Love Like Art

Happy reading

 Love is like art.  It looks beautiful even though in reality there is a pinch of pain behind it all.

 ***

 "Sounds good," Ryo said suddenly as he walked behind me.  Slow, but still audible to the ear.  I almost choked on the water I was drinking.  He coughed a little and patted himself on the chest.  Then he looked to his left, towards the source of the voice.

 Did I hear wrong?  The fridge just complimented me?  Seriously!  Is he trying to choke me to death?

 Couldn't he come over, smile, and say to me, "Ra, you have a great voice."

 Freezer base!

The first day of practice went smoothly and was fun.  I haven't felt this kind of euphoria in a long time.  The people are also cool so I didn't have a hard time adapting.  Yes, except for the refrigerator guy, Ryo.  Compared to the others, Ryo is more reserved.  Looks serious but relaxed.  When he was gathered outside practice, I noticed he just smiled and laughed at the other's silliness.  Every now and then he would respond to the chatter of his friends, then sink back into his own preoccupation.

I don't know if it's playing with his guitar or writing something in a book.  Apart from guitarists, most of the songs in this band are his creations.  I found out about it from Sakti.

 "Sak, he's that kind of person, isn't he?"  I asked Sakti on the studio terrace at that time, pointing at someone with my chin.

 "Who? Ryo, you mean?"  Sakti, who was playing with his gadget, immediately turned to me, then looked in the direction I was referring to.

 "Yes."

 "Like how?"

 "Yeah… cool, a bit arrogant, cold like a refrigerator," I pouted.

"Hahaha, I told the person, didn't I?"  Suddenly I glared.  "How come he's a cool person. Is it just like that, indifferent and doesn't talk much. Why is that?"

"Oh, I see, it's okay, really. It's just annoying, among you, it seems like he's the only one who isn't enthusiastic about my arrival," I murmured with pursed lips.

 "Elah, you baper! Just relax. He was the one who asked me to invite you to join this band, after I showed you the video of you singing."

 "Really? So, he's seen my performance before, right?"

 "Yo."  Sakti threw peanuts in his mouth, then started to open a game application on his gadget.  Jiah, now I'm the one being bewitched!

Unknowingly my eyes turned to Ryo, and it turns out he was looking at me too with a look.  For a moment our nets met, then ended after Ryo looked away.  Instantly, there was a strange feeling that ran through this heart.

 Why is he looking at me like that?  Does he know I'm talking about him?  I'm so stupid. The sound of an incoming message notification wakes me from my daydream.  You can see Reno's name on the six-inch screen lying on the table.  I grabbed my gadget and immediately opened it, then replied to a message from Bang Reno, my husband.  He doesn't like it when I take long to reply or answer phone calls from him.  His thoughts are always different.

 "What time do you have band practice?"

 "It's over, bro. Just about to go home."

 "Well, go straight home. Don't wander! Just be careful if you are stubborn."  He added a devil emoticon to his message.

 "Yes Boss!"  This time I gave love emoticons.

 Yes, I'm always happy with that kind of attention.  I feel loved, even if it's sometimes too much.

 "Oh yeah, what time are you coming home? Let me cook and we'll have dinner together."  I sent a message again.

 "I guess I didn't have dinner at home because I was invited to a friend's farewell party, so maybe I'll be home a little late. You should eat first."

Bang Reno's reply made my mood disappear in an instant.  He's been coming home late this week.  There are reasons for him, whether it's working overtime or just hanging out with his friends.  At first I felt normal with Bang Reno's habits, but after a while I was too embarrassed.  Moreover, the more he came here as if he did not have time for me.  Monday to Friday, he spent working, not infrequently he also worked overtime.

For that I can still understand.  Although, sometimes when he gets home I'm already asleep because I waited too long for him.  In fact, I really want to have dinner with him or just chat before we fall asleep.  Share stories about what we are going through today.  Not just serving the needs in bed.  However, the most annoying thing, even on weekends he prefers to hang out with his motorcycle community.  Meanwhile, if he stays at home, he spends more time sleeping.  In fact, our communication is more often established through gadgets.  How sad!  It was as if marriage was just a status for him.

Sometimes I feel that work and friends are more important to him than his wife.  Not that I'm ungrateful, but I just want to be a little appreciated and considered there. Talking heart to heart?  It's been a lot.  Angry?  Free.  Cry?  Don't ask.

Whenever I tried to protest about his attitude and behavior, he always had a million reasons to justify what he did.  Peppered with a sweet promise that he'll turn out just the way I want him to.  However, all of this is just bullshit.  As if he had forgotten what he had said, it didn't take him long to repeat the mistake.

Once I was furious with him, instead of softening it, it made him even more inflamed and ended up in a fight between us.  When that happened, he always threatened to leave me.  Again I lost, more accurately relented and freed him.  It was futile to argue with selfish people.  It's useless to force others to change if not from their own will.

In fact, Bang Reno was often rude to me if I denied or disobeyed him.  His excessive jealousy and suspicion made him always throw baseless accusations against me.

After hurting and making me cry, he always apologized and showed remorse.  I don't know why I always have a lot of apologies in stock for him.  Then forget all the unpleasant actions.

He treats me like a living doll that can be arranged in such a way and played with as he pleases.  I'm tired, but I can't help it.  My love is too big for him.  Until I close my eyes to see the flaws.  How naive, I always hoped that one day he could change like the husband I've always wanted.  Stupid, maybe you could say I'm stupid.  Survive even though the heart continues to be pierced by pain.

 Love does sometimes make people stupid.  Love can also make bad people good, and vice versa.

 I don't even understand, can all this be called love?  All I know, love is not like this.

 Love complements each other.  Love does not restrain, but also does not neglect.  However, it was the opposite for Bang Reno.

 Continued