Final Chapter

"Let's go now Bella."

I looked at daddy and smiled at him.

"Uhm dad susunod ako." I said. He only nodded and went to the car.

I'm here now infront of my husband's grave. I bend over to touch his lapida.

MIRU ANDERSON GUERRERO II

Loving son, husband, and father

Miru died in my arms that night. Sobrang sakit na sa bisig ko mismo siya nawalan ng buhay. Sobrang sakit na hindi ko man lang nasabi sa kanya na magkaka-anak na kami. Will he continue his chemo pag nalaman niyang buntis ako? Siguro. But that's what I don't want to happen. Ayoko siyang gawin nanaman ang isang bagay dahil lang napipilitan siya.

Days before going back to Bataan nalaman ko na nagdadalang tao ako. I wanted to tell Miru right away pero na-isip ko mas lalo lang siyang maguguluhan kapag nalaman niya. Kaya I decided to keep it from him and just tell him kapag okay na ang lahat.

Mommy Lucy was the only one who knew about me being pregnant. I didn't experienced any morning sickness but my constant change of mood and change in some facial features are enough for her to pin point that I am indeed pregnant. Kaya nagpa check-up agad ako at nalaman ko na I was seven weeks pregnant. Bakit parati akong huli sa balita? I was the last one to know about Miru's condition and now it took me seven weeks bago ko nalaman na buntis ako.

"Hi love, how are you? How's your stay there? Isang buwan ka na diyan ah wala kang balak bumalik?" I chuckled at my own thoughts.

"Ako? Eto lumalaban pa rin. Wag kang mag-alala hindi ko pinapabayaan ang sarili ko. Kumakain din ako ng marami sa tamang oras shempre dalawa na kami eh. Alam mo eleven weeks na si baby, kakagaling ko lang din sa hospital.

You know what's funny? Mommy ni Isla yung ob-gyne ko. Yung kinu-kwento ko sa'yong babae na nakilala ko sa Bataan. Nagkita nga kami kanina eh she actually offered dinner kaso tumanggi ako. Shempre my Saturday is always gonna end up here, with you."

I arranged the flowers I brought for Miru. Tulips. Ito yung paburito niyang bulaklak. Actually, before we met paburito niya ang carnation. But when he found out that I'm allergic to pollens kinalimutan niya na ang carnation. Tulips and rose lang kasi ang pwede sa akin kaya naman yun na din ang nga bulaklak na gusto niya.

Miru was so thoughtful na lahat ng bawal sa akin noon ay iniwasan din niya. I'm allergic to pollens so he get rid of flowers that has pollens. I'm allergic to peanuts kaya hindi na din siya kumakain ng peanuts. He would always say, "Those things aren't as significant as you are in my life."

"Alam mo, miss na miss na kita mahal ko. Pinipilit ko namang hindi umiyak kasi makakasama kay baby pero–" I inhaled deeply. "–pero kasi ang sakit sakit eh"

"Simula high school nakabuntot ka na sa akin. Hanggang sa college. Akalain mo yun, dahil sa akin nag architect kahit wala ka naman alam dun. Mahal na mahal mo talaga ako no."

I composed myself and wipe my tears away.

"Ay siya nga pala, pinagpatuloy ko pa rin yung apprenticeship ko. Sabi kasi ni Sir Ino sayang naman yung nasimulan ko. Bumait din yung mga arkitekto sa firm, hindi ko nga alam kung bakit eh"

I stared at his lapida.

"Miru, ano kaya kung Miru din ang ipangalan ko kay baby? Okay lang ba sa'yo mahal?

Anyway, hindi na ako magtatagal ha. Medyo makulimlim din kasi at kailangan ko na rin kasing magpahinga at naghihintay din si daddy sa akin. I'll see you again next week. I love you." I said as I walked towards daddy.

