Fifteen

"Psst."

Elijah sighed. As if it wasn't already enough that he was sleeping in a tent with five other snoring males, Lucas wouldn't stop twisting and turning beside him.

"What do you want, Lucas? I'm trying to get some sleep." Elijah hissed at the boy without turning over to look at him. It was virtually impossible to fall asleep when he was sandwiched between five other guys in a stuffy tent, who were still noisy even when asleep. That didn't mean he was going to stop trying, though. It had been an exhausting day. From the four-hour long bus trip to the one-hour walk to find a perfect clearing to set up camp, and then of course to the 'setting up camp' part. While the girls got to relax, chat and take selfies, the guys were stuck setting up twelve tents, and no one in class even knew how to so it just took that much longer to figure it all out first. By the time they were done, it was already night time and everyone was exhausted. Since it was still too early to go to sleep but too late to actually do anything, they set up a fire and sat around it in a circle, everyone talking to their friends and making s'mores. When it was 10pm, the teachers forced all the students to go to sleep and now here they were.

"I can't sleep." Elijah could almost hear the pout in his voice.

"Aren't you the one who once slept in a subway during rush hour?" Elijah whispered back with a scoff, "I don't think you should be having any problems."

"I don't know. I just can't fall asleep. And I think Chris just farted."

"And what do you want me to do? Read you a bedtime story?" Elijah asked with a roll of his eyes. The air did smell a little funny though.

"You're the biology student. Maybe you can think of something to make me fall asleep."

"Just shut your eyes, and your mouth."

"Thanks for the help, fucker."

A few minutes later, with Lucas’ non-stop twisting and turning, the brunette sat up.

"Where are you going?" Elijah asked.

"I'm gonna go take a walk. I can't take Chris' farts any longer."

Elijah frowned at the elder and watched him leave the tent. Not long after, he felt a tingling sensation on his arm. Looking down, he gasped when he saw a cockroach leisurely taking a stroll on his skin.

Why the fuck did I agree to this again? He thought bitterly.

He swatted the insect off and decided to leave the tent, not really welcome to the idea of sleeping anymore when clearly there were bugs around. Sam was right, after all. Said boy was fast asleep next to him, mouth wide open with a trail of drool falling gracefully from the corner of his lips. With a sigh, he walked out of the tent and shivered slightly when the cold air hit him. There was no one in sight since everyone was probably asleep.

He sucked in a deep breath. If there was anything positive about this trip, it was the fresh, clean air away from the city and the starry sky. The gentle breeze whistled as it blew past, rustling the tree leaves and ruffling his hair in its wake. Would be nice if Noah was here, he thought sadly. It would have made everything a whole lot more worthwhile. There was no network around to even send him a text or call him.

He decided he should probably go look for Lucas, but remembered Mr. Reeves distinctly telling them not to go out into the woods at night and to only go hiking in groups. Lucas was nowhere in sight so that could only mean one thing.

He went into the fucking woods.

After fifteen minutes of searching, he couldn't find the elder boy anywhere. He tried his best not to get too far from camp as he didn't want to get lost among the trees and bushes. Slightly concerned, he decided to go back to camp to see if Lucas had returned. But when he got back and looked into the tent, Lucas was still nowhere to be seen. Elijah wouldn't be surprised if he got himself lost somewhere. He wondered if he should go look for the brunette again, but decided on staying put for a while instead and if Lucas didn't return, he'd go search for him again.

Twenty minutes passed. Still no sign of Lucas. The blonde was starting to get a little antsy, worried that something had happened to him. Trying not to make too much noise, Elijah lit up the leftover firewood from the bonfire so if he got lost in the woods, he could at least see the smoke and find his way back. Or at least Lucas could. Grabbing a flashlight from the tent, he went back into the woods to search for the elder boy, cursing him continuously in his head. He made sure every now and again that he could still see the smoke as he traversed between the trees, twigs snapping underneath his feet with almost every step.

"Godammit Lucas where are you?" He hissed to himself. He tried calling his name, but not too loud to wake everyone up. He contemplated calling one of the teachers or something but that would just cause unnecessary commotion and Lucas would get into trouble for breaking the rules. After looking around for another twenty minutes or so, he finally reached another clearing with a lake. The moonlight shone down on the clear water and the view was absolutely breathtaking.

"Wow." He whispered to himself. Glancing to the right, he saw a figure sitting on the ground a few feet away, back resting against a rock by the lake. He turned off his flashlight and made his way towards the guy, determined to let Lucas have it for worrying him.

