1 One Snowy Night

'The tune is all wrong!' Ronan shouted. The five of them had been practicing for hours but were getting nowhere. Grant put the guitar down, annoyed.

'Ronan, we've been doing this for ages!' he exclaimed. 'All of us are tired.'

'Our performance is tomorrow,' Ronan shot back. 'Do you really wanna perform like this?'

'Calm down Ron,' Casper cautioned. 'You don't have to go bonkers on us.'

'We have been out of practice for months,' Shaun added. 'It's gonna take time for us to get back in the game.'

'Well, we don't have time,' Ronan said curtly. 'Ray what are you doing?' he asked, turning to Ray.

Ray was staring outside. Ronan's voice broke him out of reverie. 'Nothing,' he said. 'It's gonna snow heavily though.'

He pointed outside. The road was completely covered with snow and snowflakes were falling hard. All of them groaned. Everything was a mess. They managed to announce their comeback after a year's hiatus and they were still struggling to sing one song properly.

Some comeback for BASE, Ronan thought bitterly.

As a band, BASE had been performing successfully for five years. Except for Shaun, all of them were in their early twenties. Ronan, the leader and lead vocalist, Grant was the guitarist, Ray was the drummer, Shaun the main vocalist and Casper was the bassist. Non-stop gigs, fans, fame, money. They had it all until their sudden hiatus last year. Now, after one year, they were going to perform again. But something was missing. Ronan couldn't pinpoint what but it was not there.

To think clearly and practice at peace, the five of them came to Rosario's Little Cafe owned by Grant's family.

'Wanna take a break?' Ray asked. He got up and stretched his muscles. He was the tallest of the lot, with sharp, chiseled looks and short red hair. He also had the most female fans.

'Is there anything to eat here?' Shaun asked hopefully. At 19, he was the youngest member. He had jet black hair and olive green eyes. He had a dragon tattoo on his neck containing some Chinese characters. Shaun's uniqueness was his voice. His voice alone could draw in a stadium full of fans.

'It's a cafe, you moron,' Grant said, rolling his eyes. 'Of course there's food.' He ruffled his dirty blond hair. Although the shortest one among them, Grant was muscular. His macho image was popular with the male fans.

'Well then,' Casper said. 'Go get some food Grant.' He let out a loud yawn. His brown eyes were swollen due to the lack of sleep. Casper tied his long hair into a messy bun. Despite his swollen eyes, there was no doubt Casper was the handsomest one among them. His natural charm and witty nature was popular in their interviews.

As for Ronan, at 22, he was the oldest member and an all-rounder in the band. His originally black hair was always dyed with different color. Lately, he was rocking red and yellow colors. His hands were covered with different tattoos. He wrote the songs for the band, all of which were massive hits with the audience. What really set Ronan apart, was his charisma. His stage presence mesmerized audiences. New music always swirled in his head. But at the moment, his mind was full of irritation.

'Can we please focus on our song?' Ronan exclaimed angrily. 'We haven't even finished it!'

'We can't function on an empty stomach,' Casper shrugged. The others nodded in agreement.

'Cas, you just ate an hour ago!' Shaun exclaimed. 'Do you ever stop eating?'

'I like to eat,' Casper shrugged. 'Can't do anything about it. Besides you guys are hungry too.'

'Yeah, we've been practicing for hours!' Grant complained. 'Let's just take a break alright?'

Ronan sighed. He knew that food would do little to improve their performance. 'Do whatever you want,' he conceded. 'Just hurry up.'

Grant and Casper scurried off into the kitchen. Casper slumped onto a couch nearby and fell asleep, while Ray continued to stare outside. Ronan turned his attention to the lyrics. He scribbled out 'holding my hand' before crumpling the paper and throwing it away. He took out another paper and started afresh.

Suddenly Ray stood up.

'Guys,' he said. 'I think there's someone outside.'

'In this heavy snowfall?' Ronan asked skeptically. He went over to the window and peered outside. The snowfall was heavier and it was almost impossible to see anything in the dark. But he could make out the outline of a person slowly shuffling towards the front door. They heard a knock on the door.

'Did I hear someone knocking?' Grant called out from the kitchen.

'There's someone at the door,' Ronan replied. Grant and Shaun came out of the kitchen. Casper was still sound asleep

'Should we let them in?' Ray asked with uncertainty.

'Don't!' Ronan said. 'What if they recognize us?'

'So?' Grant asked.

'What if they record our song on the phone and leak it before our performance?' Ronan pointed out. 'Fans leaked our songs before, ya know. How did someone find us anyway?'

'You're being paranoid,' Grant said.

'What if it's a stalker?' Ronan asked. 'We've been stalked by crazy fans before. You do remember one broke into my house?'

'I doubt anyone knows we are here,' Ray said. 'But Ronan has a point. What if it's a fan? Our song might get leaked.'

There was a loud thud on the door.

'Hello!' Came a girl's voice. 'Is someone in there? Can someone help me?'

'It's a girl,' Shaun said. 'She seems to be in trouble.'

Ronan hesitated. 'I think it's a bad idea,' he said. 'Too risky.'

'We can't leave her out in the snow!' Grant protested. 'A snow storm is approaching.'

'We can't just let a stranger in!' Ronan argued. 'If she recognizes us and puts it on social media, it's just gonna cause unnecessary nuisance. I'm sure she can get help from elsewhere.'

'All the shops on this street are closed,' Grant said. 'It's nearly midnight. The shops closed hours ago because of the storm. And the nearest house is miles away. The roads are blocked as well. Get real Ron. The girl might freeze to death.'

