Chapter 7: Acknowledgement

"Ughh" I let out a groan as the light beamed into my eyes.

I felt a familiar pushing down on my shoulders causing me to look up.

'Guess it wasn't a dream..'

"Hey Ciel…"

"..."

'As cold as usual.'

I looked around and saw the interior of my study.

"You can let go of my sho-"

[Boy it hasn't even been a full day and you're in the same situation again.]

"Guess I didn't just pass out?"

[No…you didn't, otherwise we wouldn't be here.]

"Why…" I heard Ciel ask.

"...It wasn't on purpose I just pushed myself more than I thought I would."

"Why?"

"I don't know Ciel…I really don't. I never pushed myself this far befo-"

'That's a lie…'

Memories of the things I did to fit in after I was diagnosed flashed through my memories. Though I stopped trying after a year since I lost all hope at that point.

"...Okay."

"Now my question. Why do you care?"

"..Similar."

"Hm?"

"We are similar. We both hide behind a mask."

"..."

I knew what she meant I couldn't act like I didn't. I did hide behind a mask, a mask of coldness acting like I found people a bother, but that was just my way of avoiding the truth. I was scared…of what they'd say, of how they'd feel, and the looks in their eyes. So I kept myself in a bubble…to protect myself.

I grabbed Ciel's hands, taking them off my shoulders and pressing them down on the sofa's armrest. I let go of her hands after doing so and then stood up to look at her eye to eye.

'Poor girl…'

I couldn't understand her pain. All I could do was acknowledge it. That's all we can all do. People feel differently about different things so all we can do is acknowledge their emotions, acknowledge them as a person. Nothing more nothing less…Especially her, after all she was left all alone in this world with a grumpy old spirit and a rapier.

Looking at them closer her eyes don't resemble ice but rather…a fireless wick. A candle that lost its flame… She might've gained a fear of losing others…and that fear isolated her, making her feel alone without anybody that understood her pain. Even I didn't…all I could understand was the loneliness that came with pain.

I rubbed her head and looked at her with a smile.

"Don't worry I don't intend on dropping dead anytime soon. Plus I trust that you'll save me if I get close."

Her eyes widened in response to my words.

"...Thank you." She said with her head looking down.

[Hands off barbarian!]

I immediately took my hand off of her head.

"Sorry."

She tilted her head.

"Why are you apologising?"

'This girl…'

"Nevermind. Where's my mother?"

"She disappeared…"

'Oh no…'

I immediately called my father.

"Son…" I heard my fathers dejected voice.

"Father, how's mother doing?!"

"...Not good. She's locking herself in our room blaming herself."

I looked at Ciel again asking her, "How long ago did she walk away?"

"5 hours?"

'Crap…she's been like that for 5 hours…'

I ran to my elevator with Ciel following behind me.

"Ro top floor."

"Understood."

As soon as the elevator doors opened I rushed to where I saw my father standing by a door.

"Is the door locked?"

"Yes." My father responded.

"...Ciel."

Ciel immediately froze the door's hinges and with a single press on the door it came down.

However, she didn't walk through but rather looked at me, as did my father.

I walked in and looked around the room.

The lights were off, the blinds were closed, and there she was sitting on a chair looking at a blank wall.

I walked over step by step.

"Stay away…" I heard her say.

"It isn't your fau-''

"Yes…yes it is."

"No it isn-"

"If I didn't go for your head you wouldn't have been that close to death. If I hadn't pushed you so hard you would've had the energy to remain conscious. If I refused you outright the rest wouldn't have even been a discussion."

"..."

"How…how could I have done that to my own son?!" She stood up pushing the chair away as she turned to me.

"..."

She was crying…her eyes were as red as blood and there were scratch marks all over her face.

'Has she been grating her own face?'

My own mother had been hurting herself…

I walked over to her even as she yelled at me to not and then stood before her so she could look me in the eye.

I then hugged her with tears dripping down my cheek like waterfalls.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry that I made you do that." My voice was cracking and my hold on my mother was tighter than it's ever been.

'How could I have been so foolish..'

I didn't even think about what she had gone through…not for a moment. I had only thought about myself getting stronger without considering her emotions. She already lost a father in a war and probably a lot of friends on the way. Yet I made her fight against her own son.

I looked at her after wiping away my tears with my own sleeve and then smiled.

I wiped away her tears with both of my thumbs and held her face.

"Don't blame yourself mother. You only did what your son asked of you..From now on I won't ever ask you for such a thing again."

I put my forehead against hers and kept my smile.

