Drink Responsibly

The days passed by so fast. I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I get to enjoy this beautiful place. And sad because how do I say goodbye to this paradise? Dalawang araw na lang ang natitira sa bakasyon namin dito.

"This one? Or this one?" there are hundreds of good photos of me, all thanks to Mark. Not that I'm bragging but every stop was like a mini photoshoot.

Pagdating sa kaniya, si Barbara ang kumukuha ng mga larawan. Diretso kasi sa recycle bin kapag kami ni Georgina ang may hawak ng camera.

"This one" turo ni Georgina sa picture ko habang nasa ilalim ng dagat. I can't believe the girl in the photo is me. Hindi ko kasi alam na kinukuhanan pala ako.

The black bikini was showing my curves and those long, sexy legs. My hair doesn't look so wild in the water, dancing on the beat of the waves.

"Para sa akin, iyong nagsa-sunbathing ka. You look genuinely happy there." sagot ni Barbara.

"But Joaquin is there." I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling. He was captured in the photo napping under the sun.

I'm wearing his shirt dahil baka daw ginawin pa ako. Men and their excuses.

Wala din akong balak na isauli ang damit niya. Hindi tamang bawiin ang binigay na.

"Just Joaquin? Not Kuya Joaquin?" Mark just smirked at me. I rolled my eyes at him. There's no need to pretend lalo na at kami lang namang magkakaibigan ang nandito.

"You can post it. I'm sure he won't mind." dagdag ni Barbara. I can see her eyes twinkling mischievously.

The maid brought us some snacks and refreshments habang nagpapahinga. We were busy exploring these last few days kaya naman naisipan naming magpamassage sa araw na ito.

My friends wanted to go clubbing. They say there are cooler clubs here compared to our hometown. But since we have my kuyas here, hindi ito posible. Alam din ni Georgina kung gaano kaistrikto ang mga kapatid ko. We need to loosen up, this is what she always tell me.

Inabot sa akin ni Mark ang cellphone ko. Tinignan ko kung sino ang tumatawag at sinagot ito. See? Kakaisip ko pa lang sa kaniya.

"Yes kuya?"

"Hi Lil. What do you want? We're at the local market." Joaquin. I want kuya Joaquin.

"Bakit hindi mo sinabi? Sumama sana kami." I whined.

"You guys were busy sulking." biro niya.

"We want to have some fun."

"You can't go clubbing now Lil. Kami ang malalagot kay dad." I pouted a little. Totoo naman kasi. I'll just wait till I turn 18.

"I want kinilaw na bangus mamaya." matagal na din simula noong huli kong makain ito. Sinadya ko talaga dahil alam kong specialty ito ni Joaquin.

"What about your friends?"

"Alcohol" sagot ni Georgina. Kuya just laughed then ended the call. Ang lakas talaga ng loob niya.

Sa may dalampasigan kami kumain ng gabing iyon. We have grilled fish, meat and the very special kilawin. Kulang na lang mag-uwi pa ako nito.

Can I do that? Magrequest kaya ako na gumawa pa siya? Pero naisip kong baka hindi pumasa sa inspection. Hindi ko kayang iwan ito doon pag nagkataon.

Joaquin took care of the campfire. Setting the mood, we're singing our hearts out while sangko is strumming the guitar. Kanya-kanyang lyrics ang bawat isa. Well, basta ba same tune ayos na.

I closed my eyes. Maybe I should sleep under the moon and stars again. Stretching my hands, I sighed. This is better than partying in a club.

"Mark" tawag ni diko Zach.

They have their own little sanctuary, playing catch up dahil hindi naman sila madalas magkita kahit pare-parehong nag-aaral sa Manila.

Mark joined them. Kita ko ang kaba niya kapag kasama sila. They're friendly but can be intimidating some times. Naiintindihan ko naman siya.

"Here. Drink it." Joaquin gave him a can of beer. Magpoprotesta na sana ako bago napigilan ni Georgina. I squinted my eyes to warn them not to go too far.

My friend can't drink dahil mababa ang alcohol tolerance niya. Pero dahil kami-kami lang naman ang magkakasama, hinayaan ko na. We're safe here anyway.

"Let him be. We have our wine." she clinked our glasses.

I feel so relaxed. Like all my worries are being drowned by the lovely sea. Can we stay here forever?

We made smores and stuffed ourselves with it. It melts in your mouth, taking you to your childhood memories. I groaned. This is heavenly.

"Lilliana! Smile!" nagulat ako ng biglang nagflash ang camera niy. Georgina took some pictures of us. She has so many followers on her social media accounts.

Binibiro nga namin na mag-artista na. She said she can't sing, dance and act. She's like a painting meant to be admired.

May mga nag-aalok na din na kuhanin siya pero tinatanggihan niya pa sa ngayon. Her dad wants her to finish studying before doing what she wants.

"Why don't you make your account a public one?" tanong sa akin ni Barbara.

"I just want my privacy." but the truth is the Severinos hate pleasing people. We were told to just express our stand, no matter if we are admired or hated, we go by our principles.

Isa pa, hindi ko kaya ang responsibilidad ng mga public figure. They have this certain image to maintain while I want to always keep it real. What is the real me, Lilliana Esperanza.

"My followers are asking who you are. We can be models Liliana!" napatingin sila kuya ng marinig ito. I can see Joaquin's eyes observing how I'll respond to Georgina's invitation. I decided to play.

"Really? Maybe I should try it." halos masamid sila sa sinabi ko. Hindi inaasahan ang naging sagot ko. Tumatawa naman ang mga kaibigan ko.

