2 I'm going to be Isekaied?
Saturday, December 31, 2022...
A man yet to have his thirties, but who was close to reaching them, whom we will call "MC" for now, slept peacefully like a baby
"…ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... AGHMN…ZZZZZZZZZ…. BUNZZZ…. ZZZZZZZ.... I'm Batman… ZZZZZHHHH… GZZHHHHZZZ…"
… Well…
He slept peacefully like a possessed polar bear in heat...
When suddenly he heard a loud unknown sound
"Welcome number 999999999 of the promotion 87890984393038374859593676576576345432568970080889978953464547676521313644443585390473762937494673920179374947894
You could say that today is the luckiest day of all your existences..." Said a strange man of approximately 25 years old, very tall, muscular, with dark hair, with ape's tail and with a third eye on his forehead...
An unexpected sound that put our clever Mc on high alert… or maybe not… "…ZZZHmp… eh?
Has my alarm sound changed?
…
…
…zzz…
It doesn't matter… just 69 seconds more…
…z…
…zzz…"
And upon hearing that unexpected or undesirable response from the Mc, that strange man tried to make him react with a cough that even made him get out of bed due to the shock wave "EHEEAAAAAAAHMMMMMMMMMMMHEM!!!"
RUUuummmm!!!
And due to that subtle action our Mc got up from the ground with the speed of a frightened cat, screaming in fright besides being extremely disoriented as he always was when he woke up "AH!!! What happen?! Are the Russians attacking us?
WTF?!
Where the hell am I!?
…
¿Who the hell are you?
And… and what do you want?!
Money?!
Rape me?!"
"Ahahaha…
No thanks, I have better things to do...
And in case you hadn't heard me before, I'll repeat...
Welcome number 999999999 of the promotion 87890984393038374859593676576576345432568970080889978953464547676521313644443585390473762937494673920179374947894
You could say that today is the luckiest day of all your existences...
As for the rest of your questions...
Why don't you use your brain a bit to try and answer them?" Said the mysterious man, repeating his speech once again for our Mc, that was a little bit more awake than before
So, following the advice of that strange and imposing titan who didn't even seem to be of his own race… Mc began to analyze the situation in search of clues.
And after finding them, the MC expressed his conclusions and derived assessments "Wait a minute…
You are…
Broly? The Broly of Dragon Ball Super?
But…
With Ten Shinhan's third eye?
In a fancy room full of statues of yourself striking bodybuilder poses?
Damn… this is one of the three… no, five weirdest dreams I've had in the last month…"
"Aha that's right, technically I'm the Broly from Dragon Ball Super, born and raised in universe 7 on planet Vegeta… but my story is different from the one you know… although my third eye is of Hiei's Jagan from Yuyu Hakusho
In addition, this is not a dream, it's real...
Try to guess why" Said that Broly, who approached him flying.
In addition he used telekinesis and materialization magic to created clothes and dressed Mc, who until now wore the same clothes he had before coming here…
Absolutely nothing!
And upon seeing and experiencing that bizarre, convenient, wonderful and impossible event and after slapping himself multiple times to check if he was in a dream or not he panicked "WTF?!
This is not a dream!
And it's not a hidden camera either... it's impossible for this to be special effects!
I'm... I'm...
Dead?"
"CONGRATULATIONS!
That's right, you died in your sleep and you have had the incredible luck of being the first one I send to reincarnate in my newly established Omniverse, the Brolyverse, which I conquered after a lot of effort, planning and some luck...
I know, it is an honor that few have...
And yes, I know, it is a difficult situation to digest at first, the same thing happened to me...
However, you are a geek like me, it's not an unknown scenario for you in the world of fiction
Do you want some cola?
It's Mellow Cola, originally from the world of Toriko
It will help you relax" Broly said, trying to be a good host and god
"Thank you very much and…
FUUUUUCK THIS IS FUCKING DELICIOUS! I HAD NEVER TASTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MY FUCKING LIFE!
This... I have too many questions... " Said the Mc, who digested the news of his death with the best cola he had ever tasted, something that more or less compensated for his situation…
"I guess the first one is related to your death" Broly replied, who also wondered about the same thing when he got here...
