2 In a stranger’s bed

The bed today feels nighty and cool. It feels too pillow-soft.

'Maybe mom changed the sheet,' I think as my eyes flutter open and the first thing that I feel is a bad headache. It feels like a million drums are being slammed in there. I place my right hand on it and when I look up at the ceiling, I jolt.

This isn't my ceiling. It is a white tray ceiling with recessed light unlike mine which is a drywall.

My brows knots in confusion and I look by my side trying to comprehend my environment. A wide window with wine cotton that encompassed the whole wall is what my eyes meet with. Turning to my other side, the expression on my face darkens as I see a man lying beside me.

I shoot up from the bed and that's when the white blanket covering me falls exposing my naked body. I sit there for a while frozen. The man who is by my side chest is fully on display while the blanket covers his waist downwards. He is fast asleep and his breathing is heavy.

My mouth stays wide open as I try to remember what happened last night and memories flash. One of me dancing erotically with him. I also remember his lips trailing up and down on my neck and his hands being placed around my waist. A low masculine voice sounds in my head...You're so sexy

I bite my lips in anger realizing what occurred. The fact that I slept with a stranger is angering but what is hurting and more inciting is that this damn jerk took advantage of me while I was drunk. 

I feel rage- a pure one since I am someone who hates randomly giving her body out. Even in relationships, I only get intimate in this manner with my partner when the emotions are very strong.

My lips begin to shake and tears begin to well in my eyes but I hold it. I'm not a weak girl. I am not the type to cry Or let situations weaken me.

I try to think further about what happened but I am halted by a voice "Hey, how did you get here?" The guy beside me suddenly says and my head snaps in his direction.

The look of surprise and shock is one he mirrors on his face and that disgusts me further.

He must've seen the murderous look on my face as he began to talk "Hey, I am equally as confused.." He says but the next words stay in his mouth as my hand comes in contact with his cheek.

"How dare you? Who gave you the right to touch me?! Why am I here?!" I ask but he shrugs giving me a confused look. The anger in me intensifies as my heart squeezes more.

Right now, with the way he is behaving, it feels like I am the one who should be explaining to him, Or more like the look saying 'You had your fun, don't you remember?'

This f*ckboy is getting on my nerves. I place my facepalm myself trying to control my emotions. After staying still for some seconds, I drag the blanket out of his body, leaving him naked, and roll it around mine.

"Hey...what's wrong with you?" He asks as the blanket leaves his body but I just ignore him knowing that if I reply, it will start with yelling then the yelling would turn to cry and the last thing I want is to cry before this damn guy. It would be foolish of me.

The next step is to go away and try to forget it. My former plan was to beat him up. That is what I usually do to boys who mess up with me but I changed my mind seeing how emotionally and physically weak I am. All I want to do now is get out of here and try to figure myself out. I just want to try to stabilize myself since all that has happened from yesterday to today is too much for me to take.

I scoot at the edge of the bed and stand up. I am about to walk towards my clothes which I can see scattered on the floor but he grabs my hand.

"Hey, I wasn't in my senses just as you weren't nothing more, okay?" He says and this statement makes my blood harder.

The fact that he openly lied and had the guts to even do it rudely is madly infuriating. I haven't had this kind of anger in a long while.

I turn back, walking close to him, and slam my right hand on his cheek. I do so again not giving him time to recover from the previous one then I give him one more "You're a shameless man. A useless man. You think wealth is all about it. You h*rny pig! Rot in hell." I say and then I walk to my clothes, pick them up from the floor, and walk out of the room.

Immediately I step out, I halt. The house structure is maddening. The beautiful lacquered walls, the extended curtains, the armchairs covered in velvet, the marble flooring, the large-scale art, and the luxurious leather couches got me drooling.

I walk closer, placing my hand on the baluster as I continue staring. It has been so long since I've stepped into an exotic house and right now, I feel Deja Vu. It is making me remember my home- the one that was available before the death of my father. How beautiful, how lively it was, and how happy we were.

The time when I had everything I ever wanted. When I wore the most fashionable clothes, ate the best food, had money at my disposal, and also had the best thing ever- peace of mind.

