1 Prologue

I currently sat on the bed while thinking about the life. I thought about what kind of the weirdest moment that I have ever witnessed. If I say what kind of the weirdest moment in my life, I would like to say that is witness your own death.

Yes, I was watching my own body at the moment. My body isn't beautiful but at the acceptable standard. It's just slightly more beautiful than average. It's not pretty that much and ugly either.

Boring with watching my dead body. I changed to watch the surrounding. It was a white room, not a dust in sight, every clean. There was a heart beat monitor next to the bed and it had straight line on its.

I hated to say this but … thank to this machine that I knew I was dead. If not, I would think that was a joke making by the staff here just to cheer me up like everyday. Honestly, I didn't hate them. Because of them that everyday in hospital wasn't boring as hell. Beside, I also thought them friendly. They did a lot of stuff like telling comedy story, personal experience and also some magic trick. I learned how to draw a card from nothing. Actually, it was from my sleeves.

Anyway they surely have a lot of energy to do these thing. I'm impressive that they could liven the mood in this room. The room for patient in critical condition. When you're in this room means that you have little chance to recover back to normal.

Why I was here. Let's summarize how my life was. I was born in a family having 5 people. My two elder brother, my parents and me. We lived a very normal life. 4 people in family went to work everyday while I was still learning at school. The income was decent enough to live without any problem. I don't have much ambition so I'm happy with this kind of life. For more information, I was one of top ten students in school. It's not that I'm narcissistic. Not in country but in a local school. I'm proud with that till this day.

Until that day, it changed everything. It was a sunny day and I had a P.E class on that day. I was doing exercise. Suddenly, I felt my breath heavily and then I lost conscious. My classmate rushed to help me. And when I regained my conscious, I was laying in the hospital with my parents sitting next to me. When I looked my parents, I only saw gloomy emotion. I didn't know what is going on so I continued my sleep. Until the doctor came and said that I was diagnosed with heart disease. I dumbfounded for a long time to recover my sense. It was a big breaking new for me. Fortunately, there were no acrimonious argument or else I would die faster.

That all happened in my past and I can't change so I slipped it out of my mind. If you ask how I can overcome such a hard time like that then I will tell another story then. It surely broke my mind so much that I only stared the cell for long time. Of course I was despair. After all, I have lived as a normal student and now this happened. I hadn't prepared for this moment at all. I was an excellent student with bright future. Facing this adversity, I wanted to hide from the reality. Well I did hiding thing but that thing didn't last long.

My second brother came in and offered me to go out for a walk. At first, I resisted his offer but in the end I lost to his tenacity. Since I had heart disease, I could walk for a while. The disease gradually turned more serious and I started to lose more will to live on. I tried to stargazing at that time though it was a day time and there is no star in morning. Maybe I tried to search the hope in the sky.

Yes I did find the hope but it wasn't on the sky but on the ground. The kid asked me why I looked into the sunny and it very hurt for my eyes. I'm very surprised how caring kid at this age. I remembered I just blabbered that I was looking for superman or something like that. It was an absurd answer and I knew that.

The kid smile mischievous after hearing that. If I had had strength at that time, I would have kicked that kid for annoying me. I was already on the edge of desperation and that kid's still laughing at me. Luckily for kid that I can't react violently as it will trigger my disease. Until kid's mother came and said sorry to me, I don't mind that, after kid is a kid and they don't know what are they doing. I'm very grateful if that kid go out of my sight. Before leaving, his mother gave me something. It was a CD game. What kind of era's still using CD.

I don't know what to say since that was the first time I saw this. Mostly I heard this from boys in my old class. They discussed fiercely everyday about this. At that time, I thought this thing wasted of my time so I didn't care about it. And that was my mistake, I don't blame since at that time I only study and even my friend called me a bookworm. Hmm. I'm not enjoying books that much but it what look life from my point of view.

The mother and son left the scene soon after that. The kid did resist but still lost to his mother. I still held CD game in my hands and continued watching the sky for nothing. Until my brother came back to pick me up. He said where I get this CD and I just said "an angel give it to me". My brother knew it a lie but didn't say anything and helped me walk back hospital for a rest.

I stared at CD for a long time and decided to play it. Only then I realized that I didn't have computer so I asked my brother for laptop. My brother sympathized for me so he gave me in a second without thinking. I inserted the CD and began to play. And that was a moment enlightening my mind. I felt like I found my will to live again. Since that time, I played every game so hard excepting game FPS since I'm bad at aiming. And I'm not a professional player but I'm still good at this game. It seemed like in reality and game, I'm good at both. Since this can't satisfy me enough, I sought for more thing like manga, movie, game,… A lot of thing that I didn't try before. Just as famous people said, you can find fortunate in misfortune.

That is all my life was. If you said "Do you regret?" then I would like to say "Yes, I do regret. A lot of game, movie that I haven't finished watching". Now I felt like I want to dig my own grave and come back to life but reality says NO.

What I am kidding. I knew for sure reality is a bitch. I didn't know why I am thinking like this but game can change person.

Back to present for now, I still don't know what to say. It's a bizarre experience for me. Never before had I believed that there is a soul in body. I thought it was a illogical theory made up by the people since ancient.

Well it's not my fault though. Modern teaching makes me believe this.

While I was still thinking about this, the door suddenly opened and doctors surged in hurried. People phased through me and went to the bed.

I was watching them trying every effort to save me. I deeply appreciated their help but I already died long ago. Even now I still observed my dead body, it's no use.

I breathed heavily. I tried to re-enter my body before and it proved uselessly. At least I did give a try.

While I analyzed the situation before me, I suddenly remembered my parents. Ah well, it's still night time when everyone is sleeping at the moment. I died while I was sleeping. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry about this. At least I died in no pain.

I took a look at their procedure of saving people and suddenly there was a light brighten behind me. I know they will need a lot of light but the strange thing is the light behind me is getting brighter than before.

I glared back to see what it is. It's indeed a very bright light that seems out of place. Until that life illuminated the room into the pure white. My eyes was blinked by that radiant light. It seemed a sign for me to leave this world.

My only thought about this was " What a regret to not say goodbye to my parent and brothers" and I lost conscious once again.