That moment

Caleb's POV

I led Ruth out to the backyard, following the sound of some strange music blaring. The air held its usual late November cold, and I knew it'll only get colder as the night went on.

I eyed Ruth's choice of clothes. It would do for now with fire blazing nearby, but I wasn't sure if they were enough to ward off the cold Boston had this time of year.

For a 'backyard', the area was huge and felt more like a forest clearing with thick line of trees bordering it on all three sides, and strategically placed tree stumps of various sizes cropping up here and there in between.

The ground was purposely left unmanicured, letting the rough surface litter with twigs and foilage, to give it a feel of wilderness even as the trees barely had any leaves left over them.

I inhaled the crisp air, fragrant with burning wood nearby, letting the peace settle into every bone of my body.

After yet another interruption back in the library, I had expected to be on the edge, frustrated, or even angry. But instead, I felt light. Cheerful. As if some kind of weight had lifted off me.

Maybe it was the frigid cold climate today, or the familiarity of this place, this house. Maybe it was the fun of squabbling with Leo over stupidest things. Or maybe it was Ruth.

'Not today.'

Her words echoed in my mind and I felt heart filling up with same tenderness that I had felt when we had kissed in the library. Something had happened tonight. Something had changed, whether it was between us or within me, I wasn't sure.

I looked at Ruth, as she took her surrounding in with the same wide-eyed expression that kids got when they visited Disneyland for the first time.

Watching her get so easily impressed with all this made me realise how jaded I had grown towards everything and how refreshing it was to see it all again from her eyes.

I imagined her expression when she saw this place in spring. With the beautiful Boston climate, the yard would be filled with fragrant lilac and yellow wild flowers, swaying softly as cool wind would comb through them.

The golden sunlight would feel like a warm caress, seeping into the bones without being too much, even with the humidity hanging heavy in the air.

The place looked truly magical, turning into a meadow, instead of the backyard.

I could just imagine lying there on my back, eyes closed, breathing in the naturally fragrant air, as sun dipped low into the horizon, with Ruth's head on my chest, my fingers playing with her soft curls.

I stopped in my tracks as soon as the image popped up in my brain. What the fuck was I thinking? Ruth wouldn't be here in spring. Hell, even I wouldn't be here in spring. I couldn't.

Briefly, my mind went to its usual stone cold place, where no hope, no warmth existed. Where I carried unknown weights over my heart, subconsciously knowing I deserved to be crushed under them, but having no idea why.

But then a small palm touched my arm, pulling me out of that place where I had been stuck for the most of my life.

I looked down at her hand, then at her face as she frowned at me with confusion. I realised that while I was lost in my thoughts, she had gone few paces ahead, only to stop and wait for me because I still held her hand in mine.

Whatever she saw on my face made her frown turn from confused to concerned as she stepped closer to me, her hand gliding up over my arm to my cheek.

"Caleb? Something wrong?"

Was it? I asked myself, but couldn't remember one damn thing that was wrong with the world right now when she was touching me.

It was unnerving, to be suddenly so affected by someone I had decided to stay away from only this afternoon.

But for the life of me, I couldn't recall a single of those reasons I had thought up just a few hours ago to stay away from her right then.

"Caleb? What's wrong?" She asked again. And I answered her honestly.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

The center of the yard had a permanently constructed stone pit where the fire blazed merrily, making crackling sounds when someone added wood to it.

The only source of light in the area was from the bonfire, and strings of bright fairy lights wrapped around and off low tree branches in whimsical bunches, giving an entire place a magical glow.

I made sure to stay close to the fire, having already seen a shiver or two running through her.

The bonfire was surrounded by randomly placed chairs, but they were mostly unoccupied as people roamed around, enjoying food and conversation.

Suddenly, I remembered Leo's heads-up text from this afternoon and my eyes scanned the area, checking if Ana or her husband were anywhere around.

I felt myself relax when I didn't spot either of them anywhere and my grip on Ruth's hand relaxed.

Maybe they had decided not to come, afterall.

Leo came bounding out of the house, coming to a halt right next to us, still grumbling about people sneaking off into the house instead of attending his party. Before I could comment, just to needle him some more, Ruth turned to him.

"You have a beautiful house, Leo," she told him kindly.

I spied a sparkle of mischief in Leo's eyes as he replied, "you haven't seen half of it, honey. Wait until you check out the bedrooms upstairs. That is, if you two could make it out of the library vertically."

