Interlude. Lust for Possession
Kouhai-kun has never been rich in emotions. He's almost impossible to read.
I wish him to smile more often.
I wish him to smile.
A smile suits your perfect face so much more. Why then?
In the few years I've been watching him, he's only smiled once.
And even then it was forced and strained.
After that, I decided.
I'll do anything to make him happy. At least a little more.
It took a whole year to carry out my plan.
But I did it.
All that's left is to show the result to Kouhai-kun.
That's the hardest part.
The aura of an unsociable person is always around him.
Of course, this means that no whore can get close to him.
But so am I...
What to do? What to do?
Kouhai, you're a fool! Lonely fool!
...Why is it always so difficult with you...
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The whole first semester, I couldn't even get close to him.
Just his presence makes the air colder.
There's always a distance between him and everyone else. It's like a wall you can't break through.
This wall was also there in middle school. It just got bigger and stronger in high school. Several times.
On the first day, he refused to talk to any of his classmates. He just ignored everyone.
In middle school, even though he was a loner, he still made contact.
And now he speaks only if the teacher asks something on the topic.
But I'm glad.
After all, if I can break through this wall...
Then he will only be mine.
I know there is a very kind and sympathetic person behind this wall of cold.
He just doesn't want to open up to anyone.
I know it.
After all, I've been following him for a very, very long time.
I can't even remember when the urge started.
A dark desire coming from the depths of the heart.
I'm so selfish...
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Today is the first day of the new semester.
So far, I've just been watching from a distance.
It's not enough... I want more...
I have to talk to him. And invite him to the club.
If I push a little, he won't refuse.
I think so...
No, no. I can't think about bad things. It'll work out.
I know him very well. He absolutely will not refuse. Absolutely... exactly…
— …
...If I outsmart him, then for sure!
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As if responding to my pleas, Kouhai is coming right over.
He seems to be thinking hard about something. At this rate, he's going to bump into someone.
Wait, this is my chance!
I walked slowly towards him.
Carefully...
I can't let him see me.
The distance between us was gradually narrowing.
This is the first time I've seen him in person in a month.
I couldn't find him during the summer vacation. He's too good at hiding. Even if he doesn't realize it.
Uh...
Is it really Kouhai?
Has something changed in him?
Before I realized it, we collided and our foreheads bumped into each other.
Uwa...
It hurts a little...
It seemed like I was walking slowly, but still managed to fall.
Was it really Kouhai who was walking so fast?
— Ouch...
Kouhai-kun really hasn't been taught the rules of walking in crowded places.....
It seems that the temperature in the room has become noticeably higher...
It's so hot.
What's this weird feeling in my chest? It feels like it's on fire.
Is it because Kouhai is so close?
I guess I underestimated my attraction to him...
When I watch him from afar, there is nothing like this...
Uh-uh....
I Can't! Need to control myself.
Calm down! You're his Senpai! You have to set an example for him!
Otherwise, he will make a mistake somewhere... He is too young and inexperienced...
I stood up and shook myself off. Then I looked at Kouhai-kun.
He looked at me with slightly clouded eyes. . Looks like he still hasn't come to his senses.
Judging by the red mark on his forehead, he hit pretty hard.
Yet his face didn't show any signs of pain.
An absolutely impartial person. So much so that it's even boring.
I mentally sighed.
Is his face incapable of any other expression?
I don't want to believe it.
No way!
I won't accept it.
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But still... Is it Kouhai?
No, it's Kouhai, it's just a different Kouhai.
Something has definitely changed in him.
It was as if the aura of loneliness, causing a chill down the spine, had slightly weakened.
It definitely became easier to be around him. There is no longer this oppressive feeling.
Has he become more open?
— Ko... Kouhai-kun? It's you, isn't it?
Did I say that out!? No-o-o-o-o!
He'll think I'm weird...
Crap!
I wish I hadn't...
He didn't react at first. He just stared at me. There was something vague in his gaze, but I couldn't make out what it was. Still, it was impossible to read.
Soon he stood up and began to speak.
— ...Sorry, I didn't notice. Yes, Senpai, it's me.
Phew... seems like everything is fine...
I've never talked to Kouhai alone for too long, so I can't tell exactly how he talks. But, it seems to be nothing unusual.
The voice is not imbued with this terrible aura.
It brings relief.
So... everything goes smoothly. I need to get him to talk.
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My cherished dream has just come true...
I finally talked to Kouhai and invited him to the club.
And he said yes!
What else is needed for happiness?
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...No, it's too early to be happy...
The day is not over yet.
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Of course I'm glad... But somehow too easily Kouhai agreed.
He won't join clubs just on request.
He's definitely not that kind of person.
But now he agreed...
Moreover, he answered as if he had already joined.
"— I'll be there."
I didn't even tell you what kind of club it was...
Does he really sleep that badly?
I just wanted to ask him to join...
I didn't want to lie to Kouhai at all, but when everything is going so well...
I'm sorry, Kouhai-kun.
Since everything turned out like this, I need to prepare.
Running to the office, I look for the form he filled out for admission to school. After making a copy, I go back, find the list of participants and take out a pen and a draft.
After several attempts, I get more or less similar to his handwriting.
It remains only to put his name and signature on the list.
– Done ... - a few drops of sweat appeared on my forehead.
I understand that I am doing something that is prohibited by the rules.
I understand that if the deception is revealed, then Kouhai will not pat me on the head.
I understand, but... I can't help myself.
The temptation is too great.
I've been waiting for this day for a whole year. And I don't want to wait a day longer.
The last thing I do is clean up the club room.
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After school, I was already waiting for Kouhai-kun.
Patience is running out...
— Ahhhh... why is the clock going so slow?!
It certainly not broken, aren't it?
I'm checking with the others.
Identically.
- Hmm...
So I just have to wait?
He's coming, isn't he? For sure?
He said he'll come!
Why such distrust?
I'm just too impatient...
Should I go after him?
I can't!
Kouhai will definitely come. He promised...
Promised...
Yes.
That's why I have to wait. As an exemplary Senpai.
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How long has it been?
— Two minutes?!
I thought it was an hour...
Mm-hmm...!
A few more hours (minutes) passed, and there was a knock on the door outside.
Finally!
He came after all...
— Ahem, ahem... Come in.
I managed to gather my willpower into a fist and not snap.
I have to keep a cool head.
It is necessary, but very difficult...
No, no, there is no other way! I have to look decent in front of Kouhai.
— I'm coming in.
Kouhai looks around a bit, then walks to the center of the room and looks around again.
I'm trying my best to stay calm.
It turns out so-so.
My heart is pounding like crazy.
...My head is spinning.
I take a deep breath and calm down.
— You came after all.
Somehow I managed to say it with an impartial tone.
Kouhai hesitates a little.
— Well, then... it won't be for long. I'm going to leave the club.
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... Eh?