8 Elementary dear Timmy (Part 2)
After the hell march Fred began the training to try to awaken the Kenbunshoku haki and then his training with a hand-to-hand combat, which ended very early today, since Stephen wasn't very cooperative in taking a beating
The next step was improve his practical combat training, in which Fred pounded sandbags to improve mixed martial arts, wielded the 300kg sword, practiced assassination tactics with kitchen knives, perfected the use of his deathly pigtail and tried by all means to awaken in some way or another the Busoshoku haki
"FUCK! ANOTHER FUCKING DAY WITHOUT AWEKENING THE FUCKING HAKI!"
And after expressing how deeply disappointed he was… as always… Fred recovered by doing a slightly less intense training throwing knives, throwing needles and target practice with a blowgun he made himself. A training that Fred and Stephen did together while they talked about their things.
"One question, Fred...
Why do you put so much emphasis on running in training?" Stephen asked as he threw another knife at the target
"It is evident little Timmy
Speed is the king of fights...unless you're fucking invulnerable like Kaidou...seriously, I want to learn Tekkai...
Anyway...
If you are much faster than the opponent you can cut his throat without giving him time to react, it will be almost impossible for him to touch you and if he is extremely stronger than him or you are greatly outnumbered you can easily escape
That's why I focus so much on running… besides, it's the best weapon a child can have in this world until his physical strength improves at puberty" Fred replied who was trying to imitate the Shurikenjustu techniques used in Naruto with knives and needles, but he still needed more practice to reach that absurd level
"My name's not Timmy, but okay...
And… what do you do then when you can't escape from him or beat him with speed?" Asked Stephen, trying to test Fred's arguments
And Fred very seriously replied "Well…
If you can't run away from him in any way, defeat him in any way or even convince him to let you go
There is only one solution..."
"Which is Fred?" Asked Stephen, who for obvious reasons was extremely interested in obtaining this ancient knowledge
An ancient knowledge that Fred imparted to him "You have to undress completely and immediately afterwards, while standing, you have to defecate and a lot in your hands
Screaming like a raging gorilla you'll have to smack your own shit on your chest and face… and with your body and hands full of shit invite in a passive aggressive way to the one with whom you are fighting to come for you
And if you can have an erection much better!
Seeing how crazy, disgusting and degenerate you are, they will most likely run away from you"
"BUAJHHH!
ARE YOU CRAZY!!?? THAT'S STUPID, DISGUSTING AND RIDICULOUS!
Pfff... STEEL! STEEL! STELL!
I was asking you seriously!" Protested Stephen, somewhat angry with the answer, but couldn't help but laugh when imagining Fred doing all that
And Fred, without getting angry at all, answered him "Did you really expect a perfect solution?
If you're in this situation, you're screwed!
If you ask a stupid question don't expect a different answer"
"Mmnn...
Ok… my bad…
And why a sword? Aren't spears or halberds better cutting weapons?" Stephen asked once more, trying to forget what he heard as he threw two knives at once
"On paper they are better, there is no doubt about that, but my vision in the future is to always use a sword in one hand, while in the other alternate with another sword, knives, poison needles, guns or other weapons that can catch my opponent by surprise.
Also, I've seen a lot of people be strong with swords, but few with spears or halberds, it must be easier to be strong with a sword... I guess...
Besides, everyone has their preferences, don't you like use hammers made of 100% metal?" Fred answered as he threw three needles with each hand and one with his mouth making a hexagon with a point in the middle on the target
"Of course I love metal hammers... and machine guns, and cannons, and metal projectile launchers in general...
And why do you also train your neck and jaw?" Stephen asked as he threw a small metallic ball that in the future would contain explosives inside
"The bite is the most characteristic weapon of mammals!
Having a good bite is always beneficial, nobody expects that a human can bite off a limb... one day it will save my life, I'm sure...
The same with my hair, no one expects you to attack with your hair and it's not easy to get used to either, especially when you are also attacked with swords, pistols and other stuff at the same time
My hair has already become a dangerous weapon, but if I ever learn Seimei Kikan, my hair will become another extremely deadly weapon" Said Fred as he imagined the practical possibilities his training and gaining new skills could do in combat. The power of using hair in combat cannot be underestimated, Both Boa Sandersonia, Boa Marigold and Kumadori had shown that it can be a very dangerous weapon, especially if hidden weapons were added inside and it was strengthened with Busoshoku haki
"And since I'm naming everything...
Why throwing knives, needles and blowguns?
Wouldn't you rather train with a crossbow or something until you get a real gun to practice?" Stephen asked as he took out of his other backpack a crossbow made of metal that he had built himself, which he fired to check its firepower.
