Chapter 13

          Staring at my reflection in the mirror. My pathetic self. Looking like garbage. If I say I don't hate myself then I am lying. I hate myself for being born, I hate myself for being poor, I hate myself for not having any power and having to tolerate all the bullshit thrown at me. I hate my life and most of all, I hate that I can not do anything about it. ( You piece of shit, You are a nobody, gold digger, you are fried, you are just too much to handle, This is where you belong, down there, watching us up here '' All those words came running in my head, they played before like a movie. And they hurt, I won't lie, they hurt really bad that I just want to kill myself and an end to all this. But I can't, I can't break down, I can't give up, I can't die. I have to keep going, I have to keep struggling and taking it all, taking whatever is thrown at me and putting on a smile, until the end, the very end. '' Ha,'' a gasp escaped my lips. As I blinked back the tires which were about to run out '' I can't cry and I know it, I have to hang in there for as long as it takes '' Damn, My hair is a mess '' Looking at my messy hair.

           I put the water running and bent over to wash my hair. Scrubbing my hair with my fingers, it took me a while to get it cleaned. And when I raised, my Uniform got more wet. I took off my uniform shirt, leaving only my inner. Due to my dripping hair, the inner T-shirt began to get wet. I thought of drying my hair with my handkerchief but, it got dirty when I wiped the table at the cafeteria and my shirt got stained from the leftovers. '' oh lord '' I stared at my reflection once again. As my shirt got wet, it became transparent. Good thing I was wearing a black bra.

           Suddenly, a hand appeared in front of me holding a purple handkerchief. My eyes followed the hand all the way up and boom, I locked eyes with those beautiful electric blue eyes. Bianca '' Bianca?'' What does she want, why is she here

    '' Hey Maria?'' she flashed a smile, a smile that didn't reach her eyes

    '' Hi ?'' with an eyebrow raised

    '' here, use this '' she offered dropping me in a confused state. What is she up to, why is she offering me her handkerchief

    '' Oh thanks '' with I smiled, I gently moved her hand away from me '' I will manage ''

    '' You hate me don't you? '' still offering the handkerchief she asked

    '' Pardon?'' what is she saying

    '' it's understandable. But, you may get a cold if you don't dry your hair.....That will be bad don't you think?... I don't think you are the type that would like to miss classes '' Still smile. Is this girl crazy or something? What is she trying to active right now? Did Logan send her here?

    '' I appreciate your concern. I will be fine. I assured her and reached for my Uniform. About to leave, she got in the way, stopping me at my track.

    '' Maria ''

    '' What do you want? Bianca '' I asked, calmly

    '' I know you hate me and I don't blame you.... I will also hate anyone related to the person who bullies me, that is if my brother would let that happen.....  My brother is a total dick... I will admit '' Looking at her. She seemed like a reasonable person but I still don't want to have anything to do with her.  '' Here... ''

    '' I don't hate you ''

    '' what?'' shocked

    '' Just because Your brother is a total..... '' I pause

    '' Dick '' she said, and I raised an eyebrow in confusion at first '' he is a total dick sometimes or will say most of the time '' with a smile

    '' ok,'' nodding, I smiled as well and collected the handkerchief '' Just because your brother is a total dick doesn't mean I hate you. You haven't offended me in any way.... and'' my eyes fell on the handkerchief I was holding, from the textures, anyone would tell that it is an expensive handkerchief. Very smooth against one's skin. I lift my head to size up the lady in front of me and the thought came to my mind. Maybe she is more reasonable than her brother '' You gave me such an expensive handkerchief to wipe my dirt. I can't possibly hate you after this '' she flashed a bright smile

    '' Ok, if you say so....''

    '' I promise to return this tomorrow ''

    '' you don't have..... you can have it '' nodding at her words. Yes, she seems like a reasonable person but it still doesn't make us friends. It would be best to not get involved with her...

    '' I should get going... I don't want to miss a whole class. '' With that, I walk pass her, heading for the door

    '' Maria '' she calls my name with a tone that reads sadness and guilt. I stopped at my track, wondering why she sounded that way '' Don't hate Logan too much '' I turn around to size her up. Was she really telling me not to hate her brother? her brother of all people? '' Logan is not a bad person '' sadness, guilt and pity in her eyes '' Sometimes one is forced to become something that he is not '' Her words were deep, very deep. It got me thinking. Did something happen to Logan? Is that why he is this way?

    '' Oh...'' With a slight nod, I walked out of the ladies' room. What is she trying to say? That I should feel sorry for Logan or what? he is being a dick because he has a sad back story..... Everyone has a back sad story. You don't have to bother people with yours.

           Not thinking too deeply about the matter. I hurried to class. The moment I stepped in. Mr Jo, the Math teacher went silent and all eyes were on me. I notice the shock in everyone's eyes to see me. The guys looked like they were drooling at me while the girls were irritated. I became uncomfortable because the attention I was getting, felt a bit off. Looking doing at my body to see if I had something on me. Realization hit me. My shirt was transparent due to it being wet. Damn, and I was only wearing a bra, thank goodness it was black. '' Shit, I totally forgot '' I whispered under my breath while I walked slowly to my seat. At a distance, I notice, Gorge was asleep. I tried my best to ignore all the attention I was getting.

    '' Hey!!! Miss '' Mr Jo snapped '' stop right there '' I stopped at my track. my day had no plans of getting any better '' What is the meaning of this ?'' I turn around to look at him, noticing his frown '' Firstly, you walk into my class like you own it..... wearing who knows what '' irritation in his tone

    '' My apologies sir. There was a little accident at the cafeteria '' I said, knowing very well that he is fully aware of what happened 

    '' where is your uniform?'' he asked. I lift the uniform I was holding. My Jacket which was wet and my shirt was covered in colours. I just hope I will be able to watch the stain off. Displaying the uniform in the air

    '' as you can see sir.... my uniform is a mess and what I am wearing happens to be the inner shirt the school gave to me... '' I smiled '' So I am still in uniform... I guess the school can't even afford a proper uniform with all its might '' look straight at him, leaving him speechless

    '' I see you are shameless and also got a big mouth don't you?''

    '' so are you going to send me out? '' I went straight to the point. If he didn't want me in his class he can simply just send me out, I had no interest in all that he is going to say before he send me out. It is just wasting of time 

    '' What? '' eyes wide open

    '' if you don't want me in your class because I happen to be on display then send me out. ''

    '' is that what you are going to say to me ''

    '' Forgive me sir, but I can not apologise for being on displaying, walking around with no dignity because it is not my fault ''

    '' are you insane? '' I smiled at his question

    ''Maybe I am, maybe I am not... Mr Jo '' the class began to laugh. I hate it when they do this, they act like I am performing a TV show from them or something

    '' Mr JO let her be.... '' a male voice said

    '' Don't ruin this for us.... '' another said

    '' Yeah..... you want to send away those amazing boobs? Please don't '' the guys began to murmur. To be honest, I was irritated. I hated it when my body gets involved in things like this. I may not care about any other thing and will do anything for money but I had respect when it comes to my body and now, here I am? Standing in the middle of the class, almost fully naked. This is all Cassandra's doing. But what can I do but act like I do not care? I do not care what is going on. Be tough and don't break. Suddenly the class went silent leaving me confused. I was just about to turn around to check what is going on when someone put a jacket over me. I was stunned, that familiar scent hit me. I knew that sent, I recognise it from the rooftop. I turn around to see that face, electric blue eyes. Logan. Standing before me with a frown

    '' What the fuck is wrong with you '' he spoke angrily, leaving me in the most confused state ever. What the fuck is wrong with him?