1 That Snowy Feeling

It was January when the snow started to fall from the sky. The same month had the coolest weather in the city that gives people chills to their spine. The hot compress in her hands was freezing which killed the warmness it possessed. Her nose felt cold as ice while the snot was running down to her lips. She wiped it with the back of her right hand which was wearing pink gloves with initials of letters M and A. She walked through people who moved leisurely on the streets. Although she looks like them due to their attire, she was different aside from her eyes being round and having a double lid. She might have pale skin that concealed her nationality, her nose bridge may be a bit sharp, but the holes of it are large and wide. It was the only proof of her Filipino blood.

She followed the footsteps of the boy with his girlfriend. She kept on staring at them as they casually talked to each other while walking side by side. Although she’s wearing thick winter clothes, the coldness has reached her chest like frozen spikes are piercing her. Instead of pain, she could not feel anything aside from that snowy feeling.

The boy and his girlfriend entered a building with posters of the current movies available as she followed them. The cinema at the time had few people inside. The boy and his girlfriend walked towards a poster of a romance film. They argued for a while before deciding to go to the counter to buy the ticket. When the boy was buying the ticket, the girlfriend suggested buying popcorn. When she went to buy the popcorn, the boy was left alone. Meters away from them she’s standing there without walls to hide her. From her pink thick jacket, she held her flip-flop phone from her pocket, and then she opened it and dialed a number before she put it on her ear. The phone of the boy rang and he immediately answered it.

“Where are you right now?” she asked him to the other line.

“I’m with my friends playing arcade. Wae*? ” he said without even thinking. (Why?)

“Geojismal* ” she whispered through her breath after that she ended the call. (You're lying)

“M-Mayu? Yeoboseyo* ? he said without realizing the line was already cut. (Hello?)

The piercing on her chest has become tighter than it reached her throat. With anger, she dialed another number from her phone. As she stared at the girlfriend who was buying the popcorn and drinks, her eyes became teary. Seconds after that the girlfriend answered the call.

“Yeoboseyo?” the girlfriend answered.

“You heard me that day, right? I honestly told you what I feel. I actually do not care if you ended up together. What hurts me was that you hid it from me, your friend.” Mayu said with a firm voice.

Seconds have passed but the girlfriend did not respond.

“I hope both of you will be happy forever.” Mayu said this after she ended the call.

After that call, her tears fell down on her cheeks. She tried to wipe it several times but the tears kept on falling. She tried to breathe through her mouth to calm herself. She saw the boy go towards his girlfriend after buying the tickets. At that moment Mayu decided to turn her back to them to walk away. Her chest felt like it would burst like a full dam. She repeatedly wiped her tears from her face and at the same time wiped the snot on her cold nose. Finally, the pain penetrated her chest. The hurt was not because she was jealous of them or of the fact that they betrayed her. She’s crying her eyes out because she’s saying goodbye. She’s saying goodbye to the broken trusts and lies that once happened in Seoul.