Understood

Chapter 36. Understood

SINNED drank straight from the bottled water as he was listening to Rellie talk about her past on the earpiece he's wearing. Pabagsak na binaba niya ang bote sa mesa at saka tumayo; naglakad hanggang makarating sa garahe at sumakay ng sasakyan upang magmaneho papunta sa bahay ng kaibigang si Arc. Sa ilang taong lumipas ay naging magkaibigan na sila nito kahit matagal nang nag-quit ang huli sa agency at ngayo'y may sarili nang pamilya.

Ang asawa nito ang nagbukas sa gate nang mag-doorbell siya. Naabutan niya sa sala ang lalaki na nakikipaglaro sa isang taong gulang na anak na babae. His wife carried their child so the two of them could talk. Ilang sandali pa ay naghain ang asawa nito ng juice at macaroons sa mesita. Napansin niyang pinakarga muna ng huli ang bata sa yaya.

"Let's get out of here," bulalas niya dahul hindi sila maayos na magkakausap doon.

"Nakainom ka ba?"

Hindi siya nakainom pero sa itsura siguro niyang magulo ang buhok at hindi na naayos ang gusot sa t-shirt ay mukha siyang lasing. Pero hindi siya sumagot at lumabas na ng bahay. Laging hindi niya matagalan ang paglalagi roon lalo pa't bumabalik sa isip niya ang ginawa kay Rellie noong tumira ang huli roon. Bagama't malaki na ang pagbabago ng bahay mula nang ma-renovate ay parang nakikita pa rin niya ang dating pwesto niyon sa tuwing bumibisita siya sa kaibigan.

Ilang sandali pa ay nakasunod na si Arc sa kaniya, mukhang nagpaalam muna ito sa asawa bago lumabas. Minaneho nito ang sariling sasakyan at sinundan siya. Tumawag ito habang nasa daan sila.

"Where the heck are we going, Ash? Bonding time namin ng pamilya ko ngayon."

"To my house," tipid na sagot niya at bago pinatay na ang tawag para makapag-focus sa pagmamaneho ay madilim niyang tinuran ang mga katagang, "I need a good beating from you. I deserve that."

Pagkababa nila ng kanya-kaniyang sasakyan ay tinanong kaagad siya nito, "Anong pinagsasabi mo?" Ni hindi na maayos ang pagkaka-park nito sa sasakyan nito pagkarating nila sa mansiyon.

"Sapakin mo ako, Arc. Ginago ko ang kapatid mo."

His friend's brows furrowed while he guiltily stared at him.

"Narinig mo ba ang sinabi ko? Ginago ko ang kapatid mo noon."

Imbis na mairita ay bununtonghininga ito. "I know you're still grieving from your lost even though it's been months already, but I suggest that you see a—"

"Fuck it! Just punch me! I was that bastard who impregnated Rellie!"

Ang nag-aalala nitong tingin ay unti-unting binalot ng dilim. "What did you just say?"

Sinabi niya rito ang nagawa sa kapatid nito noong mga panahong na-disgrasya ito sa misyon at nagpapagaling.

"'Tangina, pinagloloko mo ba ako?"

"I'm dead serious, man. Remember when you told me about her baby? It didn't come to my mind about that time I went to deliver some of your paintings in your house, and she was staying there..." Hindi niya itinuloy pero alam niyang nakuha na nito ang ibig niyang sabihin. With his throat feeling dry, he added, "I also didn't think that the baby was mine since I expected her to have bedded a lot of men already—"

"What do you think of my sister? A slut?! Ni hindi nga makatagal sa relasyon iyan dahil binaliw mo sa iyo!"

Napapikit siya nang mariin. No... But he honestly thought that way before since he's trying to tarnish her dignity in his mind, so he would stop himself from fucking wanting her. All the time. Kailangan siya ni Candace pero si Rellie ang umookupa sa isipan niya.

"What else did you do to her? You better spill everything now or else..."

He sighed his defeat but before he spoke about it, he went inside his house and grabbed a bottle of brandy, two snifter, and a bucket of cube ice.

Kumalma na nang bahagya si Arc pagkapasok at umupo sa sofa; hinintay siyang maupo sa katapat na pang-isahang upuan pagkatapos niyang inilagay ang inumin at dalawang baso roon.

While drinking, he confessed everything. Kitang-kita niya kung paanong nanggalaiti si Arc pero pinigilan ang sarili. Pulang-pula na ang mukha nito, nakakuyom ang kamo at nagsilabasan na ang mga ugat sa noo, leeg, at kamao.

