90: Feelings

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When she finishes arguing with the poor sailors, Lilian steps up to speak.

"I knew it would be good to have you around. I should tell my asshole cousin what happened so he'll learn to listen to me, although I'll have to wait until we get ashore..." says Lilian, leaning back against the spot on the edge of the deck where, until a while ago, Charity was standing.

"You don't seem to get along despite being family. Was it always like that or is there some other reason?" I ask her quizzically about her relationship with her cousin.

"Yeah, sort of." she says, sighing "We never got along very well, but ever since he found out his father was removed from office and sent away from the capital because of me, our relationship has gotten worse. Anyway, it was what had to be done. In our family, women are the ones who have the privilege of succession as heads of the family. As a result, my uncle has always been a little resentful of my mother and, logically, of me. That's also why, although he is older, he has a lower rank in the family than me, and as I thought he should have some punishment for what he did to Julia, I sent him away.... But I never thought that it could lead to his death... if he's really dead."

"Does Victor know what happened to his father's group in the forest?" I ask, understanding better now the episode we saw as we boarded.

"Yes, I guess he senses it, although we haven't talked about it." She says, turning around to look at the sea, "but let's change the subject.... I should reward you and Charity in some way for helping us save the ship, but we can't spare anything until we get home, so the reward will have to wait."

"I don't need any reward. I could help, and I did," I say, turning to look at her. "Besides, I was also saving my life and Deirdre's by taking out those creatures."

"You appear to get along really well with that therian. Are you two a couple?" She asks, not taking her eyes off the sea.

"What?!! no.." I ask, unintentionally raising my voice "Why do you say that?"

"I don't know. Since you're always hanging out together... I thought maybe you were dating," said Lilian distractedly.

"Following that logic, I could ask you the same thing about Sebastian," I tell the girl, while I hit Azur to stop him from sending me images where Deirdre and I are hugging.

"Sebastian has been my bodyguard for as long as I can remember..." explains Lilian, still not taking her eyes off the sea "His family has always had a friendly relationship with ours, and that's why most of Sebastian's relatives work for my family in one way or another. When I was born, my parents wanted to assign me a bodyguard who was around my age so that I would have someone to keep me company since I am an only child. It had to be someone a few years older, though, so that the person selected would have time to train. And it had to be someone my family trusted.... Anyway, Sebastian met all those requirements.... The fact that he can't talk didn't quite fit my parents' idea of a 'friend/guardian' for me, but they accepted him anyway."

"Fine, but one thing doesn't take away from the other." I say, smiling, "You seem to be getting off topic on purpose."

"Don't be stupid, I was just explaining our situation to you..." she says, turning around to look at me with a slight frown, "but if you're so interested, we're just friends.... He's almost like a brother to me."

"Ok, but you're the one who started it. I just played along," I say, averting my gaze to the sea. "Let's talk about something else..."

After that, our conversation returned to the topic of the ship and its repair. After which Lilian began to give me details about how they had managed to combine, with Charity's help, the technomancy of our continent with the technology of the new continent. And how obtaining new innovations that allow the development and prosperity of the inhabitants of our continent is another of the main reasons for the expedition, besides eliminating the threat of the orc empire and allowing the liberation of the oppressed races of the new continent.

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We've been sailing for two months now, and according to Charity, we should be about to reach the new continent, which is great because there's not much to do on the boat.

The only interesting thing that has happened during this time is that, from time to time, we've been attacked by the same kind of star-shaped creatures that attacked us the first time. But now that we are familiar with them, we get rid of them quickly every time they attack us again.

During all this time, I entertained myself by training my magic, since I couldn't physically train with Deirdre or Charity for fear of breaking part of the ship. Thanks to that, my mana bomb and mana piercing bullet skills leveled up, both to level 6.

Deirdre has continued to try to learn to control her mana with my help, but has not had any luck in her attempts. It seems that her talent for magic is practically nil, although she refuses to give up....

