Gamsey Games

(WARNING: Sexual Innuendos are ripe in this chapter)

"So, let us begin with the first breakfast bash!" Mistress Child says, walking over to a display container with a cloth covering it. "In here, is one, famous breakfast food that everybody loves lies. Our chefs will have to cook it… but as always, there's a twist."

The audience is at the edge of their seats, eager to see what the first challenge.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let us begin… the CREAM PIE RUMBLE!" Mistress Child roars, ripping off the cover to reveal a large cream pie with a cherry on top.

"True chefs not only need to know how to cook delicious food but also need to learn how to cook food of different textures. For the Cream Pie Rumble, the challenge for our chefs is to bake a cream pie that, when thrown at someone's face, will stick no matter how much cleaning is done!"

Rex frowns. This seemed less a cook-off and more a 'who had the stickiest cream' challenge. In fact, making sticky cream didn't even seem unique to chefs. Anyone who had enough motivation could probably make some nasty sticky cream and shove it in a pie.

Mistress Child continues. "While taste of the sticky cream will of course be evaluated, it is only 20 out of a hundred points with cream consistency, cream pie quality and adhesive ability being front and center. So, without further ado, CREAM YOUR PIES!!!"

The chefs all get to work immediately. Any true baker knew that the filling was the essence of a pie, and without delicious, smooth cream, no cream pie was truly complete.

However, to make a particularly sticky cream… One would need specialized tools and ingredients.

"Harden you soft noodle!" Wanze roared out at his noodle crust. Without a hard noodle, his entire cream pie would fall apart, so Wanze needed his noodle as hard as possible.

Meanwhile, Buche was having the opposite problem. "It's too hard." He complained, feeling that it would be impossible for the sticky white cream to break out of his hard, rocklike crust. "The cream can't get out!"

All the chefs encountered some roadblocks at first, slowly finding solutions. Some chefs didn't make enough cream to fill their pies and sulked impotently while others had made too much cream and their pies were overflowing. Some had cream that was too thick, others too thin.

Eventually, all the chefs had created a satisfying cream pie.

"Now, let the testing, BEGIN!"

Several people in clown make up ran over grabbing the pies and walking over to several attendants.

"Steady! Take aim!" Mistress Child shouts, causing the clowns to bring the pies to their ear. "and… FIRE!"

Then, simultaneously, hundreds of pies go flying into the air, each landing in the face of a waiting attendant.

The reaction of each pie is different. Some are overbaked, and thud into the attendants face without releasing their sweet cream, failing the test altogether. Others release their cream, but the cream is deemed too thick or too lacking for a true cream pie.

Then, there are those who succeed. Their attendants' faces are dripping with white, sticky cream as they taste it with orgasmic bliss.

"Please more!" One attendant asks.

Rex feels awkward, like he should turn away from this scene, but he sees Bonney licking her lips.

"Evaluations are in!" Mistress Child says, not revealing the score. "Now, for the next challenge! The ROCK-HARD TOAST CHOP!!"

Soon after Mistress Child announces it, the attendants bring out several burnt, hardened pieces of toast.

"As you all know, chefs all make mistakes! In this simulation, you have burnt an important, valuable toast, meant to be offered to a very influential food critic."

There are many gasps in the audience as many of them were either chefs or food critics. Such a mistake… was unforgivable in their eyes.

"Your job is to salvage the dish by scraping off all the burnt crust and serving the toast. But be warned! This toast is rare, obsidian toast and is extremely difficult to cut into when burnt! NOW BEGIN!"

The chefs get moving at once, looking at the large black lump of matter. Most of them had never seen such an odd, rocklike lump of bread, and were curious as to how to proceed.

Some attempt to make delicate cuts into the bread, so as to preserve the insides but found themselves unable to make a dent into the obsidian toast. Others, go for massive swings, and cause their internal dough to crumble.

Rex keeps a close eye on his candidates for this particular challenge. Goldberg uses his massive strength to crumble the burnt edges. Hatchan is able to shave the obsidian toast with his Rokutoryu, while Thatch uses Nitoryu. As for Patty… is he using a trident?

