Calm and Conflicted

The next morning, getting to school, I had a smile. It was a smile knowing I would see my two friends and also the thought of riding the bus with Michael- if he took the same bus with me. I wasn't confident about it, and eventually, when the bus was about to pull off, no one stopped it and I rode in a seat by myself. I looked at the school first as I approached, only to be screaming the next moment. Launching in front of me like two bulldozers were Mika and Juno, surprising me with their loud yells, waking me from my reverie of a quiet mind. They jumped from either side of the gates, and instinctively I screamed and fall backwards, groaning as I fell butt first. Oh God, why so early?

"What are you doing right now?" said a laughing voice. It was the naughty Mika. She donned her neatly pressed school outfit, and her shoes were shiny as they were quiet. Her hair is neatly on her head, but of course, her smile is just breathtakingly infectious. I couldn't help but smile, too.

"I am not doing much, but you sure scared me to bits!" I screamed out of my mind. I clutched my hand over my chest as my poor heart palpitated wildly.

"Well, we are not sorry," said Juno, smiling widely. He looked carefree with his windswept hair, which looked so shiny, too. He offered a hand, which I slapped away.

"You should be. I am hurt, you know." I grimaced as I got off the floor by myself.

"I noticed. How did you get hurt? Did you not get home well yesterday?" Asked Mika, who looked worried.

"About that, I had an accident after I bid you guys. I went up to the art room, and I fell on some paintbrushes." I said as reasonably as possible. If they thought I was lying, they had good faces to not show it.

"What a little klutz," Juno finally said, nudging me. I grimaced again, and this time, he frowned. With another look at me, he turned away to look to the left.

"Yesterday you were running from girls, Juno. Don't be an ass now." Retorted Mika as he nudged her now. She scrunched her eyebrows and frowned at him as well.

"Don't say that too loud. They might hear you. I am scared going to the bathroom." He said, looking around to see if anyone was around.

"Is it getting so bad already?" I asked, wondering if he was exaggerating. I looked around too, hardly seeing anyone outside.

"You do not know. If I wasn't so tactical to run away each time they hoarded me, I would have been swamped by now." He said as though he accomplished a huge task in a matter of good timing.

"Well, you need a solution to your little problem."

"I have one, but that is my very last resort. I am not telling you, though." He said as he looked over sneakily at Mika.

I have been watching him carefully and saw what he did. Something is going on between these two.

"Why not? That is… oh no, I think I got it. Now that I know, I am not telling you. I am 100% sure that I am right, though."

"I 100% doubt that." He countered almost angrily.

"Lucy, tell me what happened to your hand. Juno, if you can't behave, I have a whistle on me." Mika said, hitting him on the arm.

"Mika, would you dare when I know things about you too?" Juno said slyly. This time, her face was red, and her lips pursed on her tiny face. She looked like an angry pixie.

"I don't give a rat's behind. You can do what you like." She turned away angrily from Juno, and he frowned deeply.

"School is about to begin. Should we meet at the break room or our usual under the tree?" This time, Mika turned to me and grabbed my hand in hers, walking away from Juno.

I wonder what is up with those two. They were not like this, or maybe they were only playing cat and mouse. I have been getting the vibes they more than enjoy one another's company. Perhaps something messed up along the way.

We sat down for a bit where we would usually sit down, and she sighed. It seems something was eating her up inside, and I intend to help her fix it.

"Hey Mika, is everything okay with you and Juno?"

"Yes, all is well." She said in a high-pitched voice. "I just wish he would notice me more than a friend. Somehow, I am not good enough for him." She said softer now, hiding her face in her hair.

"It feels like that sometimes, but if I have seen this right, he feels for you too." I comforted her with a pat on her hand. I noticed she and I are in this situation a lot.

"You only know me one day. I think he likes you." She tried to push off any comfort she was feeling. She was just being negative.

"Now you're judging me. I wouldn't like him, though. I am not fond of guys who pick on me." I said, pulling back and turning away from her.

"Hey!" she cried out, clearly interested. "Sorry. Now, will you tell me about your hand? Your dressing looks neat."

"I know. I wore gloves, and wrap them in plastic when taking a bath." I said, looking at the hand. Not only that, but I haven't unwrapped the dressing, too scared I might not get it the way it was.

"Who did it for you?" She said, carefully putting my hands in hers.

"I met someone yesterday, and he helped me out," I said, looking at the hand more interested in it than what I said. Oh, how wrong I was.

"Oh, a boy! Who is this mysterious man that you're trying so hard to hide your emotions with?" She said in a teasing, happy voice.

"I am not sure. He is mysterious for sure. Handsome even looks like a god. He is a little older, but I am only assuming." I just had to admit how handsome he looked.

"That sounds rather interesting. You must let me see him. I need to know if he is right for you."

"You're in for a surprise. He told me he works in export and my father knows him. They were already setting wedding plans." I said, shaking my head at the thought that they wanted to send me off with a stranger. The level of disrespect these parents have!

"You're kidding! He must be dreamy then. He is good with your father and met your parents. You must really like this guy." She concluded, as she had the wheels in her head working like wildfire.

"Absolutely not! I only met him yesterday. He recently moved here. He is just alone." I told her to let her knock off her dreaming.

"Even better. You know that no woman has found him to be of interest, so you get first to pick. How great is that?" She tried her persuasion techniques. I hate to admit it, but it was putting me at ease.

"I believe it is more complicated than that." I tried to deter her one last time. We were at the battles to the end.

"How so?" she asked with keener interest. She was moving closer to not miss a word that I would say.

"I was swimming in noon yesterday, and I ended up drowning a little. He had to resuscitate me."

"You've got to be joking with me!" She exclaimed and then covered her mouth quickly after.

"Could you be any louder?" I hissed at her, quite surprised.

I knew this would have happened! She was freaking out, and for God knows why. Even I could see the heart in her eyes.

"Why are you giving me that look?"

"You kissed a random guy. Doesn't that bother you?"

"I can't say that it does. It saved my life, a kiss of life. I would have to be out of my mind to not accept that. What should I have done, punched him away when I was dying?"

"When you put it like that, I sound foolish!" She said a little testily and folded her arms childishly.

"You know it! Enough about me. We need to get back to class, and you need to patch things up with Juno before it gets worse. I can't have my two friends fight over something infinitesimal."

"Wow, look at you with all your big words. Now, who's showing off?"

I sighed and then we both laughed at one another after.

After that, she finally gave in. Taking a deep breath and strapping her bag close to her, she got up. She had a rueful smile on her face, but she knew very well how right I was.

"I need to go to him, and we need to get to class. I can't say I won't see you; I would find you, friend Lucy. See you when I can." She said, shrugging and then heading off to find Juno. At least it is what I was hoping for.

I sat there for another minute, thinking about them both, and I smiled. Realising I was alone, I exhaled deeply. My shoulders slumped, my mind running with a dozen thoughts at once and overall, I still felt sad. It was a normal thing for me. Maybe I was depressed, said a little voice inside my head. Even my little spunk of madness seems to dull as each day flutters by. I missed my creativity, and it's wonders it provided for me.

What happened to the joyful me? When will you return? I am deeply conflicted with myself.