"There you are!"

Lucas jumped and clutched his chest at the sudden voice but calmed down when he saw that it was just Elijah.

"Eli? What are you doing here?" He asked with a frown on his face, "You almost gave me a heart attack."

"No you almost gave me a heart attack. I thought you got eaten by a bear or something." Elijah snapped, "I was fucking looking for you for over an hour now."

"But why?"

"I don't know, I thought you got lost or something."

Lucas bit his lip and looked down at the ground.

"Oh. So you did get lost."

"No I didn't! I... I just found this spot and decided to sit here for a while."

"Stop lying, Lucas." Elijah rolled his eyes as he sat down next to the elder.

"Okay, fine. I got lost. Happy?" He grumbled.

"Idiot. Didn't Mr. Reeves say not to go out into the woods at night?"

"I couldn't help it. I'm an adventurous person! Except I have really shitty sense of direction."

"Clearly," Elijah chuckled, staring up ahead of him at the lake, "Not gonna lie though... This is a nice spot."

"Yeah." Lucas agreed, looking at the boy next to him. The moonlight was shining down on his fair skin and his eyes were almost glittering. He had to admit, Elijah was very good-looking, but the way he was staring at him and admiring the sight was not how a straight person would and he needed to stop right now. Quickly, he looked away, feeling extremely weirded out with himself.

"I uh... I'm glad you found me. I was gonna wait until morning to look for camp again."

Elijah sighed, "Well, that's what friends do, right?"

Lucas laughed softly, "Yeah... Thanks, friend."

"Doesn't mean I'm gonna bother going through all this trouble if you pull some shit like this again. You can go get eaten by a bear for all I care."

"Gee thanks. It's great to know you'll always have my back." Lucas said sarcastically. Elijah chuckled. The two fell into comfortable silence after that, letting the cool wind and the sounds of nature sooth them.

"We should head back to camp." Elijah said softly, slightly shivering from the cold.

"And back into that tent with Chris' unforgiving farts? No thank you."

Lucas noticed that Elijah was cold and felt a little bad about it. But he really didn't want to go back into that tent. He just wanted to stay there with the younger until daylight. It was just so beautiful and serene. After much contemplation, he took off his coat and threw it over Elijah's head.

"What the fuck?" Elijah glared at the elder, pulling the coat off his head.

"Wear it. I don't want you turning into an icicle or something." He tried to feign nonchalance as he stared ahead at the lake.

Elijah eyes softened. Was Lucas actually being thoughtful? But he shook his head, "Then you'll get cold. And I'm fine, really."

"No you're not. Just wear the goddamn thing, Eli."

The blonde looked from Lucas to the coat in his hold, still warm from his body heat. Sighing, he shifted closer to Lucas until their shoulders were touching and covered the two of them with the coat like a blanket instead. Lucas felt his head immediately go blank at the sudden contact. The two had never been this close before. The fact that Elijah decided to cover them both instead of just wearing the jacket also made his heart flutter, for whatever reason. Because apparently, beneath all that indifference, Elijah was actually really caring. Lucas wasn't sure why he was overreacting to all this but all he could think about was the warmth Elijah's body was radiating.

What's wrong with me? Calm the fuck down, Lucas. There's nothing gay about this, okay? We're just friends. He scolded himself.

"Lucas?"

Elijah's voice snapped him out of his crazy thoughts, "Y-Yeah?"

"You okay?"

Lucas gulped, "I'm f-fine."

"Oh." Elijah sighed, understanding what was going on, "You're uncomfortable with this, aren't you? Just take the coat back, Lucas, and let's get back to camp." The blonde was about to move away from Lucas but the latter quickly stopped him by grabbing his arm.

"N-No... It's nice, actually."

Elijah stiffened under his hold, making the elder widen his eyes quickly, "Not in like a gay way! I mean, like it's... warm."

Lucas slowly pulled Eli to rest back against the rock again and fixed the coat over them. Elijah still seemed uncomfortable but Lucas stayed put anyway.

Well this is fucking awkward. Lucas internally groaned.

"By the way, that book you gave me... it's actually not that bad." Lucas said, trying to get rid of the awkward atmosphere.

"Yeah? You actually read it?" Elijah seemed genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. I'm already two-fifty pages in. As depressing as it is, it really does give you some insight on how these disabled people feel and think."

"You actually sound like a smart person now," Elijah chuckled, and Lucas was glad the other was relaxing again, "Do you know what sucks the most for them, though? Not the fact that they're disabled... but all the pity stares that they get for it."