My mothers eyes widened as she paused.

"..."

We stood there in silence for god knows how long. I waited until she passed out and then put her on the bed and called out to my father.

"Father…"

My father put his hand on my head messing up my hair a bit.

"It's alright Asher…you're our son. Us shedding tears for you is normal. We feel your sadness and your pain…please don't forget that. I won't tell you to quit being a Viator agent, nor will I take back my choice to train you. But please Asher…stay safe."

I looked at the ground thinking back about the last 24 hours, about how much had changed, and about my actions. I had treated my life like a game without considering their emotions.

I balled up my fist digging my nails into my palm.

'How much of a dumbass can I be…'

My father picked up my hands with his own gigantic ones.

"You and your mother have the same habit." He'd smile.

"Is that so…"

"Ashe-"

"Father…I don't intend to quit but…I need to get stronger. So please…teach me everything I need to know. As much as I hate having to bother you…I need you dad."

His eyes widened.

'How much of a douchebag was I?…'

Never had I called them mum or dad after I was diagnosed. I had resented them…blaming them for the way I was born. I didn't for a second contemplate how they felt about their own son's suffering.

"...Of course, son." He ran his hand through my hair one more time. "I have to tend to your mother so why don't you and your friend go to your study before Lior gets back from daycare."

"Alright…let's go." I looked at Ciel who was silently looking at the ground.

She nodded before following me to the elevator.

We walked into my study onto the sofas where we sat opposite each other.

I clasped my hands together and put them on my legs as I looked at the ground.

"..."

"..." Silence filled the room, not even the wind made a sound.

However, not long after the ruffling of papers could be heard.

I looked at Ciel who was taking some papers out of a bag.

'She had a bag?'

"I had Vincent bring it."

"Oh." I replied dryly, still feeling like I was drowning in sadness.

She laid the papers in front of me.

"Hm?"

"Our deal." She looked at me dead in the eye.

"..."

I let out a laughter that was uncharacteristically loud for me.

I looked at her with a smile, "Don't I didn't forget. So what subject?"

"Maths" she replied.

"You're lucky I'm rather good at that." I smiled, feeling the tension slowly disappearing.

"Good now, help." She said pointing at a specific question.

"Ah that's pretty easy all you have to do is…"

From 16:00 to 20:00 we talked about maths until she started getting the hang of it. And during that time I occasionally asked her questions about spirits and whatnot.

I leaned against the sofa contemplating everything that's happened in the last day.

"..."

"I'm hungry." I heard a now familiar voice call out.

"Hi hungry I'm- nevermind. What do you want?"

"Meat."

"...Pause…also I think I know a decent dish."

I walked to the elevator which she followed.

"Ro take us to the dining area."

We already had a kitchen and a table on the top floor but we decided it would also be nice to have a larger one for if we ever have a meal with another family or something.

The elevator doors opened revealing a room with a large round table that had 12 seats.

'A round table…'

My thoughts flashed back to the conversation with Olivine.

"Where's the food?" the girl next to me asked.

"I have to make it." I responded

I pointed to the wall opposite of us with a door which led to the kitchen.

"You can cook?" she doubted.

"Somewhat."

She nodded and crossed her arms.

I walked into the kitchen with Ciel following behind.

'...how consistent.'

"You don't have to follow."

"I want to."

'Does this girl plan on taking lines from cheesy novels or does she do it naturally?'

I sighed, ''alright.''

I washed my hands and looked around me at the spacious kitchen.

"You can just stay right there and watch." I used my chin to point in a direction.

She ignored what I said and just sat on the counter top.

'Doesn't matter anyways it's pretty spacious.'

I put gloves on and started cooking.

First, I patted a few chicken breasts dry before seasoning them with salt. I then heated some oil in a skillet until it was glimmering. The skillet was big enough to fit all four breasts at once so I placed them down gently, waiting no less or more than a few minutes, waiting until it was golden brown until I flipped them to the next side.

I moved the chicken breasts to a separate plate glancing at Ciel who was staring at them. I took a piece off with a fork and pointed it towards her. She leaned in towards the fork wrapping her hand around mine and placing the chicken in her mouth.

'You could've just grabbed the fork…'

[agreed.]

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." I replied with a smile hiding my inner thoughts. 'Somebody's gotta teach this girl social etiquette before some poor dude gets the wrong idea.'

In the same skillet I put the chicken on I put a few cloves of garlic until the scent filled the kitchen. I then added some more ingredients like heavy cream,chicken stock, chicken bouillon and cheese. I put in some sun dried tomatoes. Then seasoned it with italian herb blend, pepper and some red pepper flakes and a little salt.