'Grant-' Ron started but was interrupted by an angry outburst.

'Shut it all of you!' Casper was finally awake. He strode past them and unlocked the door. A girl was standing outside. It was too dark to see her face.

'Umm, can I make a phone call?' she asked Casper. 'My phone's battery died.'

Casper nodded and stepped aside to let her in.

'The phone is on the counter,' Grant said.

'Are there more people in here?' the girl asked, surprised. 'It's too dark for me to see anything clearly.'

The guys had been practicing in the dark to avoid attention from passerby. Grant turned on the lights.

The girl's face was covered with two scarves except for her eyes. Underneath a blue jacket she was wearing school uniform and was shivering violently. But her dark eyes widened as soon as she saw the boys properly.

'B-b-b,' she stuttered. 'B-BASE?'

'Don't scream,' Ronan cautioned as he felt her excitement going through the roof. This one was clearly a fan. The girl contained herself with great difficulty.

'BASE?' she squeaked.

'You need to make a call?' Ronan reminded her. 'Make a call and be on your way.'

'Ron,' Ray gritted. 'Don't be rude.'

The girl nodded and stepped towards the counter. She picked up the phone and held it to her ears before frowning.

'It's not working,' she said. 'There's no dial tone.'

'Gimme that,' Ronan said irritably, snatching the phone from her hand. He held it to his ears and dialed a number. She was right. The phone was dead.

'Can I borrow one of your phones?' the girl asked.

'Uhhh…' Ray said. They all looked at each other.

'We didn't bring our phones,' Casper said sheepishly. The girl stared at them, incredulously.

'What?' she asked. 'You guys don't have your phones?'

'We were hiding from our agency,' Grant explained. 'We needed some peace and quiet to practice for our…'

Ronan's gaze silenced him.

'The phone is probably dead because of the storm,' Ronan said curtly. 'It's best for you to leave.'

The girl was dejected.

'Guess I should go,' she said. 'Could you tell me the way to the nearest bus station? Or the subway?'

'The bus stop is two streets away,' Ray replied 'And the subway is near the bus stop. But the buses and subway won't be running in this storm.'

The girl pondered for a minute. 'I can wait at the bus stop,' she said. 'Thanks.'

'You're not serious are you?' Grant asked. 'There's gonna be a snow storm outside.'

But the girl was not listening. She turned on her heel and exited the cafe. This surprised Ronan a little. He expected that she will make an excuse to stay.

'Ron, the girl will die!' Grant exclaimed.

'Fuck,' Ronan cursed. 'I'm going after her.' He was probably going to regret it but Grant was right. They could not leave the girl out in the storm. Ronan grabbed his jacket and sped out after the girl.

'Stop!' he shouted after her. She was walking very fast ahead but he caught up to her. The girl was startled. The snow storm was getting fiercer. Ronan was already shivering. One more minute outside will cause him to frostbite.

'Coma back in,' he said.

'It's fine,' the girl said loudly. The winds were gushing loudly, making it almost impossible to hear anything. Her voice was already hoarse. 'I can wait at the bus stop till the storm stops.'

'You'll probably die by then,' Ron shouted. 'The snow storm will bury you alive. And no one can survive this cold.'

'Yeah, but…' the girl hesitated. 'I can't go back to the cafe. 'It'll be too weird.'

'What's too weird?'

'I can't be alone with five unknown guys!' she blurted.

'But we are BASE!' Ronan exclaimed. 'I thought you're our fan?'

'I am,' she said. 'But that doesn't mean I'll stay alone with you guys during nighttime! What if…'

'None of us will hurt you,' Ronan said. The cold was getting to them. The longer they stay out, the more it will affect them. 'I promise. And as a fan, you should know we never break our promises.'

The girl was still hesitating. 'Achoo!' she sneezed.

'See? You're coming down with a cold,' Ronan scolded her. 'Come with me!'

The girl remained rooted there. She was conflicted, debating whether to take his offer or not.

'Just take a chance for once, Ronan groaned. 'Staying inside the café is better than staying outside and freeze to death!'

She seemed to have no choice. The storm was going to get worse and all the other places on the street were closed. The girl finally nodded.

'Alright,' she said. 'I'll wait at the café till the storm ends.'

'Come on,' Ronan motioned her to follow him and they hurried back to the cafe.

'Turn the heater up to the maximum temperature!' Ronan ordered Grant as soon as he got in.

'Aye aye captain,' Grant said. The girl was shivering badly.

'You can sit on the couch,' Ronan said to the girl. 'It's near the chimney so you'll feel warmer.' The girl hesitated before sitting on the far corner of the couch.

'You can take off your scarves you know,' Shaun said. 'It's warm in here.'

The girl gulped and nervously took off her scarves. She had pale white skin and her auburn hair fell till her shoulder. Judging from her uniform, she was probably a year younger than Shaun. She still looked tensed to be alone with five guys for she was sitting rigidly on the edge of the couch.

'Relax,' Ronan assured her. 'I told you, none of us will harm you.'

The girl nodded but was still defensive. It was natural for her to be skeptical. She was eyeing the boys with a hint of suspicion. They felt a little uncomfortable under her gaze. The awkward silence hung in the air. She nervously tugged the sleeves of her uniform.

'So,' Casper clapped his hands to diffuse the tension. 'What's your name?'

'Emily,' she said.

'Well, Ms. Emily,' Ronan said. 'I am-'

'I know who you guys are,' Emily cut through. 'You guys are BASE. Ronan, Casper, Grant, Ray and Shaun.'