"Yeah I guess...
Was it a heart attack?" Asked the Mc, who remembered his high cholesterol levels and therefore thought of that cause of death as the first option.
"Ye... not" Broly replied, who turned on the giant screen in the room to show him his death "HAHAHA!
Your death was so funny! While you were sleeping the bookcase above your bed gave way and…"
Clash!
In the video the MC could see how the bookcase above his bed fell on him, and with it all the heavy trophies and books fell on his head, causing him serious bruising's and bleeding's
Clash! Clash! Clash! Clash! Clash!
A death that completely disfigured the serene expression of the Mc, who had begun to accept his death... but not in this way "WHAT THE? Did the bookshelf and the stupid trophies kill me?
WHAT A RIDICULOUS DEATH!
Well... at least I wasn't killed by a cliché truck like every MC in almost the 99% of all the Isekai animes"
"Are you sure?" Broly said as he fast-forwarded the video a few seconds later to show him…
MOC! MOC! MOC!
CRASHHHHH!!!
Show him how a truck crashed into his house, specifically into his room and bed, killing him while he was still alive, although dying with his hunting trophy embedded in his head
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?
I LIVE ON A THIRD FLOOR!!! HOW DID THAT TRUCK GET THERE?!!" The Mc screamed in outrage to see that his death was even more absurd than he could have ever dreamed of
Something that made Broly laugh even more "HAHAHAHAHA!
That's why I said your death was the best!"
"And surely you have chosen me for exactly that reason…
To make fun of me, right?
Are you sure that this absurd death, at least the truck part, wasn't your doing?" Said the Mc, to whom all this seemed very suspicious...
To which Broly replied "NO NO NO No Nooo…
…Well… yes…
Since you were going to die anyway due to the bookshelf I wanted to make it even more comical"
'Grrjjj bastard son of a bitch...' "YOU'RE A..." The Mc thought and shouted, about to insult Broly... but he refrained from doing it at the last moment, after all doing that wouldn't bring him any benefit, it would only harm him. So he tried to be constructive despite the indignation he felt "Okay...
Aside from my absurd death…
From what you've said and I guess...
You aren't the real Broly from the movie and you are someone from my own world who reincarnated just like me in the world of Dragon Ball in Broly's body...
For some unknown reason you are the god in charge of reincarnation… and now you are going to reincarnate me in another fantasy world
I am right?"
"Oh! You impress me! I expected nothing less from my choice!
You are right, although you lack certain nuances
I was a human from Earth who died and met someone who called himself the reincarnation god of all realities, which resided where all realities originate.
A son of a bitch who explained to me that I was just a piece of data in a universe simulation program.
That guy ripped me off and took away my Stands but instead I reincarnated as Broly with this eye, so I devised a stratagem to get back to this same place
In the Dragon Ball universe I grew up and prospered until as a pre-teen I became stronger than a god of destruction. Then I used a Hunter X Hunter card, my NEN powers that I bought from that scammer and my own dragon balls to reach this reality again
Then I found out that this guy was no god, just a guy from the most advanced civilization in the omniverse and that they were using me to shoot an Isekay movie. That's why swore revenge so I hacked their system and went to other manga/anime worlds to increase my powers, get my own army and create my own universe in my dimension...
I went back to the Dragon Ball universe where I changed things a bit, I welcomed Gohan as my student, married my waifu Bulma and planned an intricate plan to become the lord and master of the entire Dragon Ball universe in a spectacular and epic way...
And millennia later I did the same with all realities, with which I am now the most powerful being that exists in the entire omniverse.
I am the Omnigod!
You can see all this in my film Bragon Ball – The True Legendary Super Saiyan
Sorry for the spoiler" Broly said explaining the story of his life with great pride complementing it with images from his own movie
A fascinating and even inspiring story, but it didn't answer Mc's concerns 'I hadn't asked you any of that...
An Isekai movie?
Damn… that's absurd… but hey... the Isekai genre is getting worse and worse, I can't blame him'
"I know, I know…
I'm amazing, from computer data of a simulation of a simulation to an anime character of a simulation of a simulation and from that to God supreme of all realities…" Broly said, self-pumping himself once more without being asked
'This guy has more ego than muscle
And he has more supply of muscle than demand' Seriously, a fascinating story, but one that didn't interest the Mc, given the circumstances, he only cared about his situation "And... as for my reincarnation...