"Mainly because they are easy to carry around, easy to hide and take out for sneak attacks, plus they are silent and can have toxins applied to them…
As for crossbows, no thanks, they are too different from pistols...
Also, I'll still use throwing weapons even if I get pistols, unlike crossbows..." Fred answered as he practiced with his blowgun against the target, which was already almost full of projectiles.
"And why do you practice with all those weapons and also hand-to-hand combat?
Aren't you diversifying too much?
In my opinion at this rate you will end up being good at many things, but you won't be an expert at anything... and that's bad in case you didn't know..." Stephen said as he also throw his favourite hammer in the metal arrow he had fired a few seconds earlier, sinking it deeper into the target.
"Do you really think that unarmed combat is something unnecessary when having weapons?
What happens if one day I run out of weapons, someone steals them, someone destroys them or I meet an opponent who makes my weapons useless?
You have to be versatile little Timmy" Fred replied almost sarcastically as he quickly stole some of Stephen's knives and swung them hard at the arrow to drive it deeper into the target.
"As always you are too negative and paranoid, to absurd limits sometimes...
Like your stupid obsession with having your bed away from the walls and not having shelves above it, your other obsession with building shelters under shelters or about not telling anyone about your super powers...
Seriously, you're a catastrophist...
AND DON'T CALL ME LITTLE TIMY!
I'M STEPHEN!" Stephen yelled as he tried to find more throwing knives in his backpack, but he had already spent them all.
"Death lurks everywhere, even in your room
You have to be cautious to the point of being paranoid if necessary
Anything to survive... unless it's to get Kenbunshoku Haki... I need it..." Fred answered with extreme seriousness as he remembered the tragic and absurd experience that brought him to this world... and he swore on his old grave that he wouldn't repeat the same mistakes
"I haven't met someone as negative as you Fred...
Although in your defense I don't know many people either..." Stephen said who approached the target with Fred to pick up the projectiles to be able to continue practicing a little more
They kept talking and talking as they trained as efficiently as possible, running to the wooden targets to collect the projectiles and continue practicing once again
"By the way, Fred, don't you think it's about time you explain to me what your objective is?
I mean, why the hell do you train in this extreme way?
You never tell me..." Stephen asked as they resumed the quiet, albeit deadly and dangerous outdoor projectile throwing practice with hardly any security measures, as if they were a Konoha childs
"Hmm...
Come on, today I feel generous, try to guess...
If you come closer, even a little I'll confess, after all I've already told my father, soon it won't be a secret if he has told your father or mother" Said Fred as he threw his fine but sharp needles again
And Stephen, since he had nothing to lose, accepted that stupid challenge "Ok... I'll try...
Do you want to be the strongest man in the world?
Do you want to be a Navy Admiral?
Do you want to be a Chief Admiral of the Navy?
Do you want to be a Yonkou?
Do you want to be the new King of the Pirates?
Do you want to conquer the world?
You want..."
"I want to be fucking rich!" Said Fred suddenly
"The... THE WHAT!?
What the hell is the relationship between training like crazy and being rich?" Stephen exclaimed, that he wasn't able to create a connection in his privileged almost shaved head
"It's all connected, little Timmy" Fred said, trying not to laugh at Stephen's expression as he imitated Troey McClour's voice.
"Stop calling me with other names..." Stephen protested again
"In this world, if you are not strong, the strongest can steal all your money whenever they want.
One of the keys to being rich is to be strong enough to defend yourself and your property in case that happens, but above all be intimidating enough so that no one dares to think about touch anything that is yours
You can hire strong people to protect you, obviously, but it's always better to be able to do things on your own, especially to protect your own life and propriety" Said Fred as he hatefully visualized on the target the face of a mobster, bandit, pirate and tax collector trying to steal all his money earned through his hard work
CRACKK!!!!
An explanation that kept upsetting Stephen's common sense "But...
That's what the Navy is for, which..."
"The Marine that will arrive after you have been robbed and/or killed and that in the hypothetical case that they manage to catch that son of a bitch, they will keep what they have stolen from you, whether you are alive or dead?" Fred said, cutting off Stephen's speech before he said something stupid. The typical and almost natural stupidity in every innocent, happy and kind child who didn't understand how the world really worked
"Mmm... ok... I'll buy your explanation" Stephen answered, who after some logical analysis understood that Fred's explanation seemed correct... something that darkened his world perspective a little, since he realized that he couldn't even trust the Marine despite what the newspapers said
"And not only that, being strong is also one of the easiest ways to get rich.
