1 1: Once upon a time...

If I'm being honest, I don't remember much of it. It's been a while since I've even thought about it, and I can't deny it. I'm not really the brightest. That's why I'm not surprised that it ended like this. Bloodied, broken, and left in an alleyway to die. Hehehe...

Once upon time...

There was a boy in West shibuya. He lived with his parents in a small rented apartment. 

Every day looked the same. Every day felt the same. It was too boring. It was too quiet. My parents never talked to me, and I never talked to them. They were always busy with something, and I was always in a world of my own. We weren't rich, but we weren't poor. We just so happened to live under the same roof. I don't remember them and I don't really care about them.

I spent my life day dreaming during school, pickpocketing when I needed cash, smoking, and occasionally playing the piano. But everything felt like a haze. Until the day I met him. My brother. Well, not my biological brother, but u get the point. Right?

He was different from the others. He wasn't like anyone I'd met before. He was special. His eyes reflected no light, and he always had a smile on his face.

Mizuta Hyoko, he randomly came to my school one day. He walked into my class and made an announcement. "I want to fight someone, if you're interested come meet me at the back of the school."

Everyone looked at him. Many mocked him, some laughed, some were afraid.

"And if no one comes after 10 minutes. I will permanently disable everyone in this room," he said, finally then walking out of the class. Everyone jeered at him and insulted him, but no one went after him. I stood up and left the class, I still don't know how it happened, but almost reflexively, I had walked to the back of the school. Maybe this was what I wanted. Maybe it was fate. Either way, that's what happened.

We stared at each other. He said something, but I wasn't paying attention, and before I knew it. A blur in my eye and a heavy sting in jaw, I fell to the ground. It hurt, I was taken aback, I rose my head to look at him, but he immediately kicked my jaw upward. 

I fell to the ground and curled up like a ball, an endless barrage of stomps that came raging down. I blocked my face with my arms. I peeked for a second, and I saw a satisfied smile on his face. Then suddenly, he stopped.

"You.. you're a weird one, aren't you?" He asked, squatting beside me. "You pretend to be hurt or be feeling pain, but you're smiling under there, aren't you? You're enjoying this."

I didn't even realise it. I really was smiling, my blood was rushing, I wanted to know more about him and more about this thrill I had never experienced before. So I asked him, "If I were to kill you, will I get more excited."

"Why don't we find out," he said with a sickening smile on his face as a fist came rushing toward me. From there, it was a long fight, both of us exchanging blow after blow, getting ourselves bloodied and dirty until finally we both fell to the ground. 

Like little children, we started laughing it was fun and exciting. Not too long, not too short, it was perfect. 

After that, we became quick friends, he hung out together, had fun together, and once in a while fought with each other. It was fun.

He invited me to meet his friends they were easygoing people, but anyone could tell just by looking at them; they were gangsters. But I didn't mind, I liked them too. They looked scary and played rough, but they were kind and only got violent when they needed to be. We had fun together, got into trouble together, and we even started smoking and drinking together. It was like a brand new family, I loved it!.....but slowly it started getting boring. Like we had been together too long, but I kept this to myself.

One day, Hyoko came to me. "Hey, Haruta." I turned him. "Let's kill Gyoko." I froze. Gyoko was one of our friends, his best friend.

"Well?"

"... OK."

It was easy. We invited him for a drink at Hyoko's house. We drank and laughed a bit. It felt so natural, like every other normal day, but suddenly when Gyoko left Hyoko's room. Hyoko nodded at me. He brought out a knife from beneath the rug, and I brought out a tasern gun.we followed him as he entered the bathroom. 

He looked at us bewildered. "Huh?what's up with you guys-" I shot him with the taser gun, and he pissed himself. Immediately, Hyoko rushed at him with the knife and laughed and screamed as he stabbed him continuously. 

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE HER FROM ME?! SHE WAS MINE YOU BASTARD!! I TRUSTED YOU!! I LOVED HER!! FUCKING ROT IN HELL!!!"

"Huh? That's why we're doing this?" I thought to myself as I watched him stab him while screaming and crying. "...boring."

When he finished, he cleaned up. We drained him in the bathtub. Then left his body in the basement. "I didn't feel anything. Maybe it's because I'm not the one that killed him? Next time then,. Huh? Next time? ...what am I even thinking." There was a next time, and a next, and a next, and a next, and a next. But that came later.

2 weeks after Gyoko's murder. I got kidnapped. When I came to, my vision was dark. Something was covering my eyes. When someone took it off me, I saw my friends' corpses in front of me. They had all been shot in the head.

Inaudible voices were talking. I looked to the right, and I saw Hyoko yelling on his knees to people who looked like yakuza members. There were three of them. The place was rundown, probably abandoned.

"IT WASN'T ME!! I AGREE I WAS THE WITH HIM, BUT IT WASN'T ME THAT KILLED HIM!"

"Then why didn't you stop him."

"I-I-I WAS SCARED, he threatened to kill me!"

"Hyoko. The Hyoko was begging for his life. Putting the blame on me. ...Fear..so boring." I thought.

"So you're afraid of death, Hyoko?" They asked him.

"Y-yh-YE-"

BANG. The bullet rang out. Hyoko's body dropped lifeless on the floor.

"Too bad."

"Hahhh, but really killing the boss's son over something small like jealousy. Man, I really don't understand kids these days." 

"Right? But the boss. Really wasn't happy about it. Although he never really liked Gyoko-sama anyway."

"That's probably the only reason we still got our heads attached."

"So...what do with him?" They turned to me. 

"We don't need him anymore, do we? X him."

"Hm? But he seems interesting. Why don't we keep him?"

"Huh? What about him seems interesting?"

"What do you mean look at the big happy smile. He's enjoying this."

Apparently, I started smiling again, and they were right. I was enjoying it, and that's how my life was spared on a whim.

From there, it was like a high-speed roller coaster. One exciting day to another. From drug testing, to training, to hitman killing, to meeting the boss, to betraying the yakuza and joining the mafia, absorbing the yakuza. Taking over as head of the mafia. 

Endless killing, endless girls, endless fun, endless excitement, no matter how many I killed, no matter how many I raped, no matter how many people hunted me down, my heart kept racing, I lived only for the moment and fought only for the thrill.

I wanted more of it. It was never enough, I was addicted, and I hated my boring days.     Give me the thrill.       Give me joy!   More!  Fight and fight! Kill and kill! For no purpose at all!  MORE!   SEND ME TO THE BATTLEFIELD!   COME AFTER MY LIFE!   KILL ME!!!   MORE!!!!    MORE!!!!! 

 MMMMMOOOOORRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Once upon a time; I was a gangster.

I killed.

I raped.

I stole.

And I lived my life without reason.

Feared by all and remembered mostly by the dead.

My life ends here. Cold and alone. Abandoned on the streets.

I lived my life without regrets. Left to bleed to death by my comrades. 

I feel no resentment. 

I feel no pain.

I feel no remorse.

That is all.

The end.