Ch 0: Regrets of Living a Perfect Life (Short Introduction)

I was sitting on my bed feeling weak in my old body. I was holding a picture of my late husband and running my fingers over the features of his face while a tear was running down my wrinkled cheek.

'Oh, they finally get there, 3, 2, 1, perfect'

He opened the door to my room and my eldest son, Sam, entered. He saw my tears while I was holding the picture, so he sighed sadly and moved towards me. He took the picture from my hand and placed it next to the bed and made me lie gently on my back.

"Mom, please rest, let us take you back to the hospital, at least you will be under the doctor's supervision." His tears began to fall as he sat next to me.

I smiled weakly and extended my hand to wipe his tears and said, "I want to die in our house. Your father was a good man, and he deserves that his wife die in his house and on his bed."

'I am really a virtuous wife, this is perfect'

He held my hand as he kissed it, "Don't say that, Mom, you'll be fine."

I turned to the door and saw my second son and daughter, they were standing respectfully waiting for my time with their older brother (I raised them well).

I smiled tenderly at them and said, "Come, my dear ones, come, Theo, come, Maria."

My daughter rushed crying to the other side of the bed and grabbed my hand as she placed it on her forehead, "Mom, please stay with us....we need you, I need you, for me, don't leave me."

"Oh, my sweet Maria," I said to her, smiling through my tears, "how I wish I could stay by your side, but that's life and parting is part of it. You have to support each other after I'm gone. Rely on each other."

'Perfect line before death'

The room began to get crowded after my grandchildren, my sons' wives and my daughter's husband entered.

I looked at the faces of all those I love, while a violent feeling of weakness attacked me, I started to sweat a lot and the pain invaded my body and I lost the ability to speak.

It seems that the time has come, I will die surrounded by those I love and who love me, I have planted myself deep in their hearts, this will be a perfect death (for a good girl, a good woman, a virtuous wife, a loving and caring mother and a cute and affectionate grandmother)

I sank into the pitch dark and felt my light soul floating free.

'I'm victorious, ha-ha-ha-ha, the darkness in my heart, my dirty perverted mind, I wish I was able to raise my middle finger in your faces, I have lived a righteous life against your will'

'.....But, what is this bitter feeling that permeates my soul? Is this regret? Why ? You were a good girl

Suddenly, I felt a burning sting coming from the depths of my soul.

*Aarrgg, ahhhhhh*

'It's getting worse, it's becoming unbearable, why?' Why ? I deserve peace and quiet in my death

Memories of my life began to pass in my mind. I was living my life fighting the darkness of my heart and the fantasies of my dirty and perverted mind. My religious mother raised me on good morals. I was a child obedient to her expectations. I lived a straight, carefree life, no drama, no sharp turns, a calm and peaceful life, it was.

Boring as Hell, f*ck, the only drama in my life is my husband's death 30 years ago, he got run over by a truck, it was like a vulgar joke that I struggled not to laugh at his funeral, my dirty mind never stopped imagining him cheating on me with other women in Another world, this fantasy aroused my lust and I felt itching in my vagina, it was wild and I almost justified myself having sex with other men to take revenge on him.

Ha, I wish I had done it, I wish I had betrayed my husband before his death, I wish I had rebelled and followed all my corrupt desires, this is not fair, I want to live a life that resembles a rollercoaster that I did not ride for fear of excessive enthusiasm that would have loosened my chains.

F*ck to everything, will I still be tormented by the fire of remorse forever after my death