Have you seen how many pirates are emerging since Roger's death? Have you seen how many millions are offered for their heads?
If you're strong enough and you manage to catch some of them you can retire young" Said Fred finishing his speech about why his almost suicidal daily training had a logical explanation and a direct relationship with getting rich
"That's your plan? Become a bounty hunter?
If so, why do you study so much?" Stephen asked again, still finding things that didn't quite add up… also because he is a nine year old boy who is in the stage of the continuous question
"Elementary, my dear Little Timmy!
You don't just need muscle to kill pirates...
There are many things to know, such as sailing, preparing explosives, preparing poisons, preparing medicine in case of injury... many things...
But it's still the easiest way for you and me to get rich at very young age!
And when we get really rich, we'll retire at the edge of the civilization in a paradisiac island where we'll have everything we want without having to work again… and where no one will bother us or come to collect taxes despite being fucking rich.
THE TRUE DREAM!!!" Said Fred as he put the training aside and rubbed Stephen's nearly shaved head, which was addictive to pet
"Ara ara…
I don't know who this Timmy is, but I'm sure he didn't know that he had agreed to join you in such a dangerous adventure...
In fact, I think it's the first time this Timmy has ever heard of anything like that" Answered Stephen in an extremely sarcastic and apathetic manner in protest at his continued name changes.
"HAHAHA!
You don't like the idea?
You and I working side by side to get rich and in the not too distant future to be able to retire and have a quiet and comfortable life where we can do what we want without anyone stopping us?" Fred asked without stopping to rub Stephen's shaved head, which didn't bother him at all as he loves personal contact.
"I don't look as far into the future as your Fred, I enjoy the present...
Besides, I already have a quiet life, where I do what I want, I have a lot of fun... especially thanks to your craziness... and I have almost everything I want together with the people I love the most in the world, like mom, Dad, Uncle Norman and of course you too Fred.
I like everything as it is, my life is perfect as it is right now... I don't need to hunt pirates to improve it..." Stephen replied as he tried to affectionately hug Fred, who dodged said hug as if he were an eel
"What you say is very sweet...
However, you have to think a little about what to do in the future, after all the only thing certain in this Omniverse is that things change...
To all this...
Haven't you included Tania in your list of people you love?" Fred asked with a mischievous smile, who wanted to change the subject to a less compromising and less mature one... at least from a certain point of view...
"Why do you say so?" Stephen asked surprised
"Really?
You have a head full of junk sometimes, it's quite evident..." Said Fred insinuating at full power with his verbal and non-verbal language that the serious Tania had a crush on Stephen
A hint so powerful and obvious that even a nine-year-old like Stephen understood "Wait... you don't mean that..."
"Yes...
Everyone in the village knows, except you..." 'Though I can't blame you little Stephe
Normally you don't realize when a girl likes you, but it's easy for you to detect when a girl likes someone other than you...
Because of this male curse I have missed a lot of opportunities in the past, but don't worry, your friend Fred is here to help you' Replied Fred, who felt he was doing the good deed for the day
Besides, he was amused to see Stephen's idiotic expression at that moment
"What!? This...wait...
So that day… that means…" Stephen stammered in a panic as he reviewed in his mind the interactions he had recently had with Tania with this new fact in mind
The result?
His face turned completely red as he realized the truth.... and very embarrassed for feeling foolish that he hadn't realized something so obvious he tried to accuse Fred of the same thing "And... and... what about you and Sara...
It's obvious that she likes you...
Haven't you noticed as I have?
TRUE!?
STEEL! STEEL! STEEL!"
"Of course I had noticed...
Sara, she is a very cute girl, but no thanks, I am only interested in women who have passed puberty...
Beautiful women who have good hips, a pert ass, large breasts... and I have to admit that I have a certain preference for light-colored eyes, such as green, blue, yellow, orange, red or pink ...and fantasy colored hair, such as blue, red, orange, green or pink...
That's my kind of woman, so no thanks..." Fred replied as he visualized the anime women of his dreams in his mind
And not only him, Stephen also began to visualize that prototype of a woman and the image he obtained forced him to ask "Wait a minute...
Why is that description so similar to my mother's?"
"This...
I'm going to run on the beach again...
If I survive, take me in the wheelbarrow back home, please" Fred said as he put on his Dragon Ball training gear again and ran at a higher speed than before, as if he was running away from something.
"Yes, I will do it...
Like eeeeeeeevery day, before, now and I hope after too…" Stephen replied with a smile as he watched his best friend play the idiot again.
One of the many things he always expected to see when he got up in the morning, day after day.
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