1 Take One

Am I ready to start talking? Are we recording?

Not yet?

You know I've got other important things I should be attending right now...It's a miracle that I've actually agreed to this, so count yourselves lucky!

So we're ready? Right! Ahem.

My true story of my life begins with the horrifying news I discovered one night.

"WOOF! WOOF!" Alphina barked at me as the veterinarian came out of the operating theatre, holding her in her arms. This had to be good news, this HAD to be.

"We're going to have to put her down," said the veterinarian, her sorrowful eyes staring into mine so hard that I could hardly look back at her without sobbing. "We're sorry, Zelda."

Tears welled in my eyes. "Please," I whispered. "Please don't do this to my dog." Her ears drooped and her lip pouted as if she was about to cry too. I tried to stand up, but Mom gripped onto my arm.

"It's hard for all of us, Zel," she said, "But it's the right decision. Be grown up about it. Give Alphina one last goodbye."

It all began one day like this. I recall every minute of it.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. "Please DON'T! Please DON'T!" I opened my eyes and let out a sigh of relief when I saw Alphina sitting on my bed, blinking up at me, her head cocked to one side. She was alive after all! And I was no longer in that dreadful waiting room.

"ALPHINA! YOU'RE ALIVE!" I screamed, my eyes full of discharge as I rubbed them and blinked up at my beagle, before leaping out of bed to hug her. Alphina gave me a confused look as if to say, What do you mean that I'm alive, I've been alive for as long as you've been alive you weirdo. "I just had the scariest dream that we were at the vet hospital and you were about to be put down…But not like you were unwell or anything, right?" Talking to my dog is like therapy. It may seem strange, but I do it all the time. And if you own a dog, you know it works. Especially if you have had a terrible nightmare about your beloved pet. Alphina gave me another look that resembled, I have a clean bill of health and haven't been sick once, so don't fret. "I'M SO GLAD!" I yelled again, patting her as she licked my face. "SHUT UPPPP!" Of course. It could be no other than my angsty older sister, Lavinia. I'm the one yelling in the mornings where she screams most nights talking to her friends on the phone. And I wasn't even that loud! Well, PAYBACK. Nobody else complains, only her. Mostly because Mom and Harley are currently in Texas shooting a wild-west blockbuster and Saffron, our housekeeper, is too kind to say anything. If you didn't know, my mom and stepdad are famous actors in Hollywood. You may be thinking my life is so splendid and glamorous like a movie, it's everything you've ever dreamt of and its what you want to be when you're older. But that is unfortunately NOT the case.

My name is Zelda Mulette, and I can tell you from experience, my life is not like in the movies.