"You think so?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah... I hate being pitied. That's why I don't like opening up to people. I don't want them to feel bad for me and treat me differently just because of something that happened to me in the past." Elijah replied, looking straight into Lucas’ eyes. The latter took a moment to notice how close their faces were but tried not to let it phase him. "I don't want them to think I'm weak."

"I don't think you're weak, Elijah. You're actually the exact opposite. And for that I don't pity you, I respect you."

Elijah didn't say anything but the genuine smile on his face was more than enough. The smile that Lucas never thought would be directed at him, the smile that he thought was only reserved for Noah. It made his stomach do backflips and he wasn't sure why.

"Thanks, Lucas."

The two went back into comfortable silence and Lucas yawned, the calming atmosphere making him sleepy. After much contemplation, he rested his head on the younger's shoulder, "Good night, Eli." He mumbled sleepily, eyes already closed. Elijah would have complained but honestly he was sleepy too and it was rather comfortable here, infinitely more so than at the tent.

Without thinking too much about it, he rested his own head on Lucas’ and closed his eyes.

"Good night, Lucas."

Surprisingly enough, this time it was Lucas that woke up first. Elijah was cuddled up to his side and the coat was messily draped over them as the sunlight shone down on their faces. Lucas rubbed his eyes and looked down at Elijah. He looked so relaxed and so peaceful, his forehead digging into Lucas’ neck, his lips parted as he breathed steadily. The sight made his heart pick up speed and he blinked in disbelief.

What is happening with me?

Lucas’ smile turned into a frown. What was going on with him? Why was he having all these weird thoughts and feelings lately? Why did he hate it so much when girls gawked at Elijah, or when his friends (or anyone for that matter) got a little too close to him? Why did it make his blood boil when he saw him hugging Noah that night? At first he thought it was just him being an overprotective friend but now it was clearly more than that. It was like Lucas didn't want anyone else coming near Elijah and making him happy, making him smile, except for himself. And it wasn't just because he wanted to be better than everyone else. This was becoming more than just platonic.

Lucas was mentally freaking out.

He's a guy. I'm a guy. He's a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm not gay.

Now even he was doubting that. But how does one simply go from homophobic to homosexual? And that too because of one person? It didn't work like that.

No. It's fucking ridiculous.

The lingering looks, how much he'd been noticing about Elijah those days, not to mention unintentionally admiring his backside sometimes. He noticed how his eyes scrunched up into little half-moons and how he always brought his hands up to cover his mouth when he laughed. How much Lucas wanted to move his hands away so he could see his beautiful smile. His milky, pale white skin. How ethereal he looked under the moonlight.

A few weeks ago, he would have told himself this was wrong. That a guy is not supposed to like another guy. But now, now that he saw how Elijah's feelings for Noah weren't really all that different from those between a boy and a girl, he wouldn't say it was something wrong. He just wasn't ready to accept it. It was just too bizarre. Too strange. He wasn't ready to face other people, his friends, his mother but most of all he wasn't ready to face his feelings.

How could he accept this idea calmly when it was something he thought was taboo all his life? It wasn't simple like that.

Yet when he looked down at Elijah's sleeping form, all his worries would momentarily be washed away, and he was left with a warm, fuzzy feeling in his heart.

Fuck. These are not straight feelings.

The realization brought both bliss and dread to him. But more so the latter.

I have to stop this before it gets too big... before it slips out of my control...

"Lucas?" Elijah sleepily muttered as his eyes fluttered open, yawning adorably. Lucas noticed how his cold facade, for once, was gone. He looked so vulnerable right now. But as he sat up and composed himself, it was as good as gone.

"We should get back to camp before they think we died or something." Elijah said coldly, standing up. He held his hand out for the elder to take. Lucas just stared at it dumbly for a while before placing his own palm in Elijah's and the latter pulled him up to his feet. He didn’t miss the little shiver that went down his spine at the simple touch.

"Let's go." Elijah led the way and Lucas silently followed behind him. He was a mess inside, self-contradictory thoughts popping here and there but most of all, confusion.

Lucas was very much sexually confused.

"You're awfully quiet." Elijah mumbled, glancing at the guy lagging behind him.

"I'm just not a morning person is all." Lucas answered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh."