Do you also want to make an Isekai movie of my life?
And if so, why?
You are not afraid that I will do something similar to what you did and take over your position"
And Broly, without stopping talking about himself for a single second, answered all those doubts "Nahhhh... that's not going to happen, I've already taken precautions
Well… you see…
After finishing my omniversal conquest I took a well-deserved vacation doing what I had proposed...
Watch One Piece from the first chapter to the last with my grandchildren, ending the remastered version in which all the chapters are directed by Megumi Ishitani!
And after fully seeing such masterpiece I fell into a deep existential void just like my grandchildren...
I WANT MORE!
That's why after thinking very hard for 3 seconds I decided to do what every almighty god would do...
Create a new universe from scratch with a copy of the one I was born so that one day when a One Piece loving geek dies in a ridiculous way I could reincarnate him in that manga before the manga ends in the simulation!
And therefore be able to see an original alternative and realistic version made for someone who hasn't seen the end unlike me.
A great idea, right?"
"W...WH...
HAVE YOU DONE WHAT!?
This this...
One...one moment...
You are saying that the meaning of the very existence of my universe and all that inhabit it...
That everything has existed for the sole purpose of me dying absurdly so that you could reincarnate me and thus make an Isekai movie in my second life?" Asked the Mc, who right now was unable to process that absolute madness.
"That's how it is!
How do you feel knowing that you are the reason that an entire universe exists?" Broly said, not feeling guilty at all for doing such an absurd and exaggerated act to achieve such a stupid goal.
"UNBELIEVABLE HORRIBLE!
...
... ...
... ... ...
And well at the same time…"Answered the Mc, feeling absolutely overwhelmed to know that his miserable existence made sense of everything until now... and at the same time happy to know that until now he had been the most important being in all his universe
So after minimally accepting that shocking revelation about his past that would be difficult or impossible for him to forget in this life or the next one... he asked again about his future "Ok, I guess I accept everything you've told me as true...
Although I suppose I have no other alternative….
Now am I supposed to get a cheat skill or something before you send me to the One Piece world?
Do I have three wishes or something?"
"I see you know the Isekai protocol, yep that's right...
However, there are no three wishes, I am a god not a genie of the lamp...
Also, with that you only have to ask to be omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent and the fun is over... it's totally stupid... and even more stupid is when there are people in some fanfiction who are given those options and don't choose the most powerful powers possible, which are these...
Whoever writes fucking shit like that is a fucking idiot..." Said Broly complaining about the few neurons that some fanfiction authors have
"I agree…
I instadrop any story with such serious errors" Said the Mc, finally feeling some complicity with Broly, except for their mutual love for One Piece, something that is normal
"Anyway...
According to the old policy, which I haven't changed yet...
Depending on the actions of your life and past lives, you will receive some karma points, which you can spend on skills from the entire omniverse, although I advise you to spend them on anime and manga skills.
The closer you are to the world to which you are going to reincarnate and the closer the systems and power levels are the more affordable the prices will be…
Let's see how your points are calculated...
And you have…
69 points!" Broly said solemnly as if he were the host of a television contest handing out prizes.
And obviously the Mc was forced to ask due to the lack of knowledge of the value of those beautiful points "...
That's a lot?"
"Are you kidding?!
This is fucking shit!
HAHAHAHA!" Broly replied, laughing at the Mc's misfortune for the umpteenth time
"Eh?!"
And obviously Broly wasn't going to stop the roast there, he can still sink the Mc even more into misery "Yes, really!
This is fucking shit, I got 83973 points and that was the lowest mark in history...
And that means...
You have broken the record!
CONGRATULATIONS!"
"Don't congratulate me for this!
And how is it possible that I have so few points?!
What have I done to deserve this!?" The Mc said, demanding explanations for this low score, he had led an almost exemplary life in his opinion
"It's not your fault... It must have been one of your past lives...
Fuck…In your past life were you the creator of Reggeton?