Rex shakes his head. It was as he expected, all three of them were skilled chefs.

"Hey captain… can we get them all?" Bonney asks, looking from chef to chef like a child told they can only have one toy.

"You want all three of them?" Rex asks incredulously. "That's not entirely impossible but…"

"No, I want them all!"

Rex shakes his head at this. His kitchens would barely fit Goldberg, forget about all of the chefs in here.

No, Rex needed to choose one.

"So, are you liking the show?" Rex asked Tiger and Jinbe.

"Humans have always been good at these kinds of pointless spectacles." Jinbe says simply, shaking his head at the resources that had been dumped into this contest.

Tiger nods. "On Fishman Island, there is far too much poverty to allow for such an extravagant waste of food."

"And you think that isn't the case here?" Rex asks. "Human kingdoms have poverty too, it's just that human kings are jerks who don't care about their poor."

Tiger nods, finding something the two can certainly agree on.

Meanwhile, the cooking contest goes on, with challenge after challenge.

There is the Greased-up Gauntlet for lunch, where the chefs have to cook on an open fire while covered with oil, Patty drops out in this one. Then a Honey Glazed Hog-race for afternoon tea where Goldberg is forced out.

After those, there is a stomach rice cook-off, where contestants ate uncooked rice and boiled water to make rice in their stomachs. Noodle-Ranching where the contestants would ranch whatever they cooked for supper with noodles. And now…

"DESERT TIME!" Child roars out, shaking the stands with anticipation.

Rex had long decided to pick Thatch as he seemed both more apt of a chef and more interesting of a person. Still, he had to admit a genuine curiosity as to whether or not Thatch would win it all.

"For dessert, our challenge is simple!" Child says with a vicious glare. "Cook a delicious desert, using a typically umami ingredient. As for our chosen ingredient, it is OCTOPUS…"

Rex scrunches his brow as he feels an odd premonition come about him.

"…FISHMAN!" As that word falls, a dozen burly attendants grab Hatchan's six arms tying him down to a table.

Tiger and Jinbe get up, raring to fight, but a dozen combatants seem to fall out of thin air to block them. This was not going to be a simple contest.

Rex clenches his fist in anger. This was his fault.

Moving immediately, Rex punches out into the stomach of one of the bouncers, knocking him out in one attack. While the bouncers were strong, maybe even good enough to be well-known pirates in any blue, they were too weak in front of him.

"I apologize for the commotion!" Child says with an evil chuckle. "Some of our ingredients are going wild!!"

Buche, Wanze and most other chefs just grin, seeing no problem with cooking up a live fishman. Rex notices however, that Thatch has a complicated expression on his face.

Gritting his teeth, Rex notices that an attendant is walking towards Hatchan with a large axe. Needing no imagination to comprehend the dire nature of this encounter, Rex decides to go all out.

A wave of conqueror's haki is released in Rex's rage, knocking out the attendants and most of the guests of the Games. Rex then rushes to the stage with Tiger, Bonney and Jinbe in tow.

"You bastards!" Jinbe roars, leaping forwards in a Fishman karate stance. Massive waves of water are jettisoned out from his fist crashing towards the chefs.

Most of the chefs have panicked expressions, but Rex realizes that Buche is completely calm.

"Jinbe look out!" Rex shouts leaping forward to block an incoming kick from an outside opponent.

CLANG!

Rex's fist clashes against a massive leg, creating a gust of wind that blows back several of the chefs.

"The Charlotte Family is not to be messed with." The voice said, revealing an immense statuesque figure with extremely long legs. "I thought this mission would be boring, but I never figured I would meet you hear. Vesta Rex. It seems I might be able to wring some excitement out of this trip after all!"

It was Charlotte Smoothie. Smoothie hadn't brought her sword, finding it unnecessary for such a trivial event, but now she was starting to regret that.

Rex curses himself for not having looked through the stands earlier. If he had noticed this prominent member of the Charlotte family before, he would have taken countermeasures.

