Chapter 2.1

- Dog! It's time to get up!

- Mmmm... no...

- Time to wake up!

- Mmmm... mmm... pancakes...

- HEY, LISTEN! (Soundbite loudly played the annoying Legend of Zelda meme phrase, "Hey, Listen")

"Ahh!" I jumped up with a squeal, shuddering and tearing out the headphones from my ears. "You bitch—Soundbyte!" I growled at the transponder snail, giggling on my shoulder. A quick glance at the sky confirmed my anger. -It's not even noon yet, you shit! Why did you wake me up?

The snail's response was to remember my frightened expression and laugh continuously for almost a minute.

I sighed tiredly, waiting for the snail to finish.

This was my life for the previous two weeks. I made a lot of effort to explore the island in the hope of finding some sign of civilization, but I found absolutely nothing. There were occasional encounters with strange specimens of predatory fauna, but Soundbite more than lived up to his usefulness, striking them with a powerful sound that all living things on the island came to fear.

I also took the time to get to know Soundbite better, who he was and what his abilities were like. To be honest, there wasn't much that could be said about the snail himself: he was an inveterate joker who would say or do anything for a laugh. And he laughed a lot since I gave him the main goal: his faithful horse, that is, me. He also loved to use his mouth. Whenever he wasn't laughing, he would sink his teeth into the leaves or, worse, into me.

As for Soundbite Noise Noise's abilities, they were... well, in a word, impressive. I guess one way to describe the snail would be the world's most talented ventriloquist. Once it hears a noise, any noise, Soundbite can reproduce it accurately, with the ability to choose the volume itself and explicit control over the direction from which it came. Back, forward, above, below, to the sides, provided that the target is in the Soundbite's range of action, he can do anything as if the sound source was anywhere.

As for its range, well... apparently the Noise-Noise Fruit worked both ways: it not only amplified the noise coming out of it, but also amplified what was coming in. It was difficult to get an accurate measurement, but from the tests we did on the island's beach, I guessed Soundbite could hear everything within four hundred meters of him. And while Soundbite can hear someone or something, it can also create noise around that person or object.

While this range may seem ridiculous, it makes sense: as I recall from the manga Q&A, the transponder snails communicated with each other via telepathic communication in the form of radio waves. If I'm not wrong in my assumptions, Soundbite's natural abilities as a transponder snail should have enhanced Noise-Noise Fruit's ability, or vice versa. Perhaps something like how Enel's powers made his 'mantra' ungodly strong. Simply put, it was luck that Soundbite ate the fruit rather than someone with less powerful sensory abilities.

And of course, not even mentioning the endless amount of audio that Soundbite had access to thanks to him eating my iPhone and accessing the Internet... somehow, damn it, it worked. On the other hand: One Piece is a world where the chef can set his leg on fire for added effect, thanks to the fast spinning and 'power of love'.

To sum it up, while it didn't seem like a cheat ability, I definitely saw the potential.

"If only his owner would act a little more mature..." I grumbled quietly, watching as Soundbite calmed down from cackling to just giggling. "Done?" I demanded.

Soundbite shot me a smug grin, which I had gotten used to. "Never!" he croaked.

I sighed and leaned my head back against the tree trunk I was sleeping on. -I hope you have a good reason for waking me up, or I swear...!

- Go ahead, guys! Hurry up already!

I froze, my whole body froze. That voice... it was... could it really be! I quickly put on my headphones to confirm what I heard.

- Wait for us, Luffy! God... impatient idiot...

I slowly turned my head and stared at Soundbite with obvious disbelief. I managed to catch the end of an annoyed smile on his face before he switched to a wide grin.

- Well, what did you expect? He's Luffy, after all.

I sat up impatiently as Soundbite frowned, gritting his teeth as if he was biting something.

- Greenhead is right. He would not have been our captain if he had not rushed headlong into the unknown.

My bright smile was the exact opposite of the panicked expression that suddenly flashed across Soundbite's face.