'Oh,' Ronan fumbled. 'Yeah.'

An awkward silence hung in the air. None of them knew what to say next. What does one do when they are trapped with a complete stranger? Ronan wondered. Even Shaun, who was the closest one to her age, was fidgeting.

'So,' Ray broke the silence. 'Why were you out late, Emily?'

'I got lost,' Emily replied sheepishly. 'I came from outer state with my team for a debate competition. Me and my teammates sneaked out for some shopping but I wandered off and got lost. My phone died, so I was looking for a place to call my friends from. But everything was closed. Then I heard you guys singing and thought this place was open. So…'

'Well, the buses will be running once the storm clears off,' Casper said. 'You can go then.'

Emily nodded. She rubbed he hands for warmth. Grant noticed her shivering,

'I'll go and make some coffee for you all,' he announced.

'Good idea,' Shaun said. 'It's freezing.'

'Oh no please don't take the trouble,' Emily said.

'Girl, you're shivering,' Grant said. 'Relax. I was about to make it anyway.'

Before she could protest, he scurried off to the kitchen. Emily looked uncertain. Was it really a good idea to trust these men? She wondered.

'If we wanted to hurt you, we would have done it already,' Ray said, reading her mind. She was startled.

'No, that's not it!' she lied and looked down. The others did not buy it. Ronan rolled his eyes and settled on a chair nearby to concentrate on his lyrics. Ray and Shaun started to play with their instruments while Casper laid his head on a table and went back to sleep. Emily looked around the café.

She recalled reading in a magazine that Grant's parents owned a café. This must be it, Emily thought. It looked exactly as it did in the pictures but bigger. The walls were covered in pink and red stripes with patterns of cupcakes and candies. Round tables were arranged in neat rows with two chairs around them except for a few tables in the front, which were longer and had four chairs. The counter was also surrounded with chairs but the display trays were empty. There was a small door behind the counter with the kitchen sign on it. The couch she was sitting on was next to an unlit chimney and there was another room right across from she was sitting but it was closed. But for a café, it seemed very dull to Emily. Maybe it's livelier during the daytime, she thought. Either that or the food was extremely good.

Emily could imagine the look on her best friend's face 'You met BASE?' Tea would exclaim before tackling Emily to fish out all the details. 'TELL ME MORE,' she would yell and tickle Emily till the latter would yield. Yeah, Tea would go ballistic, she thought. I should get their autograph for her.

She did not have to guess why the BASE members were there, though. Their musical instruments were lying in a corner. They were clearly practicing for their show. Ronan was deeply immersed in his notebook, tearing off pages and cursing every now and then before starting anew. Ray and Shaun were tuning their instruments. Emily walked over to them. They looked up when she approached them.

'Hi!' Shaun greeted. He pulled out a chair for her. 'Take a seat.'

'Thank you,' Emily said.

'Rough night for you, huh?' Ray commented. 'Are you still cold?'

'No, it's a lot better in here,' she said. 'Can I ask why you guys are here?'

'To practice for our show tomorrow,' Shaun replied.

'I meant why you guys are here?' Emily asked. 'Why not practice at the studio?'

'Coz we can't concentrate there,' Ray said simply. He pointed at Ronan, who was furiously scribbling his notebook. 'Ron couldn't write the lyrics for the new songs because the producers kept on interrupting his thoughts. They pestered him with suggestions and comments which only ruined the essence of the songs. That's what Ron claimed at least. So he ordered all of us to ditch our phones and come here to practice. Grant's parents are away and the café is closed till they return. No one's gonna disturb us here.'

'Except, we still haven't finished the song,' Shaun added. 'And it's our first performance after what happened last year…'

'The song is ready!' Ronan announced. He was looking extremely tired. The dark circles under his eyes were very prominent. 'Wake up Cas,' he shook the sleeping Casper. Casper woke up, feeling grouchy and rubbing his eyes.

'Lemme see the lyrics,' Ray said, reaching for the notes. Ronan handed him the song. Shaun peered over Ray's shoulder to read the lyrics.

'I don't fit in…' Ray read aloud. 'I am too afraid to reveal myself. I feel like a trash…'

'Unwanted and unloved, as I berate myself over everything,' Shaun continued. Casper leaned over to read as well. 'A loser, a loner who cannot love,' he read. 'A loser, an outcast. Coward, why don't you face yourself?'

He shared a skeptical look with the other two. Even Emily, who was no expert in lyric writing, felt the song was bland.

'Well?' Ronan asked, tapping his foot. 'How is it?'

'Err…' Shaun said.

'Uhh…' Ray started. 'Well…'

'It sucks,' Casper said bluntly. 'The lyrics are horrible.'

Ronan looked as if someone slapped him. 'I spent days coming up with this song,' he said furiously. 'This is the only thing we have. And now you're saying the lyrics suck? That too a day before our gig?'

'Ron, we couldn't help it,' Ray said. 'These lyrics…they are just not as good as our other songs.'

'Yeah,' Shaun agreed. 'It's hard to like this song.'

Ronan was furious. He was angry at the members; angry because they didn't understand the work he put in this song. He spent sleepless nights thinking up the lyrics and perfecting the words. But all his hard work was put to waste.

'Can I have a look at those lyrics?' Emily asked. All of them looked at her, surprised.

'Sure,' Casper said, handing her the notes. She read the lyrics. It was clear to her that something was missing. She could not pinpoint it. Tea was their hard core fan. What would Tea have thought of these lyrics? 'One doesn't listen to BASE's songs,' Tea had said. 'You gotta feel them.'