I am currently going to see her because, although she usually spends most of her time practicing in our cabin, this time she skipped dinner to practice, which I find very strange since she has always been very picky about meal times.

As I enter our room, I see the little Therian lying with her back to me, "Deirdre? Are you sleeping?"

'It's weird... she has never gone to sleep without eating before.'

So, as I get no answers, I walk over with Azur on my shoulders to check if she is indeed sleeping. And, when I position myself on the side of her bed to see her face, I see that her face is furrowed with tears.

"Deirdre? What's wrong with you?" I ask worriedly, looking at her face, but she shuns my gaze.

"N-nothing..." she says between sobs "I'm just a little tired..."

"That's the first time I've ever heard of tiredness making people cry" I say mockingly, trying to force her to look at me, but Azur digs her claws into my shoulder upon hearing my comment.

"Leave me alone! I'm not in the mood for this now..." she says, looking at my face angrily, but still crying.

"And what are you in the mood for?" I ask, glad that I got her to look at me "Talk to me. If you don't, I can't know what's wrong with you, but don't insult my intelligence by telling me you're just tired when there's clearly something bothering you."

"I... I've been thinking..." she cries, and her expression changes to one of anguish, whereupon Azur leaves my shoulders and jumps onto the bed to be closer to her "What if we're not strong enough and my parents die because of this? What if we just make the situation worse? The orcs are very strong... "

"So what does that matter? You're strong too, stronger than you think. Don't forget everything we went through in the labyrinth," I tell her in a reassuring tone.

"I'm not that strong, and the orcs are many..." she says, starting to tremble and stutter "what we're trying is crazy"

"It isn't. Relax... This is just accumulated stress from being cooped up in this wooden shell for so long," I tell her, climbing onto the bed and sitting on it, after which I hug Deirdre tightly to try to calm her down. "Listen. I don't know if we can win, because I can't see the future. But I promise you this. Both you and your family will be safe. I will see to that. Even if I have to steal a ship and sail alone back to the kingdom with you. I will not let you die, under any circumstances." I say, and the memory of what happened with Joseph and Ragnar gives firmness to my voice.

'This time it will be different' I think, and Azur agrees with me through the link.

'We are much stronger than before and we will not fail to protect what we have decided to protect.'

"Thank you, master," Deirdre says, stopping her shaking. And, even though I can't see her face, Azur sends me a picture of how a shy smile gradually appears on the girl's face. "I can never repay you for all that I owe you."

When I notice that she is no longer trembling, I start to let go of her and try to sit her on the bed, but she clings to me and doesn't seem to want to let me go.

"Don't be silly; that's what friends are for," I say as I gently stroke her head and settle back to lean my back against the wall of the room, so I can see her face.

With that, Deirdre closes her eyes as she lets me spoil her, and little by little, I watch as the tension she was holding dissolves.

"Can we... Can we stay like this for a while?" asks Deirdre shyly in a whisper, still with tears streaking down her face.

"Yes, as long as you want. In the meantime, tell me about your parents. You hardly ever mention them when you're with me." I say to distract her.

"Ahh… it is just that I have other things on my mind when I'm with you..." says Deirdre in a hesitant voice, and after a few moments, she continues in a firmer voice, "My parents are great. They're kind and loving, like all parents are. And they've given me everything they could, considering our enslaved state..... They are, and I was, owned by the Armstrong family, Charity's family. They are a family of craftsmen well known in the empire, and despite that, they were never influenced by imperial customs.... Charity's family always treated us and the rest of their slaves as people, regardless of our status. Their slaves must still serve them, of course, but they are treated far better than slaves from other families...."

As Deirdre speaks, her voice grows weaker and weaker, and seeing that I ask her nothing, she stops talking.

'I let her speak to clear her mind of our impending battle against the orc empire, but I am at a loss for words.... I asked her about her family, and she ended up telling me about her former owners.... Haa… Anyway, that rotten system in which the slaves of the orc empire live will change soon.'