I didn't have to wake up every morning or walk for over ten hours daily. I wasn't the one who bore the family's responsibilities. Life was very cheerful then but now, life is so void for me.

No hope, little happiness, more tears, and a torn family.

I shake my head remembering where I am. I hastily remove my hand from the baluster and I begin to walk downstairs. I can now hear some clinking sounds, footsteps, and voices. I also see a maid now dusting one of the leather couches and when she looks up and her eyes meet mine, I remember our nanny, Helen.

A lovely person who I had been with since I was just a child. She was someone I also lost. She died of rheumatoid arthritis when I was sixteen. I can remember how badly I cried back then. How hard it was for me to adjust since that was the first disaster that happened in my life.

This woman reminds me of her. The way she's looking at me right now, her age, and her structure are similar to that of  Helen.

I keep on moving forward as I clean my single tear.  Everything about this place is making me emotional. What occurred in it, the memories it's bringing back,  the person in it, and what made me get in here and I don't want to be. I need to be strong.

I finally dash out of the house and I continue walking, now moving towards the steel sliding gate.

There is a lodge beside it and knowing that the gate-keeper is staying there, I walk towards it and bang the door.

"Hi. I need your help with the door." I say and when I hear footsteps I sigh relieved since the thought of being stuck here is maddening,

A tricenarian comes out who is in a doorman uniform "Good morning ma'am. I hope you haven't been waiting for too long?" He asks and I shake my head.

I gesture towards the gate and he gets me as he brings out an RF remote and presses a button.

Without even waiting for a second, I dash out of the damn mansion. I turn back looking at it one more time. It's a big mansion covered in white and blue paintings. The rear garden is laid to lawn with large established flower beds.

When I look at the address plate, I realize that I am on Whitney Island which is a forty-minute walk from where I stay in midtown Savannah.

I bite my lips wondering why life is so unfair. Why do the bad people always have a peaceful life while the good ones have a rough one? The tears I have been holding begin to pour out from my eyes as the pang in my heart is now too much. It's too much for me to bear. Just why? Why did all the bad things have to happen to me? What did I do wrong?

I have tried, tried to mend my life. I have given up my dreams for the peace of my family, for everyone's good, and for our unity but yet...there's no change.

There's no change in my life. No change in my family's life, no peace of mind nor happiness.

I squat resting my back on the boundary wall. I don't even know where to go. I don't feel like going to my house. I can't bear seeing my mother's face. She would remind me of my disappointments.

My worst fear is now here and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know how to move forward. The disappointment is just too much for me to bear. I can't even see a reason to keep being a workaholic. For which family? I will be deceiving myself if I say I still have a family.

I just had siblings now and only siblings.

I miss my father, I miss my nanny and I miss my old mother. I wish I could still be that sixteen-year-old girl who had everything she wanted. I wish these four years hadn't been this tough. I know I hear that everyone goes through different problems and things will get better with time but this...what I am going through, is too much. I have accepted it as my fate.

Maybe the good time in my life has passed and the rest of my life Or let me say, most of my life is meant for struggles.

I stay there as I keep gazing upwards. This silence is what I need right now. I just want to feel void for a while. I don't want to think about anything since it can only make things worse.

I gaze blankly at the sky but it doesn't take long before I feel a hand on my shoulder. Wondering who it could be, I open my eyes but I wish I hadn't as my eyes come in contact with the f*king amber eyes guy.

My tears are clouding my vision so I can't see his expression or his eyes but I am sure that he's looking at me with a disgusted look.

This j*rk! He can never understand half of my pain. He can never understand how it feels to do hard labor Or carry a family's load on your shoulders. The only thing people like him think and care about is how to get their way into girls' panties.

I gather all the strength left in me and use it to stand up. I wipe my face and I am about to walk away but he grabs my wrist.

"Hey. I am so sorry about what happened. I didn't mean to hurt you this way but when I say I was drunk too, I mean it. I would never do that to a girl if I am sane," He utters but I jerk my hand off from his.

To hell with him and his justification! I wish I had the strength to deal with him but I don't. I don't have time to reply to him, curse him, or do other worse things to him, my strength is all drained.

I drag my hand from him as I continue walking to nowhere.