'Hmm, it's an okay song,' Emily said. 'But it's more of a commercial song.'

She looked up at them.

'What do you mean it's a commercial song?' Ronan demanded. 'All our songs are commercialized. The albums bring in millions of dollars.'

'The albums do well commercially,' she agreed. 'Because the songs were relatable. They had a life of their own. People could relate to the songs, understand the feelings behind them because they go through such experiences every day.'

The boys looked at her quizzically, as if she spoke a different language.

'What do you mean that our songs were relatable?' Ronan asked. 'We just sang songs which expressed our feelings.'

'Exactly,' Emily said. 'Your songs held your feelings. Things you actually experienced and those were carried over to the listeners. The fans loved the raw emotions conveyed through your songs. But this… this song is lifeless. No doubt the hard core fans would love it. But it's very forgettable. Most fans would be disappointed.'

'I agree with her,' Casper said. 'This just doesn't sound like us.'

'Ron, maybe we should change the song,' Ray suggested. 'We still have time. We can just perform one of our old songs for tomorrow.'

'We can't,' Ronan said curtly. 'We promised a new song and we will perform a new one.'

'But-' Shaun started but Ronan was not listening. Ronan snatched the notes from Emily's hand, tore them to shreds and stormed off to the other room across the café, slamming the door behind him. He had enough criticism from an immature brat.

Emily was taken aback. She was just being honest. Ronan clearly hated criticisms of his songs. His attitude was annoying her. It wasn't her fault that he couldn't write a decent song. Her hands were trembling. Not from the cold but with anger. She felt like throwing something at his overgrown head. Shaun noticed her annoyance.

'Don't mind him,' he told her. 'He has been cranky and moody for months.'

'Doesn't give him the right to treat people like shit!' she snapped. 'Why do you guys put up with him anyway?'

'He's our friend,' Ray said. 'And despite his tantrums, he's not a bad person. It's just…everything is too overwhelming for him.'

Emily snorted sarcastically. She doubted the guy was overwhelmed with anything other than his own failure to write a song.

'Food is ready!' Grant announced, coming out of the kitchen carrying a trolley. He wasn't just bringing out coffee. The trolley consisted of different varieties of food which Emily only saw on TV. The plates held cashew nut salad with large slices of cooked steak along with bowls of creamy pasta. There were also cheesecakes of different flavor. Emily could only make out the chocolate and the red velvet one. The rest of them looked unfamiliar.

'When did you make all this?' she asked in wonder. He couldn't have been gone for more than an hour.

'The steaks were in prep for a long time,' Grant said. 'I made your one after you arrived, so it took me a while. The cakes were from our storage. Mom left them this evening before leaving. Come on now everyone. Let's all have dinner.'

All of them settled on a big table while Grant served the plates. The delicious smell made Emily realize that she was starving. She didn't eat anything for hours.

'Isn't he gonna eat?' she asked pointing at the closed door behind them.

'He's vegan,' Casper informed her. 'He won't eat these.'

'Besides, he drinks nothing but juice and vegan protein shakes before any performance,' Grant said, shaking his head.

Ray clasped his hands together and bowed his head in prayer. His members followed suit. Emily was perplexed. She didn't know how Christian prayers worked.

'Do you want to say a prayer too?' Grant asked.

'I-I was raised as an atheist,' Emily admitted sheepishly. Admitting her atheism usually brought upon a lot of unwanted attention from people. They either gave her strange looks as if she was a freak or remarked how brave she was to admit her atheism. Both bothered her. She didn't see it as anything strange or brave. It was just a normal thing for her. Tea was the only one who didn't care about it. The first time Emily told her, Tea replied, 'What'll I do with that information? Eat it?'

Unsurprisingly, Shaun and Grant were awed. 'Whoa,' they said in unison. Ray frowned a bit but he let it go and Casper was more interested in food. Emily lowered her head and began to eat.

'This is really delicious,' she said, changing the subject. 'Did you cook it?'

'Yes,' Grant relied happily. 'I'm the cook in the group. Mom made the dessert though.'

'I do recall your parents own this café,' Emily commented.

'Yeah,' he said. 'I bought it for them on lease. They always wanted to run a café. Mom and dad were ecstatic when they opened this place. Never saw them so proud.'

He beamed proudly.

'Yeah, they must have been,' Emily said. 'You guys did struggle a lot to get where you are now.'

The boys looked at each other. And then laughed.

'What happened?' Emily asked, confused. 'Why're you all laughing?'

'Ms. Emily,' Shaun said, choking on his laughter. 'How much do you know about us?'

'I know that you all have been childhood friends,' she replied. 'All of you lived on the same street at Compton. That place is known for its crimes and poverty. All of you were really poor but shared a passion for music…'

The boys laughed again, almost tearing up.

'You actually believe that?' Ray asked as he controlled his laughter. 'Only Cas and I grew up in Compton. And I assure you, despite the crime rates and poverty there, we definitely did not grow up in it. In fact our parents were well off.'

'What?' Emily exclaimed. 'Then what about those things you said in the interviews?'

'Made up stuff,' Grant replied. 'The whole story of all of us being poor and destitute is made up. We weren't inherently rich but none of us were living in dire conditions. In fact we didn't even meet till we were in our late teens.'

This was news to Emily. She doubted even their hard core fan Tea knew about this.

'How long have you guys known each other?' Emily asked suspiciously. 'I know you all claim you've been childhood buddies and what not, but how true is it?'