Still, there was no time for regrets. Now, Rex was left completely exposed without access to either Rouge or Faust and having to face off against a future sweet commander. This would be a hard fight.

The remaining three combatants quickly match off against someone of note. Jinbe and Buche square off while Bonney faces Wanze and all the other chefs. As for Tiger, he was matched with Mistress Child herself.

Rex leaps out at Smoothie, trying to test her reflexes with a Hasshoken infused punch.

Smoothie quickly shows that her legs are not for decoration, pivoting off of her left foot to dodge. She then brings up her right foot, going down for a drop kick on Rex's back.

Rex scampers out of the ways like a mouse, using his smaller size against Smoothie. He had at least confirmed that she was far weaker than she was in the manga, but that didn't make her weaker than he was now.

Clashing with her, kick to fist, Rex could attest that Smoothie was likely as strong, if not slightly stronger than Strawberry was, despite only being in her early 20s. Big Mom genes really were cheats.

Then again, Rex was also that strong, but he needed his Devil Fruit for that and worked his butt off. Smoothie was a lazy loafer, and she still hadn't used her fruit.

Rex continues to clash with Smoothie but avoids direct attacks. Instead, he throws various weapons at her, imbues them with vibrations to make them more potent. The weapons barely leave a mark on Smoothie, but they still have an effect.

Rex knows that in a straight fight, without Faust or Rouge, he would likely be overpowered by Smoothie's kicks. It was time to get creative.

Meanwhile, Rex's crewmates are not having any better of a time.

As one of Big Mom's chefs, the ingredients that Buche dealt with on a daily basis were many times more durable than steel. As such, he was an apt swordsman capable of besting most warriors.

With that, and the fact that Jinbe was far out of his prime, Buche was currently wiping the floor with his blue fishman opponent. What was notable however, was that Jinbe still hadn't used any fishman karate moves on his opponent, biding his time for an opening.

At the same time, Bonney is going three against one with Wanze and two other top chefs fighting her. While one didn't need to be a combatant to be a top chef, the two were very closely linked. After all, in the one piece world, the food was tough, so the Chefs had to be tougher.

Bonney shows off her new moves in succession, shearing through Wanze's noodle attacks with her hair. Unfortunately, the other two chefs block her whenever she tried to go out on the attack, making this a long fight of attrition.

Despite Bonney's growth over the past few months, she still wasn't able to finish the fight quickly.

Finally, Tiger's fight with Mistress Child, which looked more like a comedy show than anything else.

Mistress Child was using her immense blubber as a defense mechanism against the red-skinned fishman's watery blasts. Her offense on the other hand is comical, as she attempts many times to belly flop on top of Tiger, creating numerous potholes in the ground.

Tiger quickly grows weary of this fighting style, but unfortunately, he had no means of getting past all of Mistress Child's fat. Still, this fight makes Tiger ponder on a move he had been thinking of with fishman karate. Maybe…

"Fatfatfatfat!" Child laughs. "You're attacks barely dent my body! In fact, I think I'm becoming even more beautiful because of them. MORE, hit me MORE!"

On the side however, Thatch watches the fight with mixed emotions. On the one hand, Thatch's beliefs were personally opposed to the cooking or consumption of intelligent life. On the other hand, Thatch knew that engaging in this fight would make him the enemy of several powerhouses including the Charlotte Family.

"Damn it!" Bonney curses, get her arm snared by Wanze's noodles. "Are you just gonna sit there or are you gonna do something!?"

Thatch clenches his fist, knowing that he couldn't just stand by while good people were fighting for a man's life. Drawing his dual daggers, Thatch knew, it was time to fight.

Meanwhile, Rex was not having a good time.

Rex leaps back once more as Smoothie decimates another cooking station with a kick. Slowly but surely, he was easing her over to a location of his choosing. The grease vat.

Reaching the vat in a few bounds. Rex smashes it open with a fist, just before Smoothie dashes at him.

Splash!

