1 Seon-Ho

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her; it was hard to believe that she was the same girl I grew up with at all... her eyes shone brighter, her smile more genuine than I had seen in a very long time but still radiated her affection... and her figure. My god, her figure I had never taken notice of before.



It had already been a year or so since I brought Yeonie to my father's miserable house. It was an unexpected move, but I had to admit that it really wasn't a bad choice at all. And after a while, I had noticed little changes in the house; the servants were more chatty especially with Yeon around. The house seemed brighter and cleaner, the food was better much better quality, people smiled more and I didn't feel so isolated in my room anymore. I even found myself putting more thought into my outfits and my scent which I halved hoped would catch her attention sometimes. I couldn't believe the effect this once uncoordinated girl was having in this miserable place. Everyone was equal in her eyes, there were no labels or rules of people to her. She was unbelievably kind to everyone and offered to help around the house a lot as I had expected but I was still surprised at how capable she was for someone who suffered from a disease like epilepsy that was still pretty much unknown in the Korea 1300’s. The way her brother Hwi kept her locked up in the house, anyone would think she was less capable than the spoilt noblewomen they bred these days. And when I found out that she was cooking 'secretly' in the kitchen I couldn't help but sneak in a few times when she wasn't around and helped myself to a bit of her food, and it was so good I found myself rearranging the food to look like I didn't take a big chunk out of it, especially as I had always had my meals managed at certain times in specific portions. I didn't know why I couldn't tell her how much I appreciated everything she did but I just figured I could make it up to her later when I had the time to spare away from the palace. Maybe getting a new sister wasn't such a bad thing after all, even if it meant stealing her from my best friend.



But things weren’t as rosy as they seemed; I still had no choice but to betray her brother Hwi and give him a fighting chance at survival, and even worse; Yeon had lost her memories after an epileptic fit which I had inadvertently caused. In fact, I didn’t even have the time to even think about what would happen to her in short amount of time that I found out my tyrannical father had already bribed the examiner for the military test in my favour. My only thought was getting my only friend Hwi the hell away from home before my father killed him for finding out about everything at the same time as I did. As for Yeon, there was no way I was going to leave her on her own to fend for herself when she had not a penny to her name and no-one to look after her. She was a lowborn and as for me, well I was a mixed breed of both low and highborn, which immediately pulled me into my father’s world and made me seem as if I was an arrogant asshole against my mother’s background. And due to my father’s unreasonable and hypocritical hatred of lowborn, I was never allowed to approach Yeon or get too close to her, or he would kill her right in front of me because of what she was, just like he did to my mother…


But fortunately or not, Yeon had completely changed from the naive, awkward and child-like teenage girl of 16 to something more mature to say the least. And it looked like she had possessed a new iron gut that I must have missed out on for all of these years, since she never held my forced cold behaviour against me at all. In fact, every time I tried to make her feel uncomfortable and distance myself even further away from her, she just brushed off my behaviour like it was nothing to her…almost as if she could sense the bond we had since the moment we met over a decade ago, even if she couldn’t remember it. I had to admit that over the years, I had never really been left with her on my own before, in fact, I had never even been left alone with a woman at all and I had no idea how different, or even indifferent we were until I witnessed the sheer effort she would put into taking care of me as if I was her saviour in some twisted sense.

But I had always been alone and isolated from everyone else, after the death of my brother and mother, and now the loss of my best friend. Even my long awaited dream job in the palace stank of nepotism and just made me even more of an outcast than I had been since the moment of my birth. And even though I had another woman in my mind, she hated me along with everyone else. Only Yeon wasn’t afraid to interact with me, to make sure that I was taken care of for the first time and I swear that there were times I caught her outside of my room in the early morning and refused to leave until I had gotten a decent amount of sleep. Maybe I was desperate, lonely or something else, so we both gradually sort of approached each other throughout the months. I still had an incredible amount of guilt festering in my mind but something else was also being born inside me. There were small moments between us where my heart jumped for joy at the mere sight of her, or when she mastered my favourite foods in ample proportions and my birthday and religious holiday gifts which I noticed were getting more and more handcrafted. I sometimes still caught myself staring at her; I don't know how it happened but as time went on I actually looked forward to coming home just to get a glimpse of her working on something with all of her concentration, despite the stress both her brother and my father was giving me these days. She was innocent in my eyes and she always would be. 