These are very few points…" Broly said as he reviewed Mc's reincarnation history... and after that little effort he replied with some relief "Uff... false alarm..."
"False alarm?" Mc asked, not understanding Broly's relief.
So Broly specified a little better the reason for his relief "Fortunately you aren't the reincarnation of the creator of Reggeton...
Let's say that... you were a german guy, short, with dark hair, with a ridiculous mustache, with a very high position within that country and who had a certain fixation on exterminating Jews and causing world wars"
"WHAT!!!!????
In my previous life I was Hitler!?
ME!?
That I hate all kinds of statism!? What kind of joke is this?
How am I similar to him!?" The Mc shouted upon hearing another devastating news towards his common sense for the umpteenth time that day
"As I explained before, your universe was a simulation and apparently his height and artistic sense were used for your creation, but in principle you haven't inherited his worst traits...
Why did you drop out of painting school?" Said Broly explaining how reincarnation works in a world made of data, taking advantage of the information of a character in that simulation to create another
"Because this hardly had professional opportunities..." The Mc answered, trying to accept all that nonsense once again while trying to understand the situation "OK... suppose I accept this...
But… how can that be good news?!
And how can I not even have points?!
What kind of hero was I in other lives to make up for this!?"
"Well... they were more or less normal people who gave points but not too many...
That's why I told you it's not the worst case...
The Nazis did a lot of damage to the world, but a lot of good to the cinema and literature in general
If it weren't for them, many great movies and series would never have been created, and that in an audiovisual department like this is highly valued, so you still have points left thanks to that
If you had been Otto Von Virshman, Pol Pot, the creator of Reggeton, the creator of Netflix's Life Actions or the one who made the adaptations of Berserk to anime, you would be in bankrupt and therefore you would have to choose curses instead of super powers
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Said Broly, who couldn't stop laughing at this hilarious situation, he was laughing so hard that was even crying
However, the Mc didn't like all the shit that was raining in his mouth since he woke up "Ok...
Okay…
Okkkk…
Let me guess... you haven't only selected me out of millions of candidates because of my stupid death... also because you knew in advance that I am among other things the reincarnation of Hitler and you would laugh about it due to my reaction and my lack of points?"
"HAHAHAHAHA…
YES! That's how it is...
You are smarter than you seem...
HAHAHAHAHA!
You understand things quickly" Broly replied, still laughing at the situation himself created without any remorse.
'Fucking bastard!' "YOU'RE A SON OF..." The Mc thought and yelled with all the anger he could concentrate in his soul... but once again he restrained himself and tried to be productive instead of getting angry and insulting the guy who was about to give him a new life
Therefore, he looked in the power Catalogue what things he could buy with his puny 69 points... but the result was extremely disappointing "Fuck... there's nothing useful to buy...
At least nothing that will ensure greatness or at least survival in One Piece...
Even if I buy skills within One Piece it is only enough for me to know how to cook better, to bend 45 degrees and a navigation guide in the East Blue
All things that are of little use and that I can perfectly obtain in the world of One Piece…"
The situation was absolutely depressing, he would be the first idiot in the world of fiction to be reincarnated without a power... at least Kazuma was able to bring a goddess without panties who would resurrect him from time to time in exchange for alcohol.
Damn you Hitler!
"HAHAHAHAHA!" A depression that even began to spread in the cheerful Broly, who took pity on that poor soul and helped him instead of laughing at him, or at least not so much "Come on, I'll give you some advice since I'm starting to feel compassion by you
Look at the FUCKING RANDOM option that you have outside the anime and manga menu"
And the Mc, following his advice, looked for that option in the powers menu and read it in great detail, very not hopeful details "What is this?
Sacrifice all your points without having bought anything in exchange for a random skill from all over the Brolyverse
Really? Are you suggesting that I should play everything on one card without knowing what I will get?"
"Yes...
With that shit of points you won't be able to buy anything useful
And in that option are all the possible abilities of the entire omniverse
Who knows... maybe you'll get an amazing ability... although there are not many possibilities, there are many more bad abilities than good ones
It's not like you have anything to lose though.
The worst thing that can happen to you is that you get a junk ability that you can buy right now "Broly answered giving him a cold description of reality
A cold description of reality that the Mc couldn't refute, as much as he hated taking risks "... OK...
