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Pokemon: Jordinio Version

A Pokemon Self Insert story. So there I was enjoying myself at a bar about to try my luck at picking up a pretty girl and then bam! I'm on Route 1, short as shit and somehow twelve again. Oh well, at the very least I can get that Charizard I always dreamed of. https://www.patreon.com/0Jordinio0 -Feel free to support me on Patreon.

0_Jordinio_0 · Anime & Comics
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161 Chs

Chapter 108

'Shut up, my Wartortle could totally crush that pansy looking Blastoise!'

Gary's reply minutes after I messaged him, was predictably funny. He didn't really seem to have a response to finding that many of the Squirtle line.

Of course, he probably wasn't wrong about that either. That Wartortle was a monster after all, a pay to win super beast trained for months by Gary before he even started his journey and then roided up on dozens of TM's the day they set out on their journey together in full.

As a Squirtle it probably gained the strength of a gym level pokemon from TM's alone, not taking into account the months of training prior to starting out. And then it evolved and the power gained through all those TM's was multiplied.

I wanna power level a pokemon like that one day.

I think the best bet to do it with though is a newly hatched pokemon. So I'll hold of until I get my hands on an egg.

My phone buzzed again as I received another text.

'And stay away from my sister, you walking talking jail bait, no clapping of cheeks allowed, I mean it! I'm on to you!'

Heh.

I'm tempted to reply….but no, I won't.

I'll let the lack of it work for me, his imagination twisting in all sorts of ways. The emotional damage will be all of his own making.

Besides, I don't really know what Daisy looks like. I only ever saw a proper image of her in the Electric Tales of Pikachu, but that wasn't really much to go on considering Ash was pretty much a bishounen in it and Misty had black hair and her outfit was even skimpier.

Like seriously, her crop top was so short a gust of wind would be enough to give everyone a free show. Not sure what version I prefer to be honest.

Which reminds me, I should get in contact with her soon and figure out how that Riolu situation went.

….That Ash, such a lucky bastard.

Protagonist chosen one luck is something else. Arceus, share the love you lama bastard!

Also, I owe Misty a Squirtle.

Well, I don't really, but I said I'll get her one, so I will.

Actually, that last Wartortle standing when I caught them all, was a female and pretty strong, maybe I should-

Hmm?

I blinked.

I'd been just idly angling my head and taking in the sights as Pidgeot flew through the air towards Grandpa Canyon. We're over a small forest right now, and I'm sure…some of the trees just moved?

"What the hell?" I uttered, brows furrowing.

No, actually, looking a bit closer, it isn't quite trees, but looks like long, large leaves all swaying about.

But it isn't even that windy today?

It's actually pretty hot now that I think about it.

I got Pidgeot's attention and directed him down a bit so we could get a closer look.

Moments later, we descended a good fifty feet and my eyes widened as I got a good and proper look at what I first thought were trees.

"They're all fucking Exeggutor?" I gaped.

Yep, literally just a massive group of Exeggutor all standing in the middle of the forest. And not only that…but they were fucking huge.

No wonder I mistook them for trees, every single one of them had to be over ten feet tall, what the fuck?

'No wait!' realisation struck then as I remembered.

A few episodes before Ash, Misty and Brock arrived at Grandpa Canyon, they stopped by a small local town, where a circus was held and in a nearby small forest…..there were tons of Exeggutor.

Yeah, that was the episode with that putz Melvin the magician guy. I remember his name specifically because whenever I heard the name Melvin, I thought of him and that it was a name that fit a wimpy pathetic nerd.

Honestly, I feel kind of sorry for anyone named Melvin, he totally tainted the name and I associate him with it.

Sorry to all the Melvin's out there, but that's just how it is buddy ol' pals.

"Why the fuck are they so big though?" I couldn't help but wonder aloud. Like, Exeggutor are pretty big in general, on average like a foot taller than a typical grown man.

But not this fucking big.

Pidgeot shrugged his wings, jostling me a bit, but levelling out easily enough a moment later. He didn't care at all.

I rolled my eyes, but put him out of mind for the moment as I thought back. Was there something in the episode that explained why they were so big?

Charmander evolved in the episode, into Charmeleon. I actually did a bit of research on the episode myself at one point to see if in game terms that were more common in the early anime could explain why Charmeleon stopped listening to Ash.

Like, I remembered Charmander learned Flamethrower at level thirty eight in the generation one games, and the episode Ash caught it in, Charmander knew it. And there wasn't a Flamethrower TM at that point. Charmander battled quite a bit, so had to be at least level forty by time this episode came around.

I counted a total of thirty five Exeggutors in the episode, though looking these ones over right now, I only see thirty four.

Though that lines up because one of them ended up being Melvin's after his Exeggcute evolved.

Charmander beat a third of them first, then all thirty five next. So roughly forty six Exeggutor that I averaged at level twenty eight from the games. And Charmander belonged to another trainer first, so traded experience would be applicable.

In the end I debunked it because Charmander would have only gotten to around level fifty, but Ash already had both Koga and Sabrina's badges at the time, six in total, so that wouldn't have fit.

It was an interesting tidbit though that Ash's Charmander would have been at least level fifty as soon as it evolved, no wonder Charizard was such a powerhouse, it was halfway to max level before it even hit the Charmeleon stage.

Wait!

Now that I think about it.

