8 That which vexes all men...

Shoutout to my new patrons:

hyoi

MyzNyx

You are legends!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was some time before the supply wagons managed to make it down to the 18th floor. Obviously they could not come down the same slide, so they had to take the long way by finding the stairs so the carts could be careful brought down. Those manning them groaned as they realised for the umpteenth time how they would have to bring the wagons back up those same steps except they would be heavier with items and cores instead of food and supplies.

When they did finally enter the safe zone, Raul Nord who led the second string group, immediately began to direct the team over to the Loki Familia's usual camp site that they occupied whenever they came to this level. It was customary for them to spend a night on this side of the floor before they progressed towards the other side.

This dungeon run however had been the smoothest trek ever as they had encountered no monster whatsoever and the monster rex had been taken out as well. What was odd to the man though was that there had been an absolutely massive crater before the boss room. Whatever had landed in it had struck the ground with so much force, the crater was too big to be a complete circle. Instead where bits of the circumference had been cut off, there had been the walls of the floor level, giant cracks running up those same bedrock wall.

Raul was intimately familiar with how powerful his seniors and the core members were. However, they were not the type to create something like that. Even if they were, the only one who could do that would be Gareth as his power lay in his strength stats. But Gareth did not mindlessly create holes like that and what would be the need anyway? The executives had defeated Goliath many times over in the past and they'd never done something like that.

The reason why Raul was stressing out over that crater was because the team hauling the wagons had been giving him an earful. Since the expanse of the crater had covered the floor from wall to wall, the haulers had to drag the wagons right through the crater and had had an arse of a time trying to pull those heavy wagons out. Especially when they were loaded with all those weapons and strange iron blocks that had been discarded in the floor above. The iron blocks alone weighed almost a tonne each.

In the end, they'd had to unload all those new things out of the wagons, pull the carts out of the crater, then carry those items out as well and refill the wagons. All that had left the haulers very miserable and tired. And Raul, though excellent as a leader, was a bit timid by nature and so his friend, Anakitty had had to deal with the complaints.

It was Captain's orders to bring those things along so they had to. Raul wondered though if the executives had managed to find the mysterious person they were looking for, the one who had all but destroyed all the previous floors

He got his answer though when they came upon the campsite and Raul saw a new face.

A man sat over a large rock was laughing and conversing with Tiona who was trying to swing a glowing purple sword but finding a hard time doing so. Raul noticed that the sword matched the armour that the person was wearing and immediately realised that the sword in Tiona's hands belonged to him. Even more strange was that the Sword Princess was seated on that same rock and keeping her gaze fixed on the stranger, even though it looked like the person either didn't notice or was trying to ignore her stare.

"STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" Tiona whined loudly as she dropped the sword. "How is it that you can lift this thing so easily and swing it around while I can't Steve?"

"Because it weighs like eight-and-a-half tonnes Tiona." Steve laughed and slapped his knees as he saw the annoyed look on her face. "You really won't be able to just swing it around like I do because you don't have the raw strength to do so."

"But if you can do it and I can't, then you're implying that you're stronger than me!" Tiona accused with a pout.

"I will neither confirm nor deny." Steve said. "Stop trying to catch me out."

"Damn." Tiona said with a defeated yet mischievous smile.

By this time everybody else had arrived and had taken notice of this 'Steve' and began asking questions amongst themselves as to who he was and if anybody knew him. Immediately he heard many of the girls gossiping over how 'hot' he was and were even more passionate about learning his name. Some were even questioning why Ais and Tiona were so close to him in proximity and assumed that maybe he was a friend of theirs that they didn't know. 

Although from the conversation he'd just heard, he didn't think that that was the case. As he looked around the camp more, he found Tione standing over to the side with Lefiya looking like she was chewing her out over something. Whatever it was had the timid elf stuttering and flailing as she usually did when she was trying to defend herself over something.

Raul saw Finn talking with Gareth and Riveria under a tree and gave orders to the rest of the Familia to start making up camp and setting up tents while he went over to the captain to take more instructions. Finn smiled as he noticed Raul come over to him.