___

I'm here now in my room. Dito na ulit ako sa bahay ni daddy nakatira. He insisted for me to be back home since he misses me so much and that he wanted to take care of me specially now that I'm pregnant. That didn't sit well with mommy Lucy. Gusto din kasi niyang doon ako sa bahay niya tumira but daddy was really hard headed kaya pumayag na lang din si mommy.

But I visit her a lot. Kung hindi naman ay siya ang bumibisita sa akin dito sa bahay. I even asked her to stay here with us pero she didn't want to leave their house because it was her only remembrance of Miru and his dad.

I heard a knock on my door. "Bella? Nandito si Lucy."

I went towards the door and opened it. Dad signaled me that mommy Lucy was waiting at the balcony. The balcony... It was where my husband bid his goodbye to me.

"Mommy" I said as I kissed her on the cheeks.

She looked at my tummy and smiled.

"How are you Bella?" She asked.

"I'm okay. Surviving" I chuckled.

"Good to know. Anyway, I only came here because of this." She showed me an envelope. "While cleaning Miru's room, nakita ko ito sa cabinet niya. It had your name on it so I assumed it was for you."

I accepted the envelope. "My Isabella", sulat kamay ito ni Miru.

"I won't stay for long Bella. Medyo gabi na din kasi eh"

"Mommy why don't you eat dinner here with us?" I asked her.

"No need. Naghihintay din kasi sila manang sa bahay, I promised to join dinner with her family. Inimbitahan ko kasi sila." She said.

"Okay mommy. Take care okay. If there's any problem, don't ever hesitate to call me."

Hinatid ko si mommy sa labas ng bahay. After that I went to our private living area just infront the stairs. I sat on the sofa and made myself comfortable as I opened the envelope. It was a letter, from Miru.

My Isabella,

As you read this letter, siguro wala na ako. Gusto kong sabihin ang lahat ng ito sa'yo ng harapan pero baka hindi ko kayanin.

They always say a man is much more stronger than a woman. I think it's not true. Because you're always stronger than me, you're always braver than me. When I found out that I have leukemia, the first thing that went though my mind was to cut ties with everyone and just be gone. I purposely broke up with you without a proper explanation with the hope that you won't accept it and you'll follow me wherever. One week had passed pero hindi mo pa rin ako nakita kaya I was so shocked to see you in front of me in Bataan asking the crew to put the harness on you. You bravely finished the zip line without holding my hand, without shouting for help. You bravely finished the activities in inflatable island without seeking for my help. That time, I thought to myself. You're so courageous enough to do things you aren't comfortable with just so you could be with me. Kaya nga sinabi ko sa'yo lahat diba.

Anyway, I found out that you're pregnant. Mommy told me. When you went back to Bataan and had your get-away, me and mommy talked. I told her what I wanted to happen, she accepted it. Akala ko okay na until she told me the news that almost made me change my decisions. How could you not tell me about our baby? How could you hide that from me? I wasn't mad, okay. I was just shocked because you didn't told me. Pero mommy said you really wanted to but you stopped yourself kasi alam mo daw na mas mahihirapan akong mag desisyon kapag nalaman ko. How could you be so selfless my love? How could you not share the burden you're carrying with me?

I don't know kung hanggang kailan nalang ang buhay ko. I don't know if I could still wait for our little angel. What I know is that I'll wait for you to come back. Hindi ako aalis hanggat hindi mo ako pinapayagan. Hindi ako aalis hanggat hindi mo pa kaya. I'll endure all the pain I had in me just so I could make sure that you'll accept everything bago ako magpahinga.

I love you so much my Isabella. And I love our little angel kahit pa hindi ko na siya maaabutan. If it's not too much to ask, can you name him after me? Can it be Miru Anderson Guerrero III? Pero kung ayaw mo okay lang din. Whatever name you'll give him, alam ko ako pa rin ang magiging kamukha niya haha sorry love, my genes will always prevail.

Hanggang dito nalang mahal ko. Hanggang sa muli nating pagkikita. Hanggang sa mabigyan ulit ako ng pagkakataong mahalin ka.

Miru

***

:)