That time I got yoinked by jump-chan.
Hurdling through and in between realities and clutching Miu to myself like a lifeline, I felt like something was wrong.
Shouldn't we be somewhere by now?
Had something gone wrong with the world jump token?
It felt like we were accelerating through realities for hours.
We even seemed to speed up.
3 subjective hours later, I was certain something had gone wrong.
It was obvious.
Connection to local multiverse cluster severed.
Shop unavailable.
Status unavailable.
Connection to Bane.CFG file on remote server has been severed.
Attempting to reconnect to the Gamer Ability local server. Failed.
Attempting to connect to the Gamer main hub. Gamer main hub router not found.
Many subjective hours passed, and at some point tears started prickling at my eyes.
Miu had fallen asleep in my arms, was this it?
Were we destined to fail?
Never to get our revenge while we flew through the void for eternity?
Just as that thought manifested, I felt an extremely powerful yanking on the back of my Gi, I heard someone say, "Yoink. ."
Why did I hear a wink and why did it taste like rainbows?
I found myself sitting in an office chair. Across from me was a woman with hair that seemed to shift color and material.
Her body seemed to wisp in between states of matter and her dress was made of what seemed like starlight and miniature galaxies.
Miu startled awake in my lap, looked at her, and then fainted.
"Oops, sorry." The woman, no? Goddess, exclaimed. I could taste and smell the guilt as she waved her hand.
The blood that started coming out of Miu's nose from simply glimpsing this being of immense power disappeared and her labored breathing evened out.
The existence in front of me smiled apologetically. "Sorry, she doesn't seem to have the power to interact with me right now without getting hurt, so she'll have to sit this discussion out."
I nodded apprehensively as miu started to make cute and quiet snoring sounds.
"Well, what I can tell you is that the token you used was made lazily. It was supposed to send you to a pre-selected location in your local multiverse cluster, but as you can see, it didn't have enough energy to get there, so instead of reaching it, you ended up hurtling through the void and accelerating faster and faster. " she paused, so it could sink in, and then she continued.
"Conceptually, you are about 41 multiverse clusters away. You'd need an old-spark to get back there, and those can only be gained by completing a jump-chain or doing something else ridiculous." for some reason she kept smiling despite our predicament.
"Luckily, I'm a certified jump-chan and I can initiate one for you." She smirked, "As long as you do a few errands in the many multiple worlds I send you to in exchange."
I frowned as I realized this being had us by the proverbial balls.
I nodded, because what else could I do?
If we didn't do this, we'd never make it back to our world, let alone get revenge on Hanma.
"Good," she said with a happy clap to punctuate it.
She pulled out multiple documents and started speaking again.
"Before I give you these jump docs to choose a world to visit from, I want to make you an offer."
She smirked as if my acceptance was guaranteed. "I like the idea of someone who can advance only through the power of martial arts. In exchange for having all choices related to magic barred from you, I will have at the end of every jump document, an option to choose to increase your martial talent, your Ki talent, and your body talent. That means increased speed of learning and enhancing of these things across all bodies and alt-forms. Oh! also, things like Nen and Curse energy do in fact count as Ki for the Ki talent." she paused for a moment and asked, "waddya say?" as if she already knew my choice.
She probably did because I just nodded.
Grinning in delight, she handed me a list of worlds and poked me. "No more curses, no more banes. I won't be having someone in my service be unable to kill when necessary or be smashed by an out of context somethingsomething because he touched something pointy and shooty!" She said, smiling at me.
I looked down at the list and was overwhelmed by the sheer number of them.
"NO! This first!" the being said, "and call me jump-chan because you'd have no way of saying or even hearing my name without dying from the backlash."
I stared at her.
She smiled at me.
I sighed a heavy sigh, and then I looked at the document she just shoved into my face.
"Body mod supplement." I muttered.
I immediately skipped over the looks, gender change, and extra limbs.
Looking over the options, I realized that I already had all this stuff as base stats, and as if reading my mind, jump-chan said. "Yeah, any augment will double your current ability in that area because as someone who is already superhuman i don't want to basically scam you what would be the point of that? Also, before you think about the question you're about to think, since your girlfriend can't choose due to being asleep, anything you pick will apply to her too."
I dump the first 200 points of 1000 into endurance, because more time being able to be awake and being able to fight longer than the opponent is vital.
Followed by Resilience as surviving is literally the first priority.
I grab maximum reflexes because training that was extremely difficult even with Akisame training me. Trying to train it in a normal environment is asking for trouble.
I had 400 points left, so I grabbed agelessness and regeneration.
With my final 200 points, I grab Waste not and survival skills along with the 100 point version of memory.
From the freebies, I grab singular form, because bothering with multiple bodies and some that will deteriorate because I'm not using them is stupid.
I grab ascension for better training and a solid foundation for the same reason.
I stare at the free shirt option. I mean it's free, so whatever. I grab that too.
Jump-chan smiles and says, "I don't like the idea of a jumper trying to hide away from the world, so if you are expecting a warehouse, I'm sorry to say you're out of luck. To make up for this, and the fact that you no longer have an inventory, I'll toss you the Jumpchain inventory bag that you'll gain 1000 cp after every world so you can upgrade it.
Not wanting to lug around an actual bag, I grab hammerspace(L) for 300 points.
Grabbing the large version is common sense because not being able to take out or put in something because it was too big is stupid. A 2 foot wide opening is good to start with.
I grab connected for 50 points because seeming like I'm pulling something from nowhere will probably scare people in certain settings. Probably most of them in fact.
I grab watertight and airtight due to not wanting water and other crap to fill my hammer space just because I have pockets. I grab the wallet modification so I can store infinite currency without taking up space
I have 400 points left so I grab sorted so I don't have to go digging and I can just immediately have what I want. With my last 200 points I actually add space to the back due to the fact it starts with literally no space.
8 cubic meters is fine, so I signed the document.
It disappears like the bodymod, and I finally have to choose a world now.
My eyes immediately darted towards the Jujutsu kaizen jump.
I glared at it with hatred.
When Gojo got trapped in that stupid prison-box thing, I should have known the story was going to shit.
But NOOO I had to keep watching.
I tortured myself by watching it.
My favorite character in the series was Nobara Kugisaki and it pissed me off to no end that that sadistic chucklefuck with a soul shredding fetish murdered her and mutilated her soul.
In fact, I bet everyone he fucked with would never be able to reincarnate.
I grit my teeth and immediately promised myself if I so much as even thought I saw him I'd fucking shred him to pieces.
I'd turn him into nothing more than paste on the ground because that motherfucker ruined a good show, now reality, just by existing.
Mahito would die screaming in pain and despair.
I picked up the document with determination and began to fill it out.