Chapter 7: Returning home 1

I wasn't aware when I had truly fallen asleep, before I was suddenly being shaken awake by a flight attendant.

"Mr Yong-Smith, the plane had landed, you need you on-board now."

Startled, I jolted up in my seat, looking around in a daze and realizing I was the only one left. "Oh, we've landed already?" I repeated, my voice coming out a bit groggy.

"Yes! Sir, you had been sleeping, so peacefully we had let you rest until the last minute" she informed me.

"Ah, thank you" I said, a little embarrassed, hurrying to collect my belongings when I remembered. "Oh, what happened to that gentleman and his baby? Did he get on okay, he was struggling a bit before we boarded"? I asked, feeling sorry I had fallen into such a deep sleep and had not been of any assistance, like I had promised.

The attendant looked upon me with a complicated expression before answering.

"Oh, that gentlemen …. He didn't need any help; he took care of his baby very well. In fact, we had offered to help him, but he refused, stating he didn't want strangers touching his child. If I am honest" she paused and checked if anyone was listening before continuing. "I was happy he rejected our offer, he had such an intimidating and cold aura. And when he looked at me, it felt like he could see into my soul….. oh! He was scary" she confessed, boldly, her expression tensed as she recollected their interaction.

Bewildered and wondered if he had allowed me to hold the child because I was a man, for he had been cold to the female at the airport lounge. Maybe he was cheated on by his wife, and she gave up her their child to him the moment he was born. Now because of this, he resents all women. But regardless the case, it has nothing to do with me.

"Hmm I see" I replied, gathering the last of my belongings, when I came across a small gift bag left on my tray table. Thinking it to be a souvenir from the airline, I took it along with me.

"Thank you for your patience, I have everything now" I informed her, making my way down the aisle when she called out to me.

"Sir don't forget to replace your mask on your face, COVID-19 restrictions are still quite rigorous here" she reminded me.

Surprised, I replaced the mask over my mouth and nose, wondering when I had removed it in the first place, "oh, thanks" I answered. " Had I taken it off in my sleep" I muttered to myself. I had made sure to cover my face when I had gone over to that gentleman and his kid. And seeing that I didn't like the aeroplanes air conditioning, I kept it on before I had fallen asleep. So, it should have still been on my face, but I guessed I really removed it while I slept.

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It was already 1am when I landed in Incheon International Airport, and all around the terminal were signs related to COVID-19k, with scarcely number of people travelling. After collecting my luggage from departures and going through their rigorous screening at customs, I was finally set free. During this time, I had been hoping to come across that person again, wanting to put my mind at ease. As I approached the terminal's exit, did I locate him, this tall figure towering over everyone, with an intimidating aura surrounding him and a small child tucked neatly away in his car seat? The scene couldn't have looked any more odd, yet I couldn't help but smile a little, my uneasiness departing.

Not long after, the two were surrounded by a group of men, all dressed in neatly fitted suits and carrying the same intimidating presence. From the way they freighted over him and the child, they couldn't scream suspiciously loud enough.

"I guess I was right, he's that type of man" I muttered, to be instantly startled when our eyes met as he was about to get into the car.

For a minute, he gazed at me in such a way this I felt naked, I had never had someone look at me in such a way before. Embarrassed, I turned away from him, this strange feeling building up inside me again.

By the time I had returned my gaze they were gone and, for an unknown reason, I felt uncomfortable knowing that this would be the last moment I will ever see them again.

Gritting my teeth, I mumbled, "TSK! What is this annoying feeling?"

Pushing down such stupidity to the furthest reaches of my mind, I went about locating the driver, my brother had arranged for me.

I hadn't had to wait long until I was greeted by a professionally dressed and polite Ahjussi**.

"How long have you been away from home?" he immediately asked me the moment we set off.

"Erm….. Not long, fifteen years?" I replied, feeling that I really hadn't been away that long.

Surprised, I saw his eyes widen in the rare view mirror, "wow, that quite sometime, you must have been quite young when you left. Nonetheless, am sure you're happy to be back home" he smiled.

"No, not really" I immediately replied, catching a glimpse of his surprised expression in the mirror.

It was clear my words aren't often what he would hear, most people, when returning home, would be filled with excitement. I was filled with both, one I was happy in having to see my brother and father again and on the other hand displeased I had to journey to the lands where I had hoped to never return.

After a short pause, the Ahjussi continued, probably needed the to form his next words. "Well, I am sure once you're settled, you'll change your mind, after all, home is where the heart is".

"Yah I guess" my eyes fixed on the scenery beyond my car window, nothing much had changed and am sure the same went for its people. For a moment, the images of those people flashed through my mind, I was sure to come across them eventually, I only hope it is later rather than sooner.

I knew they would not recognize after all these years but, nonetheless, I felt nervous at such a thought. If I were to maintain my secret, I needed to get my act together and not fall apart if we are to cross paths. As long as I didn't make it obvious in my actions, I should be fine. My mind became consumed with a million thoughts and memories, including that of a person I had long pushed to the furthest reaches of my mind, Eun Yi-Jun.

The memory of him startled me, for I had not thought of him of in so long, that I could barely recall his features in my memory. Furthermore, the only memory I recall of him is of when we were age ten.

It had taken me some time to stop blaming him for those people's actions, telling myself for years that it was his fault I had come to such a demise. Ah! How childish of me back then, placing the blame on another child, who had no control over the reaction of grown adults.

However, at the time in my immaturity, this was the only thing I could do to relieve myself from the emotional pain I was in.

This was another hurdle I had to overcome years later, accepting my part in the incident, and holding those people responsible for abandoning their child. It's funny I had not thought of him all the while before my return, but now that am here all thoughts and memories appear to be flooding back. At our current age and considering the Korean culture, he should be married by now and had a family. Long forgetting what had happened when we were children. A bittersweet smile lightly graced my face as I scoffed at how I have crippled my chances at finding a partner, out of fear of discovering my true self, whilst others get to live happily. "There truly is no justice in this world" I muttered to myself, feeling ashamed at my own stupidity.

Ahjussi** is a Korean term used to address older males.