"Kill me now. I wronged Rellie... Sinira ko ang buhay niya."

"Sira ang buhay niya?" He laughed without humor. "Baka ikaw ang nasira ang buhay? Why aren't you accepting any cases anymore? Why are you drowning yourself in missions? Damn, Ash, the last time you went in France to fucking investigate about de L'Orage, you almost died."

Walang emosyong tumingin siya sa mukha nito at pagkuwa'y uminom. Ang tinutukoy nito ay ang organized crime na matagal na nilang minamanmanan. Doon kabilang ang napabagsak nilang sindikato, ang Phantom Syndicate.

Arc went on, "Is it because of your family? You badly want to follow them? Do you really think she'd be happy if you torture yourself?"

He clenched his jaw. Why are they talking about Candace now?

"Buhay ka pa, may magagawa ka pa para patuloy na mamuhay. Pero ang mag-ina mo, wala na. Don't waste their sacrifices, Ash. You should be living your life meaningfully now," the latter exhorted.

He perfectly knew he was grieving since he lost his wife and their unborn child when Candace caught the bullet that was for him, but when he saw Rellie, he felt even more miserable because of his realizations.

That's why he hired Arturo Altaraza to investigate about her. Since he was not under Phoenix Agency, he initially assumed it was safer to hire him. Iniutos niyang alamin nito ang lahat ng nangyari sa babae dahil hindi niya iyon magagawa sa Phoenix. Magdududa ang mga kasamahan niya kung bakit siya nag-iimbestiga tungkol kay Rellie Prietto.

Ang totoo ay hindi niya alam ang eksaktong sagot doon nang sabihan niya si Art na lapitan si Rellie nang pareho silang nasa isang kasal. Pero habang tinititigan niya ito ay napagtanto niya kung bakit.

That when he saw her again after everything, he felt as if his heart resumed beating. Isang bagay na hindi niya maramdaman kay Candace sa tagal na may naramdaman siya sa kababata.

"Bakit mo pina-i-imbestigahan si Rellie?" seryosong tanong ni Arc na nagpabalik sa atensiyon niya rito. Maang na napatingin siya rito. "Did you seriously think I wouldn't notice? I even cornered Altaraza and forced him to tell me who hired him but he fucking kept his mouth shut. Said I should mind my own goddamn business."

Hindi siya kumibo.

"But now that I see you act like this, I already know it's you." Uminom muna ito ng brandy. "Are you planning on making my sister as your rebound again?" mapanganib na tanong nito.

"She was never a rebound."

"Eh, ano? Bakit ngayong biyudo ka na ay saka mo naisip na pa-imbestigahan si Rellie? 'Tangina mo. Hindi na ako mananahimik ngayon."

Nangunot ang noo niya sa huling pangungusap nito.

"Akala mo ba, hindi ko alam ang tungkol sa kontrata ninyo? I had Dice hacked into my sister's computer and we checked through her emails back then. You, sonofabitch! You corrupted my innocent sister's mind!"

Nagtagis ang bagang niya dahil aminado siyang gago siya noon. He took advantage of Rellie knowing that the latter was so curious about worldy things, and he wanted to give there the best experience himself so she would not look for some other guy. "I was a selfish jerk."

"Yes, you are. And now, do you plan to repeat the history?"

Fucking no.

But Arc took his silence as a yes. So he vehemently said, "Then, leave my sister alone. She barely survived the pain you inflicted to her; healed from the wounds you left her. So, don't think about bothering her anymore. Live your fucking life or kill yourself if that's what you want to. Just. Leave. Her. Alone." Sa galit nito ay namutla na ang kamao nitong nakahawak sa baso dahil sa higpit ng pagkakahawak nito roon.

Tumayo ito at ininom ang natitirang brandy sa basong hawak nito bago iyon inilapag sa mesita. Pagkuwa'y walang salitang lumipad ang kamao nito, kahit napansin niya na kaagad iyon ay hindi siya umiwas at tinanggap ang malakas na suntok nito sa gilid ng mukha niya. Pakiramdam niya ay nabingi siya sa lakas ng pagkakasapak nito.

"That's for Rellie."

Then, he walked to go closer to him, and yet, he didn't even flinch when threw another punch that caused the side of his mouth bled. He just guiltily accepted his punches. Kulang pa nga ang mga iyon.

"Para sa pamangkin ko iyan."

