1 I dont have a dada !

Yangguang dashed towards his mama as fast as his squishy little feet could carry him , on the verge of tears he tightly hugged his mother's torso , his little pink fingers turning jade white , unwilling to let go off her.

As Hongruen held her little sunshine his trembling little body froze every muscle on her face , she swiftly wrapped her arms around him , gently patting his back and giving him an affectionate kiss on his little head. She held his soft , gleaming cheeks in her palms and looked him in the eye , " My Xiao Mao , please tell mama what is wrong ? ", she wiped off the tears falling relentlessly onto his cheeks with her sleeve and patiently waited until his sobs subsided , gently patting him on the back and making him sip some water from his bottle as he began to choke .

After remaining squished within his mother's warm embrace for what seemed to be an eternity, Yangguang could feel his hiccups subside , he took on all the courage his tiny body could muster , taking in a huge breath and looking into his mother's gleaming black eyes he mustered the courage to ask , "Mama where is dada ?! Today Haomei said...", as he said so his courage seemed to falter as he lowered his head , gulping down his instinct to burst into tears ," Haomei said mama and me ; I am a liar ! I dont have a dada ! Mama...why dont I have one ? Even Ruichen has one ! And he is a naughty boy! Mama..ah..ah..ah..!", and he again descended into an uncontrollable fit of tears .

Liu Hongruen could feel her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces that pierced every inch of her chest and unbeknownst to her tears began to roll down her pink cheeks too. She patted her little boys' back , whispering to him in a voice as calm as she could muster , " It's okay my Xiao Mao , you are such a good boy , you didn't do anything wrong ! My baby is a very special baby , you know why you are special baobe ? ", As she asked this question Yangguang stared at her with his big eyes strained wide , glazed over with tears as his long eyelashes fluttered in confusion , she continued ," Mao Maoah , Haomei is made from half his mama and half his dadas' love , so is Ruichen and a lot of kids , but you are made completely from my love , mama wanted you so so much that she became very impatient just like you get at auntie Yews' for a pork bun, so mama prayed to God and mama got you ! This is God and mama's secret deal so a lot of people dont know about it , mama is sorry Yangguang , mama still doesn't have a dada for you to give you more love but because of that ...you have more of mama's love than any other child in this world ! That is why my Yangguang is special, my Yangguang is all mama's! ", and she hugged him as he giggled in her arms , smiling ear to ear .

Unlike any other day Yangguang hopped and frolicked on his way back home , excitedly telling his mother all about his day today including the incident where Hongyi shared a delicious creamy bread with him , how they went on a trip to see the autumn leaves that day which were so beautiful , he got to jump around and lie down on heaps of them for hours and hours ! As he spoke his cheeks turned pink from the cold and Hongruen teasingly pulled them like mochi , warming them with her palms .

They soon reached the basement of their apartment building and Liu Yangguang excitedly ran towards the elevator button , jumping up to press it. To his disappointment the doors didn't open, Hongruen saw the notice on the doors and picked her chubby little baby up answering his questioning eyes she said , " The lift is resting today Mao Mao , we have to climb today , let's go !", their apartment was on the fifth floor which was a blessing as carrying her baby , his bag and her bag was a lot for a frail, 29 year old woman like her who had just begun to afford enough to fill her and her son's stomach .Hongruen was huffing and puffing as she stood in front of her apartment door , Yangguang standing firmly beside her , holding onto the fabric of her pants tightly , he tried grabbing the keys , saying ,"I will open the door today mama , mama has worked hard ! ", Hongruen looked down at her little man and chuckled , even with his arms and feet stretched he could barely reach the lock that was placed unusually high and yet he was determined to look after her . She straightened her back , took a deep breath and turned the keys .

Their apartment was neither too big , nor too small for a one bedroom apartment , what had sold her on the deal was a huge balcony that was placed across the hall , illuminating the whole place . The view was breathtaking, overlooking the entire city as the building was located on a hill , far from the heart of the city but the only place with some fresh air and a lovely neighbourhood. This was an old part of the city located on the outskirts, most people here were old and employed in small shops and farms that supplied the city with its food . It seemed like an unfair deal at first with none of the advantages compared to the much much smaller apartments at the center of the city that would reduce the time to commute and was surrounded by the chains of stores and malls ; over time she recognized the freedom and warmth she felt here , there were plenty of trees, healthy fruits and vegetables fresh from the farms with seasonal foods available at cheaper rates and a warm and reliable albeit not too well to do neighbourhood that was safe for her child with many lonely old couples that loved to take care of her child and feed him fat ! The sunsets sitting in their tiny balcony as they sipped on fresh , warm and sweet cow's milk as Yangguang played with his wooden blocks that the old man Zhou had made for him out of leftover wood was everything she could hope for , she had a career and a healthy little child that was receiving so much love , it was worth the tiering ride on the metro during unearthly hours in the morning , the exhausting days at work where she barely had time to eat recently after finally being promoted to the position of regional supervisor for all the locations the chain had within the city and all the company dinners she had to attend and endure through to get to where she was .

After all the jumping, running and crying today Yanguang was utterly spent, the warm lighting of the house and the soft , warm quilt that was covering half his body as he sat in the hall with his head rested against the couch induced a drowsy spell upon him , his sigh could be heard by his mother who was busily warming some milk in the old kettle and removing the small red tin cup from the shelf above . She thought to herself that a baby ought not to sigh, scolding herself for not being attentive enough and addressing this matter before . Not many people , especially her age would have a child and raise it on their own without a father figure , although there was no such person and no need for one in her life , her child was being bullied for his absence regardless. She vowed to find a solution soon and turned up the heat ,swiftly removing a fat , juicy and warm pork bun and placing it on a saucer as she knew her child would soon be off to his dreamworld empty stomach if she didn't hurry. She gently shook his shoulder and Xiao Mao was briefly disenchanted , rubbing his eyes slowly until the tempting smell of pork buns wafted towards his tiny white nose and his eyes widened with delight .

He excitedly sat upright and shifted towards the table where his mama had placed his favorite treat , although the bun was warm it didn't burn his little mouth and he quickly and messily guarfed down the moist , juicy bun. As a tiny burp escaped his lips he slowly drank his milk , the mirth clearly visible in his crinkling eyes that were smiling subconsciously like his mouth.

Hongruen returned to the table with a cup full of a flat white to see her little sunshine snoring sweetly under the quilt sprawled under the table , a milk moustache etched above his pink , plump lips that were curled up in the sweetest smile in the entire world . His cheeks were now warm and Hongruend gently wiped the milk and bits of the bun off his face with her hand , cleaning up the mess and laying him down gently while placing a folded up jacket under his tiny head.

The sun shone once in all its glory at dusk , the orange light penetrating the old white lace curtains and encasing the little child, the mother looking lovingly upon him and a calico lying against the child's stomach. It was a beautiful end to an exhausting day where Yangguang and his mother had matured slightly more than yesterday and grown stronger and braver against a world pointing fingers at them .