But the night Hwi came to confront me and my father she unbelievably called me out on my fake smiles around her with such ease that for the first time she was able to knock the smile off my face. I could see why Hwi treasured her, there was no need to hide anything and put on a show for her. She didn't even call me into question, she just stated it with a small understanding smile on her face. I then realised I had to be more careful around her, I should have realised she was watching the only person she knew but I couldn't help laughing at her silly smile when I promised to take her to the market the next day. And I still clearly wasn't over her new look either, the way she dressed when I was waiting for her to escort her to the market…it blew my mind. I was already in a cheerful mood for once when I received my first birthday gift. I couldn't take my eyes off her and my heart unexpectedly tightened when I saw Hwi approaching us. I couldn't explain the feeling that came out of the blue when I saw them together but... I didn't want her to approach him momentarily, I felt like he could snatch the one thing that almost gave me oxygen at my father's house even though he was her older brother and had more rights to her than I ever will. So I was unnecessarily harsh to him in front of her to him which I kicked myself for when I was home but... at the moment I found myself fighting for her more than her brother. She was transforming almost everyday into something so elegant and pure that I almost wanted to keep her just for myself. And she was changing me as well. But I..I didn’t choose to like her more than the sister I had aways seen her as…she herself already had a crush on me for so long but I just handled it sweetly but now...now she had transformed herself so beautifully in my home, my courtyard, my study, my kitchen...my heart.


No! I couldn't do this to my brother Hwi, the only friend I had in this world. I only used my power to exile him so my father couldn't kill him about finding out that he rigged the military exam, his last string of hope to provide for his epileptic sister only to really take her away from him. Besides I still liked Hui-Jee even though she only had eyes for Hwi...at least I think I still did...but Yeonnie...I flipped over my desk in frustration and confusion, as I was slowly starting to realise what I should have from the beginning...Hui-Jee despised me for exiling Seo-Hwi unaware of the real reason. Even if I pursued her I couldn't get him out of her heart...just like how his precious sister was slowly starting to sit in mine…



“Seon-Ho? Is everything ok?” How? How could she have heard me? This wasn’t my first time throwing a fit and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last, so why was she the only one that could hear me, even though she was mostly on the other side of entire residence? “Go away Yeon, I’m fine.” “Who are you trying to fool?” That little brat, only she could reply so directly without hesitation or shame at all, but I guess it was my fault for spoiling her to take away some of the guilt that was suffocating me. “Go to bed Yeon.” I replied to her whilst knowing that she wouldn’t leave my door unless I went to bed. “I’m not going to bed unless you are.” “Yeon!” “What? Doesn’t this nation treasure filial piety? So what kind of person would I be if…” “Yeon!” “… if I let my elder…” “I’m only 4 years older than you, not 40.” I could help but murmur mid-sentence. “…work away all night long in the cold without getting some sleep?” “You…!” “Come on, you know me by now. I am not leaving until you get some sleep” 


How was it that she tortured me more than anyone I had met and managed to made me do her bidding for once as if she was older than me? Hwi was right, this brat really did have me wrapped around her little finger and she knew it. “Ok ok, I will go to bed now, just leave!” “Are you sure?” “Yes!” “Pinky promise?” She was really testing my patience right now, and I couldn’t help but to open my door and I was really ready to chase her back to her room if she hadn’t already scuttled away before I could catch up to her. What made this whole situation even more confusing was that she liked me before she lost her memories and quite a lot, so the way she was with me even after her memory loss…it was like she still liked me. Even now as she was running away from me, she would do these little flirtatious moves on me like batting her eyelids at me in a cheeky manner that left me confused, downright frustrated in more ways than one and it was making me look at her in a way that I really should not, now more than ever.