'Ron and Grant met through mutual friends when they were fifteen,' Shaun said. 'Ray and Casper met them in high school. I joined them after meeting for auditions at our agency.'

'Why do you guys say that you all were childhood friends then?' she asked.

'PR,' Ray replied. 'People like the story of a group of struggling boys coming together to make music, fighting against all odds.'

'Plus, sob stories make great marketing strategies,' Casper added, taking large spoonful of food. He was on his second helping already. 'At least according to our producers. They don't care how we came together as long as the altered story brings in money.'

'Fake story you mean,' Emily said drily.

'Nope. Altered,' Casper corrected. 'In showbiz, you don't sell fake stories. You sell the half-truth. Coz fake stories can be exposed. But when it comes to half-truths, it's hard to expose.'

'How come?'

'It's difficult to say which part of the story is fake,' Grant said. 'Fans only want to see what they perceive as the truth. So when they see the true half, they assume the fake half is true too.'

All of it sounded gibberish to Emily. How can lies be truth? She didn't know what they were talking about.

'Do you guys say weird stuff all day?' she asked. 'Coz none of that makes any sense.'

'It's not supposed to,' Shaun said, taking a bite of his steak. 'We didn't understand either until we started to live like that. In fact, we conjured up fake memories so many times, that they seem real now.'

'So all those songs about suffering and poverty…' Emily started.

'Well, Ronan writes those,' Grant said. 'He's a really good storyteller and it reflects in his lyrics.'

He must be really good at making them up, Emily thought. She remembered Tea used to cry at their songs. 'They must have gone through so much,' she said in between her tears. 'Especially Ronan.'

'How can you be so sure?' Emily asked skeptically. 'He could just be faking it.'

'No matter how good of a lyricist he might be, there has got to be an immense amount of suffering behind those lyrics,' Tea had insisted.

Tea's inner fangirl had no limit especially when it came to BASE. Emily sometimes wondered what went inside that girl's head. She'll freak out when she finds out the truth, Emily thought, suppressing a smile.

'It's kind of sad though,' Emily said.

'What is?' Grant asked.

'You guys are living a life of lies,' she said. They all looked up, with curiosity in their eyes. She blushed. 'I mean, the lies you have to tell about yourselves,' she said, flabbergasted. 'It must take a toll.'

'You have no idea,' Ray snorted bitterly.

'Doesn't everyone live a life of lies?' Casper asked, stuffing more cake into his mouth. Shaun frowned at him.

'Cas, how many cakes did you eat?' he asked.

'Four,' Casper replied, piling his plate with more pasta. 'Oh come on,' he rolled his eyes at Shaun's chagrin. 'We've been practicing for hours. I'm hungry.'

'This is your fifth plate bro,' Grant said. 'Leave some food for the lady.'

'Fine,' Casper said. 'I'll go to the kitchen and see if there's more food.'

Before Grant can say something, Casper strode off into the kitchen and vanished.

'Is it me or has he been eating too much?' Grant frowned.

'He was always a binge eater,' Ray said. 'You know his appetite has no limit.'

Grant looked worried. He exchanged a look with Shaun.

'I'm done eating,' Emily said. 'I'll go and keep the plate in the sink.'

'Let me do it,' Grant offered.

'Oh no please,' Emily said. 'You're not done eating yet. I'll go and keep it.'

She got off the table and headed towards the kitchen. Casper was sitting in front of the fridge, with a large plate of cakes and brownies. His mouth was stuffed with dessert.

'Casper?' Emily called him. He was startled, struggling to swallow his food.

'Sorry,' he said, finally managing to gulp down the food in his mouth. His eyes were teary. 'Didn't hear you come in.'

'Are you okay?' Emily asked.

'I'm fine,' he said nonchalantly, taking another mouthful of cake. Emily said nothing. She silently made her way out of the kitchen, shutting the door behind her.

As soon as she exited the kitchen, she bumped into Shaun. He was holding a plate with a half-eaten cake which fell on Emily's shirt.

'Shit!' Shaun cursed. 'I am so sorry, Emily. I didn't mean to…'

'That's fine,' Emily said. The shirt was going to stain. 'Where's the washroom?' she asked him.

'It's in that room,' he said, pointing towards the room across the hall. 'Careful though. Ron's in there. He might be in a foul mood.'

'I'll be careful,' Emily sighed. She headed towards the room. She slowly opened the door and peered inside.

Ronan was sitting on a desk, with his back towards the door. He was completely engrossed into his writing. Emily quietly tiptoed past him and reached for the washroom.

'There's no water.'

She turned around to face Ronan. He was looking up at her.

'The washroom's out of order,' he said.

'Oh,' Emily said. 'I just needed to clean this cake stain.'

Ronan picked up his backpack and took out a bottle of water.

'You can use this,' he said.

'Thanks,' Emily replied awkwardly. She took the bottle from him and went into the washroom.

It's a strange night, Emily thought as she cleaned the stain. Everything was surreal to her. Never in a million years would she have thought that getting lost in an unknown city will lead her to meet the members of BASE. She desperately wanted to talk to Tea. But her best friend was far away from her.

Emily got out of the washroom. Ronan was crumbling another piece of paper and lay down his head on the table.

'No luck with the song?' she asked. He didn't respond.

'I'm sorry if I offended you earlier,' she said sheepishly. 'I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.'

He remained silent. Emily turned to leave.

'You were telling the truth,' he said. Emily turned around. He was looking at her. 'You were right,' he said. 'My song sucked.'

'It didn't suck,' Emily said, feeling a bit defensive. 'It just lacked…something.'

