain for Helena for quite some time, so her resentment wasn't unexpected.
She often criticized me for being too naïve, continually spending time with Helena, even though Denise believed Helena put on a facade whenever she was around me.
Naturally, I often laughed it off well aware of Denise's candid nature.
So, I permitted her to vent her frustrations about Helena, even though Helena, too, didn't particularly fancy Denise because of her confrontational demeanor.
Initially, I had attempted to mend their relationship, but they didn't click, so I left them to their devices.
Individually, they both treated me well, except when the three of us were together.
However, I now found myself realizing that Denise might have been right all along.
Since Erwin and Helena became an item, Helena's behavior towards me had indeed shifted.
Hidden animosities had surfaced, resulting in our parting of ways and the dissolution of our friendship.
"Hey, bitch, are you still there?" she inquired.
"I haven't finished talking yet!"
"So, I've got a lot to say, especially about your unattractive husband. Please tell him to bump into a mirror and wake up." Frustration simmered in her voice, a reflection of my feelings towards Victor, who had become a distant and indifferent presence in my life.
Despite the bitterness, a sardonic chuckle escaped my lips in response to her words.
"By the way," she said, transitioning to a calmer tone.
"Let's change the subject. Why did you call?"
I felt the weight of her curiosity pressing down on me.
But I, suddenly overwhelmed by emotions, found myself incapable of articulating the reason for my call.
A palpable silence enveloped the conversation, each passing second an eternity of unspoken words and unresolved feelings.
"Hey, Rina, are you still awake?" It was as though it sensed the heavy burden that had settled upon me.
"Denise, I think I'm pregnant," I finally confessed, the words escaping with the weight of my uncertainty.
"Wait!!! What?" Its incredulity resonated through the line.
"Are you pregnant?" Her disbelief mirrored my inner turmoil.
"Um, I-I'm still not sure," I stammered.
"That's why I'm contacting you, to make sure."
The truth was, I hadn't taken a pregnancy test yet, fearing the confirmation of what had been gnawing at the edges of my consciousness.
"Wait, so you haven't taken a pregnancy test yet?" It sought clarity amid our shared anxiety.
"Yes," I admitted, my voice quivering with the admission of my fear.
"Okay, so, calm down, okay? It might not be the case," it reassured me, but I could hear the tremor of panic in her voice. It was as if my uncertainty had infected her as well.
"Go to my clinic tomorrow, okay?" It was a lifeline, a glimmer of hope in the storm that had engulfed me.
"Damn it," I overheard her mutter.
"Victor knows how to make someone pregnant, but he doesn't know how to love!" The bitterness in her voice was a reflection of my disappointment in my husband, who had become a stranger in our own home.
"Anyway," she continued, shifting gears with a touch of irritation.
"Have you told your jerk of a husband yet?" Her question was laced with judgment, echoing with doubts about Victor.
"Not yet..." I confessed,
"And I'm still not sure. I just have a feeling that I might be pregnant." The uncertainty in my voice hung between us like an unspoken verdict.
"You shouldn't tell him while he's still with his shrimp of a girlfriend," she cautioned, her tone filled with exasperation at the tangled web of our lives.
"Seriously, Rina," she continued, relentless in her candor.
"What did you ever see in that man?" Her words, though harsh, echoed the questions that had plagued me for far too long.
I remained silent, unable to find an answer, as she continued to pour out her frustrations about my husband, laying bare the depths of my disillusionment.
"Hello, Rina! Are you still there?" she called out to me, a lifeline in a sea of uncertainty and regret.
The conversation had taken a profound turn, opening up a Pandora's box of emotions that neither of us was fully prepared to confront.
"Uhm," was all I could muster.
"By the way, staying up late isn't good for pregnant women. So, if you happen to be pregnant, get some rest, and we can talk tomorrow," she advised before ending the call.
After Denise's call, a profound silence enveloped me. I stared at the wine I had been sipping, recalling Denise's warning about avoiding alcoholic drinks during pregnancy.
I promptly set the glass aside.
I stood there, gazing into the abyss, contemplating the possibility of carrying Victor's child.
I couldn't help but caress my abdomen gently, even though I hadn't yet felt any changes.
If I were indeed pregnant, I didn't know what steps to take, particularly since Victor didn't love me, and our relationship hung in uncertainty.
Thus, I hoped that if I were pregnant, he would learn to love me, if not for my sake, then for the future of our child.
Raising a child as a single parent is challenging, and I didn't want our child to grow up with only one parent.
