Chapter - 10

You've decided.

I jumped out of bed in the morning and swore in my heart.

I will charge at Mr. Yo-kun today.

It might be a trap. The doubt hasn't gone away.

But even though I'm walking in place, nothing changes.

Too much time has passed for me to slowly solidify the ground and think....

It's been seven years since I met Mr. Yo.

As long as I couldn't do anything in elementary school and middle school, I have to resolve the regret that I couldn't strike the decisive blow in my freshman year.

I finally made up my mind.

Looking at it from a different perspective, maybe it was thanks to that underclassman.

She's been trying to play tricks on Mr. Yo, and that's why I'm willing to take action.

I also realized that I didn't care what it took.

If it wasn't for her intervention, I might not have been able to change my waiting attitude of "... from Mr. Yo-kun's side," and time would have passed without me being able to do anything but passively flirt.

In that sense, I guess I can be grateful.

She's an abomination, and I'd like to use her as a target for archery, but she's become a pushing factor behind the scenes.

No... is not grateful.

She is an enemy.

Even if this courage was given to me, it is still mine.

I don't thank my enemies. I do not forgive.

All I give is an arrow in return.

But even if you end up attacking him, he's the problem.

I didn't always hesitate after I got to know him, and there were times when I tried to push through when I felt "ah, it's a good atmosphere...".

But Yo-kun's dullness was an iron wall.

He casually destroyed the "good atmosphere".

With a behavior that could be described as insensitive, he took away my momentum in an instant.

It somehow chilled the atmosphere and made me feel like, "This is not a good time. Let's do it later."

Yo-kun is a specialist in sapping enthusiasm.

If you don't keep a very strong mind, you might end up with a sloppy result.

I think it's important to go in and take him down in one fell swoop.

There, I consulted Azusa.

"You know, what do you think we should do to make sure that Yo-kun falls?"

"Maybe we can hit him from behind with a stick and create a ready-made fact while he's immobilized."

Wow, that's a little too violent.

At best, I was thinking of taking a sleeping pill.

"You need to think more seriously."

"You know, I haven't had a boyfriend since I was born. Don't make me think the way you think about unpopular girls."

Azusa furrows her eyebrows as she sucks strawberry milk from a paper carton through a straw.

She takes her mouth away from the straw and stares at me.

"Huh? Why?"

"No, I don't know. I just thought of something. For a girl like you to be right next to me and not want to touch me, could it be that you're a soldier──"

"Oh, no."

I realized after I answered.

No, no. This answer is inappropriate.

"What? What, you're so full of conviction. You know, have you seen it, have you seen it?"

"Why are you asking me twice? I don't have one, I mean, I don't have one. That's more like it."

Deny and try to change the subject.

"It's not fair to ask me for relationship advice. You can't use sympathy tricks to get me to answer. You'll never be able to answer even if you ask me. You'll just have to do it with grit and determination. Chet."

Azusa was no help.

She's an athletic accountant with no romantic experience and a bit of a brain.

Maybe it can't be helped.

If it were up to me, I would be busy raising my children, first a daughter and then a son.

I couldn't will myself mentally.

What should I do then?

Even if I said I liked him, I couldn't think of a way to make him look back at me, even when we were alone together, he wouldn't touch me at all.

I don't want to bump into him. Once you bump into him, you want to take him down.

Fortunately, Yo's parents are away from home right now.

They said they would be back the morning after at the earliest.

If I really want to attack, I have only today.

I didn't want to fail.

"Oh, well, there's one way to do it."

The unhelpful counselor threw away the empty paper packet and rummaged in his pockets.

He pulled out his wallet, and from it he pulled out──a hit of tablets.

"What is this?"

"Some kind of stimulant. I don't know if it's hydrochloric acid or citric acid, but something like that. If you take it, it works for an hour."

"Is it illegal or something?"

"Well, no. Someone I know gave it to me with the words, "Turn any sexual cripple into an animal," but I was thinking of throwing it away because I have no use for it. I'll give you one tablet. I'm afraid of the consequences if I use it all."

I nibble on it and cut off a portion with scissors.

"...I wonder if it's okay to drink this."

"I don't know. I can't guarantee it, but from what I've heard, it's very strong, so be careful."