A wave of grease comes crashing down on Smoothie, drenching her figure in oil. Her skin shines as oil reflects light but Smoothie frowns, what was this Vesta Rex planning to with…

Clink!

Having grabbed a fire starter from a chef's counter before, Rex ignites the grease with a spark. Smoothie leaps back quickly, the flames lapping up at her feet by the time she's gotten away.

"Bastard!" Smoothie shouts, being separated from Rex by a massive fire.

Rex grins, giving Smoothie a wave goodbye before running back to the battle.

However, as he runs, Rex gets a dark premonition and leaps forward into a shoulder roll.

Swoosh!

Smoothie's leg comes flying over his head as Rex turns to see the half-longlegged woman behind him, completely devoid of oil. Rex deflates, it seems Smoothie had already gotten her devil fruit.

"Usually, I hate fighting. It's just so boring." Smoothie complains. "But now, it's personal. I just really want to kick your butt!"

Rex cringes, knowing that trickery won't work for much longer. It seemed he would have to fight.

Withdrawing his weapon with the longest reach, Devon's whip that he had stolen from her at Minion Island, Rex enters a battle stance.

As a weapon that once belonged to the 'queen of the south blue' Devon's weapon was on par with skillful grade weapons. It was made of metal, but the metal was meant for whips, not swords so he couldn't reforge it. Unfortunately, there were no whip users in Rex's crew, leaving the whip to gather dust in his pocket.

Rex uses the whip to keep Smoothie at a distance. While Rex had never used a whip personally before, he had fought two whip users in the past, and found himself imitating their techniques. Diamante's wrist flourish and Devon's stance come natural to him as he recalls the fights.

Of course, Rex was a terrible whip user, but that wasn't the point. What he lacked in skill, he made up for in flexibility with his arm fluctuating from jacket to non-jacket state allowing it to twist at unreasonable angles.

Rex makes light mark after mark on Smoothie's body, using his observation haki against her. Smoothie, on the other hand, tries to use her armament haki to defend, only to find it impossible. After all, she couldn't coat her whole body yet and if she coated one limb, Rex would use his flexibility to target another.

Smoothie grits her teeth, hating Rex's odd flexibility.

Off in the distance, with Thatch's help, the battle was quickly turning. Bonney had taken out her opponent's and was helping Jinbe beat Buche.

Smoothie knew that in a matter of moments, she would be outnumbered.

"Screw it!" Smoothie shouts, ignoring all defense and rushing at Rex. If any of her siblings saw this desperate attack, they would be surprised that Rex pushed their nonchalant sister to such a state.

Rex's whip, coils around Smoothie's right leg as she smashes her right down on him. Rex grits his teeth, knowing he could either abandon the whip or get hit.

Then, something odd happens. Under Rex's gaze, a blue, electrical current rushes through the whip, rushing into Smoothie's body.

'Electro? But how?' Rex thinks, believing that he needed to be equipped with Faust to use the vaunted Mink ability. Was he part mink or something?

Smoothie, who was focusing entirely on Rex doesn't see this and tenses up with her leg in midair.

Still, Rex doesn't let this opportunity go to waste. He yanks out vigorously with the whip coiled around Smoothie's leg, causing the tall long-legged woman to collapse to the ground.

Then, Rex places his palm on her head, trying to use both Hasshoken and his newfound Electro to knock out his opponent.

Smoothie tries to resist at first with armament haki on her head, but Rex withdraws some sea stone to seal the deal, weakening Smoothie while he knocked her out.

Now, Rex knew he needed to be gone.

Rex's crew had already finished with their opponents and are surprised to see Rex with Smoothie in tow.

"Captain…" Bonney starts, but Rex silences her, taking Buche as well.

Then, Rex makes sure that all the chefs who saw this are dead, before fleeing to his ship.

At the docks, Rex turns to Thatch. "You'll be a wanted man now, you know?"

"Well, I knew what I signed up for in helping you guys out." Thatch said with a bitter smile. "Besides, I've always fancied the life of a pirate."

"If that's the case, would you join my crew?"