- Uh... guys? Nope, I know about you, but I think I've come down with the 'I don't want to go into this wild jungle' disease!

With an impatient smile, I put the headphones back around my neck, quickly jumped to my feet and jumped onto a branch. I could hardly believe it! They are here, they are here! "Looks like we have company, Soundbite!" I smiled from the bottom of my heart. -Are you ready to entertain our guests?

Soundbite perfectly copied my facial expression, showing off a full set of teeth. "GET READY FOR A ROOM!" he shouted, picking up a fast and energetic melody. ("LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE" - meme phrase)

I slowly straightened up, preparing to trek through the treetops...

- Hey, that's a pretty cool trick!

A straw hat-clad head popped out of the leaves above me, causing both Soundbite and I to scream in horror and recoil in shock.

I only had one second to realize that this was a bad idea before I started flailing my arms around, struggling to maintain my precarious balance on the branch under Luffy's surprised gaze.

I made a valiant effort, but eventually felt my center of gravity slip a little lower.

"Oh, shit..." I moaned.

- FUCK! - Soundbite screamed, burying himself in his shell as I fell from the tree...

A fall! -OUCH!

And he hit the ground hard enough to knock the breath out of his lungs.

I was vaguely aware that someone had landed next to me and was leaning towards me. -Are you okay?

"Daisy, Daisy, give me the answer..." I blurted out. (line from children's song Daisy Bell)

"Yankee Fool had a FARM..." supported Soundbite with a mixture of voices.

"Shishishishi!" The shadowy figure above me turned into a familiar face as Luffy chuckled. -You two are funny!

"Thank you, thank you, I'll be performing here all week," I groaned, slowly pushing myself into a sitting position, wincing as my body ached from the impact.

- People, you have been warned! - Soundbite shouted.

- HAHAHA! - Luffy cackled openly, helplessly clutching his stomach. -I take my words back, you are very funny!

His laugh was so infectious that it brought a sick smile to my face. "Thank you again... ah, I should introduce myself, shouldn't I?" I extended my hand to him. -Cross. Jeremy Cross. Island bum and former novice traveler." I nodded my head to my shoulder. -And this is my pet...!

KUS!

I flinched as Soundbite tried to rip out a piece of my ear and hastily corrected himself. "I-I-I meant my partner, Soundbite." I glanced at the grinning clam.

Luffy grinned and took my hand and helped me to my feet. -Nice to meet you, Cross! With you too, Soundbite! I'm Monkey D. Luffy! Nice to meet you!

I shook his hand. - Mutually, Luffy! "What brings you to this abandoned corner of...East Blue?" I guessed, based on the fact that the Straw Hats were only the five of them and didn't have Vivi on board.

The captain shrugged his shoulders, his expression did not change. -My team and I were low on meat, so we came here to replenish our supplies!

I smiled eagerly. This was my chance! "Your team, then?" I asked him.

- Shishishi! Yes, you can rest assured!" Luffy nodded. -We are pirates, as you can see!

"Yohoho and a bottle of rum?" Soundbite tilted his head to the side.

"Yeah!" The rubber guy nodded.

I hastily changed my expression to one of uncertainty. -Pirates, huh? Just to be clear, are we talking about the "rape, loot, pillage" pirates or the "adventure without paying attention to what we're told" pirates?

Luffy winced and stuck out his tongue. -Second! The first ones are all stupid pretenders!

I doubled over and breathed out a sigh of relief. -Ugh... thank God. Sorry, no offense to you or your team, you just can't be too careful, you know?

- STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER...?" Soundbite agreed with a grimace before suddenly stopping mid-sentence and peering curiously over Luffy's shoulder.

"Heh, no problem!" Luffy shrugged. -I've already dealt with such idiots!

I nodded and chuckled along with him. -Yeah, yeah... - While I was laughing, my mind sped up.

This was it. Right now. Luffy managed to show interest in me, Cross - an entertaining island bum and my talking snail. If I'm going to ask him about joining his team, now is the time.

I took a deep breath to calm down...

