1 Love was delusional

Lei Wenyan wanted to cry blood. Of all cursed characters that existed in the book, why did she have to be the villainess? The villainess was always the biggest canon fodder of them all.

Then she wanted to laugh until she cried and cried. How was it possible that all her life was written in a book? It was like she was a play thing that was twisted around in another person's web. All her planning and strategizing, all her thoughts and private matters were all fully exposed in the book.

If it weren't for the fact that she had lived that life, she'd also believe that she was a monster that kept forcing a wedge between the main leads' love.

They were featured as a perfect couple. They fit together like two mandarine ducks. They bent backwards for each other. If they ended up in hell, they would make a heaven for each other. Their bond was unbreakable. In his eyes it was only her and she was enough. She had never loved anyone but him.

But the monster, Lei Wenyan, had an twisted character. Her love was delusional. She was always obsessing over a man that never loved her. Worst of all, she knew he didn't love her but she insisted. So what if she was engaged to him? Matters of the heart are not to be arranged. Lei Wenyan was a real evil seed, always causing trouble. She really deserved her end.

delusional/dɪˈluːʒ(ə)n(ə)l/

adjective

characterized by or holding idiosyncratic beliefs or impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, typically as a symptom of mental disorder.

based on or having faulty judgement: mistaken

Lei Wenyan had tried to tear the book apart, but she couldn't even get a scratch on it. The more she looked at the book, the angrier she got.

To shade even more dark light on her was the sharp contrast between the villainess and the female lead. The female lead was kind, filial, intelligent, giving, cute, a sparkling pure white lotus jade flower. The villainess was, well... lacking in every ascept, dumb as shit, an empty beautiful vase.

What's more, even though she had the title of most beautiful, when the female lead stood next to the villainess, the female lead could easily take up the title.

Lei Wenyan scoffed. What were that slut's looks in comparison to hers. Her, Lei Wenyan, for whom the heavens, earth and the underworld confessed extreme beauty!

This book only knows how to proclaim blasphemy.

What's even funnier is the fact that just when the villainess blunders, the female lead enters at that exact moment to make herself shine even more. There wasn't even one of her characteristics that wasn't shown in contrast to the villainess. If there was no comparison to be made, then that character wasn't mentioned.

But sometimes the female lead doesn't arrive in time to catch the villainess. So the male lead steps in and his opinion of the villainess belittles to negatives.

Lei Wenyan hated the book. She really hated it. The book in her hands was solely based on four characters. Portraying her ugly character took up at least half of the book. The female leads lovable character took quarter. The unyielding love of the leads took an eighth. One quarter was left to the flow events of the world. And the other quarter was left to the second male lead.

Lei Wenyan didn't care about the second male lead. He was one of the millions of flies that the female lead called to her bidding. Lei Wenyan didn't know how the male lead could be so blind that he failed to see how much that slut flirted around with other men.

She honestly tried to cure him. She tried to show him so many times. He never registered it. But let Lei Wenyan so much as stand next to another man by chance and someone raises a question, she would be condemned and he wouldn't try to save her. Even if she pleaded.

Why did that cunning woman get all his love? What did she have that Lei Wenyan lacked? Lei Wenyan had come to terms with the fact that she couldn't have the emperor to herself. There would have to be other women. She had swallowed that, she would share. But how come the other woman didn't get to share?

She got everything. People loved her just by the sound of her name. Wherever she went, all she had to do was smile and people would say she had a good character. Lei Wenyan couldn't even laugh naturally before she was called conniving. People would say they saw right through her fake face.

She lost everything before she barely had it. The two most precious people to her, one after the other, Ruan Shaoqing took away.

Ruan Shaoqing, you'll also lose something precious to you.

Lei Wenyan admitted it. She had done it all. She had schemed, on many occasions, to kill Ruan Shaoqing, kill her pregnancy, kill nine generations of her clan, ruin her innocence, poison her into stupidity, cut off her tongue, dismember her body. She did anything she could think of.

But she had reasons for the things she did. She wasn't bad person. She wouldn't take back what she did. She would do it again and again and again.

Why didn't they talk about her undying love for him? Why didn't they say that she was willing to do anything to stay by his side? Why is it that when the female lead was jealous it was cute and when she was, it was inappropriate? How was she supposed to deal with it? Was she supposed to smile and be happy? Would that be considered normal?

Lei Wenyan snapped the book shut and threw it to the side. The book floated into the darkness. She crossed her arms and frowned. How about her? How about her love?

A/N; yay! That's all for now. I'm obviously working on chapter 2 right now. Butttt. Small confession, I'm not Asian or well versed with their culture so if you know more, please tell me or let me read you book with more of that. I hope you guys liked it so far.

Oh and btw, that art ain't mine. I mean, I draw a little but I don't have that much patience. It's by some Chinese illustrator. I don't know his name because it was in Chinese characters. Okay, before you go for chapter two, how about an excerpt from one of those books I'll never finish. (I think) I'll put it in the next chapter so you can tell me what you think. ... I've changed my mind, the excerpt is a bit long...