I was hesitant, but I thought it was okay as long as I got it, so I took it.

So now I was definitely mixing it into Yo-kun's dinner.

I was surprised to see the teasing finger, as if it had been aiming for it from the beginning.

──I took advantage of the absence of Yo-kun's dad and mom after school, and when I suggested, "Oh, well, I'll make dinner tonight," he accepted without hesitation.

This has happened many times since then.

Yo-kun is semi-accustomed to eating my cooking, so he didn't seem to feel uncomfortable going into the kitchen to make rice.

As I was preparing it, I suddenly remembered the pills I'd gotten from Azusa earlier in the morning and put them in as a spontaneous action.

I didn't really intend to use it.

Even though it was from a trusted friend, I was resistant to giving him something that wasn't prescribed and whose source I wasn't sure of.

Even without relying on the power of medicine, there was also a sense of urgency....

I wonder if it was because he was nervous that he was so cold without even realizing it.

The appearance of an enemy named Araki Maya made her want to fight back with all her might.

Because she announced her inexplicable departure so that she could be alone with Yoh-kun.

But the day before yesterday was no different from the day before the child appeared.

Even if I don't lose to her, I can't close the distance between me and Yo-kun at this rate, can I...?

Maybe it was because my anxiety was rising.

I wasn't going to stop at anything.

But I couldn't turn my eyes away from my own weakness, realizing that not doing whatever it takes is the opposite of not being able to convince Yo-kun.

Weakness──I wonder if that's why I'm going through the motions and excluding him.

But I couldn't think of backing down now.

I had no choice but to charge forward.

Mr. Yo might be angry if he knew what I did.

...Yes, it's okay.

Yo-kun──be as angry as you like.

I want you to punish me to the marrow of my bones with all that anger.

I had no intention of hating it. I was willing to undergo any kind of torture.

As I thought about what kind of torture it would be, I couldn't stop smiling from the corners of my mouth with pleasure.

An hour passed after dinner.

Yo and I finished cleaning up the dishes and sat side by side on the sofa, watching TV and drinking after-dinner tea.

──Wouldn't it be better to go back to bed?

By now, it's time to leave.

When I hear such words, I don't have the heart to fight back, so I back away.

But today was different. I told my mom that I'm staying at a friend's house.

She was upset, but I didn't lie to her because we're still friends.

I'm going to start lying from now on.

And even at a time like this, Yo-kun doesn't give me the usual eviction advice, because it's not the time for that.

His eyes are bloodshot. His face is flushed.

If you "look" at the lower half of the body, you can see that it is swollen and hard.

I wonder if this state is called "flaccid." The medicine Azusa gave me seems to have worked.

She's been acting a little unsteady since earlier.

I feel like I'm hesitating, conscious of the subtle distance between me and the person sitting next to me, neither moving away nor getting closer.

A romantic drama was playing on the screen, and a kissing scene was being shown.

Normally, Yo-kun would have lowered his head in embarrassment or coughed, pretending not to care, and changed the channel slightly.

Right now, he was staring at the overlapping lips and lips, as if he were absorbed.

I held back the urge to smile.

Yo-kun is already in a state of melting down, but I don't want to come off as suspicious here.

Instead, I pretend to find his behavior strange and say or try to say, "What's wrong?" in a concerned tone.

Yo-kun looks startled and says, "Oh, it's nothing," and his voice trembles.

One step forward.

It was clear to me that just a little nudge in the back would be enough to break his self-control.

I feel like I've used my last resort. It's in my hands to save or kill.

For some reason, I felt like bullying him.

"You've been acting strange since earlier. Is your face red, and do you have a fever?"

I casually reached out and touched his forehead.

Yo-kun, who was about to jump, jumped and stiffened at the touch.

The heat was transmitted to his palm. It felt very pleasant.

"Wow. You really have a fever, don't you?"

I said nonchalantly and put my face close to hers.

Raise your bangs and cover your exposed forehead.

They look at each other closely.

Yo-kun's eyes are wide open──his pupils are dilated.

"Ku, kurumi...drop, lose..."

I can hear my ears creaking. It's too pleasant.