'It lacked a soul,' Ronan said. 'It didn't have any feelings.'

'I honestly can't tell,' Emily admitted. 'I don't understand lyric writing. I just knew that I didn't get the same feeling as always whenever I heard your songs.'

'Nor did I,' Ronan smiled. 'That song sucked.'

The honest admission caught Emily by surprise. Just an hour ago he was giving her murderous looks. His bipolar moods were tiring her. And now he was admitting his failure so openly.

'Take a seat,' he said, drawing out a chair for her. Emily was apprehensive. His sudden friendliness was unnerving.

'I won't bite,' he said, reading her mind. 'We got off to a bad start but we can gloss over it, can't we? Besides, I really don't want to be alone right now.'

Emily was still apprehensive. But she decided to let go of it and sat down next to him.

'I haven't really asked,' Ronan said, drawing out another piece of paper. 'Where are you really from? You said outer state but never mentioned which one.'

'Missouri,' Emily replied. 'I know it's a long way from here.'

'How was your debate competition?' he asked. 'Did you win?'

'We got annihilated,' Emily laughed. 'The other team was too good. We were amateurs anyway.'

Ronan laughed. 'Debates were never my thing,' he said. 'Music was always my soul mate.'

'Is it true that the stories you depicted in your songs are fake?' Emily asked. 'The others were saying that most of the stories about your hardships are made up.'

Ronan gave her a long, hard look. Emily immediately regretted asking that question.

'I'm sorry,' she apologized. 'I shouldn't have asked. I swear I won't tell anyone about what they said.'

Ronan sighed. 'Those guys always had big mouths,' he said. 'They can never keep anything in.'

'So what they said was true,' Emily said. It made her feel a little betrayed. The songs she heard and loved turned out to have fake feelings.

'Their ones are partly fake,' Ronan replied.

'Their ones?' Emily caught on to his phrase. 'What about you?'

'What about me?'

'Are your stories fake too?'

'Which stories are you referring to?' Ronan asked.

'You know,' Emily pressed. 'About your life. Coming from a poor family, having to struggle your way up, never giving up on your passion for music…'

'I come from a well off family,' Ronan said. 'I had more privileges than most people.'

'So the feelings you portrayed through your songs were…fake?' Emily whispered. Her voice quivered. She did not know how to react to this.

Ronan pondered for a while. 'I had more privileges than most people,' he repeated slowly. 'But no. The feelings in my songs weren't fake. Having privileges doesn't make one happy.'

'What do you mean?' Emily asked.

'Do you remember our song "Lullaby"?' he asked.

'Yes,' Emily replied. 'That was the first song I heard by BASE.'

'Do you remember the lyrics?'

'Yes!' Emily said excitedly. 'It went something like this.'

She cleared her throat and broke into a song.

'I once heard a lullaby

In the pitch black darkness

A voice sang me a lullaby

Cradling me till I fall asleep

The sweet melody came into me

Until it choked me

I once heard a lullaby

Caressing me like silk

Tying my body to its charm

Engulfing me with an embrace…'

Suddenly Emily stopped singing. A cold shiver ran up her spine. She could not sing anymore. The lyrics which used to soothe her, suddenly made her sick.

'Well?' Ronan asked quietly. His eyes were directly looking into hers.

'Those lyrics,' she said. 'Those lyrics…are the referring to…were you…'

She could not find words to ask what was in her mind. She did not dare to ask it aloud. Ronan was silent.

'Who was it?' she whispered. 'Who did this to you?'

'Does it matter?' Ronan asked. 'It was a long time ago.'

'Why don't you speak up?' she demanded.

'Do you speak up about your problems?' he countered.

'What do you mean?'

Without warning Ronan grabbed her wrist and pulled up her sleeve. Emily tried to cover her hand but the damage was done. He saw the multiple scars on her arm.

'Why don't you talk about your scars?' Ronan asked quietly. 'You didn't come here for a debate competition, did you?'

Emily was still for a moment before shaking her head.

'I was sent here for therapy,' she admitted.

'Why?' he probed gently.

Emily remained silent. She could not talk about it. Not there. Not to him.

Ronan got the hint. She did not want to talk about the scars. She wasn't ready. She'll probably never be ready, Ronan thought.

'Does your therapy work?' he asked.

'No,' Emily replied. 'Nothing worked. I tried every kind of therapy but it just didn't work. So I decided to leave the rehab and go back home. But I got lost and ended up here.'

She fell silent. Ronan did not probe her further. It was best not to force her.

'How did you know about the scars?' she asked.

'When you were tugging your sleeves earlier, I saw a glimpse,' he replied. Emily lowered her eyes.

'I feel so ashamed,' she said quietly. Her eyes started to tear up. 'Can't even fight my own demons.'

'Don't feel ashamed,' Ronan said harshly. 'There's nothing to be ashamed of. Defeat is not failure. Try again and again to fight back. You've got a long way to go. It's just the beginning.'

His strictness put her at ease. Hearing words of encouragement from a stranger felt more assuring.

'Your songs got me through a lot of difficult times,' Emily said.

'Really?' Ronan asked astonished.

'Yes,' she nodded. 'From the moment my best friend, Tea, introduced me to your songs, I've found it easier to endure some of my worst depressive episodes. Your songs really have a soul.'

'Had,' Ronan corrected her bitterly. 'They had a soul. Now they are lifeless. Since last year, none of my songs had any soul left.'

'You mean after that…incident?'

