She A Yandere Dude, Run!

The room was again filled with silence once Dragon System said his piece.

I didn't speak a word, spending some time to compose myself.

"Alright."

I spoke.

"So, I'm gonna ask you a few questions that are necessary to the plot, and then I'll pretend I'm fine eith whatever that's going and then start listening to you blindly rather than trying to dig up more info about your origin to be extra cautious like any person with half a brain would."

{Wtf are you talking about...}

"Ok so first question, why do you speak like a street thug, aren't you a system, shouldn't you be stale, emotionless, and also sometimes make an effort to be funny, which then ends in failure and only makes you look corny?

You know, that's, that's apparently how it goes with systems here."

The system's reply didn't come immediately, probably looking for the right answer.

{Oh I'm glad you asked Edward.

It's just like you said, i could've been stale, emotionless, and without a character, but at the same time try to be something I'm not by contradicting my own nature as a robotic and superfluous system that can only come up with half-witted replies in an effort to ever so slightly annoy my master and please the audience, but I guess I'm just built different.}

"I see i see.

Well, next question, what can you do for me exactly?"

{Another great question Edward! I think the right question would be what can't i do for you!

You see, a person's stats are indicators of their level, but with me, your level will be an indicator of your stats.}

"Huh? Could you elaborate so me and everyone else can understand?"

{Yes certainly! Normal people can only increase their stats by either training phsyically, absorbing special medicine, or using artifacts. As their stats increase so do their level. And as their level increases they unlock more abilities, and become stronger.

Well, with me, you can level up simply just by doing quests, or slaying monsters. No need to go through rigorous trianing, or look for heavenly medicines to get stronger.

Just slay monsters, do quests, level up, and enjoy your free stat points!}

"Thank you for the oddly specific and intelligent reply Dragon System!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna revert back to being an oblivious one dimensional mc who doesn't ask or feel anything and only acts according to the plot!"

I felt strands of my self consciousness leaving me along with the fourth-wall's energy as the conversation ended.

None of that mattered now though, the only thing that mattered was the quest.

"How do I up my Pussy Game oh great Dragons System?"

{Call me Greg.} The system's somehwat husky voice sounded out again.

"...Ok Greg."

{Alright Alright, now here's what you gotta do to complete the quest.}

I listened attentively as Greg spoke.

{You go out, and you get laid.

You get about... Lemme read, what is this? 100Exp? Yeah it should be about one level.}

My expression began to ashen as I listened.

"Greg my guy, tf do you mean get laid, no one even throws a side glance at me with my shitty talent and even shitter looks."

My voice was down as i spoke, looking at my short height, skinny build and ugly face in the mirror.

{I don't know dude, go fuck some hookers or something, just get it done somehow.}

Scratching my head, i contemplated my options.

"Uhhhm, does it have to be like, human or..."

{No, Dude, ewww, aughhh! What the fuck are you talking about? Of course it has to be with a human. What you wanna go out-}

"Yo chill chill i was just joking... For real."

As the conversation died down, i had to lookd down in embarrassment. No wonder I don't get any bitches. My joke was really outta place.

{Sigh, well. We gotta work this out somehow. You a dragon now dude, you need some yin energy to balance out your yang energy and make you stronger. Why do you think your cock is always bulging?}

My brows rose hearing that.

"How do you know about that?"

{Uhhh, it's confidential.}

The two of us descended into silence once again, weighing our options.

*Knock*Knock*

That's when a knock was heard on the door.

*Creek* my old door creaked as i opened it.

The person standing behind the door, turned out to be a female.

She was a head taller than me, I'm like, five foot two for context, had long brown hair that reached her waist, and two black eyes that somehwat reminded me of Sara. Her chest was bountiful but not quite as much as hers, as for her behind, kekeke. It was a treat.

"Hey Ed."

"H-Hey Meg, what brings you here." I stammered as i spoke, courtesy of my weak social skills.

And the fact that I was talking to a babe, in the flesh.

"Oh nothing just uhh."

She drew out her sentence as she reached to her bag and brought out a launch box.

"My mother made food and we had some extra so I thought I'd bring it to you."

She offered the box with both hands as she cocked her head and looked at me sweetly.

My face broke into half nervous half polite smile as i received the box and spoke. "Oh you didn't have to. Thank you so much."

"It's nothing fufufu, enjoy."

She giggled as she bid me farewell, leaving me stunned by the door for a good few seconds, looking at her as she left.

{That's it!}

Greg's voice broke me out of my stupor.

"What's it?"

{Her, dude, her.

You gotta do her, she totally has the hoots for you!}

My face broke into an angry expression as i heard that.

"Shut up. There's no way someone like her likes me.

Even if she does it's still not a viable option.

Should i go and do her just for some exp? What is she an exp farm? An ATM machine for when I wanna level? Jesus have some shame."

{Listen to me dude, maybe she's looking for it. Maybe this is what she wants? Did you see how she looks at you? That's the face of a slut for sure. I could tell behind her innocent gaze.}

"I've had it, how dare you call her a slut! In the years that I've been neighbors with her she's been nothing but kind to me!

Sure she stalks me sometimes, or knocks on my door and checks my room in the middle of the night, and has pictures of me plastered on her room's wall, and that one time put a knife over my throat asking me if I was out with a girl, but that doesn't mean she's into me or something.

You're delusional!"

A few seconds passed after my barrage of explanation, but no reply came.

"Greg?"

I asked hesitantly, wondering if he'd died off or something.

{Dude...} Greg's tone was ominous, and his voice was shaky.

{She a fukcing yandere, she's gonna gut you clean if she ever catches you with a girl how can you be so fucking stupid!? Get out, now! Find a new place, you're in danger, don't ever talk to her again!}

For a moment Greg had me scared, but i couldn't help but facepalm when I heard what he had to say.

Meg, a yandere? Sigh, how stupid could this system get?