- Hey, do you mind if I ask you something?

Before freezing in surprise. I looked at him for a second before shrugging. -Certainly?

Soundbite worked his jaws, sounds and other things, imitating eating popcorn, watching us and the foliage behind Luffy.

Luffy smiled from ear to ear. -Will you join my team?

I blinked, processing his question. After...

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" I demanded, my stunned exclamation was repeated by a quartet of familiar faces who appeared from the jungle, we all screamed in shock.

"That's what I understand - SHOW!" Soundbite encouraged, laughing stupidly on my shoulder.

I quickly recovered from the shock to look at the snail. "You knew they were nearby!" I accused.

- VI ~ BUT ~ VEN! - the transponder snail sang.

I growled furiously, raising my hand and bringing it close to his head, inches away from choking him.

Meanwhile, Luffy wasn't so lucky. "What the hell are you thinking, moron, just asking every random rascal and hillbilly you meet to join our fucking team?!" Nami hissed, trying to choke the laughing captain by swinging him back and forth by the neck.

I wondered if I had been insulted when they called me a rogue. Then I noticed how tightly she was holding Luffy's neck and I mentally swallowed that train of thought.

- But Nami! Luffy retorted with a chuckle, completely unfazed by the fact that his crewmate was trying to choke him. -He is not a random rogue! His name is Cross, he is very funny and cool, and his snail can do all sorts of tricks!

- WHAT DOES IT MATTER!?

Sanji raised an eyebrow as he took a drag from his cigarette, looking at the spectacle neutrally. -So, this is how he actually conducts business here?

Zoro groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. -He found me when I was tied up and starving for almost a month and held my swords hostage to force me to join. Have I answered your question?

The cook winced. -Considering how he "refused my refusal"? Even too much.

While all this was happening, Usopp sighed tiredly and placed his hand on Cross's free shoulder. -Sorry about Luffy. He has a good heart, but he... uh... - He waved his hand, searching for the right word.

I tore my attention away from my shoulder. "Moron?" I prompted calmly.

"Weirdo?" Soundbite enthusiastically offered his version. - Fool? Dugbeak?

"Uh!" Usopp stepped back in shock.

"Shishishishi!" Luffy tilted his head back, smiling at Soundbite. -Do you see Nami? I told you his snail is super cool!

Nami gave us a caustic look, causing me to flinch in embarrassment. The girl had one hell of a look, that's for sure. I just really hoped that most of her anger was directed at Luffy and not me. -It's a good act of ventriloquism, I'm willing to admit it, but it's not what we need right now.

I bristled at the accusation, pointing at Soundbite. -Hey, my fingers aren't in his ass!

"I'm not your puppet!" the snail sang, agreeing with me, at the same time with an offended expression.

Nami's expression changed to one of surprise. -Oooookey... this is something new.

"But not impossible," Sanji said, twirling his cigarette around and pointing at the snail. -It's a baby transponder snail, Luffy. He has a friend somewhere on the island who speaks through him.

Luffy's expression fell into disappointment. -Oooh, really?

I allowed myself to throw an impatient smile at Sanji. "Try to guess again, curly!" I gloated, pressing my hand to my shoulder and allowing Soundbite to crawl into my palm. Then I extended my hand and bent it, showing him the snail shell. -Soundbite is free like the wind!

The snail grinned and glanced at Nami before letting out a loud wolf whistle.

I spat out a curse and quickly slammed my palm down on Soundbite's shell, causing him to return to his exoskeleton, shaking with laughter. "Okay, free like the anarchists!" I corrected myself. I really hated him when he did things like that, damn it!

Sanji blinked, slowly lowering his finger. -Okay... yeah, I have no idea.

Luffy's smile instantly doubled. -I told you, his snail is cool!

"Oh, am I empty space?" I grumbled.

Zoro looked at the snail boredly and then looked at me with a flat look. -So how does he do it?

I straightened up and removed my hand from Soundbite's shell, allowing him to look out. We exchanged glances for a second before sharing a grin. Time to show yourself!

