4 The truth

"U- uhm you mind backing up?" I asked hoping and praying that he would back off

"Hm. Let me think about that.. Yeah I ain't backing up just yet." He said and he slowly started going forward and was less than an inch away from me face. My hands were starting to get red from his tight grip on my hands above my head. " why do you keep getting closer?" I asked as he slowly stop after his face almost touching my face

" so I can do this..." before I could ask what "This" was, he kissed me, I was trying to push him away and even though I wanted him to stop, I also wanted him to continue... I kept trying to get him to stop but he wouldn't stop kissing me and every time I tried to move away or push him, his grip on my hands would get tighter or he'd bite my lip. I tried kicking him but he bit my lip so hard that I cried out trying to tell him to stop but that only gave him the power to slide his tongue in my mouth, that was when I knew I shouldn't have kicked him. I cried because I could find it in me anymore to fight because he was too strong, tears welled in my eyes and fell down my face, he felt my tears and stopped. "What's wrong?" He asked. what's wrong...? WHATS WRONG IS THAT HE FORCED HIMSELF ON ME! She thought

"What's wrong is that you forced yourself on me!! That is what's wrong!

You - you - you- YOU MEANIE" I said. I felt so wronged, so sad that I couldn't help but cry more, I never wanted to get kissed because I always knew that nothing good ever came from love... I hated love... Love is such a horrible thing that I never wanted.

" you didn't like the kiss?" He asked looking confused. "N— No I didn't" I said feeling sad. "Why? Why didn't you like the kiss? You should be happy! You just got kissed from the greatest man alive." He said

" I never wanted to be kissed EVER, and it's not like you asked me, and your not a man your a boy, your 20 at most." I said remembering what my dad did.

" why didn't you want to be kissed ?" He asked. " I have my reasons" I said looking away, he grabbed my chin "we have time before we leave." He said "Explain" he said

I looked down at my lap not wanting to tell him. I turned my head away "no" I said but he grabbed my throat hard "I said Explain" he said again but this time sounding mad, I quickly nodded and he let go, I let of a sigh relief. "My dad and my mom always fight... he always hurts her and then he'd leave for days and come back from god knows where with gifts, and when gifts didn't work he'd hurt her until she took him back... I'd hear my mom crying at night when she thought I wasn't up but I heard her and I'd hear her crying from my dad hitting her until she would bleed... one day I asked her why she stayed with him... and she said '' because we love each other... and he does all these thing out of the name of Love.'' And at that time I thought love had to be the most scary thing in the world... that is why I never want to be kissed and that is why other than today I never will be... because I am not a fan of screaming match's nor sweeping broken glass after every conversation... because no matter what, you never knew who your letting in, you never know if they are good people or not, and you never know their true intentions..." I said trying to hold back my tears. He said nothing and kinda looked sad. I looked up and saw him, I wanted nothing but for him to leave and never come back. "we are not friends so you don't have to pity me. So just do whatever you want with me, it doesn't matter if I die or not, my life means nothing I am nothing to you and you are nothing to me, remember that and never forget it." I said trying to act strong. "Don't— Don't say your life means nothing." He said as he gripped my chin and looked at me in the eyes. "See that's where your wrong, my life does mean nothing, what was left of my family is gone. I have nothing to live for and never will have anything to live for.

I am just a random human, waiting to die" I said with a big smile on my face. "How can you just say that... that your life means nothing at all..." he said looking sad, probably not thinking I'd answer.

"Because what I said is true, so why not just do whatever you want with me, sell me, rape me, shoot me, use me as a freaking punching bag for all I care.

Because.

I.

Mean.

Nothing.

To.

You.

Or.

This.

World." I said.