When Melvin's Exeggcute evolved into Exeggutor, it wasn't exposed to a leaf stone at all.

'In fact, now that I think about it, how the fuck are there so many pokemon that needed a leaf stone to evolve in the wild and all gathered up in such a small forest together?' I thought.

Something isn't adding up here.

Or rather…is it adding up perfectly?

Leaf stones have to come from somewhere after all. And I know from researching, that there are natural deposits of them that are mined up.

'Is there a quarry of leaf stones underground?' I wondered.

And I suppose, if a pokemon that evolved from a leaf stone was exposed to a ton of energy from leaf stones, they may actually just get stronger and bigger over passively over time depending on how long they were there for.

Wait!

'I averaged the levels of the Exeggutor to twenty eight from the games, but what if these ones are much higher level than that?

After all, Charmander wasn't putting many of them down in one hit with flamethrower. A Charmander with flamethrower could easily one hit an Exeggutor even five levels below it I think.

If say the Exeggutor were all like level forty to forty five, then the experience Charmander would have gotten, would have been doubled.

And put Charmander closer to level sixty than fifty, and typically Sabrina's badge was the seventh which let up to level seventy obey even traded, but if it was the seventh badge alone that gave that….then that explained pretty well why Charmeleon originally stopped listening to Ash in game terms.

Course that's long since debunked at that time and it was just an arrogance problem, but it's nice to see an old theory even work out a tiny bit.

Even if the anime had long since left general game logic behind come the end of Johto.

Hmmm.

I stared down at the gathered Exeggutor going about their business non the wiser.

I nodded.

"Mine now." I grinned. I will loot this forest.

Root and stem.

They're all stupidly big overgrown Exeggutor, meaning, rarer than your typical Exeggutor.

I like rare things.

Pidgeot cocked his head hearing my words and my grin widened, "Take us down and take them out, hit every single one of them with your Wing Attack," I ordered the huge bird pokemon, "When you get down low, I'll jump off, then you charge them all with quick attack and then take them all down."

Pidgeot perked up, the boredom leaving him at my orders.

"Pidgeo!" he chirped excitedly and rapidly descended.

Pidgeot brought us down to the forest floor, a little bit away from the Exeggutor so they didn't see him coming.

I quickly unfasted my straps securing me to the saddle before jumped off, and Pidgeot gave me a grin through his huge beak, before taking off, not wasting any time.

White light exploded from around his form and he flapped his wings, which began glowing with a similar white light and he took off.

I stumbled back as a shock wave of wind buffet me from the sheer force and speed he took off at.

He was so fast, it was like blink or you miss it.

He was upon the crowd of Exeggutor before I even began pulling my backpack off my shoulders.

A second later, multiple Exeggutor were sent flying into the air as Pidgeot slammed his wings into them.

And kept on going.

He was like a fucking monster truck just mowing right through them, they really had no time to brace themselves.

Pidgeot came out of the other side of the ground as easily a dozen of them hit the ground, groaning in pain or just knocked out already.

You always took more damage from a hit you weren't expecting after all.

And then he flapped his wings, whipped around and exploded back into the ground, propelled forward by white energy and wings glowing with power.

Those poor poor Exeggutor didn't stand a chance.

What kind of villain would do such a thing?

Oh wait.

I grinned.

This guy!

______________________________________

Ten minutes later, I held two pokeballs in my hands. The only two out of thirty four of my newest captures that hadn't been transported to the Viridian Pokemon Centre. Pidgeot at my side, proudly preening, feathered chest puffed out.

"This could be a problem." I mused.

I was leaving my two other party slots open for Aerodactyl so it didn't get sent straight to the Viridian City Pokemon Centre as well.

Wait.

I'm dumb.

Super dumb.

'Well I never said I was a super genius villain I suppose.' I blinked.

There's a function in the Pokedex to send pokemon to the registered Pokemon Centre.

How did I forget about that?

God my memory is trash.

I'll still need to be careful though and not catch Aerodactyl unless I have the slots open, so if I catch two of the other fossil pokemon, I better send them off as well.

Wait.

"That reminds me…." I trailed off.

How the fuck does my phone have this function? Like, connecting to a database and profile kind of thing is one thing, but literal transporting or teleporting solid matter is another thing entirely.

My head hurts just thinking about it.

Honestly, who actually sent me here? If it was Arceus, couldn't he have given me a sign of it? Like put a little golden arc on my phone or something or edited it to look like him a bit, I could even call it an Arc Phone….

No…that's stupid.

And an arc like his would make it awkward to fit in my pocket and super clunky.

I put it out of mind, before opening up my pokedex app on my phone and doing as I needed, transporting both the Exeggutor in my party of twelve to Viridian City.

Smile and nod Jord, just pretend you understand all this nonsense. Fake it till you make and all that.

With that done and the pokeballs disappearing in a flash of light, I looked over the forest around me and observed it.

It's a nice place.

Too bad I'm gonna ruin it.

Or to be precise, Charmeleon and his new shiny golden dig attack are.

I rubbed my hands together, "Come to papa Jord leaf stones." I sniggered and reached for Charmeleon's pokeball.

He's gonna have a lot of work today, that's for sure.

Sorry about the long delay guys, was dealing with a ton of crap and honestly kind of just forgot to post here. Family and health issues, specifically dealing with a flu that lasted over a month.

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