BASE's hiatus was not a planned one. They were at the peak of their careers and were about to release two more albums last year. But it all came to halt after one incident; an incident which claimed the life of a person.

'What really happened that night?' Emily asked.

'You must have read it in the news,' Ronan shrugged. 'Casper and I were heading for the studio from a party. I was driving. And I ended up hitting a pedestrian on the road. Since I wasn't drunk, the police reported it as an accident but the internet backlash against me forced the group into a hiatus. That's it.'

'You're lying,' Emily stated. Ronan looked at her.

'What do you mean by that?' he asked defensively.

'You weren't driving were you?' she asked.

'Yes I was,' Ronan insisted. 'I was driving the car.'

'Ronan, I think we can drop the lies,' Emily said. 'I think both of us know who was really driving the car.'

Ronan took a deep breath. She was right. After their honest heart to heart exchanges, there was no way he can lie to her.

'It was Casper who was driving,' he confirmed her assumption. 'He was a bit drunk but he was sober. The pedestrian already crossed the road but he dropped something on the road. He suddenly dived back to pick it up when our car hit him. It was an accident. Any car could have hit him. But Casper was drunk and the police would have arrested him if they found out he was the one driving. So I took his place. The police concluded it was an accident and let us go.'

'But it was impossible to escape the scrutiny,' Emily said.

'Yes,' Ronan nodded. 'The news went viral and people sent me hate messages. Killer, murderer, criminal. These words became recurring tags. Casper wanted to come clean, but I forbade him.'

'Is that why you're facing a writer's block?' Emily asked. 'Their hate affected you more than you think.'

'Who knows,' Ronan said. 'I just don't feel anything anymore.'

'And Casper?' she asked. 'You know what's happening to him His constant eating and withdrawn attitude? Surely you noticed it?'

Ronan did not reply. He knew Casper's guilt was eating him inwardly and in turn led the latter to binge eat. He wanted to help his friend. Snap him out of it. But nothing had any effect.

'Tomorrow's gig is my last hope,' Ronan confided. 'It's the only way I can think of to give Casper a hope to live again. The only times he was truly alive were when he was on stage. He loves being with us on stage. Tomorrow's gig will be the decisive factor in pulling him out of his guilt. I know it. I just do.'

'His problem won't go away when he gets off the stage,' Emily reminded him.

'I know,' he said. 'But it will give him the strength to fight it. It will.'

Ronan was saying this to himself than to her. He had to convince himself that this was the only way to help his friend.

'Well, in the end, we can't really let go of our memories,' Emily said. 'They'll haunt us forever.'

'Haunt, eh…' Ronan trailed off into his thoughts. 'Haunt…'

Emily let out a yawn.

'You're sleepy,' Ronan said. 'You can sleep in this room. I'll go outside.'

'No that's okay,' Emily said, stifling another yawn. 'I should go…'

'No no,' Ronan insisted, with an excited gleam in his eyes. 'You can sleep here. I'm gonna go and meet my members. I think I got my inspiration for the lyrics. Thanks a lot.'

He grabbed his stuff and hurried out of the door, leaving Emily very confused.

The others were sound asleep. Ray and Casper slept with their head down on a table while Shaun slept on the couch and Grant on the floor.

'Guys wake up!' Ronan clapped. 'Wake up!'

Shaun woke with a start while Grant groggily rubbed his eyes.

'Whaz goin' on?' Grant yawned. Ronan shook Ray and Casper.

'I got the lyrics for our new song,' he said excitedly. 'We all are going to work on it. Wake up you lazy asses.'

'Lyrics?' Ray yawned.

'Song?' Casper asked sleepily.

'Yes you morons!' Ronan said. 'Now wake up!'

Ronan drew out a chair and took out more papers. The members groaned and took the seat around him. As the minutes flew by, their sleep was gradually replaced with excitement. As Ronan explained about the new song the members began to regain their zeal.

'So what do you think?' Ronan asked after two hours. It was nearly 3 am in the morning and they had not slept a wink. But sleep was the least of their worries.

'Brilliant!' Grant exclaimed.

'This can be our best work yet!' Shaun said. Ray nodded in agreement while Casper gave a small smile. Ronan patted his back.

'We'll get through this,' Ronan assured him. 'We will. Let's have faith in ourselves.'

'Thanks,' Casper said and hugged Ronan. The other members looked on, surprised.

'What was that about?' Ray asked.

'Just felt like it,' Casper said. 'Let's get to work then?'

They spent the next three hours, practicing their new song, tuning and retuning it until they finally perfected it.

'It's morning already?' Shaun commented.

Ronan looked outside. Light was shining through the window. It was morning already. The snow storm stopped. The snowplows would be there soon to clear the roads.

'I think the subway would be running now,' Grant said.

'We should wake her up,' Ray said.

'I'll go,' Casper said. He strode off to the other room.

Emily was sleeping soundly with her head down when Casper woke her up.

'Emily,' he tapped her back gently. 'It's morning.'

She slowly opened her eyes.

'It's morning already,' Casper said. 'The subways will be running soon.'

Emily jerked up. Casper led her out of the room. The others were packing up their equipment.

'I should get going,' she informed them.

'Stay for breakfast,' Shaun insisted. 'We're gonna leave afterwards anyway. We'll escort you till the subway station.'

'Yeah, stay for a while,' Ray said. The others murmured in agreement.

'No, that's fine,' Emily said. 'I really want to catch the first train home. It's gonna be a long ride anyway. Might as well start early.'

'Don't you wanna hear our new song?' Ronan asked. 'I think you'll like it.'

