1 HELLO RUDY
I don't think I want to spend another minute in this house not if I'm spending it alone here. I just want my space but seriously I can't fathom whatever she's trying to pull.. you want to know what I feel like doing right . I want to tell her how she's a full blown gossip with her ugly jokes that I'm forced to laugh at so she doesn't feel bad... I even have to listen to them stories that I don't even care about.. if I have to sue her I would, it would be for making me act interested in her whatever stories she has to spill out and I know about them already so jezz I don't fuvkin care.. Am I allowed to use that word but I'm just trying to express myself here... I'm going through allot personally because I don't even know myself talk less of someone getting to know me... I'm messed up.. I'm trying to think straight and kick up but I have to be an unpaid actress and put up a stupid act of having to listen and ask dumb questions like I'm not wise and brilliant enough to know stuff everyone talks about and look stupid worst of this is I have to force my laughter that's an abuse to my personality I'm looking like an animal that laughs at everything when deep down i laugh because I don't want the other party to know I'm putting up a show or I'm not interested or i have things that are bothering me.. I even act like i have no idea most times but the fuvk..
Now this pop corn are getting soft thanks to her for making me wait to listen to another boring session.. Like everytime in my head you want to know what's in there?? It's that tiny voice like save your advice cos I won't hear, you might be right but I really really don't care .. If only people could hear the tiny voices in our head and what they say about...
This unpaid actress is totally exhausted of putting up all the shows it's getting pretty annoying and boring like can't you see read in-between the lines fuvkin read the handwritings on the wall, when I laugh just end the discussion maybe next time I'll clap and have you a standing ovation... How adults think they're wiser but never understand us and blame our century of existence.. atleast I don't have to be born wearing Dem fish jean pants when I have freaking joggers..
I'm just going to write Rudy atleast I speak to someone real
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DEAR RUDY ❣️
Oh Rudy it's Thursday what a good day to get kidnapped or get hit by a fast moving vehicle..
Seriously I'm fine if you truly care to know about my well-being. I've been tough in the pen, Had to join a gang, Made myself a shank, you should see my prison tats. Jokes apart Rudy, People need to start appreciating the efforts I put in to not being a serial killer cos I've had enough of their nonsense...
Well I'm writing you tonight about this person but let's give this human a name.. You love puzzles too so do I.. Let's play.
Hmmm let's call this gender Oleander..
Now I know you'll be shocked and wanting to know why on earth I'll ever name a person that kind of name knowing fully well Oleander is one of the poisonous and dangerous plants in creation.. Mainly it's not only because I don't want you to know the gender of my mystery human. But this person is similar to this plant especially with the person being attractive.Pretty but deadly..
Wildernesses rules says If it's cute and colorful don't touch it because if nature didn't care to hide it then it doesn't care about you.
Yes you and I both know that Oleander is known to affect the digestive system and then the heart. That means the person is known to affect your heart and Oleander as a plant by cutting the plant, or pruning you can get this poison on your hands. In addition by getting involved with this person it's dangerous so just as You should always wear gloves when working around the oleander plant you should be guarded when with this person because loving is deadly just as pretty but deadly..
Despite the danger, oleander seeds and leaves are used to make medicine. So despite the danger ⚡ of this person there's good . Besides an adage says where's there's advantages there's also disadvantages.. incase you don't know Oleander is used for heart conditions and alot.. Awesome right but trust me you want to becareful.
Now I hope you understand me better..
Lately oleander has been on my mind how poisonous can it go...
How do I even get to start this whole mess I got In.....
Rudy don't judge me ok but I'll just hit the nail on the head.
Oleander and I have been kicking in smoothly but trust me there's this desire that keeps me up most times or when I'm communicating or doing anything I just drown in that memory. I remember our first kiss and how now it's countless now, the smell and I still feel the moment, the touch on every inch of my skin. The hot breathe with whispers of sweet dumb talks in my ears.. The adrenaline rush the burning flame of the tension between us, how I crave for Oleander the soft Milky kisses that starts with the faded hot air voice behind my ear to the kisses stroking down to my neck gently and I could already fill my body giving in to this poison as it weakens me and even controls me to feel this sensation with our lips locking in passion and I feel the tongue in mine and I can't help but have the feelings inside to taste and i go in for it, my hands helpless as it gets and sometimes i just feel like i don't want this slow gentle ride but grab this gem in a rush because the teases are killing inside of me as i crave for more and beg inside for mercy....
Goodness Rudy let me write to you by morning tomorrow I think someone is calling my name outside.. how I feel like disappearing most times..
