Frankly speaking every character in this novel is beyond stupid. The Mc specifically feels like an AI programmed to speak the cringiest/edgiest words you can possibly think of. He goes around chasing the female lead calling her the 'goddess' and how 'lucky' of a man he is to be able to stare at her beautiful jade-like face, and why you might ask? Because the author thought it's a great idea to turn him into a retard at the excuse of "fulfilling his role as an extra" and honestly it was barely readable at that point. I'm a little bit disappointed because I held too much expectations for this novel
I'll keep it short, after going through 40 chapters, I still no nothing about our Mc, not in the sense of his family and friends, but why he thinks how he thinks, why does his morals A B C, why is this his train of thought, who is he really, and this is problematic because then it has no essence, the mc has no character. This novel can still be saved however, but before you can build the world, I suggest you a singular person, our main character, for if the lens are dull, then the picture will so as well.
I would rate this story higher but there are a couple problems. The writing quality is a bit bad and would improve A lot by only putting it through a grammer checker. Another major problem is that it is almost a carbon copy of the Authers POV with some differences. It currently only has 30 chapters but i hope as the story goes on you make it more unique.
i can barely get past the cringe of the story but then u introduce Eleonore and yup can't bear it anymore she is just to dilusional. and that is the limit of cringe i can bear... plz tell me if we have to see her more in later chapter otherwise I'm out. if you are making a blatant copy of Author pov atleast make it good
So far as of chapter 50 this is a great novel the only thing i think can ruin it is it being a harem, its fine if characters have crushes on him but if he choosese more than one imma be sad. Team Lisa >:). All that aside the thing that stood out was the main characters powers. I for one like the ice element and its not really used a lot so that makes me sad, seeing it used here is great. I enjoy the characters and enjoy how he uses his knowledge. I wish you lots of luck while writing this its a great story.
CRITICAL REVIEW For a person not having English as their 1st language, the writing is legible and can be understood. As long as you can enjoy the story, it doesn't matter. The biggest thing that holds this novel back is originality. No matter what. I cannot keep myself from comparing this to Author's POV. There are too many things similar and the novel doesn't try to be different enough to make the initial premise acceptable. That's really bad because it makes this not only appear like a cheap carbon copy but also make the novel look trash. A similar series who was also inspired by Entrail_J and "The Novels' Extra" ---"The Extra's Survival", does much better in this regard, and I was able to quickly differentiate it as its own story. Here are only SOME things I found similar. Hero hates demon Hero forced to use System ability in dire straits making him go super saiyan. Earl demon classification. Blood supremacy advocate teacher. Finding OP technique before academy - Acceptable but done very poorly. MC's teacher looking like she's giving special treatment to MC. Also similar to Donna (Teacher in Author POV) Devil contractors - Acceptable Hero's arrogant rival obsessed with x heroine Character rankings are similar. Classifications- Acceptable... What I dislike the most would the MC tech nonsense. If apps exist in the world, then why do such significant tech programs and services do not exist already? Creative content is not much is said to be mentioned? But we weren't given any world building to know this. Also what is the level of the world's technology? There's clearly phones and apps.... The company stuff is poorly executed and very rushed. Continuing on, he seems to have god-like knowledge of technology because of his SS ability. But from what the story is shown it doesn't really SEEM like it could do that. Are his memories of his alternative self so vivid and powerful that he can replicate such skills? Clearly not- Example: author talks how that computer science mc self is "far better" in maths than the current mc which is required for coding, business etc. Heck, it said early that he seemed to grasp alot of knowledge of the main plot from another world, but I barely see him preparing for the next current events of a supposed plot of a novel. Yes the storyline is messed up, but what about the big things that are coming. All we see is him training and cough business. Even if you can argue x things happen, there's clearly no planning involved. So there must be something good about the novel right? I mean its still enjoyable but when forced to compare with Author's POV... smh. Sadly, I really can't think of anything that made this novel be Unique. I did quite like the mc attempt be a crazy guy in love to follow what he did in another world in an attempt to follow the plot another world though. Ofc that wouldn't live long. Despite my harshness, I hope this author can do their best to make the story branch away from its inspiration. I ship Sylvia and the MC! The teacher route with the age difference is quite awkward. You could try playing around with the playboy drama to make things interesting. First Lisa, then Mia, then Sylvia! Who would win in the end?!
I made some corrections to your synopsis as I was checking some things out. Some minor grammatical errors, I think only five words were changed or so. A person's perspective plays a vital role in developing their personality. What happens when you realize the world you live in is the same as a novel. Zero Elea gets a skill called "Parallel Memory" which allows him to get the memories of his alternative self in a different universe. He realizes that the world he lives in is similar to the novel he used to read in an alternative world. The world will face catastrophe in the future but there is no need to worry as there's a main character working hard to save the world. And, what about me? I am but a mob character.
It is your first writing so it can be understandable but why are you forcing scenarios? I know that your novel is inspired by another but blatantly copying the plotline of another? The immaturity of the MC is quite annoying you know. if you want him to be lovey dovey with Lisa then just make a plot that maybe it was a love at first sight instead of a dumb reason like going by the plotline in his memory. IT IS CRINGE. It needs more tweaks to be decent and plagiarism is not good alright
The novel is quite a good read. There is no problem in writing quality (98% times there is no mistake. Story Development and world background is also intersecting and logical. As for updates author does not update them daily but on average 5 chips/week. P.S. -- It's story corresponds with Author's POV too much in the starting but it takes new turns as story progresses. I Think you should give it a read. It's one of the good novels on the website.