- I'm so glad you asked! - I announced in a slightly extravagant tone, intending to put on the best show I could. -Let me demonstrate! Soundbite?

- Yes, Cap? - the snail asked impatiently, looking at me.

I snapped my fingers and pointed straight at Nami. -Get started!

Soundbite turned around on my arm and grinned at the red-haired girl, who blinked back curiously.

I continued to point at her, smiling before I started speaking. -You see, the fact is that Soundbite is not an ordinary snail!

The Straw Hats yelped in shock as my voice sounded like Nami's coming from Soundbite's mouth.

"What...!?" the original said stuttering.

Before they could come to their senses, I moved my finger to point at Usopp. -Well, I mean, I know he's a baby transponder snail, he's already weird, but he's even weirder!

- Go crazy! - The long-nosed pirate sighed in shock.

I then focused on Sanji. -You see, Soundbite, like a snail, ate a variety of plants and fruits here. But some time ago he ate a very specific plant that put him above all other transponder snails, baby or otherwise! Can you guess?

Sanji took a drag from his cigarette, looking at me and my partner with interest. -Devil Fruit.

"Absolutely true!" I answered in his voice before turning Soundbite's gaze to Zoro. -To be precise, he ate the Paramecia fruit, which I called the "Noise-Noise Fruit." Not only does it enhance Soundbite's auditory range far beyond normal...

I sighed in relief when the swordsman smiled at the use of his voice without being offended by it.

Moving on, it was Luffy's turn to copy mine and Soundbite's grin as I pointed at him. -This allows him to repeat whatever he hears, anytime, anywhere! He can use his powers in other cool ways too, like...speaking my words with your voices! Pretty cool, isn't it?

Apparently anticipating the ending, Luffy put his hand on my shoulder and joined in my laughter. "Shishishishi!" we sang.

Almost instantly, half the crew were bent over exhaustedly in the frustration that seemed to overcome them.

"Oh god, there are two of them..." Nami moaned, tears streaming down her face.

"We are doomed..." Usopp agreed in the same position.

Zoro snorted, looking around at us with a slightly surprised expression.

Sanji took a deep drag on his cigarette as he examined my snail. -It was...

"Impressive?" I shrugged with a grin and placed Soundbite back on my shoulder. -You don't have to tell me. And between you and me, it was just a cheap trick. He has a few other tricks up his sleeve that I think will be much more useful.

"ROOAAR!" Soundbite howled without warning. The noise came from directly behind Usopp, causing the poor guy to jump a full five feet into the air, screaming in terror.

I groaned and covered my face with my hand while Soundbite laughed his heart out. "When he's not fooling around for his own pleasure..." I growled.

To Usopp's credit, he managed to recover with impressive fortitude, jumping to his feet and thrusting his enraged face into Soundbite's. -WHY DID YOU DO THIS, YOU STUPID SNAIL!?

My eyes widened in panic as I saw the snail's wide, gloating grin. -Oh, no, no, no, wait, don't--!

Late. Before anyone could react, Soundbite, seemingly splitting his head in half, opened his mouth...

KUS! -AAAYYY!

And he bit Usopp's nose, clinging to his dear life while the pirate tossed him in different directions in pain. His cacophony of laughter, which had already become his trademark, echoed throughout the clearing.

I could feel my eye twitch as I looked at this sight. "As you can see, I called him that for a reason," I explained in a calm tone.

"Please accept our condolences," Zoro, Sanji and Nami said in unison with the same amount of emotion.

Luffy was too busy rolling around on the floor laughing to say anything.

- WITH THEM! HIS! OFF ME!" Usopp howled, violently tugging at the gastropod.

In the end, I took pity on the sniper, pursed my lips and let out a sharp whistle. -Soundbite! Let him go, now!" I then raised my hand and barely flinched as Soundbite's shell hit my palm, vibrating with laughter. "Thank you." I told him without the slightest gratitude in my voice, pushing him back onto my shoulder.

- You're welcome! - he sang joyfully.