"Good to see you here Raul. Everything went well I assume?" Finn asked.

"No monsters, if that was what you were asking about." Raul answered respectfully. "But we were delayed trying to get our wagons over that large crater you made outside the boss room. We ended up having to unload the wagons of all those things we found on the 16th floor that you told us to bring and then load them up again when had the wagons over." Raul forehead wrinkled questioningly. "Why was there a crater that large Finn? Did Goliath give you that much trouble or something? Actually, why was it even outside the boss room?"

"You can thank our new friend over there for that." Finn gestured to Steve who was now chatting with both girls either side of him on the rock. "He was the one that defeated the Irregular Goliath. He's also the one that rampaged throughout the upper floors so you can show him your appreciation for both the ease you had in not encountering any monsters and for the crater that gave you a bit of exercise." Finn joked.

"He defeated an Irregular by himself?" Raul asked as he looked at the handsome boy. "Who is he?"

"That we don't know." Riveria answered. "He claims that this is his first dungeon run and that he arrived in Orario only yesterday."

"Huh, that's impossible." Raul said. "There's no way he found a Familia in one night, let alone make it all the way down here on his first dive."

"We're also skeptical about that of course." Finn commented as he cast a glance back to the adventurer. "I will not be able to verify the authenticity of his claims until this expedition is over and we make it back to the surface. However, he will be joining us on this expedition, so tell the others to make him feel welcome."

"He's joining us?" Raul asked, confused. "You never just invite other adventurers on our trips with us. Why him?"

"Because he is strong, lad." Gareth said as he sat on a stump with his hand on his axe. "You weren't there when he killed Goliath but you've seen what he did up there. That kind of power indicates that he's no ordinary beginner. And since he won't share his Familia name or his level, we can only take a gander at it. He's most definitely stronger than you and your crew Raul..." Gareth looked over to the girls sitting either side of him. "And he may be stronger than the girls over there too."

"Stronger than Miss Ais? With no background either?" Raul said. "Then why are we bringing him along?"

"To keep an eye on him of course." Finn said. "An unknown high level adventurer just appears out of the blue and destroys the Dungeon from the first floor to the 17th with little regard. It may not be a wise idea to have him come along with us as even if he plans to go deeper as well. But it would be worse if he just disappears and we don't know his movements." Finn's tone became serious. "If he's an enemy, we can see him coming this way. And we're all together at the moment, so he won't make it out so easily if he turns on us."

"He doesn't seem like a bad kid though, I'll tell you that." Gareth commented as his interest suddenly peaked when he saw Steve pull out a large axe from yet again out-of-nowhere. The axe was the same glowing purple metal as the sword Tiona was wearing. "Either he's genuine, or he's a really good actor." Gareth got up off the stomp and made his way over to Steve, no doubt wanting to see what the axe was all about.

"I don't really see any malice about him either." Finn said. "I'm mostly convinced he's a nice guy but let's not drop our guards. Sleep away from wherever he sleeps for the time being and don't go anywhere near his wolf when he's not around."

Raul nodded and was about to walk away when he paused and went over what Finn just said. 

"Wolf? Sir?" It was then Raul looked around and realized there was a wolf that he knew was missing. "Where is Mr Bete?"

All of a sudden they all heard snapping branches and a couple of trees were knocked down deep in the forest. Out of one of the thickets came rushing out Bete with a snarl on his face and ran straight to where Steve was sitting.

"YOU BASTARD!" Bete yelled. "Can you tell your pet to stop chasing me and leave me alone?!"

"Stop winding her up and having staring contests with her then." Steve replied. "You know that staring at a wolf is perceived as a challenge. From one wolf to another, what do you think she's going to do?"

"But still-" Bete was interrupted as large mass of black fur and sharp teeth burst out of the same thicket and charged straight towards the Level Five, barking wildly with her claws outstretch. Her sudden appearance caused all the camp goers to jump back in fright while some screamed. Bathsheba paid no mind though as she honed in on her target. "OH FOR F***'S SAKE!" Bete yelled as he jumped onto another tree branch and bounded away with the Warg pursuing him into the other side of the clearing.