"I thought you want to be a soldier? Just like your dad…" mahinang sabi ni Joaquin. Namula ako dahil nasa akin ang atensyon niya. Nakakakaba pero masaya. I composed myself and tried playing it cool.

"Sayang naman ang ganda niya kung hindi susubukan. It is meant to be shared." dagdag ni Barbara. I stopped her from spouting further nonsense. Tumawa lang ang bruha.

"She's the prettiest Severino, diba?" biro ni kuya. That's a fact. Ako lang naman ang babae sa ating lahat sa pamilya. Except mom.

"Still, it's an open invitation." dagdag ni Georgina.

"Sus, ayokong maglimit ng food intake." diet is not for me. I eat. A lot. Pero kahit ganoon, I have maintained my weight because I also exercise regularly.

Nagsimula ng magtawag ng kung sinu-sino si Georgina - an indication that she's drunk. Kinuha ko ang cellphone niya to stop her from doing something na alam naming pagsisisihan niya kinabukasan.

Mahirap na at baka tawagan niya pa ang dad niya ngayong lasing na.

"We'll go inside" sabi ni Barbara. She needs her beauty rest for tomorrow. Diko assisted them. Nahihirapan na kasi si Barbara na alalayan ito.

I stayed. Ayaw kong iwan si Mark sa mga kapatid ko, in case I need to intervene.

"Why are you still here?"

"Tinatanong pa ba iyon?"

"Don't you trust us? We'll take care of him."

I just ignored them, minding my own business. This is my last chance to admire the moon with the sea. Susulitin ko na.

Hindi ko namalayan ang pag-alis ni sangko. Kami na lang apat ang nandito. Tahimik lang sila habang pinagmamasdan ang dagat. Except Mark.

Mark kept humming a song I don't even know where it came from.

Then, he told the story of how he saved me from Georgina the first time we met. Napagkamalan niya kasing binubully ako nito. My lips rose ng maalala ito.

Nakita kong umeepekto na ang alak kay Mark. I stopped my kuya from giving him more. Paano na lang kung hindi siya magising bukas sa byahe? Isa pa, mahirap bumyahe ng may hangover.

"Maybe you should go inside? Pahinga ka na?" nilapitan ko na sila, nag-aalala para sa kaibigan.

He murmured incoherently. Inilapit ko ang mukha para maintindihan siya. He grabbed my face and smiled foolishly.

"Y-your eyes are… so, so light." inirapan ko siya. "and… and your lips…"

Kuya stopped his hands from touching my face. Nagulat na lang ako ng hinila ako ni Joaquin palayo sa kaibigan. His jaw is tensed. Naniningkit din ang kaniyang mga mata.

"He's drunk." he tightened his hold at me. I didn't voice out the pain, ininda ko ito.

"Alam ko" sinalubong ko ang tingin niya.

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Ipapasok ko lang siya sa loob." I can't see anything wrong with it.

"We can do it. Mauna ka na."

"No!" why should I obey every word you say? Ang mga kapatid ko lang ang susundin ko.

"Go."

"I.Said.No"

He angrily looked at me. Hindi ako nagpatalo sa kaniya. My heart beats so fast na akala ko ay sasabog na ito.

Kuya massaged his temples, sumasakit ang ulo sa inaasta naming dalawa.

"I'll do it." he said with finality then left. Dali-dali akong sumunod kay kuya but Joaquin stopped me. Tinitigan ko siya ng masama.

"Do you have any problem with me Lilliana?"

Stop calling my name!

"What are you talking about?" kinalas ko ang kamay niya para umalis na. Ayaw kong maiwang kasama siya. My resolve will crumble.

"What's the rush? Why are you escaping me?" his eyes are burning. Parang kinurot ang puso ko ng makita ang galit at lungkot sa mga ito.

Tiningala ko ang langit para kumalma. Hindi ko siya kayang titigan pa lalo na at nakainom ako. Or else I'll lose control.

"You can't talk to me because of your friend? That Mark." he gritted his teeth.

"Bakit siya nasali dito?" I snapped at him.

"He's your boyfriend, right? Pretending to be a friend para lang makasama mo siya sa bakasyon na ito." I punched him pero ako ang nasaktan sa huli.

"Is that it? You're so great at making stories. He's my boyfriend now?" hindi siya nagsalita.

"So what if he's my boyfriend? What is it to you? Tell me!" his eyes contracted, shooting daggers at me. He's mad. At me.

"Did you tell your family about him?" he said slowly, threatening me.

This? Again? I cursed him on my mind. I wiped my traitorous tears.

"Y-you have no right" I stepped closer. "to tell them. Especially something that isn't real." itinulak ko siya para makalas ang pagkakahawak sa akin.

Ilang hakbang pa lang ang nagagawa ko ng matumba sa buhanginan. I feel lost.

I acted like a child. Hugging my knees, I cried. I cried as if I'm hurt because I fell. Pero ang totoo, iniyak ko lahat ng nasa dibdib ko. I'm angry at him but I missed him. Nasasaktan ako dahil ang babaw ng tingin niya sa akin. I hate him! I hate him but I like him.

Lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako. Pinilit kong kumawala sa kaniya pero parang naubos ang lakas ko sa pag-iyak.

"I'm sorry Lilliana. Stop crying please." he kept on mumbling to calm me. Enveloped in his arms, his scent assaulted me. Para akong kandilang natutunaw. Kaunting suyo lang, bumibigay na.

Wala man lang ba akong paninindigan?