Once they made it back to camp, they were greeted with their friends' worried faces and pissed off teachers. The two silently listened to Mr. Reeves as he angrily lectured them about breaking the rules and they repeatedly bowed ninety degrees to apologize to him and the rest of the teachers. After the whole commotion was over with, the teachers called up all the students to announce their activities for the day. Lucas made sure he sat as far away from Elijah as possible because being near him was making things even harder for him. He just needed some space away from the younger boy to be able to gather his thoughts properly.

"Alright I hope everyone had a good night's sleep."

Lucas scoffed. Yeah right.

"So today we're gonna be having a little challenge. Do you guys see the top of that hill?" Everyone turned their eyes to where the teacher was pointing. There was a hill a good distance away from the camp site with a red flag on it, "We're gonna divide everyone into pairs. The game is simple, really. The first pair to make it to the top of that hill is the winner."

The looked amongst each other curiously as the teacher continued. "Now, I want you all to divide yourselves into two groups, thirty in each."

It took a few minutes for the students to messily divide themselves and when they did, the teacher spoke again, "Great. Now I want each of you to pick a number from the bowls in front of you and each two people with the same number will be a pair."

Lucas picked a number and read it. twenty-six. In his head, he kept chanting, please don't let Elijah be my partner. Next thing he knew, he saw Elijah walking around holding up that damn number. twenty-six. Why, isn't fate on my side this fine morning? Lucas quickly walked in the opposite direction and was never more happy to bump into Alex.

"Hey Alex! Let's switch."

"Why?" The elder asked with a frown as Lucas took the number from Alex's hand and replaced it with his own.

"I don't wanna be paired with a guy." He said lamely, but the elder bought it anyway with a roll of his eyes. When he saw Elijah approaching them, he quickly went off to look for his new partner. He finally found out that it was a girl from their class, Julie, who was also the hottest in their grade. She had been on his To-Do list for a good while now, too.

This is exactly what I need right now.

He smirked and walked up to the girl.

"Fourteen?" He held up the number in his hand and she turned to look at him, immediately smiling her signature flirtatious smile.

"Fourteen."

"L-Let's take a break." Julie said, trying to catch her breath. They had been walking uphill for a while now. The top of the hill seemed to get closer and closer but it was never close enough. And Lucas, being the competitive person he is, actually wanted to win.

"Hey, are you tired? Do you want me to carry you the rest of the way?" He asked with a small smirk, making the girl giggle.

"Nah, I'll just weigh you down. Let's just sit for a while, okay?"

"Okay."

The girl looked around for a spot to sit and settled on a rock by a tree, while Lucas sat down next to her. He was also a little tired; they'd been hiking for about an hour, after all.

"This is pretty fun, huh?" She asked, and the guy immediately nodded.

"It is. Especially since we're paired up together."

"Oh shut up, you charmer." She pushed him playfully.

"What, aren't you having fun with me?" He asked, slightly tilting his head to the side with a playful expression on his face.

"Of course I am." Her voice dropped an octave, eyes looking up at his flirtatiously. The girl had an intense gaze on him.

Elijah.

Lucas cursed himself for thinking about the younger again. No, Lucas. You like girls. Get it through your head. His gaze didn't leave Julie's as he leaned in closer. She was giving him an invitation and he was going to take it.

You like girls and you're gonna prove it right now.

He crashed his lips against Julie's, partly because he wanted to prove a point to himself. He could taste the slight tang of lip gloss on her lips. She latched her fingers into his shirt and pulled him closer, moving her lips against his and slightly parting them to grant him entrance. He circled his arms around her waist and slipped his tongue past her lips.

See? You're not gay. You're straight. You like girls.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made them instantly pull away from each other, cheeks and lips flushed. Lucas was met with the judging eyes of Alex and a silent Elijah lurking behind him.

"Oh hey guys." Lucas grinned sheepishly, wiping his lips with the back of his hand, "We were just taking a break."

Alex snickered, "Sure. You're lucky it was us who caught you guys. If it was one of the supervisors, they would have really let you have it. Especially you, Lucas, after the whole ruckus this morning."

"Yeah, yeah, we got it." Lucas rolled his eyes, "We were just finishing up anyway. Be on your merry way."

As the two walked away, Lucas’ eyes lingered on Elijah, and he didn't know why but he felt guilty. Elijah didn't even so much as look at him throughout the entire conversation. Brushing it off, he turned to Julie and smirked at her, leaning in close to her ear.

"We'll continue where we left off after we win."

The girl bit her lip as he winked at her, and they got up to complete the task at hand. Lucas still couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling in his chest but just decided to ignore it.