1 Break-Up

"But why?" she asked as her eyes filled slowly with tears. She felt so pathetic. She did not want to cry right now, but her body was not listening. Shedding tears for this jerk was just not worth it at this point of time but what was she to do with this involuntary response of her body? What about this pain in her heart?

"Why? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Despite being pretty, you always carry yourself like a nerd. And you are always so conservative. We have been going out for two years, two! And yet you never agreed to sex. That's not even the problem here. You cannot talk to my friends properly. You are from such a famous university, yet you act like a country bumpkin," the guy kept criticizing her, hurling hurtful words. He did not forget to give her a look from top to bottom, a look so full of disgust and pity that she was taken aback.

She was still wearing her disheveled mid-length brown hair in a ponytail. Her attire was outright plain, a comfortable brown tee and blue jeans. In the name of make-up, she had just put on red lipstick. No one would have believed that they were on a date even if he had shouted the fact out loud. There was just no effort on her part.

Her long eyelashes trembled. The lights in the bar that they were having dinner under, were hurting her eyes at this moment. The slow music felt so painful to her as if someone was stabbing her heart with a knife. She had been a teetotaler throughout her life but right now, she wanted to down everything in front of her, which was, of course placed on his side of the table.

Even if it was against her principle, she was the one treating him today and was even paying the bill for drinks. And yet, he was here to say goodbye, that too in such a cruel way? If he had so many problems with her, he could have just told her in the beginning. Why drag it out for so long?

In the past twenty four years of her life, no one, not a single person had humiliated Kim Su Won like this. Yet, this person, whom she had been in love for two years now, the very person to whom she had given her full heart, had decided to shatter her dignity like this.

"You… you do not have even an ounce of confidence in you. When you say the right thing, you change it as soon as someone contradicts it. You are such a fool, Kim Su Won! I sometimes wonder whether your academic profile is true or just a farce," the guy in front of her was just not stopping today. His nostrils had flared as he took out the anger of the last two years at this moment. 

Thankfully, there were not a lot of people in the restaurant and the place they were sitting at was somewhat private. However, his slightly loud voice had already attracted whispers from the sparse number of customers in there.

Her body staggered back in the chair. She so wanted to take that cup of hot tea in her hand and pour it over his head.

She knew she was not a confident person owing to her family circumstances. Her mother was a typical Asian mom, always pestering her to study while she herself would be out and about with the neighborhood aunties for gossiping. That old lady did not think of self-improvement, nor let her do it.

And for this reason, although Kim Su Won was a scholar student in her life, her communication skills suffered. She was not allowed to have friends with poor grades or hang out even with friends with good grades. To other people, she came off as an arrogant child. All she was supposed to do was study.

She found solace in reading web novels, a hobby she could not share with anyone. If her mother found out that she was secretly spending time reading those 'trash' novels, she would beat her daughter to death.

Kim Su Won's mother's sharp tongue was enough to kill her hundred times in one sentence. She did not require a physical beating.

Kim Su Won was utterly afraid of her mother, her upbringing was just like that. Thus, she never thought of rebelling against her mom, and her confidence took a plunge. She was so devoid of self confidence that she could cry at the drop of a hat.

"You are actually a smart person, you know? But look where your confidence, or lack thereof, landed you? You do not even know what you want to do for future!" the guy expressed his dissatisfaction in every aspect of her all of a sudden. It was not as if it took this much time for him to discover her weak points.

Kim Su Won wondered, if he wanted to break up, it was okay. But why did he need to point out each and every insecurity she had? She had not told him her vulnerabilities just so that he could make them public like this! And just why was his finger pointing sounding like he was saying all this for her good?

Well, she indeed had graduated with the grades on lower spectrum, even though her university was the most prestigious in the country and companies would reject her just on the basis of her poor grades during placement time in her college.

She was an adult with nothing to show apart from her love for web novels. She finally did get a job at a small company and ended up becoming a corporate slave. A pretty normal life, one would say.

However, she had really become a disappointment for her parents and perhaps for herself as well, as she started her ordinary adult life.

What remained with her was her love for web novels and her 'always in her own world' ways. And so, it was a real shock to her when this guy in her company asked her out. She was not even aware of the guy, apart from a few get-togethers they had during their orientation as freshers in the company.

In the end, having no experience of being in a relationship because she was always 'supposed to be studying', she accepted his proposal just to try it out and ended up falling for him head over heels in a few months. His caring attitude towards her, and his funny side were really appealing to her.

Even now, while he was running his slender, fair fingers through his jet black soft hair in frustration, she still was finding it attractive. That was how much she was 'in love' with him. 

There were a lot of things she had to learn to swim smoothly into this world. However, this guy took all the pains to teach her slowly. He never ridiculed her, ever. He was just so patient with the naïve her. What changed so suddenly?

Who would have known that in two years, their relationship would abruptly take a dive like this, not to mention that he had harbored so much resentment against her for nothing?