Both the Amazon twins were finding it hilarious while and were laughing their butts off, their faces red with glee as they got to see Bete running for his life. Of course it goes without a question that Bete could probably kill the Warg if he wanted to but she was the mount of another adventurer so he couldn't hurt her. And there was the fact that he had been pestering her, eventually making her snap so he knew that nobody would take his side. And even as a level five, the matriarch wolf was still very much capable of hurting him so he was left to keep running away from her until she got tired.

"At the very least, he brightens up the atmosphere." Finn said. "Make him feel welcome in our group as we eat. Tell the cooks to light the fires and begin preparing dinner." Finn looked up at the ceiling as he calculated how long it would be before nightfall. There wasn't at all very much left, even if their new friend had given them a headstart.

---

"That axe weighs about nine tonnes approximately." Steve said as Gareth gave the one handed Netherite axe a few swings. "I'm not too surprised you can lift it though Gareth. I've heard how Dwarves have exceptional strength amongst the mortal races."

"Well now you get a demonstration in the flesh, my boy." Gareth smiled. "Don't count this old Dwarf out of the adventurer's game yet."

"If you're old, then I'm middle aged." Laughed Steve as Tiona began poking fun at Gareth. The dwarf ignored her though as he gave a question of his own. 

"Why is it so heavy though lad? What metal is this made of?"

"You'd actually be surprised to know that this sword isn't solidly made of that metal, same as the axe you're holding." Steve said as he took his sword back from Tiona. "It's just a grafting."

"Really?"

"Yep, the sword was actually made out of something else before before I grafted that metal over it. It's the graft that actually weighs about 8 tonnes."

"Are you serious?" Tiona asked. "Wait, you're a smith?"

"Technically, yeah."

"So you're from the Hephaestus Familia!" Tiona pointed at him with stars in her eyes. 

"No."

"Goibniu?"

"No. Like I said Tiona, stop trying."

"Ugh, what's so bad about telling us anyways?" Tiona said as she leaned her head back on her arms that she'd folded behind her with her eyes closed. "It makes you really shady-looking you know?"

"I'm aware. But I must adhere to my patron's wishes for the time being."

"You're so loyal to them then." Tiona commented before opening a single eye in thought. "They do say that men who are both strong and loyal make the best offspring though. Hmmm..."

"So the grafting is heavy." Gareth clarified. "But why is this glowing then? Magic? A property of this metal? By the way, what's it called?"

"Netherite. And the glow is magic. I enchanted it after all."

"Enchanted? You enchant things?" Ais said in surprise.

"Yep."

"Seriously lad, just who are you?" Gareth looked at Steve's armour. "Is the armour the same as the weapons too then? How much does it weigh?"

"Yep, the armour is also grafted." Steve said as he pulled his helmet back on. "In a full set, this armour weighs 41 tonnes in total."

"Woah!" Tiona exclaimed. "You must be insanely strong then if you're carrying that much weight around all the time. That's way heavier than a large dragon."

"Yep. I doubt even Gareth could pick me up then."

"I wouldn't be so sure lad." Gareth smiled as he handed the axe back. "You'll find I'm quite welcome to challenges."

"Well there will be no challenges at the moment okay." Steve held his hands up peacefully. 

"Why not?" Ais asked, speaking as rarely as ever. "You're strong. I want to have a spar with you."

"I can count now the amount of times you've said I'm strong Ais." Steve said as he waved her off. "Besides, I just met you guys and I'm liking all of you. Why would I want to hurt any of you on the first day we meet?"

"You sound like you're so sure you could hurt us. Us high level adventurers." Tiona challenged. 

"Again, I'm not telling what my level is. But rest assured..." Steve put his axe and his sword into his hotbar. "...when I say I can hurt you, I can and I know I can." He folded his arms. "Unless of course you forgot my little demonstration upstairs."

"We haven't forgotten." Gareth chuckled. "Fine. Nobody ask him any more questions. Tiona, lay off of him. There'll be no spars today either." Gareth gestured Steve to come forward. "We would be honoured if you joined us for dinner tonight."

"Any meat?"