As if on cue, Ruth blushed adorably, and I scowled at Leo, not liking him for embarrassing her like this.

"Hey, mind your manners, man," I told him with a hint of warning in my voice.

"I wasn't the one who wanted to 'show her the library', sadly enough," he replied with a martyr expression.

"Besides, you're the one to talk about manners when you haven't even wished happy birthday me yet?"

"What are you, seven?"

But Ruth let go of my hand immediately and shook his hand, to which he bent over her hand, like he was a fucking Duke at the Ball.

"Thank you, Ruth my dear. And thanks for accepting my invitation. A first of the many, I hope."

The sound of meat sizzling nearby somewhere attracted Leo's attention and he straightened, holding Ruth's hand in both of his.

"Are you hungry, Ruth? Would you like to....eat something?" He spoke in a low voice, giving his words an entirely different meaning, and suddenly I was done with this shit.

I knew he was trying to get to me, but damn if I'd let them stand there holding hands and flirting for another fucking minute.

Stepping ahead, I pulled Ruth's hand off Leo's grip gently - well, gentle for her hand, ofcourse - before taking possession of it myself again. There was an unfamiliar, burning sensation in my chest and I decided it was time for a drink.

"Maybe later, birthday boy. Care for some beer, Ms. Brooke?" I asked her, but without waiting for a reply, pulled her along with me, walking away from Leo.

I heard Leo chuckle, before he called out behind us.

"Just so you know, you're walking in the opposite direction from the bar, brother O' mine."

*

"I don't care what you say. Cheese dip is way more delicious than salsa dip."

Ruth announced with finality, apparently ending the argument over which dip tasted better with barbequed chicken.

"You're insane, woman. That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard in my life." I argued back.

"This is the most absurd argument I've ever heard in my life," grumbled a tipsy Leo beside us, but we both ignored him.

In all honesty, I didn't care which dip was better, or more suited with what, but I was enjoying this pointless argument, nonetheless.

For the last two hours, Ruth and I had walked around the backyard, nibbling on various 'refreshments' Leo had laid out for the guests.

She was surprisingly chatty when the topic of conversation was food or decorations, or history.

She had listened intently as Leo described the many generations of our ancestors who had lived in the mansion, the changes and upgradations each one had made.

I honestly had no fucking clue how much of it was true, but Ruth seemed to be enjoying it and Leo was behaving himself, apparently over his obsession to get on my nerves, so I had let him entertain her in that extravagant detailing manner he had of story telling.

Under my supervision, ofcourse. Behaving himself or not, Leo wasn't the goof he generally pretended to be, and Ruth was a beautiful girl, afterall.

I had barely left her side, except to fetch a long woolen overcoat for her from hallway closet, when I sensed the weather getting colder.

I was greeted by people I hadn't met in years, and it felt weird, how people here talked with familiarity.

I noticed most of them regarding my hand in hers curiously, but none of them questioned about it, which was a relief because I could feel Ruth's fingers loosen onto mine everytime she saw someone eying it, like she was ready to drop it the second someone asked us about it.

It was interesting to see how shy she was in front of others, but so bold when alone with me. An image of her sucking onto my throat came to my mind and my fingers tightened around hers involuntarily to keep from shivering.

She looked up at me, with raised brows, but I simply shook my head, as I dispersed that image. Shouldn't think of it in a public gathering, I decided.

As midnight drew closer, the crowd started thinning, I noticed Ruth rubbing her hand over her arm a few times and decided it was time to sit closer to the fire.

But others seemed to have similar idea, because most of the crowd had gravitated around the bonfire too, warming their hands and occupying all the chairs that were placed around.

I spotted a tree stump that was close enough to the fire, but still away from chairs and pulled Ruth towards it. It was higher than others, so without thinking, I took a hold of her around her waist and hefted her up to sit on top of it.

She made a squeaky sound of surprise, and looked up at me with wide eyes at the same time I looked down at her, standing between her legs.

The light from the fire danced over half of her face, highlighting her delicate features, even as the other half stayed under the shadow of my body. But it was her eyes that caught me. They flickered in moonlight, looking multi-hued.

A weirdest combination of hazel, and silver reflected in the darkest browns, that was so beautiful that it struck me dumb as I stared into them. And that was probably the moment when I knew.

I was falling. Falling hard, and helplessly for my assistant.