Sordid Affairs

Ian led her Imperial Highness, the Princess Shay LaLuna of the kingdom of Lunaria and her pretty escort away from the party proper, to a quieter bit of space on the far wall. It was obvious that several young men were prepared to follow her, though for the moment they held back with obvious glares of envy for our young hero.

Ian made a point of meeting every glare with a bland smile, doing his absolute best to look like an absolutely brainless fool, even going so far as to wink at one of the most hostile looking of that lot and to wave at another.

"I think they might murder you in your sleep one of these days," Michelle noted clinically.

"Little old harmless me?" he asked, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Yes you," the guardswoman muttered, even as the Princess tried to suppress a laugh.

"How do you manage to make so many humans angry without even speaking with them?" Ellea asked, obviously intrigued.

"It's a gift," the youth declaimed, idly buffing his nails on his tunic. At those words, the Princess' companion even chortled a bit. He glanced her way, offering a small smile. "Well, that's a surprise... Well, at any rate, let's get to it."

The boy leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and looking as arrogant as he could for the crowd, while the tone of his voice was nothing less than the utmost respect for someone whom had outwitted him. "Do you really wish to hear of my adventures, Highness? I'm afraid I might bore you."

"Nonsense," she hastened to reassure the youth, "The rumors of your single-handedly slaughtering your way through an army of goblins to rescue Lady Parteru and a small army of dwarves. I only saw a dozen or so of them, though, so the losses during your forced march home must have been telling."

Ian opened his mouth, closed it... then opened it again, finally finding some words, "Y-you heard all of that, huh? Dare I ask who told you such embarrassing things?"

"Lady Parteru, of course. She appears to approve of you as being 'not too bad, for a peasant'. I suppose you were expecting her father would give her to you for your bravery or some such?"

"Wow, yeah, not interested. If you're aiming for her, you have my blessing. Look at me, just another commoner hanging out with my future wife and her best friend. The good Lady did embellish that story, just a little bit though."

Commoner... Ian was smiling cheerfully, enjoying some kind of joke, while appearing jovial, just another friendly soldier. "I'll bet she told you it was just me, right? Sadly, the truth is that there were a dozen of us there... and it was only twenty or so gobbos, not some army. Ah, but in the Lady's defense, she had cause to be afraid."

The boy leaned closer, regaling the princess and her companion with a fine story. It was one of his favorites, after all, he'd read the story a dozen times or so over the past few years. He didn't mention hiding or the patrol, but he did lay it on pretty thick.

Aside from the fact that it really was ninety five percent fiction, it was a pretty decent tale and the youth did well to downplay any role he might have had it in, instead pretending to mourn the loss of his companions along the way.

If anything, he credited Ellea with saving his life time and time again and even added Michelle's name to his list of companions. Anyone that knew the old Ian might have believed this account... it sounded plausible and made the fellow telling the story out to seem nearly worthless.

Judging by the looks the two exchanged, they certainly had done a good job of lowering their interest in him. Well, it's not like they really knew each other. After all, she thought he was some peasant, probably a merchant's son.

Some people deserve whatever surprises come their way.

"Well, it was certainly as entertaining as I'd hoped," Princess LaLuna stated, smiling though she seemed to be just a little disappointed for some reason. "What was your name again? I'll be sure to commend you to you're Lord."

Oh the fun he could have with this. Michelle, indignant, was about to step forward but Ian beat her to the punch. "My name, Highness? There are some few that have called me J'son, son of S'ven the Merchant. The good word of Your Highness will surely go far, thank you ever so much!"

"Indeed. Well then, we will be leaving you first."

"Farewell, your highness. May fortune favor you."

The youth watched as the duo left, rejoining their many jealous admirers. He glanced to his companions, grinning impishly. "Well ladies, let's review. What have we learned from this?"

"That either you are a good liar or the princess and her guardian are easily deceived?" the elf suggested.

"That you don't know how to keep my name off your lips?" Michelle asked sarcastically.

"We learned that the Princess isn't going to be amused when she finds out you lied to her?"

"Oh, I have heard she's a spiteful one. I do wonder how she'll make our young lord suffer for his actions?"

"Perhaps she'll ask her father to steal him for her. You know, like a cat that wants to break a toy."

"H-hey, that's enough of that line of thought," the young 'Lord' in question cut in. "No, what we learned is far more important than that stuff."

"Really... and what did we learn?" the elf asked archly.

"We learned that the Princess doesn't know what Ian of Maris looks like, so it's time for us to depart for safer places... My room is nice this time of year, or we can go back to the baths if either of you is feeling daring?"

"Perhaps we should offer this idiot to her Highness as a gift?" Michelle suggested, gauging her putative prisoner thoughtfully.

"I feel safer having him around, for some reason," the elf declaimed, shaking her head.

"A pity... We really were just getting warmed up, you know."

"Rather not follow that line of thought further. Come, Master, let us away!"

"Yes, onwards!" he agreed vehemently. Unfortunately for him, his mother moved to block his escape route... that was going to be awkward if he didn't handle it write. Hmm... How to play it off...

He approached, companions in tow, bowing warmly to his mother. "Hail Lady Megan Maris, to date the most beautiful Lady in all the realms," his voice rang out a bit loudly, meaning it was likely that anyone who cared would hear. "Might I have the honor of your council?"

She looked him over quizzically, speaking normally, "What's all this then? I saved you a seat and everything. You are coming, right? You don't want to embarrass me in front of the Princess, do you?"

"N-no mother, it's not that," he said in a quieter voice, having the grace to look sheepish.

Michelle interjected quietly, "My beloved Lord implied a few things and now he seems to be afraid his purse doesn't have enough coin to cover what his mouth has bought him."

"Rather than worry about such things as that, I was thinking it might be nice to retire early is all. Ah, stress from the journey and all of that..."

"Sorry son, truly, but I've personally made the arrangements. I'm sure that whatever happened with you and the Princess can't be so bad as to embarrass me."

"Mother... I confessed my eternal love and begged her to be my wife."

"What? Again?" Megan was startled for a moment, then lowered her head as though mourning. "Where did I go wrong to raise such a son? The gods must hate my family to curse us so..."

"W-wait, I was just making a joke! I didn't say anything like that, I promise! I was teasing you!"

"What was that last part?" she asked, a warning tone in her voice.

"I only aim to please you, mother," the youth corrected himself once more. "Although she did conclude I was some kind of merchant's son named J'son of all things. What a weird name, wonder where she heard it?"

"Eh? Is that all? Well, come along to dinner, I promise you that I'll take care of things from here."

"M-mom... is that really okay? She has that creepy 'Off with his head!' vibe like in ancient fairy tales."

"Eh? Who would dare expose my son to such terrible ideas?"

"N-no, I was spying on the servants, nobody knew I was there, please don't do anything rash, mother..."

"As if I would... Come on, we're going to sit down and enjoy a nice, quiet, family meal together."

Ian sighed, shaking his head. "Yes mother, of course I'll join you and father for dinner... though how you expect it to be 'nice' or 'quiet' with all these people is beyond me."

"Oh... well, your dear mother just has a way with words, is all."

Laughing, Megan of Maris led her son and his companions to the dinner table, acting for all the world as if she didn't have a single care. She truly was lovely...