Afterwards, Arc fixed the hem of his shirt and passed by him. He immediately grabbed his forearm without looking at him. "Tapos ka na no'n?" nanghahamong tanong niya. Kahit patayin siya nito ngayon ay hindi siya kakasa, kung iyon ang magiging kabayaran sa mga pasakit na nagawa niya kay Rellie.

Marahas itong nagmura at napigtas ang pasensiya nang muli siyang sinuntok nang higit na malakas kaysa sa mga nauna. Ngayon ay natumba na siya sa sahig at mabilis na lumuhod ito para suntukin pa siya lalo.

He received every punches as if those woke him up from his right senses.

Now he understood why he felt hollow all these years. On why Candace always failed on making him see himself as a loving husband; a loving dad. He only saw he'd be with her for life. But he got it now: The missing piece was now filling in the hollow portion of his heart. On how did Rellie, even after all these years, make him feel alive just by staring at her beautiful face and listening to her soft laughters from afar.

Arc halted from throwing punches on him, and then, he sat on the floor; glaring at him. Damn, those blue eyes of his, they reminded him of Rellie's...

"Get up. I'll bring you to Phoenix so they can tend your wounds." Bumaling siya rito at pagkuwa'y tumitug sa kisame. Sa paraan ng pananakit ng buong mukha niya ngayon ay alam niyang napuruhan siya at magang-maga na ang ilang parte. "Get up," ulit nito.

But instead of getting up, he only rested his left forearm on his forehead as he stared into nothingness. Then, with heavy breathing, he uttered, "I'm in love with her, Arc. I love your sister..."

RAMDAM ni Rellie na natigilan si Arturo at pagkuwa'y ginagap muli ang palad niya saka bahagyang pinisil nang mamuo ang luha sa kaniyang mga mata.

Bumuntonghininga siya at tinanggal ang pagkakahawak nito sa kaniya para makababa ng sasakyan. Bumaba rin kaagad ito at kinuha ang payong sa may backseat para mapayungan siya. Bitbit din nito ang cardigan na nahulog sa sahig ng sasakyan at ipinatong sa balikat niya iyon.

"You had a child?" maingat na tanong nito. "Can you tell me what happened to you? But it's alright if you're not yet ready."

He asked the question correctly. Mukhang nakuha na nito ang dahilan kung bakit nasa sementeryo sila ngayon. Dahil nandoon ang mga labi ng kaniyang anak.

Heart-wrenching, she told him the story where she got pregnant by a stranger when she went back to the Philippines for a vacation three years ago.

"Is it a one night stand?"

"N-no. I mean, kind of," nahihiyang amin niya. "He's a delivery guy..."

Pagkagulat ang naging ekspresyon ni Art. Napansin niyang may inayos ito sa tainga; mukhang may tumatawag at ni-reject nito iyon nang pindutin ang bluetooth earphone na nakasalpak pa pala sa kaliwang tainga nito. Then, he added, "Go on, I'm listening."

She cleared her throat. "I didn't know he got me pregnant, and I was starving myself that time since I want to drown myself from working and painting. I neglected my health without knowing that m-my baby..." her voice cracked. "...my baby badly needed me. I was already feeling that there's something wrong with me, but all I thought was that's just some mild sickness."

Ang akala lang niya ay may hindi malalang sakit lang iyon. Kadalasan ay hindi rin siya dinaratnan ng buwanang dalawa ng dalawa—minsan nga'y umaaboy ng tatlong buwan—pero noong mga panahong iyon ay umabot ng four months at inakala niyang normal na sa kaniya iyon dahil iregular naman na noon pa ang monthly period niya.

Pero nanakit nang husto ang tiyan at puson niya isang araw habang nasa ramp siya, at nang isugod siya sa ospital ay huli na ang lahat. Hindi lang pala simpleng pananakit ng puson iyon.

Nasa Canada na siya nang mangyari ang trahedya at naitago naman ng kumpanya ang nangyari sa kaniya. Subali't hindi tulad noon na sa kaniya ang focus ay humanap na ng bagong modelo ang mga ito kahit pa nga siya ang naging brand ambassador sa Vancouver branch. And she completely understood that. 

Ngunit napakasakit pa rin pala talaga kahit sabihin niyang naghilom na ang sugat niya. Habambuhay na niyang dadalhin sa konsensiya niya ang sakit at pagsisisi na hindi niya naalagaan ang sarili. Na huli na ang lahat noong malaman niyang buntis siya.