"Only if you like dried and salted meat." Ais said. "We can't bring fresh meat down here."

It only took a blink before Gareth, Ais and Tiona were looking at a stack of steaks resting on the boulder.

"Then consider this my treat as well." Steve gestured to the pile, noticing their questioning looks. "A special storage skill and I won't say anymore than that. And anyway, its expensive to keep something like Bathsheba fed so I always have a lot of extra meat in there. Now let's eat!"

---

"These are the best steaks I've had in my life!" Someone in the Loki Familia screamed as everyone in camp gathered around their fires with their plates and bowls. Night had finally fallen and the crystal lights on the ceiling of the 18th floor were illuminating the ground below.

Steve's beef steaks were a massive hit and instantly he had been welcomed even more warmly into their gathering. Steaks and ale seemed to light up the mood for adventurers...they'd become as excited as children when Steve had piled more and more steaks on the table.

"I really have to thank you Steve." Finn said as he took a bite of his. "Let me know how much we owe you and I'll make sure you are reimbursed."

"Nonsense." Steve patted Finn's back in a friendly manner. "This is my gift to all of you. You don't pay for them. Besides, I'm sure Bathsheba would not have eaten them anyway."

"Why is that?" Riveria asked as she scanned the area for the aforementioned Warg. "Where is she anyway?"

"She's developed an appetite for Minotaur flesh it would seem." Steve said flatly. "She went back up to the 17th floor to hunt some down. She's only able to get a few mouthfuls before the things die and and evaporate and she needs a lot of feeding. I expect she'll be up there for a while."

They continued to chat idly about different topics when a random person who had gotten slightly tipsy just slurred out. 

"So mister Steve. Tell us, do you like breasts? Or butts?"

Obviously, to some this is a deathly serious question in the animeverse. It instantly caused people to drop their utensils and stare at him, waiting for his answer. Finn facepalmed, embarrassed that someone would pop a question like this. Surprisingly, the women didn't really take any sort of offense to this question being asked aloud near them. They appeared to be just as eager for his reply. And what was it?

"Neither." He answered simply as he took a swig of ale.

"WHAT?! SACRILEGE!!!" Somebody yelled in the back.

"That make's no freaking sense!"

"Butts for the win!"

"No, boobs conquer all!"

"You want to be saying that pal, while your girl is as flat as a washboard?"

"THE F*** YOU SAY PUNK?!"

Steve saw Finn about to raise his face before he gestured to him not to. Steve then raised his bare hands (he had taken his armour off for dinner) and clapped loudly. The air pressure generated by it not only made a large sound that rattled everyone's eardrums, but it also created a gust of wind that blew their hair a little. Everyone instantly fell silent.

"I wasn't done speaking yet." Steve said as he raised his tankard again. "On the subject of asses. I appreciate them as much as the next red blooded male. So long as it's not exaggeratedly big, I'm fine with that." He then settled into a seating position that made him look like an East Asian preacher. And the seriousness in his voice that entered his voice as he continued may as well have made him a preacher too. Some people appreciated how much importance he was putting into this topic.

"On the topic of breasts however, there is a saying." Steve said, sounding very similar to a certain wise turtle. "'Flat is justice! Medium is Premium! And boobs are Truth!' You know what I say to that?" All the men in the area were at apt attention. "EVERY SIZE makes my wood RISE! So bring it on ladies!" Steve laughed as others began cheering and hollering as they clapped in approval although some called him callous for not picking one of the three. The upside though was that every female in camp who each had chests of varying sizes, as well as their insecurities to go along with it felt just a bit better about themselves, which they appreciated the newcomer for.

"As for what I actually prefer." Steve said and everybody instantly went quiet like he was about to deliver some holy revelation. "I have a feeling that this particular part of women goes underappreciated a lot of the time. It adds so much to their natural feminine allure, and yet it is so subtle that only those who truly appreciate feminine beauty can see it."

"What is it then?" Somebody asked as all the women leaned in closer to hear what he had to say.