'Nah,' Emily said. 'Don't ruin the surprise. It'll be more fun to wait for it rather than hear it right away. I'd rather hear it when it's released.'

'Oh come on, just stay for a while,' Casper requested.

'I'd love to guys, really,' Emily said. 'But I gotta go. I'm sorry.'

She gave them a sad smile. Farewells were always difficult for her.

'Fine,' Ronan said. 'We'll let you off.'

Emily smiled at him. 'Thank you all for your hospitality,' she said. 'I really appreciate your help.'

'We really liked having you around last night,' Shaun said. 'Wish we could have spent more time with you. You sure you don't wanna listen to the song?'

'I'll listen to the song. I will,' Emily said, giving him a sad smile. 'But not like this. I'd rather see you all performing it on the stage, the place you guys love so much. I'll feel better seeing you perform on that stage rather than here.'

She looked at all of them.

'I really had a good time with you all,' she said sincerely. 'I don't know if we'll ever meet again, but thank you for the help. It's been wonderful. Really. But I should go now.'

'We were glad that you came in last night,' Ronan said.

'Yeah kid,' Grant said. 'It was great to have more company. Call us when you get there. I'll give you all of our numbers.'

Emily nodded. Casper walked up to her.

'Care to give a farewell hug?' he asked with a smile. Emily smiled and hugged him. 'Take care, Emily,' he said, letting her go.

'Do come by if you're in town,' Casper said.

'I will,' Emily said. 'I promise. And thanks.'

She hugged Shaun, Grant and Ray before turning to Ronan.

'Take care, Emily,' he said, patting her on the head.

'You too,' Emily said.

She walked towards the exit before turning to wave them goodbye.

'See you soon,' she waved at them as she exited the door.

'I'm glad she was here last night,' Grant said as they saw her disappear down the road. 'It felt like a fateful encounter. What do you think Ronan?'

Ronan smiled at him. He didn't know whether the meeting was a plan of fate or just a coincidence. Whatever it was, he knew that after their night at Rosario's Little Café, he felt a little better than he had all year.

*********************************************************************************

Few days later

Emily was carrying a bouquet of lilies. It had been a week since she came back home. Her parents were worried about her failed treatment but she reassured them that she will be restarting it again. But first, she needed to sort out some unfinished work.

That morning, she dressed up and headed out towards the woods near their town. The woods were not dense. There was a small clearing in them where Emily and Tea used to play. Their favorite spot in the woods was near an ancient banyan tree. As she walked up the narrow path, she ran into a skinny, middle aged woman.

'Hi Mrs. Ferguson,' she greeted.

'Emily!' Mrs. Ferguson exclaimed. 'I'm surprised to see you here! When did you get back?'

'A few days ago,' Emily said.

'How did your treatment go?' Mrs. Ferguson asked gently. 'Are you taking your medications?'

'Honestly, it didn't go that well,' Emily admitted. Mrs. Ferguson looked at her sympathetically.

'Honey, I am so sorry,' she said, dabbing tears off her eyes. 'I know it's been hard for you.'

Emily took her hand and squeezed it. 'It's okay Mrs. Ferguson,' Emily assured her. 'I think it's time I fight back everything I've been repressing. I'll do my best from now on. Defeat is not failure.'

Mrs. Ferguson smiled at her. She kissed Emily's forehead and hugged her tightly.

'Where is Tea?' Emily asked, when they let go. 'I have something for her.'

'She is beside the banyan tree,' Mrs. Ferguson replied. 'Go say hi to her.'

'I will,' Emily said. She bid goodbye to Mrs. Ferguson and headed for the banyan tree. When she reached the tree, she saw a small rectangular stone erected beside the tree. Writing was etched on it.

Here lies Tea Ferguson

Daughter, Friend and Dreamer

18th August 1992- 5th May 2007

'Hi Tea,' Emily said, laying down the bouquet on the grave. 'Sorry for not visiting you.'

She sat down next to the grave.

'Were you lonely without me?' Emily asked softly. 'I'm sorry for not talking to you often.'

Tears were streaming down her face. The feelings which she suppressed for two years were now resurfacing. Emily bowed down her head and sobbed uncontrollably. Once the tears started flowing, it was hard to stop. She did not want them to stop. For a while, she let her emotions flow wildly, as she cried her heart out.

Finally collecting herself, she took out her phone.

'Guess what?' she said. 'I met BASE. Yes. Your favorite BASE. Here's what happened…'

She recounted the story of the night, how she was stuck in Rosario's Little Café with the members of BASE and every moment she spent with them.

'You must be so jealous now,' Emily said. 'I was inwardly imagining your face when you'd find out that I met BASE! And now I have their new song too.'

Emily burst into laughter before it was replaced by fresh flow of tears.

'I'm sorry I wasn't there for you,' Emily wailed. 'I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.'

She turned on the music in her phone. A song played through the silence in the woods.

The crimson scent lingers in the air

Forgetting you is my despair

Day by day, your memories haunt me

The broken pieces I couldn't repair

Your image I want to see, I cling on to it tightly

In the sea of unknown faces, I look for you

Among all these people, all these faces

STOP CROWDING AROUND ME

Within the storm, I look for you

Little lost lamb

Don't let the phobia engulf you

The moon shines, ever so bright

Upon their faces pale white

No mercy for the guilty, no mercy even in death

The moon shrouds her light away

As the long night turns from silver to grey

It'll be alright my friend

The sun shall rise once again

In the fading darkness the dark night shall pass by

As the clock ticks on, the times of year old shall once again come by…