The gatekeeper

Caleb's POV

(7:25am)

"Woah, where did all those hair come from?" Leo's question made me want to either face palm myself, or punch Leo in the face.

And I would have done both of those if my arms weren't ladened with this ridiculously huge bouquet that Leo insisted I should buy.

"If you want both of your eyes to match, all you need to do is ask," Shy offered pleasantly, tilting her chin towards Leo's shiner that was now turning into a weird shade of purple.

"Hey, don't blame me for being curious. They weren't there when I left an hour ago." Leo shrugged, eying Shy's hip long tresses suspiciously.

"I showered," she replied helpfully, un-bothered by Leo's pointless observation as if she had conversations like these on daily basis. Maybe she did.

"Ah, that explains it," Leo nodded, as if he got the answer of why earth is round. I, on the other hand, was nearly bouncing off the walls with impatience.

I trusted Leo to be a great wingman and get the task done. Afterall he had filled in that role for nearly 2 decades now, but sometimes, his roundabout ways drove me insane.

Especially when Shy placed a hand on the door knob and made it look like she was about to close it on our faces, a sense of urgency ran through me.

"If that's all you came for—"

But before she could close it completely, Leo cut her off and slapped his hand against the door.

"No, wait!"

Shy paused and raised her brows in question, first at his hand against the door that he quickly snatched back, and then at him.

"Well, if you're looking for your cousin, he's not in here either."

"Oh, I know. Your house is radiating a sense of sedation and dullness that can't exist in the presence of Caleb Cross." Leo sounded like a saint's disciple, and I rolled my eye up at the heaven for a second, before repositioning them to glare at him.

"Besides, he is standing right behind me, trying to poke a hole into my head with his glare," Leo talked on cheerfully, making Shy frown.

She peeked over and around his oversized body until she spotted me behind him and a bunch of long-stemmed roses.

"So he is," she muttered with a tone of surprise that I thought was not meant for any of us to hear.

"And, I'm here because I, uh, brought you some coffee," Leo finished awkwardly and handed the styrofoam cup over to her.

She frowned as she took it and then sniffed it suspiciously, making sure that it was indeed coffee before crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame.

"And may I know what am I getting bribed for?"

Shy waited patiently for either one of us to answer, but I noticed the way she angled her body to block any physical or visual access into the house.

She was leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed, one leg hooked to the door to keep it semi-closed while holding the coffee cup to her side like she hasn't accepted the peace offering until she knew what it entailed.

"Bribe? Naw. I just uh, wanted to thank you. And, um, can we talk inside? Its freezing out—"

"No, we're talking right here," Shy stated firmly before tilting her head and looking at both of us.

"Why do you want to come back in? Did you forget something valuable in here?"

Coming from anyone else, the question would've sounded sarcastic, but Shy's look gave me the impression that hers wasn't.

She was genuinely confused to see me at her doorstep again, and that somehow made me feel worse than getting taunted.

"No, it's just that I—" Leo started to answer her, but I knew this question was meant for me. She had seen me run away, and now she wanted to know why I was back. So I cut Leo's response short, and answered her myself.

"Because you... You were right. You still are." I answered her, and hoped that saying this much was enough, but of course it wasn't.

Her obsidian-like eyes came to rest on me and for a moment, I scrambled for words. Afterall, I wasn't in a habit to admit to that anyone other than me was ever right.

So I cleared my throat and continued, "I'm back because I realised I was indeed leaving something valuable - something very precious - behind. And I was leaving a piece of me with it. With her."

An unfamiliar throb went through my heart as the image of Ruth sleeping next to me popped into my mind. It was enough to derail my thoughts, but I forced myself to focus and continue.

"When I thought Ruth had left me and ran away in Boston, I vowed to never make myself that vulnerable to anyone ever again."

It was uncomfortable for me to spill my guts to a girl I barely knew, but I sensed that she was playing gatekeeper here.

If I can't convince her to let me into the house, then I probably cannot convince Ruth to let me into her life. So keeping my own feelings aside, I continued to state my case.

"But now I understand what you meant. I cannot be vulnerable or devastated ever again if Ruth is not in my life anymore, and that is something I cannot imagine happening."

I paused, expecting her to comment, but she simply raised her brows and waited for me to elaborate.

"What I mean is, I still don't want to be vulnerable or devastated, but I understand that my fear was what was making me run away from Ruth. And if I left today, I would lose her forever. And I can't let that happen."

I looked at Leo, and noticed a small smile on his face. Strange as it sounded, his expression encouraged me to carry on.

Maybe whatever I was saying was the right thing to say, so I continued, "I realise that I have not been very wise, or mature, or even trustworthy so far. But I don't want to lose her, Shy. I can't lose her. I... I'm, well, I'm in love with her."

Shy's eyes widened, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Leo's smile stretch wider until he looked like a Cheshire cat, but I ignored both of their reactions. This time, I wasn't just speaking from my heart, I was also using my head.

For all I knew, Ruth could be standing somewhere behind that door, listening to me fumble like an idiot in the hallway.

And if there was any chance that she had woken up and found me gone, if there was any chance that she was listening to me right now, then I didn't want to leave any stone unturned.

Besides if memory served right, I had already confessed my feelings to her and was probably confessing it to her again, so it didn't matter if her roommate, or even the rest of the world, heard it too.

"I really do. And if having her in my life makes me vulnerable to being devastated, then I'm willing to take my chances with that. Because losing Ruth would guarantee my devastation."