39.

I stayed with Quinn for awhile longer, not wishing to go back "home". If I could even call it that.. But I knew if I didn't go back something bad will happen.

She gently held my hand as she walked me back, her face grim and serious. I wanted to reach out and make it better, but what could I possibly do to make things better?

I looked at her in the corner of my eye and marvelled at how beautiful she looked. How, even dressed simply, she was still the most beautiful to me. There were no exchange of words as our walk, too quickly, came to an end.

I paused at the door looking back at her, she put her hand up about halfway, almost as if she was waving goodbye or maybe, perhaps, she was reaching to me.

I wished I had all the time to think about it but fear was clawing at my stomach. Like a hungry monster, pawing at me. I wretched my eyes from the sight of her and it felt like a part of me was tearing.

I watched as my hand reached and grabbed the door handle but it was like the hand did not belong to me. Part of me tried to reason with myself; you'll get to see her at school, it's not the end of the world..

Then why did it feel like it?

Tears began to pool over and down my cheeks, everything was so blurry and yet I felt so distant from it all. My hand turned the door handle, I heard the creak of the door. I watched the door slowly open, revealing only darkness to me. Like a great maw of a creature, ready to consume me.

I placed my foot past the threshold, half of my body inside; the other half outside as if something was trying to prevent me from going in. I forced my other foot to step inside.

My eyes stayed downcast, staring at the floor with my tears falling. I heard a door upstairs open. I knew it was him, I imagined his leather patent shoes walking softly on the carpet making a noise so muffled that it seemed only I could hear. It was almost as if I could track his every move.

Right there, you see? He just walked past the bouquet of flowers that sits on the side table. Oh, he's turning the corner now, he's almost upon the stairs.

I kept my eyes downward as he descended ever so slowly. I could feel Quinn's eyes on me as my Father took his time walking towards me. Her gaze so full of worry, I could feel it burning me.

The slap came to me faster than I expected and it was like I was jolted back into my body, the pain on my face stinging as he slammed the door. Already dragging me upstairs, around the corner, passed the bouquet, and into his office.