"The answer is...HIPS!" Steve said smiling proudly. "Hips are perhaps the most beautiful part of any woman and to me it is one of the most alluring. It's a not all well known fact that women's hips have more flexibility than men. Of course the reason for that is to accommodate a baby between them at some point in their lives." Steve said, raising his hands up like he was touching the hips of an imaginary model.

"I've heard people label this view as demeaning towards women, like their sole purpose in life is to rear children. You know what I say?" Steve smashed his hand on the ground, his face carrying a red hue as he fell under the influence of the alcohol. Everyone noticed how the entire eighteenth floor trembled with the impact of that fist. People who were sleeping in Rivira were jolted awake all of a sudden by a mini Earthquake.

"F*** YOU! A pregnant woman is a symbol of so many things that are beautiful! It symbolises hope for the future, assurance that our legacies will continue and that all our work to build the foundation for generations to come is not for naught. A pregnant woman is a symbol of compassion, love for the child they are about to bear. They spare no effort to make sure that the child is brought into his world with as much care as possible despite the fact that they know the experience is going to hurt with such pain that they cannot fathom until they have arrived at that point."

Steve took another swig, this time directly from the bottle as cultured men drank in his wisdom and shouted 'Aye!' from time to time. 

"COURAGE! That kind of bravery is their one true and unique strength. Can any man here even fathom what it's like carrying another lifeform inside your gut!" Every man there shook their head rapidly. "NO! And this is where women are strong where men are weak. We can't fathom having a baby right beside our vital organs. We men, BUCKLE, under the pressure of carrying the next generation in us. We chicken out, not because of the fact that it is physically impossible for us to do something like that but because the mere thought of carrying another human inside our guts makes us squirm. As a result, pregnancy is one of the greatest forms of women's bravery and men's cowardice!"

Some of the women clapped and cheered at this as this perspective was not one they'd explored before. A lot of them had crossed paths with entitled men who saw themselves superior to women, but this lesson had given them something they could hold over such people in fundamental principle. They found that no matter their proportions, they had something intrinsic to their very female constitution that was empowering as hell. And boy did they love that!

"And what is the very thing that is carrying the weight of all of these beautiful concepts? What is it that supports all those dreams and hopes, all those promises? THE HIPS! And even when not involved in pregnancy, hips contribute so much to the feminine allure. It's like women are built to be beautiful! The hips are such symbols of beauty that all a woman needs to do is simply walk! WALK! How many of us men would want to look attractive simply because of the way we walked? All she has to do is walk, and let those beautiful hips sway from side to side in one of the most natural rhythms in life. I tell you, there is nothing that is equally as majestic as it is vexing for me! How women don't even need confidence to be beautiful but rather just need to be themselves in order to be beautiful. Whereas men out there are always trying to be something else, to appear a certain way, pretending to be something they're not. Whatever attractive qualities men may have, it always has to be built!"

Another swig.

"Good personality? A man has to learn manners, kindness and compassion and how to respect women if women find personality attractive. Big muscles? Exercise all the time and you have to watch what you eat, make sacrifices so you can appear attractive. Money and wealth? You need to be a bright mind in a competitive market to make more money than others, the stress of which shaves off a few years of our lives no doubt. Power? You need to risk your lives to monsters everyday down here in the dungeon just so you can get that teensy bit stronger bit by bit. And if all it takes is handsome face, then you just simply have to be born with it which is something that most men don't have. Because men are usually just average as F***. And yet all a women has to do to look attractive is to just simply take a walk down the street!"

Another swig. This time, Steve's eyes began to droop as he felt a bit of drowsiness come on.

"And that is why Hips outrank butts and boobs BY MILES! TELL ME I AM WRONG!" A lot of drunken hollering but nobody seemed to want to disagree with how much passion he put into that subject. Safe to say, Steve converted a lot of men that night in their faith. From lovers of chests and hindquarters to lovers of haunches. It was a proud day for the hip lovers.

"So based off of that then..." The first adventurer who asked the question said. "...who is the most attractive woman to you from amongst us?"

This time, the gazes directed at Steve was different. If he was in his right mind instead of a nigh-drunken haze, he would have compared it to a bunch of predatory eyes locked onto him. 