I returned the chicken back onto the skillet after lowering the temp to a simmer. Following the chicken I lowered the heat again cooking it until the chicken reached the desired temperature then cooked it for a bit more.

"Ciel, could you open the cupboard over there and get a serving dish?"

She nodded before tossing over a decently big plate which I caught.

"Careful, they're fragile."

She simply nodded again.

I moved the chicken onto a plate before topping it with basil, pepper flakes and cheese.

"Alright now follow me to the table."

She followed as I held the plate in one hand, opening the door with the other.

I placed the dish in the centre of the table.

I could've bought two more dishes for us both but we could just eat off of the serving dish to be honest.

I pulled out a chair for her and then one for myself next to it.

I handed her a fork.

She took the fork and immediately began eating.

After she swallowed the first bite she looked at me with a brow raised.

"I'm just not hungry, you can enjoy yourself."

She looked hesitant before taking a piece of chicken on her fork and pointing it at me.

"Eat."

"..."

'What the fuck..'

I looked into her eyes, seeing an unfamiliar emotion at least from her. Empathy.

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle of defeat.

'She's better at reading the room than I thought.'

The reason I didn't wanna eat wasn't because of a lack of hunger, in fact

I was starving. Rather…I didn't want to. I couldn't eat after seeing my mother like that. When I saw the food all I could think was 'is she eating?' , 'is she alright?'.

Even with those reasons…I didn't want to refuse the girl in front of me, the girl who seemed to open up to me. Her eyes looked dead into mine, slowly growing impatient.

My lips parted to reply but as soon as they did she shoved the fork in.

My eyes widened as I stared at her in disbelief.

She pulled the fork back leaving the chicken in my mouth.

I chewed on it letting the flavours in.

"I ate it. Happy?"

She nodded before continuing to eat on her own.

I didn't eat anymore and just looked at my journal contemplating my plan

'I still need to learn how to fight..'

I turned my head to talk to Ciel who was at my side.

"Ciel, are you done eating?"

"Mhm."

"Random favour but…could you teach me to use a sword?"

'Learning to use a sword is better than nothing..'

"Okay."

"Thank you."

She responded with a nod again.

Her left eyelid twitched a little.

"Raftiel is being an ass isn't he?"

"Mhm.."

I let out a sigh and grabbed her hand.

[NO NO NO NO NO!]

'Stop acting like a child, you're probably like ten times our age.'

[What do you mean?! And get your hand off of her!]

"..."

Genuine fear…I could hear genuine fear from him right now.

'I'm not gonna hurt her.'

[Lies!]

"..."

I didn't consider him either, He was with Ciel since birth, her sorrow, her pain, her isolation he felt. Every negative thought and emotion festering within Ciel he felt. Yet, when Ciel needed somebody to be there he was probably the only one who could be there.

'It's alright…you can't be the only one there for her forever.'

[I have to be!]

'You two have gone through enough. It's time for both of you to get some rest. She can feel it too I'm certain.'

[...She's been through so much.]

'I know…I know. But so have you Raftiel, you can't shoulder her burdens when you're struggling to shoulder your own. Let me help both of you.'

[For a barbarian you have a way with words…]

'I see myself as more of a bard.'

[Alright then bard…I'll trust you.]

'Thank you.'

I could feel Ciel's hand shaking within the grasp of my own. I strengthened my grip a little bit.

'My voice probably won't reach her…'

[use mana on the ring.]

'How…'

[imagine a cool sensation flowing from your heart to your ring.]

I closed my eyes and imagined a stream of cool glowing green energy flowing through my body with the beat of my heart. I then focused the flow to the ring.

'Its alright Ciel.'

{Stop yelling…stop}

'Her voice…'

Rather than the voice I'm used to I heard a childlike voice gasping for air in between words as if crying.

'It's alright Ciel…'

Having no clue what to do in the situation I just replicated what I've seen in books and movies and pulled her in for a hug.

{Mum…dad…} She repeated that a few times before slowly passing out.

Author: Sorry for the short chapter I got a lot of projects of stuff due I gotta do. This chapter has a lot of emotion in it which might be hard to process all at once but I promise each character displayed here will get there own time this is just as the chapter title says acknowledging their emotional states. I also wanted to show the protagonists emotional side as well since I don't want him to only be cold and calculative he's a coddled teenager after all.

Side Note: The dish that Asher made is called "Marry Me chicken" which adds a bit more to the scene in my opinion

P.S. uploading this while in class