I sigh slightly and shake his belly as I try to push on──

「Kurumi...augh!"

Next moment. My lips are taken from his with such force that I can't escape even if I try.

It's a strong, hard squeeze. Teeth clash as well. A very rough impulsive kiss. I could tell I wasn't used to it.

My first kiss from Yo-kun... I can't count the number of times I've lightly kissed Yo-kun while he's asleep, but this is the only one he's ever taken away. My eyes filled with tears of joy.

After finally pulling our lips apart after a suffocatingly long time, Yo-kun became agitated when he realized I was starting to cry.

"I'm sorry..."

He apologizes, but doesn't try to remove his hand from my back.

I can hear the pounding of his heartbeat and quick steps from our close proximity.

I'll see this through to the end──Now my conviction is unshakable.

He looks into Yo-kun's eyes and smiles.

Yo-kun...No.

"Yo...yohei...yohei!"

I wanted to say, "Yohei, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. You're a little bit grumpy and you don't respond to my feelings at all, and there are times when I feel like I'm going to hate you, but I love you a hundred times over, and I love you for that. Yohei, Yohei, I'll do anything for you if you respond to me. Even if it's embarrassing or painful, anything, anything, anything, anything. Alas, Yohei, Yohei, Yohei, Yohei. Why didn't you look back at me sooner, why didn't you reach out your hand to me, why didn't you suck my lips, why didn't you do anything for me that I could imagine from that nasty book. I don't know how many times I've blamed you for being so lonely and alone. How many nights I've soaked my pillow with tears. There were times when I'd come out of the house the next morning after he'd comforted himself, and I'd want to push him down, begging him not to do it anymore. I'd get so excited thinking that our joined hands had been rubbing his dick yesterday, and I couldn't resist taking a quick sniff afterward, but all I could smell was sweat. When I closed my eyes, I could see Yohei's face when he was climaxing in my mind, and it made my heart race. I kept wishing that I could see that face in front of me, and now it was finally happening, Yohei. I made him throw away all the obscene magazines and books he had, but I could tell he was obsessing over a girl with big breasts and long hair. That's the type of girl he likes, so I let my hair grow without cutting it, and after I took a bath, I'd massage it to improve my blood flow. I'm so confident in my development that I can literally spread my chest out, and there's no way I'm going to lose to that washboard Araki Maya. Not to a girl with such soft blond hair, sea-blue eyes, white, smooth baby skin, and a body that's perfect for looking down on, perfect for cuddling and sleeping with like a ragdoll. Not her. Never. I'll satisfy you. Tomorrow is a holiday, so we'll be together all day, and I won't let anyone disturb us. I'll love you with all my heart. I don't care if Mr. and Mrs. come back. Let's stay connected. We'll never be separated. Let's think of a name for the baby,

I,

I,

Yohei's first!

My emotions explode and I can't stop.

I wanted to pounce on him, rip off his clothes, and devour his lips.

My side is much more animalistic.

"Yohei! Yohei! Yohei! Yohei!"

I grabbed his shoulder to pull my lips back,

I was pushed back hard.

...?

My back hits the ground as I roll away from the couch, staring at my body in disbelief.

My breath caught in my throat. I grunted and coughed. I don't feel much pain. It was just hard to breathe.

"Yohei...?"

I slowly raise myself up.

Yohei, who had rolled off the couch just like me, raised his face from where it was down.

What was there was a very scared face.

His once red face has turned blue and he is trembling.

"... monster,"

Hei mumbles as he steps back.

"Monster...!"

Monsters──those two words seemed to capture my emotions, swelling and muddying like a witch's pot.

It was as if they could see through the deceitfulness of my mixing aphrodisiacs into my rice because I wanted Yo-kun.

This time it was my turn to turn blue.

I noticed...what? Everything. Everything, and I'm about to lose everything.

What I should have kept hidden until death, I had laid bare in front of him.

Why? How did he find out? At my confusion, Yo-kun turned his face away and said.

"──Go back."

"What? Kurumi, weren't you staying at your friend's house?"

Unable to answer her call, I staggered to my room and collapsed on the bed.

Unable to think of anything, I fell into a deep, unconscious sleep.

That night──I had a nightmare.