"Like a man of culture, I have lived off of these teachings and have applied them to every woman I've met." Steve said. "As I have done so with every woman on this camp and I have narrowed my preferences to two." 

Drumroll for the big reveal!

.

.

.

.

.

"Tiona and Ais!" Steve exclaimed, startling the two girls who happened to be on either side of him. One gained a red flush on her cheeks while the other felt a big smile adorn her face at finally being appreciated for her feminine beauty instead of being ignored for her sister and her heart began to beat faster. "These two girls have the best hips in all of camp, and it's so hard for me to pick between the two because they are just so perfect in their own set. Even though they are evenly matched in the hip department."

By this time the bottle was finished.

"One is well endowed but carries a quiet charm, mysterious and enticing. It makes you quite calm around her as she induces a relaxation in you even with her voice alone." It didn't take a genius to figure out who he was talking about, and Ais was left feeling strange, unsure of the feeling bubbling in her stomach. Over a thousand men had asked to court her and she had rejected them all. Countless times she'd been told how beautiful she was but she'd never felt the way she did now. It was like she actually enjoyed what she was hearing, because of who was saying it. Maybe because of the honesty in himself. Unlike those suitors, Steve did not appear as a lecher.

"And then one of course is not as well endowed but she more than compensates for it with her cheery nature. She's an ever flowing well of positivity and she's always an excitement to have. Never a dull moment when she's around, I'm sure." Tiona's heart began beating faster, even though he had mentioned her chest which was a great source of her insecurity. But the pure sincerity filling his voice made those fears evaporate and all she could feel was her smile getting bigger and her eyes getting brighter.

"When you're faced with such two perfect choices, it's really hard to decide which one to pursue you know?" Steve said before. "But I am a man of honour and care. I will not pursue one at the risk of breaking the heart of the other. I'd rather they find their own partners and fall in love with them than start hurting because of any grief I have caused them." Steve stretched as he chuckled. "Obviously it would be strange if I did anyway. After all, we've only just met."

That instigated another round of laughter. But even if it was over something that could be considered immature and silly or drunken-induced, Steve had garnered respect and gratefulness from many people that night, including the two girls he'd named, even if it left some other women disappointed. One female though, a certain elf, did not like a certain half of what he had said and was giving him a narrow eyed glare.

Steve did not care for anything at this point as all he wanted to do now was to go to sleep.

"I'm going to hit the sack then." He announced. "See ya tomorrow."

He had a few people wish him goodnight as he walked away to his part of camp that he'd chosen away from the other tents. He'd had a feeling that most people there wouldn't be comfortable with him sleeping so close to them as a complete stranger in what was still a dangerous environment. They were in the Dungeon after all.

He had no tent though. Instead he filled the ground with bedrock, placed a bed atop it and climbed in. He then just built a bedrock wall and ceiling directly around he bed with not even a block's gap between his face and the ceiling. He wasn't afraid of suffocating as apparently by Minecraft physics you couldn't suffocate unless you were in water. Still though, he entered Creative Mode and briefly wondered if he should use a time set command to instantly turn night to day just for the fun of it. 

All the protection was so nothing happened to him while he was asleep. People always fell because they were overconfident in their powers. Harm would come at the most unexpected of times in the most unexpected of ways. So even though he was stronger than anyone in the Loki Familia, he would not leave himself open until he could trust them as well. He knew who the main characters were and could trust them but he knew nothing of the rest of them.

So no risks. Especially when people all had their own unique cheats called skills. Anybody could have a skill that might bypass his bedrock wall and get to him, who knows? Creative mode was just that extra protection.

With those last thoughts, he drifted to sleep as two girls that night went to sleep with warmth in their chests, one more so than the other. One fully aware of what she was feeling and the other unsure of what she was feeling. But both were confident in one fact. Stephen Hewer...

...was someone they could definitely get along with. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comment and Review!

Discord: discord.gg/DuBPCTEr

Read ahead on my Patreon:

Patreon/ Vulkizaro_Zoromi

For commissions:

Ko-Fi/ vulkizarozoromi

avataravatar
Next chapter