Humihikbi siya nang marinig niyang humingi ng tawad si Art sa kaniya. Sininok siya at mabilis na pinatahan ang sarili. Nagtatakang nag-angat siya ng tingin dito.

"I'm so sorry for your lost, Rellie. And I'm sorry because I won't court you anymore..."

Para siyang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Though, she was used to people who judged her, she still got dismayed because of his sudden decision. She honestly thought he's a good man.

"Don't get me wrong, Rellie, you are a beautiful woman; strong inside and out. It's just that..." He removed his earpiece and thrown it just in front of him. He stepped on it as if it was a pest. "...I didn't really have the plan to court you. I only want to be friends with you. But you see, I got hired by my client to investigate about you."

Parang nayanig ang utak niya sa nalaman. "Anong investigate? Are you an officer? Sangkot ba ako sa isang krimen?"

"I'm sorry..."

"So, that is why you're apologizing, huh? Because you can't tell me more about it?" She guessed it was confidential. "Pero buhay ko 'to. Wala kayong karapatang panghimasukan ito! Wala naman kayong mapipiga sa akin. I live a dignified life, Art. I've never done drugs or any other crime. I didn't even have any parking tickets at all! Ni jaywalking, wala!"

He tried to calm her down as he kept on apologizing. "It's not about that..."

Nagtagis ang bagang niya.

"In exchange, I'm going to tell you a secret."

Mas lalong nangunot ang kaniyang noo.

"Your brother. Ask your brother. He was one of a heck investigator from Phoenix Agency."

"Ano bang pinagsasabi mo?!"

In a calm manner, he managed to get her back inside his raptor, and he explained everything thoroughly. Parang nakalutang ang ulo niya sa mga rebelasyon tungkol sa kuya niya.

"My brother was a secret agent?"

Tumango ito bilang kompirmasyon. The way he looked at her was telling her he was affirmative.

"How did you know? Did you hire him?"

Ngumisi lang ito at hindi sumagot.

"H-how about Ate Hyra? Does she know about it?"

"Ate? Aren't you older than your sister-in-law?"

"Don't mind about it. Nasanay lang ako dahil in-assume ko na baby faced lang siya. So, what? Does she know about this?"

He just shrugged. Mukhang hindi ito sigurado o ayaw na lang magpatuloy pa sa pagsasalita.

"Can you drive me to my brother's house?"

He started the car engine and before he held the steering wheel, he sincerely apologized once again for fooling her.

NANG magmulat si Sinned ay hindi pamilyar sa kaniya kung nasaan siya. Pero nang maalala ang mga nangyari ay bumalikwas siya ng bangon. Kaagad na ininda niya ang namamagang mukha pero nang makarinig ng sigawan ay pinilit niyang tumayo.

"What have you done, Kuya?!"

Nangunot ang noo niya nang makilala ang pamilyar na boses na iyon ng babae. Anong ginagawa nito sa Phoenix? Then, it hit him. Hindi siya sa Phoenix dinala ni Arc nang mawalan siya ng malay kanina, kundi sa bahay nito.

"Darling, ipasyal mo muna si Cyan, isama mo si Yaya Nora," ang boses ni Arc iyon na mukhang kinausap ang asawa.

Sumilip siya sa bahagyang nakaawang na pinto at kitang-kita niyang namumula sa galit si Rellie.

Anong nangyari?

"Bakit hindi mo pa aminin? Are you planning to kill him that's why you brought him here?"

Kill? Who?

"Aurelia, ganiyan ba ang tingin mo sa akin?" madilim na tanong ni Arc.

"Hindi! Pero ngayong nalaman ko kung ano ka noon, hindi ko maiwasang mapaisip! Bakit? Nag-imbestiga ka ba at nalaman mo ang namagitan sa amin ni Sinned dati? Malamang galit na galit ka ngayon, pero para ano pa? Kasal na iyong tao at b-baka nga masaya na sa pamilya; at n-nakapag-move on naman na ako..." Humina ang boses nito sa huling pangungusap. At nagpatuloy," Kaya hayaan mo na lang siya, huh?" bahagyang gumaralgal ang tinig ni Rellie at pinagsusuntok ang braso ng kuya nito.

Arc just sighed heavily as he was accepting his sister's punches. "Fucking get out now, I know you're listening."

Nagtagis ang bagang niya nang marinig si Arc. Alam niyang para sa kaniya ang pangungusap na iyon. Matinik pa rin talaga ito at kaagad na napansing kanina pa siya nagkamalay.