Unfortunately you are right...
I choose the FUCKING RANDOM option"
Clinck!
Mc pressed the FUCKING RANDOM option and as if it were a slot machine, billions of abilities passed at high speed through the inventory screen, a speed that was getting slower and slower.
What was happening was obvious; the ability that remained on screen at the end would be the one that the Mc would take to the One Piece universe
[Please Satan let me get something useful to survive in that world
I'm not asking for much, just something minimally useful
Something like increased physical strength...
A normal quirk...
The sharingan... no, the Rinnegan!
Alucard's genetics!
The Stand The World Over Heaven!
The Tengen Toppa Gurren Laggan!
SOMETHING!] The Mc thought agonizingly, crossing his fingers as he looked desperately as the different abilities passed through his screen more slowly, until finally the roulette stopped at...
¡Contractual Magic!
"Oh not bad, you have unlocked a supernatural ability for the world you are in
We use this type of abilities a lot in my reality, although this is its nerfed version it is very useful" Broly said, giving the verdict on the ability that had been drawn by lottery to the Mc
However, the Mc didn't trust Broly's evaluation, his sixth sense told him non-stop that something was wrong with the ability he had obtained "Contractual Magic?
What the hell is this!"
"A magic that forces those with whom you use it to fulfill their promises and contracts, whether written or verbal, according to the established conditions.
I repeat, it is very useful" Broly replied, providing a general description of one of the most used abilities in Origin Reality
"Seriously?" The MC asked with hardly any expressiveness
"Yes" Broly replied almost automatically
"AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT ABILITY HELP ME TO SURVIVE IN A WORLD WHERE A GUY CAN DESTROY AN ISLAND BY EATING A FUCKING FRUIT OR BY SWINGING HIS SWORD!!?" Shouted the Mc, who could no longer suppress all the frustration he had accumulated since he woke up
Fortunately Broly wasn't bothered by that outburst, in fact he was surprised that the Mc had shown so much patience "I don't know...
The reincarnated people are born with a better memory… maybe between that and this magic you can become the best notary in One Piece…"
"...
... ...
... ... ...
Why the hell do I want to be a notary in that world!?" The Mc said that he was no longer angry, simply devastated, in that world problems are solved by force not through a fucking law firm
"No idea... I just give ideas...
But you'd better try another profession, I don't think a notary film will be well received by the public" Broly replied, worried about the sales of his new company, which he stole from the former owner but wanted to see it grown again.
And being reminded that his new life would be an open spectacle for all to see depressed him even more, not only would he have no useful powers, he wouldn't even have privacy!
Something that plunged him into an almost infinite spiral of negativity
"This day is getting better by the minute...
If I continue like this, I'm sure I'll die before my birth...
Is there any Isekai protagonist who died like this?
I'm sure I'll set a trend..."
"Look, my only offer is to give you a universal translator in addition to Contractual Magic.
I know what it means to be reincarnated and not understand Japanese, it's a nuisance that I would like to avoid you...
But I can't give you anything else, the rules have to be followed!" Broly said taking pity for the last time on the poor soul that he had brought to his office to enjoy at his expense, at first he was amused, but now he even felt sorry for him
Aish...
... I guess we beggars can't be picky...
At least I have a second chance to live in an interesting world... and at least I will still be able to see the end of One Piece...
... I accept the notarial magic and the translator..." The Mc replied, who gave up and got used to the idea that the beginning of his new life wouldn't be glamorous like the typical Isekai protagonists with infinite cheats
Therefore, upon hearing the affirmative response from the Mc, Broly sat once more at his desk to activate a lever and thus start the Isekai adventure that would bring him financial benefits "Perfect, I expect great things from you.
Make sure your life is interesting!
Don't disappoint me!
My friend..."
"Wait...
In what time, sea, race and... "Tried to ask the Mc to know more details of his next life... before falling through a hole that opened under his feet "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
MOTHERFUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR..."
...
...
...
"I love this lever...
Anyway... now it's time for the JOJO's marathon!" Said Broly after saying saying goodbye to his new unpaid worker while starting another marathon of one of his favourite series during working hours
